Unforgivable - 14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Jason poked at his food, not really hungry, but knowing it would be rude to leave the table.

“Are you okay, honey?” His mom’s concern was evident in her voice.

“I’m fine.” He pasted on a smile and looked up at the worried faces of his family. He had come home earlier that day, and knew he’d been lousy company from the moment he arrived. All he could think about was Corey. When the handsome brunette had kissed him, he’d been caught off guard, but thrilled. In his wildest dreams he never imagined Corey returned his feelings. Leaving Corey standing outside of the spare bedroom had taken all of his willpower, but at the time he was sure he’d made the right call. Stirring the mashed potatoes around on his plate, he went over the last week in his mind, trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

When he’d gone to the office, he was grinning like a loon. His secretary had even commented she’d never seen him smile so much. When Corey didn’t respond to his text, he didn’t think much about it, figuring the man must have been busy. Jason was busy himself, re-arranging his schedule so they could spend Christmas break together. Finally, around four o’clock in the afternoon his cell rang. Excited, he grabbed the phone.

“Hey, handsome. We still on for dinner?”

“Jase?” Corey’s tired-sounding voice sent a spike of concern through Jason.

“Cor?” he asked, cautiously. “Is everything all right?”

“No.” Corey sounded despondent. “I can’t make it. I’m about to head north to my aunt’s place.”

“Is everything all right?” he repeated. “Is it your family?”

“Something came up with my mom,” Corey responded, exhaling loudly. “She’s okay physically, but she needs me right now. I told her I’d spend Christmas with her.”

“Oh… okay.” Jason tried to tamp down the disappointment he felt. He had no right to be upset Corey wanted to spend the holidays with his mom. The fact they hadn’t in years made Jason even more curious about what was going on, but he didn’t want to pry. “I guess I’ll see you when you get back then?”

“Yeah.” Corey spoke so quietly Jason could barely hear him. “And Jase? I’m sorry I didn’t call you earlier. Things have been… difficult today.”

“It’s okay,” Jason reassured him. “Your mom needs you.” Although he was hurt Corey chose not to confide in him, he knew the man didn’t like to talk about his family. “Drive safely. Please let me know when you get there.”

Several hours later he received a short text that simply said, ‘Made it. Talk to you soon.’ Corey hadn’t contacted him again, and Jason didn’t want to intrude. After his initial ‘I hope things are okay,’ text went unanswered, he decided to wait for Corey to contact him. He couldn’t concentrate on anything, wondering what kind of pain Corey must be dealing with to shut down like this. He really hoped Helen was okay. It would devastate Corey if something happened to her.

Now he was sitting with his family, trying to pretend that his heart wasn’t breaking. Unfortunately they knew him well, and could tell something was wrong. He was relieved when, after a few questions, he convinced them to back off, at least for the time being. His mother’s curiosity wouldn’t be held at bay forever.

Later that night, he was in the kitchen getting a drink of water when his father walked in, yawning widely.

“I thought I heard someone up,” he said with a fond smile.

“I was thirsty.” Jason held up his half empty glass.

His father nodded and poked his head into the fridge, moving things around. Upon emerging, he held the last piece of cobbler. “Ha!” He grinned in triumph. “I knew she hid it.”

Jason chuckled and set down his now empty glass. “She is getting stealthier.”

The senior Sedor sat at the table and motioned for Jason to join him. “How are things going?” he asked between bites.

“They’re… all right.”

“That didn’t sound very convincing.” He raised an eyebrow at his son.

“Work is great.” Jason hedged, fidgeting a little under his father’s assessing gaze.

“But not other things.” It wasn’t a question.

“Other things are complicated.”

The older man nodded, and quietly finished his dessert. “You know you can talk to me or your mother… about anything, right?” Blue eyes, almost the exact colour of Jason’s, met his.

“I know, Dad, and I appreciate it,” Jason responded with a weary sigh. “I’m just not ready to talk about this.”

“All right, Son.” Standing, he gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. After rinsing his plate, he looked over to the clock on the stove. “I should get back to bed before your mother misses me. It’s already past midnight. Merry Christmas, Jason.”

“Merry Christmas, Dad.”

Christmas morning dawned, bright and sunny, with the snow glittering like a blanket of diamonds. Jason wished more than anything he could share the view with the man he’d come to care so much about. Forcing himself to move, he headed for the shower. With no young children in the house, their day started later, so he had time before his mother’s breakfast feast.

With his appetite shot, he only picked at his food, but was able to put on a happy face for the gift exchange. Regardless of what was happening in his personal life, Jason didn’t want to ruin his family’s celebration. After a quick clean-up, his parents left to pay a call on an older gentleman who lived in the neighbourhood. He was alone, but refused invitations to join their family for holiday meals. As a compromise, his parents would drop by to visit, bringing a plate of leftovers with them. Kat said she had plans to meet up with her best friend for a few hours, but didn’t want to leave her ‘obviously messed up brother alone to wallow’… her words. After insisting he was fine, she finally left with a promise not to be gone too long.

Sitting in the room that had been his for most of his life, he held his phone, debating calling Corey. He wanted to hear the man’s voice, but wasn’t sure his call would be welcome. Grumbling over his indecisiveness, he dialed the number. He couldn’t let the day pass without wishing his friend a Merry Christmas, even if the man was having second thoughts about a relationship. It might hurt like hell, but he would be Corey’s friend.

“Jase?” Corey sounded surprised, but didn’t seem upset about the call.

“Hey, Cor.” Jason smiled, glad to hear the familiar voice. “I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Thanks. You too.” There was a slight pause. “Did you end up going to see your parents or are you still in Kingston?”

“I’m at my parents’ place,” he answered, laying back on the bed and closing his eyes. “I was able to get away after all. Your mom must be thrilled to have you around this year.”

“She is.” Corey hesitated again. “It’s been years since we were together for the holidays. It’s… nice.”

“I’m happy for you,” Jason responded. “I hope everything works out up there.”

“Me too. Listen, Jase, I hate to cut this short, but I hear Aunt Donna calling everyone for brunch. I’ll be home in a few days. We can talk then, okay?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Jason felt a stab of disappointment but quickly quashed it. “I’ll see you when you get back then?”

“I’ll call you. Have a good Christmas, Jase.” Before he could answer, the line went dead. Jason felt tears sting his eyes. Somehow, without knowing what happened, he’d ruined his chances with Corey. The man was clearly distancing himself. Taking a deep breath, knowing there was nothing he could do about it right now, he decided to go for a run. Maybe the cold and the quiet would help him think.

Tired of the family’s barrage of questions, Jason decided to return home on Boxing Day. He wasn’t sure when Corey was expected back, but wanted to be home in case he was needed. Since they had reconciled, they hadn’t gone a single day without talking, and Jason found he really missed him. Tired of feeling sorry for himself, he went in to the office on Friday morning. No one else would be there, but it would give him a chance to catch up on his reading.

After a few hours of wading through contracts, it was time for a break. Grabbing his jacket and gloves, he went to his favourite diner for lunch, and maybe treat himself to a slice of pie. While eating, he wondered about his friend. When was he coming home? What happened for him to finally spend the holiday with his mother? It must have been something pretty major. Lost in his thoughts, he was startled when he heard Corey’s voice from across the room.

“Thanks, Annie. I haven’t been in the mood to do any shopping since I got back.”

“Hi, Corey,” greeted the cheerful woman behind the register. “I thought you must have gone somewhere. We usually see you a couple of times during the break. Did you just get back?”

“Yeah, I got in late yesterday.”

Jason was stunned. Corey had been back since the day before, and hadn’t bothered to call or text him? Regardless of their relationship status, he thought he was Corey’s friend. The man knew Jason was waiting to hear from him. The least he could have done was mention he was home. Before he could decide what to say, Corey turned and left without realizing Jason was there. As he stared at the door, Jason became more upset. The man might not want a romantic relationship with him, but it was pretty cold to let Jason worry like that. His stomach in knots, he left without bothering to finish his meal.

Later that evening, Jason was still angry and hurt. He’d given Corey the benefit of the doubt, and waited for him to make contact. It was now after 8pm… and still nothing. Wanting answers, he drove to Corey’s. The lights blazed from the living room, letting him know the man was home. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he slowly walked up the front stoop. He knocked and waited, trepidation making him tense. How had things between them changed so drastically?

“Jason?” Corey looked surprised to see him… surprised and guilty.

“Can I come in? I think we need to talk.”

Corey looked nervous, but finally nodded. He stepped back and waved Jason inside. “Yeah… we should talk.”

After taking off his coat, he sat on the couch, while Corey took the overstuffed chair. The brunette fidgeted, and wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I was in the diner at lunch today.” Jason finally spoke, breaking the awkward silence.

Corey turned his startled gaze on him. “Oh.”

“Yeah… oh.” Jason kept eye contact, trying to figure out what was going on inside his friend’s head. “Why didn’t you tell me you were back?”

“I....” Corey took a deep breath and blinked several times. “I don’t… I’m sorry.”

“Cor.” He shifted closer, reaching for Corey’s hand, and was surprised to feel it trembling. “What happened? Is your mom all right?” Corey looked so lost it made Jason’s chest ache. He wanted to pull the man into his arms and make the pain go away.

“She’s doing better,” Corey’s voice shook slightly. “She left my dad.”

Jason was stunned. He knew from Drew that Helen Smyth had put up with a lot in her marriage over the years. It must have taken something huge for her to finally walk away. “Are you okay?”

Corey’s expression turned hard, and his back straightened. “She needed to get away from him. I spent the better part of the last two week reminding her she deserves better.”

“Oh, babe,” Jason squeezed Corey’s hand. “I’m sorry.” He was taken aback when Corey flinched and yanked his hand away. The brunette stood and walked quickly to the window, but didn’t speak. Tamping down his own feelings, he moved to Corey’s side. “Corey, please….” He placed a hand on Corey’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? Talk to me… please.”

Corey spun towards him. “What’s wrong?” he snapped. “My father got his fucking secretary pregnant and my mother had to find out by having a pregnancy test flung at her feet… in front of her home… where all of the neighbours could see.”

“Damn,” Jason said with a grimace, running a hand through his hair. “That’s awful. She must be devastated.”

“She is… she feels like her world is falling apart.”

Jason reached out to place a comforting hand on the shorter man’s shoulder, but was shrugged off, again. “Don’t.”

“Why not?” Jason had no idea what was going on. All he wanted was to offer his friend comfort. “I just want to help.”

“You can’t, okay?” Corey retorted with a snarl. “People like you are the problem.”

This time Jason stepped back, feeling as though he’d been slapped. “Excuse me?” He stared at the scowling man. “People like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Cheaters… you’re all the same.” Corey was yelling now, shaking, as he wrapped his arms around his torso. “All you think about is yourselves. You don’t care who gets hurt as long as you get your dick wet.”

“What? Listen, I know you're pissed off at your dad, but don't put this on me. I'm not him.” Jason’s voice started to rise as his irritation increased.

“But you’re just like him,” Corey snapped, wiping tears from his eyes. “You don’t care who you hurt.”

“I’m not like your father, Corey.” The anger and disgust in Corey’s eyes felt like a punch in the gut. “I know I fucked up with Pierre, but I never cheated on another person. I swear.”

Corey snorted, turning back to the window.

“You’re never going to forgive me, are you?” Jason could feel tears threatening, and the pain made it difficult to breathe. “No matter what I do I’m always going to be that asshole twenty-year-old who made the worst mistake of his life, aren’t I?”

When Corey didn’t respond, Jason shook his head. He yanked on his boots and grabbed his jacket, needing to get out of there. “I thought you knew I… I could never do that to you, Cor,” he said quietly before walking out the door.

The drive home was a blur. He wasn’t sure how long he sat in the driveway, but the cold finally made him go inside. Going through the motions, he put his things away, tidied the kitchen and sat in front of the television, not really paying attention to the evening news. He wanted to cry, but felt too raw, alternating between mourning his loss, and angry Corey would think he was like his serial-cheating asshole of a father. How had things gone so wrong, so quickly? Last week he’d been on top of the world… his affection had actually been returned. Now? Now, his past mistakes were coming back to bite him in the ass. He wanted to place all of the blame on Ian Smyth, but if he’d never made those stupid decisions as a kid, Corey might trust him now. He rubbed his chest, trying to take away some of the ache.

When he was tired of going in circles, he turned everything off and undressed for bed. As he lay there, he wondered if maybe this was for the best. It was obvious Corey was never going to trust him. What was the point in setting himself up for a broken heart, when the man couldn’t forgive him? He thought he’d shown Corey how much he cared… how much he had changed, but apparently it wasn’t enough. He laughed humourlessly… who the hell was he kidding? His heart was already invested… and it was already broken.

He’d finally fallen asleep when the doorbell rang. Grabbing his jeans off of the floor he headed for the door, rubbing his tired eyes. He blinked at the person standing on his stoop, the cold on his bare chest making him shiver.

"What are you doing here?"

Thank you to my wonderful, and hard-working editor, Gary,   and thank you to everyone who reads and supports this story.