The Hidden Ones: The Spotlight - 25. Home Sweet Home

---Ryder---

As the old white van pulled onto the dirt driveway I felt all the weight I’ve been carrying this past week and a half fall from my bones. It’s been an insane tour, from going to nobodies to a rising band with our own record deal! I never thought this day would come. I never thought I’d be anything more than a dive bar singer, but suddenly everything’s coming together. Messiah’s climbing the charts, and I plan to keep it that way.

“Alright kid.” tommy waived from the driver seat. “This is your stop. Rest up, we’ve gotta be back in the studio first thing Saturday morning.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, already having songs planned out in my notebook. “I could go right now if we needed.”

“Of course you could,” Brandon sighed opening the door for me. “Now get out, I’m sick of waking up to your ugly mug every morning. Oh and don’t hump your boyfriends leg too hard!”

“At least I’m not single.” I smirked, climbing out and turning towards them.

“I’m not single,” Brandon argued. “Hell, I’ve got more than one girl.”

“Prove it.” Tommy yelped from the front of the van.

“Yeah.” Zach laughed. “Everyone’s girlfriends are coming to the next band practice.” He decided with a nod of his head. “Oh, and boyfriend.” He quickly added.

“You’ll have to run me over with this van before I let that happen.” Brandon yelped. “Besides Ryder’s boyfriend doesn’t even like us, he’s too much of a prude.”

“He’s not a prude!” I defended, cautiously staring at him. “You just don’t know him yet, but you’ll see.”

“Sure.” Zach sarcastically agreed. “See you in two days!” he exclaimed, pulling the door shut as Tommy quickly pulled away laying down heavy on the horn.

“Well I’ll be damned.” I heard a familiar voice call out as the front door of my house swung open. “Look who finally found his way home.”

“Hey grandma,” I couldn’t help but smile as I quickly made my way up the stairs and into her arms. “You’ve been okay without me?”

“I swear I’m going to beat the sense into you and Teddy,” she lectured, holding me tightly. “I’m not some fragile old woman who needs to be watched.”

“I know you’re not,” I supported as she finally let me go. “I just didn’t want you to get lonely.”

“Your boyfriend fed me the same lie.” She warned putting her finger in my face. “What’s wrong with you?” She stopped herself and grabbed onto my cheek. “Why are you so green?”

“I’m not green.” I defended, pulling away from her grasp. “I just haven’t eaten much lately I guess, but I’m fine!”

“Well come inside I’ve got leftovers that’ll last us for weeks!” she laughed. “I really need to learn how to cook for one!”

“Actually, I, uh,” I nervously let out, turning and looking back at our car.

“Go ahead.” She groaned, taking a seat on the porch. “but tonight I expect a lot of one on one time with you, no hiding in your room!”

“You’ve got it.” I nodded as my smile grew. “I missed you.” I let out, hugging her one last time.

“I missed you too.” She pulled me in closely once more, making sure to hold me tightly. “Now get out of here!”

As soon as I stepped out of the car and heard the familiar ping of a lacrosse shots knew exactly where to find him. I quietly moved around the back of the house, and just watched as he practiced shot after shot.

“Come on!” he groaned in frustration as another one flew off the pipe.

“I think you’re supposed to put them in the net.” I teased, watching him scoop up another ball and shoot it wide.

He quickly turned and tried his hardest to hide the smile from his face. “Hey stranger” he let out, leaning on his lacrosse stick, just like he had the day I came over to apologize. “Think you can do better?”

“I know I can.” I teased, quickly walking up and pulling him into my arms. “I missed you.” I exhaled. As our lips connected I felt a spark as strong as ever, it was as though our souls had finally reconnected.

“I missed you too.” He laughed, resting his head on my shoulder. “I think this is the most loving I’ve ever seen you.”

“I’ve been dreaming of this moment since we left.” I explained, refusing to let him go. “We fit five guys into a three person van. Every morning I woke up wishing I was next to you.”

“Alright, alright, save me the emmy performance,” Teddy giggled. “I was going to sleep with you anyway.”

“I really did miss you though.” I exhaled, starting to get serious. “I got to see so many different cities, and meet so many people, I wish you could’ve been there for it.”

“Well when you get an actual tour bus we’ll see if I can come along.” He smiled with a quick raise of his eyebrows.

“Oh yeah?” I provoked as I finally let him go.

“Yeah” he nodded, picking back up the short lacrosse stick.

“Before that you’d need to get to know the guys,” he nodded once more as he resumed taking shots at the net. “which is perfect because everyone’s girlfriends are coming to the next band practice.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not a girl.” He taunted, glancing over to me than back to the net.

“You know what I mean.” I continued, noticing the disinterest in his eyes. “I spend a lot of time with these guys, I think it’d be good if they got to know you.”

“I’m just teasing.” He lied. “Just let me know when and where.”

“Saturday morning we have studio time, which means that night in the cemetery we’ll practice.” I quickly explained, trying my hardest to not give him an excuse to miss it.

He made a face and began to lean on his stick again. “Wait, didn’t you just finish up in the studio?”

“Two weeks ago.” I answered with a shrug. “but we need an album if we’re going to open for bands, plus we need to capitalize on the attention we’re getting.”

“Weren’t you just opening for bands though?” He asked, his eyes starting to grow serious.

“For a festival. It’s different when they go on their own tours.” I tried to explain, but I could tell he didn’t fully understand it. “Sure, when people have sixty bands to see in a day we could get by with a set list off of E.P.s and covers, but that would get us nowhere on a real tour.” Teddy grew quiet and stared into my eyes. I tried my best to force a genuine smile but the gears in his mind seemed to break right through it. I know he understands what I’m saying, so why does he looked so concerned? “What is it?” I sighed, finally giving up on the mystery.

“Nothing.” he shook his head, and picked back up his stick. “It feels like I just got you back and you’re already talking about leaving again.”

I let out a deep sigh before walking up and grabbing him from behind. “You can come with me.” I gently whispered kissing him on the cheek.

“Ryder,” Teddy exhaled, trying to stay realistic about it.

“I’ve got a good two or three weeks before I even have to think about leaving again.” I clarified, trying my hardest to comfort him. “And by then maybe we will have our own tour bus, and you can come along for part of it.”

“Maybe.” he repeated, but I could tell it was beginning to bother him.

“Until then, how about I kicked your ass in lacrosse?” I teased, trying to grab the stick out of his hands.

“Hey!” he giggled, breaking free of me. “No one uses this one but me, you’ll have to go use that one.” He pointed over to another lacrosse stick lying behind the goal.

“Fine.” I taunted, walking over and grabbing it. “This one’s bigger anyway.”

“Don’t be gross.” he laughed, finally beginning to lighten back up

“I’m not being gross,” I defended with a quick shrug of my shoulders. “I’m just saying that my stick is longer than yours’. What’s so gross about that?”

“Yeah you wish.” He teased, trying to pass me the ball, but just like the first time he tried to teach me it bounced off the head and onto the ground. “How can you be so athletic on the stage, but not when it comes to sports?”

“How can you be so good at handling lacrosse sticks but so bad at,”

“Ryder!” Teddy interrupted in laughter. “What’s gotten into you lately?”

“Too much time with the band I guess.” I smiled, scooping up the ball and passing it over to him. “So catch me up, what have I missed?”

“A whole lot of nothing.” He smiled as I finally caught one of his passes. “Blake and Liz are still Blake and Liz. My mom’s started to get morning sickness so that’s been fun to wake up to. My dad’s really sweet though, he remembers all her cravings and needs from when she was pregnant with me. I guess it’s a good reminder of why they’re still married.” He giggled. “Your grandma’s been a riot, she swears my mom’s going to have a boy, something about her aura.”

“Oh no.” I shook my head. “You had her over here?”

“Yeah, my parents totally loved her. She’s really nice, I don’t know why your act like she’s insane.” He continued, but as he read the look on my face he shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, she is kind of crazy, but she’s funny. I’m finally done with Mike,” his voice grew more serious as he thought of his old friend. “He’s just so much of a dick, you know?” he exhaled, sparing the details. “Oh! Principal Reynolds was asking about you.”

I made a face but tried to keep my focus on not missing his passes. “What’d he say?” I forced out.

“He was just wondering what’s going on with your music. I guess he heard you on the radio.” Teddy proudly smiled. “I guess we all have.”

“Yeah well he can take his radio and shove it,”

“Ryder!” Teddy exclaimed once more, shooting me a serious look. “He’s proud of you, happy that Hudson has someone as talented as you.”

“Well Hudson’s had a funny way of showing it these past three years.” I grumbled, as my eyes fell to the ground.

“I know High School wasn’t perfect for you,” Teddy began, trying his hardest to inspire me. “but wouldn’t it be so much easier to just walk away the bigger person? It’s not like you can be angry your whole life.”

“It’s worth a shot.” I mumbled low enough so he couldn’t hear me. He shot me another concerned look, but kept his lips shut. “What?” I groaned, knowing I was going to hear it one way or another.

“Nothing.” He shook his head and slowly thought it over. A minute or two of silence went by before he finally made eye contact again. “I just, I hate when you bottle everything up. It’s like you’re…never mind.” He stumbled, pulling back some words.

I caught the next pass but dropped the stick to the ground. “Teddy” I exhaled, walking over to him. “I’ll be okay, I swear.”

“Okay.” he accepted as I pulled him in closely. “Let’s go inside, I think my mom’s making lunch or something.”

I nodded, and took his hand as he lead my inside. “I think for once you’re more worried than me.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible.” Teddy teased, bucking shoulders with me. “I just really missed you is all.”

I couldn’t help but smile as I heard his words. I mean I know we’ve been saying it a lot today, but it really does feel special to hear him say it. To know he was thinking about me.

“Hey!” Mrs. Haner shouted, seeing me walk in through the basement door. “Welcome home!” My smile grew wider as she walked up and quickly hugged me. “How was the tour?”

“It was great.” I proudly answered. “Like, ten times better than I imagined it to be.”

“Well we’re all really happy for you.” She reflected my smile and turned towards the living room. “Harrison! Come see who’s back!”

“Look, if it’s those mice again I swear,” he began walking into the kitchen. “Look what the cat dragged in.” he remarked reaching over and shaking my hand. “You’re back in one piece, so I take it the tour went well?”

“About as good as it could’ve.” I replied, returning my hand to Teddy’s. “There was just so,”

“Hold on.” Mrs. Haner interrupted. “Why don’t’ we all sit down with lunch first,”

“Oh I don’t know,”

“No excuses Ryder.” She reprimanded in a strict voice. “Just look at you, are you trying to be all skin and bones? What were you eating on tour?”

“Whatever fast food we could find.” I bashfully admitted as a blush grew on my face.

She rolled her eyes before serving out some type of fruit salad she had made. “Eat this. Your body’s probably been dying for something healthy.” She instructed as we all took seats at the table.

“So when’d you pull in?” Harry asked, glancing from his son to me.

“Probably around ten this morning, we drove in from Garden City so it wasn’t too bad of a drive.” I explained with a shrug of my shoulders. “None of the drives really were. I just wish we had more space.”

“Teddy,” Mrs. Haner let out in a strict tone. “You didn’t even give Ryder any time with his grandmother before,”

“It’s not his fault,” I quickly interrupted “He had no idea I was even coming back today, I surprised him.”

“You’re always welcome here,” Harry began. “But didn’t you want to spend time with your grandmother first? I’m sure she’s been counting down the days since you left.”

“I promised I’d stay with her all night talking about everything, but I, I really needed to see Teddy I guess.” I explained, trying to put my feelings into words. “I would’ve been all fidgety and distracted if I hadn’t.” I looked towards him and he reflected back my smile. “I just need to be with him for a bit.”

Harry reached over and gently rubbed his wife’s leg, happy to hear my words. “So what’s next from here?” Mrs. Haner asked, staying focused on me.

“We go back to the studio Saturday morning and start working on our debut album.” I explained, thinking over everything in my mind. “As of right now we have one or two good offers to open, but I know once this album comes out we’ll get even more. I can just feel it.”

She gently laughed and nodded her head. “He’s different.” She observed looking to Teddy.

“He’s more confident.” Teddy smiled, agreeing with his mother, but I could tell something about the conversation was making him uneasy.

“Were they bands you opened for at warped tour?” Harry asked, eager to learn more about Messiah’s path.

“No,” I shook my head. “Just bands that heard about us through the grapevine. They’re not bad or anything, I just know we can do better.”

“So then warped tour was a success?” Mrs. Haner asked, proud of what she was hearing.

“To a degree,” I swayed my head. “I mean we got booed pretty bad at one or two shows, but I think we were still able to win over a good part of those crowds.”

“and that didn’t mess with you?” Teddy asked, looking over at me with curious eyes.

“Kind of.” I shrugged. “but as long as I could find groups of people that were enjoying us I could settle in. Big crowds are good like that. It’s when we start playing smaller venues that things will change.”

“What do you mean?” he asked with small concern growing in his eyes.

“They’re a little bit rougher,” I answered. “They just want the main band to come on already, so if they aren’t into it they’ll try and get you off the stage as fast as possible.”

“And that’s what the next tour holds?” Harry asked.

“Oh yeah” I quickly nodded.

“And when’s that?” he asked, excitement still glowing on his face.

“I don’t know,” I lied, feeling Teddy’s uneasiness grow. “I mean we can be caught up in the studio from anywhere from three weeks to a month and a half, you just never know.”

“But the tour will follow that right?” Mrs. Haner asked and once more I nodded my head. “Then senior year of high school probably won’t be a reality for,” Before she could finish her sentence Teddy silently stood up, placed his plate in the sink and went down to the basement making sure to shut the door with some force behind him. “What in the world was that about?” She asked, turning towards her husband.

“He doesn’t like talking about my next tour.” I exhaled, standing up. “Especially since I just got back and all.”

Harry and his wife shared a concerned look before turning back towards me. “Please, finish eating.” Harry encouraged. “I’ll go talk to,”

“It’s okay, I’m done anyway.” I quickly answered walking towards the sink. “Thank you Mrs. Haner, lunch was great.”

She happily raised her eyebrows towards her husband, clearly impressed by the new way I was starting to carry myself. As I walked down the basement stairs I saw Teddy quietly lying on the couch with his back towards the staircase. I thought about lying with him, but the second I saw the guitar on the rack I knew exactly what to do.

I snatched the small acoustic guitar, and took a seat on the ottoman right across from the back of his head. I gently began to strum the chords to the far familiar song and gave into the lyrics.

“You know the first time I ever sang that song in front of anyone was at your families’ barbeque?” I asked, but was met with no response. “Actually, every time I’ve played that song in front of people, you’ve been there.” I gave him another second, but silence filled the air once more. “I don’t think anyone can understand how hard it is for me to play that song. As mad as I may be at my dad, that song, it just makes me feel like his love is still there for me. I-I guess one way or another I’ve always connected it with love, and that-that’s why I play it for you so much.” I reached over and gently laid my hand on his arm. “I’m terrified of the future. I have no idea what it’ll bring, but knowing I have you, that’s what’s gotten me through it all.”

“It’s not fair.” He finally let out. “Everything’s changing so fast. I just want to go back to seeing you play in the barn. I know that’s selfish, but it just felt like you needed me so much more back then, but now,” his words trailed off and I swear I heard a sniffle or two.

“But now?” I led, trying to get him to share what he was thinking.

“Now you have crowds of people cheering for you, and tour after tour,” he breathed. “You don’t need me anymore, and it’s only a matter of time until you won’t want me.”

“Hey!” I let out shocked by what I was hearing. “Hey!” I repeated, putting down the guitar and sitting as close to him as possible. “I don’t know where the hell you got that from, but I need you now more than ever. I-do you know what I used to do every night when I was lying awake in the van?” He turned towards me and I could see a few tears falling from his eyes. “I’d look at this picture.” I answered, pulling out my phone and showing him one of the few pictures he’d taken of us. “and after a few days in I started looking at this picture.” I teased, showing him a screen shot of him I had taken.

“Where’d you even get that?” he pushed out, as a small smile filled his face.

“On the fourth night of the tour you stayed up late to face time, but after a few minutes you fell asleep. When you woke up you didn’t even realize you’d fallen asleep.” I smiled as the memory hit me.

“And you kept the call going?” he asked, looking from the picture to me.

“Of course.” I nodded. “It was just so peaceful you know? It felt like I was actually laying there with you, like I could watch and make sure you were safe. I thought about you every single night of that tour.”

“You’re such a creep.” He lightly laughed as I wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Maybe.” I shrugged. “But it’s only because I love you so much my heart hurts. Everything is changing, and they’ll keep changing, but the one thing that won’t change is how much I love you Teddy Haner. No matter what happens, I’ll never stop loving you.”

“Promise?” He lightly asked as the last tear fell from his eye.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” I nodded without hesitation.

“You can stop listening in now!” Teddy shouted towards the stairs as he caught a glimpse of a shadow on the wall. There was a quick second of shhing before we heard Teddy’s parents try to quietly make their escape. “Sorry” he exhaled, returning his eyes to mine.

“Don’t even worry about it.” I smiled, and moved over to the couch so he could lay on me. “It’s nice that they’re worried.”

“I just wish they didn’t worry so much.” He grumbled. As his words bounced around my head I couldn’t help but wonder what’d it’d be like to still have my parents. I know my dad was super laid back, and wouldn’t care what gender I bought home, but I wonder if he’d like Teddy. If he’d approve of the guy I was falling head first for.

“It’s just because they love you.” I shrugged, lightly combing through his hair. “You caught us pretty off guard at lunch, I’ve never seen you shut down like that.”

“It happens sometimes.” He sighed, trying his hardest to get comfortable. “I just didn’t want to hear about senior year without you. I had a feeling for a while that you wouldn’t finish our high school with us, but now that it’s becoming a reality, it just hurts so much more.”

“I know.” I comforted. “but it’s not like I’m disappearing, we can still talk, and I’ll find ways to be home for more than just a week at a time.

“Can you just promise that you’ll try and make things like homecoming, and prom?” He pushed out, catching me off guard.

“You want to go with me?” I asked, still trying to wrap my head around the idea.

“That’s what people do,” he softly laughed. “They take their boyfriends and girlfriends you goof.”

“I know.” I shook my head. “It’s just, I guess I forget how real this is, that it’s actually happening.” He kept his eyes focused on me, carefully awaiting my answer. “I promise I’ll try my hardest to come home for both.”

“Good, because it’s about time Hudson has its first two prom kings.” He smiled, as we both reclined on the long couch.

Imagine that, me, prom king? This life is a dream, it just has to be. I’m getting recognized for my music, I’m going on tours, I have the best boyfriend ever and I’m actually happy! I don’t know what’s going on, but I never want to wake up. I never want to go back to the life I used to live, I refuse to. Bring your worst, because I’m not letting any of this go.