The Hidden Ones: The Spotlight - 20. A Warped Beginning

----Ryder---

It’s weird, how quickly strangers can grow into what feels like family. It feels like it was just yesterday that I nervously showed up to Teddy’s to apologize for yelling at him, but now, now I’m out to dinner with his parents. I mean me, they’re out to dinner with me. Last summer I spent all day in my room writing music! I didn’t even get along with my bandmates that much! Hell, I don’t even get along great with my new bandmates! But then he came into my life, I turned and smiled towards the teen trying his hardest to politely eat his food, he showed me it’s okay to open up to people. He’s opened up a side of me I didn’t even know existed.

As dinner wound down I couldn’t help but keep glancing towards him. “What’s that look mean?” Teddy laughed, grabbing onto my hand as we made our way out of the restaurant.

“Nothing.” I shrugged. “I guess I’m just happy is all.”

“Ryder Sullivan? Happy?” He questioned with a grin. “It’s a new day.”

“I guess it is.” I shrugged once more. “Thank you Teddy.”

“For what?” he giggled, as our eyes locked.

“Giving me a chance.” I let out, not sure where I was going with it.

“You’re the one who gave me the chance.” He smiled, shooting me a weird look. “We were never supposed to speak again after my party.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, remembering how much I used to resent Teddy, and for what? Because he’s a likeable guy? “Yeah, I still kind of regret going back on that.” I teased, as he met me with a playful shove. “Speaking of forgiving people, how long until you’re back on speaking terms with Blake?”

“I don’t know,” He shook his head. “I don’t know if I can even look at him or Mike for a few weeks.”

“But warped tours in less than five days, and you’re going to be there, and he’s going to be there,” I began to trail. “and you’ll both be running the Messiah booth during my set.” I quickly sped up my words as I got near the end.

“What?” He asked caught off guard by my words.

“Yeah, can you believe it’s only five days away? I mean, it feels like,”

“No” he interrupted. “What’s that last thing you said?”

“Blake will be there.” I shrugged. “But you already knew,”

“No, after that.” Teddy pushed, as his gaze grew stricter.

“After what?” I laughed, trying my hardest to turn it into a game.

“Ryder” Harry spoke up, showing he had been listening in. “Teddy is his mother’s son, trust me on this one, it’s a lot easier to just rip the band aid off.”

“And what does that mean?” Mrs. Haner butted in, turning towards him.

He raised his eyebrows towards me and kept his lips closed tightly. “You and Blake are running the booth together.” I finally confessed, seeing doubt rise in his eyes. “I know I promised it to you, because you have a great personality, but I need someone who understands the people too.” I quickly explained. “And the booth is right near the stage so you’ll have a great view,” I swayed my head back and forth. “I just want things to go back to normal.”

He slowly thought it over and sighed. “It will, just give it some time.”

“It was my fau-“

“Give it some time.” Teddy interrupted in a strict voice.

I saw Harry make a face out of the corner of my eye. “I’ve heard that tone before.”

“Harrison!” his wife reprimanded, seemingly copying Teddy’s tone “Stay out of their business.”

“Sometimes you just have to give them a little push.” he advised, quickly backing away from his wife.

“Harrison! Car! Now!” his wife scolded, staring him down. “It was nice eating dinner with you Ryder, I hope to make it to warped tour.”

“She’ll be there.” Harry nodded, only to be met with another strict glare from his wife. “Oh come on! When’s that last time you went to a concert? We used to go all the time when we were younger! Just one,”

“Harrison”

“One” He repeated “One, one, one,”

“You’re such a jerk.” she laughed, finally showing her lighter side. “Fine, I guess I can take the day off.”

“Sometimes you just have to break them down.” He advised, opening the driver’s side door. “Have a good night Ryder.”

“Good night.” I quickly nodded. “And thank you guys for dinner. I-I appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” he smiled before climbing into the car.

“Ryder.” Mrs. Haner began “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure.” I cautiously let out, walking towards her. She led me a step or two away, not too far, but far enough so they couldn’t overhear. I felt the nerves from the beginning of the night resurface as she pulled me aside. Is she going to ask me to put space between me and Teddy? I, she hates me, I know she does, I shouldn’t’ve tried to make a stand, or,

“I’m sorry if I was hard on you tonight,” She began, interrupting my anxious thoughts. “I didn’t mean to worry you, or make you think I didn’t like you. I just, it’s hard for me to watch Teddy grow up.”

“Yeah?” I asked, unsure what else to say.

“I’ve had him since I was nineteen, and sure, Harry stayed around through it all, but there were a lot of times where it felt like it was just him and me vs the world.” She took a breath and looked over to her son. “He is the most important thing in my life, and sometimes I get carried away trying to protect him. But he’s almost eighteen, and I have to accept that he can make his own choices now.” She let out another sigh, and looked back to me. “But for the record, I do approve of you. You have a plan, and you’re a hard worker. I misjudged you, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled, completely caught off-guard by her apology. “You just want what’s best for Teddy, we both do.”

She smiled and gently nodded her head. “Just keep working hard okay? Like I tell Teddy, don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.” Once more I watched her eyes shift over to Teddy than back to me. “And for the love of God get him talking to Blake again. He’s been lurking around the house more than usual, and it’s driving me insane.”

“I’ve already got a plan.” I softly laughed, a few seconds of silence went by as I forced the insecurities out of my head. “Thank you, for accepting me, I-I’ll show you I’m worth it.”

“Don’t thank me, it wasn’t something that was given to you,” She explained, starting to walk me back towards teddy. “It’s something you earned.”

“So what was that?” Teddy suspiciously observed.

“She was just telling me how much better I could do”. I teased with a smile. He rolled his eyes, and gave me friendly nudge.

“Goodnight Ryder.” His mom waved, getting into the passenger’s seat of the car.

I waived back as Teddy began to lead me to my own car. “So,” he began once more. “Are you going to tell me?”

“It was nothing.” I laughed. “Mind your own business.”

“You are my business” He teased, blocking the car door. “Spill.”

“It was nothing.” I repeated, beginning to sway back and forth. “She just wanted to make sure I knew that she approved of me.”

His already wide eyes grew wider as he tried to wrap his mind around it. “She did what?”

“Just, never mind.” I let out, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “Come over tomorrow around noon, okay? I have a surprise for you.”

“A surpise?” He repeated in a flirty voice.

“Yeah.” I quickly nodded “A surprise.”

The next day rolled around fast, and before I knew it my grandmother was pounding on my bedroom door. “Ryder!” She shouted. “One of your friends is here, and you still haven’t gotten up yet!”

“Sorry!” I managed out, quickly jumping out of bed and getting changed. Once more I stared at myself in the mirror, my long straight hair managing to overflow the front of my head. I looked at the beanie laying on the counter, and finally decided to throw it on. I think it looks good, I observed taking another quick look before stepping out of my room and walking into the living room. “Oh,” I let out, trying to hide my disappointment. “Hey Blake.”

“Did you forget I was coming or something?” He asked, as I took a seat next to him. “I mean, I’m not intruding or anything, am I?”

“No.” I quickly shook my head. “I just figured Teddy would show up first.”

“That’s why you look so disappointed.” He smirked. “So you honestly think Teddy will forgive me?”

“Yeah.” I agreed. “I don’t think he’s actually mad or anything, I think the whole situations just confusing him or something.” I shrugged, not knowing how to word it. “I think he’s still getting using to not being loved by everyone.”

“He did divide the teams.” Blake observed. “I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that angry before.”

“How do you even remember it?” I teased, rolling my eyes.

“It’s not like I remember all of it.” Blake confessed. “Just the important stuff, and it helped having Liz fill me in.”

“Ahh.” I sarcastically pestered, knowing there was no way he would even know what had happened without being told.

“Ryder!” My grandmother scolded, walking out of my room with an arm full of laundry. “Medicine.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed as she handed me the four medium sized pills in her spare hand. I saw Blake watching me carefully as I went into the kitchen and quickly downed my medicine. “You really are on a lot of meds.”

“It’s not a lot.” I tried to defend. “It’s, look it is what it is.”

“Sorry.” he blushed. “I didn’t mean to be like offensive, just, maybe it was a mistake to make you drink.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, Teddy just can’t accept I’m my own person.” I shrugged, not sure what else to say. “Speak of the devil.” I muttered, hearing another car pull up the gravel driveway. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” He forced out. I don’t know why, but he’s nervous. I mean it’s just Teddy, he’s not scary, is he?

“Ryder?” Teddy called out, slowly opening the front door. “Are you even awake?”

“Right here genius.” I teased, looking over at the door.

He fought off a small smile, and entered the house. “Wow, up before sundown, that’s like a record for you, isn’t it?”

“What can I say?” I shrugged. “I had a cute guy coming over.” Teddy froze as he saw Blake sitting on the other side of the couch. “Surprise!” I teased as his stare shifted towards me.

“Ryder.” he grunted, staring me down.

“What?” I shook my head “You two have to figure it out.” He rolled his eyes, and gave me a serious look. “Do it for me?” I smiled, trying my hardest to keep it light.

“Look, Teddy, I’m sorry.” Blake began. “I shouldn’t’ve made Ryder take shots; it was a dumb thing,”

“That’s not why I’m mad.” Teddy forced out, taking a seat across from us. He took a deep breath and looked over to me. “Hey, you’re finally wearing a beanie.” He began, trying to derail my efforts.

“Yeah.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “I wanted to see how it looked, I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t,”

“No!” he interrupted as I reached up to my head “I like it, I think it brings out your eyes. You should think about wearing them,”

“Guys!” Blake yelped, breaking up our flirting. “Can we please focus? I don’t get it! I introduced you to Ryder. I literally dragged him across the hallway so he would talk to you, and yet I fuck up one night and you’re going to hold it against me for the rest of my life?”

“It’s not like that.” Teddy defended finally getting serious “It’s like you knew how important that party was to me, and drug down Ryder with you anyway. Then to make it even worse, you left him all alone outside with three or four baseball players.” He explained, starting to get angry just thinking about it “And as if that wasn’t bad enough, when I was trying to leave, you supported Mike and called me out in front of everybody. I mean, what the hell man?”

“You know I didn’t mean to do that to Ryder. I had nobody to drink with, you and Liz were driving, and Mike was busy. I could barely even stand after doing those shots.”

“Guys.” I mumbled, gesturing towards the open basement door my grandmother had gone down.

“Sorry.” Blake blushed “But yeah I was out of it just as bad as he was, maybe even worse.”

“Fine.” Teddy grumbled. “That still doesn’t explain what you said to me. Drunken words are sober thoughts.” he whispered, so my grandma couldn’t hear.

Blake’s eyes drifted as he thought everything over. “I was mad at you, what do you want from me?”

“Why?” Teddy frustratedly shook his head. “What could I have possible down to piss you off that much?”

“You left me.” Blake confessed in a low voice. “You knew how hard last week was for me, but where were you?” Teddy slightly bit down on his lip, the way he always did when he started to think. “At lacrosse practice, at the gym with Mike, going on dates with Ryder, working at school on god knows what?!” Blake went to stand up, but I pulled him back down before he could. “I’m always there for you when you need it, where were you?”

A minute or two of silence went by before Teddy finally let out a sigh. “I’m not a mind reader Blake.” he exhaled. “Okay, maybe I’m a dick for not reaching out to you, but I always figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would text me or call me, or hell, just show up to my house.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I’m a stranger.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden,” Blake mumbled. “I didn’t want to get in the middle of you and Ryder.”

“I’m sorry.” Teddy let out, without any doubt. “You’re never a burden. I don’t care what me and Ryder are doing, if you need us, we’re here.” Teddy looked to me, and I quickly nodded my head. “Maybe I should’ve done a better job of making sure you knew that.”

Blake shook his head, and softly smiled. “I shouldn’t’ve been so overdramatic.” he admitted. “We cool?”

“Yeah” Teddy nodded catching onto Blake’s smile.

“Now was that so hard?” I teased, getting up and sitting on the arm of the big chair Teddy was sitting in.

“It wouldn’t’ve even been a problem if you weren’t such a home wrecker.” Teddy teased, pulling me down onto him.

“Stop!” I laughed, as he held me tightly. “There are other people in the room you nut!”

“No there aren’t.” Blake backed off, quickly standing up. “I’m gonna go home, this is, um,” he stuttered, looking over at us one last time .“Yeah”

“Great, now you made him uncomfortable,” I giggled, as Teddy began to tickle me. “What’s gotten into you?” I forced out through growing laughter.

“well that’s his own fault for being close minded.” Teddy teased, looking over at Blake.

“You two really need a course on P.D.A.” he shook his head/ “I’ll see you both later.” He let out, quickly shutting the door behind him.

“Great!” I let out, looking up at Teddy. “Now he totally thinks we’re like gonna do it or something.”

“We’ll if he’s gonna think it,” he provoked, giving me a light kiss.

“Teddy!” I yelped, still laughing.

He kissed me one more time before letting me go. “I’m just kidding.”

An awkward silence filled the room as my grandma appeared at the top of the stairs. “What?” She asked “it’s like someone died in here!” She observed, walking to the counter and grabbing her purse and keys. “I’ve got to run to the store, behave while I’m gone.” She lectured, staring me down.

“We will.” I nodded, as she quickly disappeared out the door. “so, were you still just kidding?” I taunted.

“Ryder.” he smirked, standing up and kissing me. “Get your mind out of the gutter.” He leaned in to kiss me once again, but this time went even deeper.

As his hands began to lower to my waist I couldn’t help but pull away. “Teddy,” I hesitated “I-I don’t know.”

“Oh.” he let out, caught off guard by the sudden change. “Sorry, I thought you,”

“No, no, it’s nothing you did,” I waved off. “Just, I, it’s,” I took a deep breath and looked at him. “I’ve never done anything like this before, I don’t know.”

“Well it’s okay,” He offered, pulling me back in close. “It’s me, I won’t hurt you, or do anything you’re not comfortable with.” He held me for a few more seconds before pulling away slightly, so he could see my face. “When you’re ready, just tell me and,”

I took a breath, realizing I would never be more ready than I am now. I honestly don’t know if I’m okay with letting someone in that close, with opening myself up in that way. I mean, once we do it, I, he becomes so much more than just my first boyfriend, then again there’s no one else I’d rather have that memory with. “I’m ready now.” I interrupting, going back in for a kiss. “Just, go slow.” He gave me another second to think about it before nodding his head.

I carefully led him back to my bedroom, and locked the door behind us. This time we saw one another for who we truly were. No masks, no doubts, no insecurities, just me and him. I was uncomfortable at first, but Teddy has this way of making me feel okay, of making me feel safe. Before I knew it there was no thinking, no doubting. It was as though instinct took over, as though my body was moving all on its own. When it was over I couldn’t help but lay on his chest, just enjoying the moment.

“You okay?” he checked, giving me a light kiss on the top of my head.

“Yeah.” I answered, holding him closely. “I just, I didn’t expect it to feel like this.”

“Like what?” he softly laughed, looking down at me.

I shrugged my shoulders not knowing how to describe the feeling. “I don’t know.” I tried. “It’s just like, like,”

“Like we’re connected now?” he asked, managing to put the feeling into words. “Like we’re finally on the same page?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Like I finally see you for you who you actually are.” I confessed, looking up into his eyes. “but this doesn’t last, does it?”

“I have no idea.” He shrugged, unsure of how to answer the question.

“Okay, but you’ve done it with other guys, and broken up, so,”

“No I haven’t.” He let out, but I could tell he was lying to protect my feelings.

“Teddy.” I pressured in a sigh.

“Alright fine,” he confessed “But no, it never felt like this. This, this time was different.” He laid a kiss on my forehead. “I never loved them the way I love you.”

“You’re not just saying that?” I asked, seeing trouble in his eyes.

“No.” he swore, and for the first time since meeting him I knew he was telling the absolute truth. “Well actually, we only did it once, I think I need to double check just to make sure.”

“Oh yeah?” I giggled as he pulled me even more on top of him. “I guess if it’s for science.”

“yeah.” he laughed. “For science.”

“Ryder.” My grandmother nudged me. “Ryder, wake up” I heard her voice call out. “Today’s the day!” Excitement peaked in her voice as she spoke, as if she’d been waiting for this day as much as I had “Come on, this is it, what you’ve been waiting for since you could walk.”

I forced my eyes open and leaned forward. “Are you sure you can’t come?” I groaned.

She laughed, pleased that it was my first thought of the day. “Sorry dear, but you know I’d never make it in the heat all day.” She lightly grasped onto both my hands and took a seat on the side of my bed. “When you play an indoor venue, then I can come, but for now, show them who you are.”

“I’m nobody.” I mumbled, trying my hardest to wake up.

“That’s a lie and you know it.” She lectured, forcing me to look in her eyes. “You’ll be a household name, one the world never forgets, and it all starts today. You were born for this moment Ryder, never forget that.”

I couldn’t help but smile as she brought me in for a hug. Growing up without parents was hard, but she always made sure I was okay. That I felt loved, and cared for. She was the only one who loved me, and I’ll never forget that. “I’ll make you proud.” I promised, as she pulled away.

“You made me proud a long time ago.” She smiled, and for the first time in my life I could see nothing but happiness in her eyes, as if the weight she had been carrying from raising me had all but vanished.

As I got up out of bed I couldn’t help but hug her again. “Thank you.”

“For?” she laughed, enjoying the moment.

“Everything you’ve done for me, it wasn’t your job to step in and raise me.” I exhaled, letting her go and turning towards my dresser.

“Job?” she asked “When I was younger I thought no one could make me happier than your father, he was just so bright and creative, and then you were born.” She began, taking a seat on my bed. “You are not a job, you’re my grandson, and raising you has been the most amazing experience of my life.” She stood up and gave me one last hug “I love you Ryder.”

“I love you too.” I blushed. I’m supposed to be a rock star, and here I am hugging my grandma all morning! But I guess that’s me, and I’ll never change.

As I looked at myself in the mirror I couldn’t help but feel like something was missing, as if I was missing that extra rockstar vibe. Until finally I noticed the black and white bandana laying on my floor, and wrapped it around my forehead the way I had seen many rock stars do before me. It’s not perfect, but damn, I think it does the trick.

Nothing was more surreal than pulling into the big lot of the PNC bank arts center, and seeing the tour busses surrounding us. “Woh!” one of the guys let out “That’s Escape the Fates tour bus!”

“No way!” I couldn’t help but gasp, and stare at the big white bus near us. Bands I grew up listening to. NO! Bands who I idolized are here! They’ll hear me sing! They’ll watch me perform! This is it! This is my moment!

“There they are!” Teddy’s uncle called out as we emptied the van.

Another man who was standing next to him cautiously stared me down. “So that’s the infamous Ryder Sullivan you keep telling me about.”

“Oh yeah.” Martin nodded. “That kids going to be something.”

“Let’s get through today first.” I nervously laughed, walking up and shaking his hand.

“Jim Nichols.” he introduced himself. “I’m the coordinator of Warper Tour.”

“Oh.” I incidentally let out, realizing how important this introduction was.

“Don’t worry kid; Martin here has already sold me on you.” He nodded, with a friendly smile “I made the call to sign you guys up. Your E.P. was something special, you go out and convince the crowd that, and well you just may be a warped tour staple for years to come.” I couldn’t help but smile and nod, speechless by what I was being told. “For now I think your band needs help unloading their van.”

“oh.” I exclaimed once again. “Yeah, um, it was nice meeting you.” I anxiously shook his hand, before heading back towards the van.

“Man, they don’t make kid’s like him anymore.” I heard Jim observe to Martin.

“Respectful?” Martin asked.

“No” Jim denied. “Honest. I like him. Let’s just hope he’s got what it takes to last in this world.”

Before I knew it our tent was set up, and people quickly began to pour into the gates. Every now and again someone would shoot us a quick dismissive stare, but I didn’t care. Once they see us, I know they’ll be flocking over here. Call it cocky, but for the first time in my life I have faith in myself. I can do this.

“Excuse me.” I heard a familiar voice call out. “can I get your autograph?” I turned to see the Teddy’s peppy face leaning across the table from me and couldn’t help but laugh. “I like the look, bandana’s a nice touch.”

“Thanks.” I giggled, leaning over and giving him a kiss.

“ewww!” Blake groaned, tossing his head back. “Please stop with the PDA!”

“It was just a kiss.” I shook my head, but as I saw his parents standing by I couldn’t help but blush. “Come hang out under the tent.” I waived, showing them to the conjoined red tent behind our booth “This is our base, you guys are welcome to hangout here when it gets too hot, or all day if you want, or if you like some bands and not,”

“You’re starting to ramble Ry,” Teddy giggled. “Just relax and enjoy the music, this is your day.”

“I know.” I nodded, giving him a quick hug. “Hey Brandon!” I called out looking towards my bassist. “Think you can man the booth while Teddy and I,”

“Whatever helps get you in the right mindset.” he cut off, not caring to know the rest of the sentence. “Just remember we go on in thirty.”

“Got it!” I nodded, turning towards his family, Liz and Blake. “Any of you want to come on the walk?”

“I’m good.” Blake quickly answered, as the rest of them agreed with him

“Alright.” I swayed my head/ “Your loss. After you,” I gestured towards Teddy.

“What’s gotten into him?” Liz asked, turning towards Blake. He leaned in and whispered something in her ear, causing her eyes to grow wide. I shook my head at her, and followed Teddy, trying to escape them as quickly as possible.

“You told them!” I yelped, giving him a light push. “And don’t you lie!” I reprimanded, seeing an excuse bubble in his eyes.

“I told Blake.” He corrected. “And it’s not like he didn’t know, he could tell by the way we were acting that something was going to happen!”

“By the way you were acting.” I corrected, remembering how handsy he had gotten that afternoon.

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. “Well you said you had a surprise for me, so I came in figuring that,”

“You’re gross!” I exclaimed in a laugh.

A light blush formed on his face as he thought it over. “For the record, the night you were black out drunk you made a lot of moves on me.” This time I couldn’t help but blush. “Besides it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it wasn’t like I went into detail or anything, I was just, bragging.” He shyly admitted.

“I liked it too.” I bashfully smiled “Anyway,” I began, changing the subject “Welcome to paradise.” The closer we got to the opposite stage, the louder the music got. From the looks of it they were in the same situations as my band, except the crowd didn’t like them at all. Loud boos rained down on them from the hostile crowd, as they tried their hardest to push through it.

“Don’t worry.” Teddy attempted to comfort. “That won’t happen to you.”

“Yeah.” I nervously agreed as doubt began to creep into my mind. I watched the crowd grow angrier and angrier as they slowly began to get into the band’s head.

“It won’t.” Teddy reassured, pulling me along. “I mean look at their singer, he’s just standing there! But you, you like become part of the crowd somehow, I don’t know, I can’t explain it.” He shook his head. “There’s something about you people click with, and that’ll show today, I promise.” As his words connected with me I couldn’t help but calm down. “It’s about time people realize just how special you are.”

“Thanks.” I smiled pulling him in tightly and walking the rest of the concert grounds. “This is so crazy” I shook my head, taking a good look at the growing crowds. “I, I never thought I’d be at warped tour! Let alone playing warped tour! With a boyfriend in the crowd!”

He tried to hide his laughter, but I could tell my excitement was catching him off guard. “I’ve never seen you like this.” I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing how to respond. “I like it.” He let out, landing a kiss on my cheek.

We spent the next few minutes just walking together, enjoying some alone time before the chaos of the day actually kicked into gear. But as we walked back towards Messiah’s booth I couldn’t help but feel my heart beat faster and faster.

“Just breathe.” Teddy comforted, feeling me begin to tense up. “If there’s anyone here who deserves to be up on that stage it’s you.” I nodded, but couldn’t manage any words. “If you get nervous just look to me, I’ll be right here the whole time.” Once more all I could do was nod.

“Give them hell Ryder!” Harry exclaimed, as the rest of the band began to lead me towards the stage.

“Think you got enough cheerleaders?” The lead guitarists teased, looking back at them.

“Whatever helps him prepare.” Brandon spoke up, looking at me closely “Come on, you’ve got this kid, show us why we let you in the band.”

As we walked up the stairs and backstage I could feel my heart jump to my throat, but kept on as though everything was fine. “Jesus Christ kid” My drummer sighed, seeing my hands were too shaky to get my in-ear monitors in “Calm down.”

Brandon came over and helped me manage them before grabbing me by the shoulders and staring into my eyes. “Look, we are all scared shitless, this is the biggest moment in our lives!” he exhaled. “But, we’re in this together. We’ve got each other’s backs. And honestly, without you we wouldn’t be here, we need you to be our leader Ryder, now more than other.”

I nodded and took a minute to myself to recalibrate and focus. “Alright.” I finally spoke, waving everyone in. “This is it guys, this is warped tour.” I took a deep breath as the crowd outside began to roar along with the songs being played over the speakers. “This is where Avenged Sevenfold played, this is where Bring Me the Horizon played, this is where Linkin Park played, this is where A Day to Remember played, this is how they became gods, and now this is where we play, this is where we become gods.” I exhaled, gaining confidence. “They had their chance, now it’s our time. Messiah will be the biggest rock band in music this time next year, and it all starts now.” I nodded looking at each and every one of them. “Lets get it!” They each roared as the music playing through the speakers cut out, and we got the go ahead.

First our drummer headed out, slowly playing a beat on the kick drum, then our bassist and rhythm guitarists. “Let’s rock and roll” our lead guitarist let out before jumping out on stage and holding a deep chord. I took a deep breath and looked up to the sky, please dad, I need you. With trembling hands I took one last breath before burying it all away, and giving in to the music around me.

“What the fuck is up warped tour?” I let out into the small microphone in my hand as I walked out on stage. “We are Messiah,” I saw the crowd pull back as they saw the youth in my face. “You guys ready to kick it old school?” The crowd roared, but I could tell they expected something soft. I couldn’t help but smile at my guitarist as he began to play the infectious rhythm of I’m Broken by Pantera, causing the crowd to explode into excitement. I took a second and looked towards my booth…towards Teddy, before turning back towards the crowd and beginning to scream into the microphone.

The second the first verse came out I felt the crowd roar in excitement, and I knew I had them. Slowly but surely they warmed up to me, and as the guitar solo kicked in I was practically standing half off the stage head banging with them.

“Fuck yeah!” I let out, the last of the song fading. “So you know you’re old shit, let’s see where you stand on your new shit.” The lead guitarist began to play The Pretenders by The Foo Fighters, but I quickly began to wave him off “No, No, NO!” I teased, playing along with the gag. “I’m talking some new shit.” The crowd laughed and cheered along with us, as finally the two guitarists began to play the dueling intro to God Damn by Avenged Sevenfold

“Oh shut the fuck up,” I shouted at the crowd as part of them groaned. “This is some real metal shit.” Before I knew it more of the crowd was roaring than groaning, seemingly impressed by my words. Once more I found myself connecting with the people in front of me. Jumping, dancing, screaming, singing, doing whatever it took to keep them engaged with us.

“Alright.” I exhaled. “Now we’ve done old shit, and new shit, how about we play some of our shit for you.” The crowd hesitated, but still cheered for us. “Yeah I wouldn’t know what to do if someone offered to show me their shit either.” I teased, recognizing I was starting to get repetitive.

Yet just like that the crowd began to play into our hands. We slowly began to roll out original after original, and to our surprise the crowd thrashed and jumped around as though they’d heard them before. Every now and again I would look toward Teddy and smile, but for the most part I was comfortable up there on stage. In front of people just like me, with people just like me.

“Alright.” I breathed, trying desperately to catch my breath. “Before we play our last one,” to my surprise the crowd booed, wishing for more. “Shut the fuck up.” I dismissed, waving them off. “Um, but yeah, since you guys are so desperate to hear more of us we’ve got our debut E.P. on sale under that red tent, with the cute guy selling ‘em. Raise your hand Teddy” I instructed, looking back over to him. “Told ya he was cute.” I teased, as some of the crowd members turned towards him, ironically cheering and whistling.

“Seriously though, he’s been a big part of my life, without him I wouldn’t even be here.” I confessed, still looking at him. “This last one’s for him. This one’s a cover the newest rock song tearing up the charts, Stone Sour’s Song #3.” The crowd cheered the second they heard the popular song. I took a deep breath and let myself sink into the moment, losing myself in it all. The second I began the chorus I couldn’t help but look at him. I tried to make every word as meaningful as possible as I tried my hardest to help Teddy realize how much he meant to me.

A few people in the crowd shot me weird looks, noticing I was singing a love song to another guy, but I’ve gotten those looks a million times before, and now more than ever they don’t matter to me. He gave me the confidence to play this show. He saw potential in me when no one else did, and I’ll never forget that.

For the first time since I started playing music I could hear the crowd singing back to me, bringing themselves into the moment. I couldn’t help but smile, enjoying the last minutes of the performance before the guitar faded out, and radio music began to play over the speakers.

“We are Messiah!” I reminded the crowd, forcing the words out. “ and we’ve got Tommy Walst on the drums, Brandon Seward on the Bass, Joe Nelson on rhythm guitar, Zack Teran on lead guitar, I’m Ryder Sullivan and we will be back.”

As we came off the stage I couldn’t help but feel my heart racing in my chest. “Hell yeah Ryder!” One of the guys shouted, giving me an encouraging shove to the back. “That’s what the hell we needed!”

“Yeah.” I managed, pulling the monitors out of my ear, and quickly heading back towards the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Brandon called out. “Let’s celebrate man!”

“I have to be with Teddy.” I managed still shaking. He rolled his eyes, and dismissively shook his head but I didn’t care. I don’t care what any of them think.

“Rip off the band aid now kid.” He called out. “Relationships don’t last on the path we’re about to take!” I ignored his words and kept pushing, ignoring everyone around me until I finally reached my booth.

“Hey.” Teddy called out, jumping out of his seat and running to hug me. “You did great” He went to pull away but I held him tightly, almost refusing to let go. “Everything okay?” he nervously laughed, unsure what was happening.

“That was the scariest moment of my life.” I finally exhaled, shaking lightly in his hands. “I-I-I,”

“Well it didn’t show.” he comforted, running his hand up and down my back. “I’m serious Ry, you did great.” I took a few more seconds before letting go and turning towards everyone.

“You killed it man.” Blake complimented pulling me in for a light hug.

“Yeah.” Liz supported grabbing me from behind. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Not as proud as me,” Harry joined in, laying his hands on my shoulder. “Now that is exactly how you rock a crowd.”

“Yeah,” I nervously let out “But I still think we need some time as a band before we can actually tour. I don’t know, the crowd didn’t,”

“Don’t talk so soon.” Teddy interrupted, gesturing his head towards a group of teenagers waiting at the table.

“Hey.” I let out, as Harry lightly pushed me towards them. “I-is there anything I can help you guys with?”

“You were awesome!” one of them let out. “Are you guys on Spotify?”

“or youtube?” another let out.

“Not yet.” I shook my head. “We’re still working on that, but we’ve got CDs on sale for five bucks.” Three of them looked around, considering whether to do it or not “I can do three for ten if you want.”

“Yeah knocks five bucks right off the price.” Teddy encouraged. “And, you guys get to say you were the first to buy Messiah’s E.P., and from Ryder Sullivan himself.”

One of them nudged the other, as their eyes connected. “Come on, you saw them, they’re gonna be good.” He tried to whisper.

“Alright.” The oldest of them nodded. “We’ll take three.” I happily nodded, and quickly handed over the CDs as Teddy took the cash.

“Thanks guys.” I nodded, slightly shocked that someone was actually paying for my music. “Now you better get over to stage B, Falling in Reverse is coming on soon.”

“No way.” one of them shook their head. “Beartooth is going to be on this stage in an hour, and we want front row.”

I turned back to Blake and shook my head. “Did you know that?”

“No!” Blake uttered “I mean, I knew they were going to be here, and I was going to slip away to see them, but they’ll be right here!” he yelped, pointing at the nearby stage

As I turned back around I saw a few more groves of teenagers approaching until finally we had a decent line stretching out towards the stage. “Ryder hun” Mrs. Haner quietly leaned into my ear. “Be careful with that three for ten deal, you’re going to lose money quickly on that.”

“It’s cool.” I whispered back. “We’re not expecting to make a profit today, the goal is to get our music out there.” She nodded at my words, and took a few steps back allowing me to tend to the line in front of us.

Before I knew it I felt like I was selling CD after CD, as if what everyone was telling me was actually the truth, that I actually have a shot at making it big. Every now and then I would glance towards Teddy who was taking the money and smile, the journeys starting, and there’s no one I’d rather have along this ride.

“See.” Teddy began as the line finally faded away. “I told you they would love you.”

“They didn’t lov,”

“Did you hear the stuff they were saying to you!” he exclaimed, as a blush filled my face. “They called you awesome, inspirational, funny, hell some of them said Messiah might even be better than some of the major bands here!” I bashfully shrugged, trying my hardest not to get carried away by the excitement. “And you sold forty-five E.Ps! Forty-five!”

“Oh.” I softly let out as I felt my heart slow down. “I mean that’s great!” I quickly tried to switch, changing the look on my face. “Forty-five, yeah that’s awesome.”

Teddy looked back to the others for support, but none of them could tell what was wrong. “We need to sell eighty to get a spot on the tour.” Brandon explained, as he approached the tent for the first time since our performance. “Who knows, maybe people will make their way over once Beartooth comes on, and then,”

“And then Escape the Fate goes on at stage B, and sure Issues is playing over here after, but then I Prevail and Atreyu close it out on the otherside of the lot.” I exhaled, as I realized how quickly things were falling apart. “Unless there’s some type of miracle, it’s over.”

“Come on” Teddy stood up and grabbed me by the hand.

“Where are we going?” I shook my head, as he tried his hardest to pull me out of the metal chair.

“You like the band that’s going on over here don’t you?” He asked as I nodded my head “Then we’re going to get a good spot before they come on.”

“I don’t really feel like,”

“Ryder, you literally haven’t shut up about this band since I’ve met you, I get your bummed, but if there’s one way I know to make you feel better, it’s music.” He smiled. “So get off your lazy ass, we’re going to see Beartooth.”

I looked to Brandon for help, but he shrugged his shoulders and took Teddy’s old seat. “Go, I’ve got the booth covered; you know I hate that pussy metal anyway.”

“Let’s go!” Blake joined in, pushing me from behind. “This is like your one chance to be with Teddy at a metal concert, let’s move before he changes his mind!”

“Alright, alright.” I couldn’t help but laugh, running towards the growing crowd with them. It took some maneuvering, but suddenly we had worked our way through mobs of people and found ourselves up against the silver railing.

Before I knew it I was smiling uncontrollably as the black curtain got pulled down, exposing the Ohio state flag with a big script B embroidered on it. “See, do I know my boyfriend or what?” Teddy teased, reading the look on my face. “Just relax and enjoy the music, everything else will fall into place.” I nodded my head, too excited to talk as a loud guitar began to fill the air.

“How we feeling out there warped tour?” I heard the lead singer shout as he took the stage, and just like that I was pulled right back into the musical world I had just been performing in. “This one’s called Body Bag!” I couldn’t help but jump and down and get lost in one of my favorite songs. This band is nothing special, but fuck they’re a fun band to listen to. Every now and again I would lean over and make sure Teddy was okay, but for the most part he seemed to be holding his own, and putting up with the music he was no doubt hating.

“Fuck yeah New Jersey.” the singer remarked, taking a look around. “It’s no wonder you guys got such a sick set today, how’d you like the openers?” The crowd roared at his words, trying their hardest to push forward towards him. “I liked ‘em too, they got some serious talent around here, especially the band that came on before us.”

“Messiah.” The bassist answered for him as I felt my heart begin to freeze.

“Yeah those kids,” the singer nodded, as I nervously looked up at him. “Now there’s a fuckin band that will keep rock alive, did you hear their Pantera cover? Don’t be surprised when they’ve got the main stage here next year.” He looked over at our tent and nodded “This one’s for them, it’s called Rock is Dead”

Teddy looked to me but I couldn’t manage any words or actions. Did they really just talk about my band? Did they really say that we did a good job? Is he really dedicating a song to us?

“I told you everything would work out!” Teddy shouted over the music. He tried to say something else but the loud music drowned him out. Eventually I reached over and pulled him in front of me, trying my hardest to keep him safe from the mosh pits breaking out around us. Don’t get me wrong, Teddy and me are around the same height, and yeah he’s definitely in a lot better shape than me, but I don’t know, it just felt like the right thing to do.

As the wrapped up their last song and headed off stage Teddy broke free of my arms and made a b-line towards the stairs. “Teddy!” I called out, not sure what the hell he was doing. I watched him quickly maneuver through the crowd, screaming like a maniac at the stage, eventually grabbing the singer’s attention. Some words were exchanged, until finally Teddy was pointing right at me. The singer nodded his head, and let out a dismissive wave before walking back stage.

“It’s cool!” I yelped, as security grabbed onto to Teddy. “It’s cool!” I repeated, holding up my badge. “I don’t know what he thought he was doing, but he’s allowed back there if he wants.”

“I’m good.” Teddy shook off security, turning back towards me. “Let’s go back to the booth, you’ve got another line starting to form.”

The guard shot me an angry look but I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what to tell him. “What did you do?” I sighed, as we got a few steps away from the stage.

“Nothin.g” He laughed, trying his hardest to play it cool.

“I just had to stop them from kicking you out, the least you could do was tell me what you said.” He pushed his lips together tightly and shot me a blank stare. “I thought you said everything would fall into place.”

“It will.” he finally spoke as we reached the booth. “But sometimes it doesn’t hurt to give them an extra push.” I took a second to try and decode his riddle but before I could say anything else Brandon waived me over to work on the short line. It was only ten or fifteen kids, but I guess every bit matters, especially since this is one of the last rushes we’ll get for the day.

“So where are the rest of the guys?” Harry spoke up, as the last of the second wave left. “Partying with the bands?”

“Ha!” Brandon let out, turning around. “They wish. We’re not allowed anywhere near the main dressing rooms. We have about as much clearance as the food venders. They’re probably drinking with the other two opening bands.” He shrugged his shoulders and turned back towards me, “That shout out from Beartooth could go a long way though, we just have to hope the right people heard it.”

I nodded, turning back towards Teddy who was hanging out with Liz and Blake. “I get the vibe it’s going to work out.”

“Dude.” Brandon clicked his tongue, seeing who I was looking at “It’s like you’re a fifth grader in their first relationship.” I shrugged my shoulders, and turned back towards the crowd, refusing to give him a reaction. “I’m serious man, how’d you wind up with a guy like that anyway?”

“Luck.” I finally replied. “He invited me to one of his parties, and it was downhill from there.”

“Was it a sympathy invite?” He judged, incidentally hitting the nail right on the head. “I thought so.” he laughed, seeing the look on my face. “Probably a hundred kids here with the same story. Popular kid went after them because they’re deep and mysterious, only to trade em in when shit gets hard.”

“Whatever.” I shook my head, refusing to look at him.

“The day you two break up will be the best day of your life,” he tempted, looking around to make sure no one could hear us. “Sure, it’s fun now, but when we’re on the road and he’s back at school, it’ll start weighing you down. You’ll do better than him anyway. Models, pop stars, the world will be in your hand.”

I rolled my eyes and stood up, sick of the conversation. “Then I guess I’m lucky that I’m not in this for the fame.”

“Come on man, you know it’s,”

“You know what Brandon?” I snapped, standing up out of my chair “I wonder if you guys even want this. The game plan was to sell the CDs as a band, and yet I’ve been the only one of us here all day.” He hesitated for a second, not expecting me to lose my cool. “You guys need to get serious or we don’t stand a chance.”

“Ry.” Teddy called out, rushing over and pulling me away. “Let’s go for a walk.” He turned back and shot Brandon a nasty look. “What happened?” he asked, making sure no one behind us could hear.

“Nothing.” I lied. “I guess the heat and stress are getting to me.”

“Then just relax,” he smiled, grasping onto my hand. “You’re with me.” I felt a small smile begin to grow on my face as I heard his light laughter. “Better?”

“Better.” I nodded, as we wandered towards the music. If the guys want to make it they’ve got to get their heads out of my life, and into our music. Besides, as far as I’m concerned I already have everything I want. Good music and a good looking guy in my arms. Who knows, maybe it isn’t the end of the world if music doesn’t work out.

 

*Song #3, Stone Sour, 2017

 

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So after reading some past reviews, and speaking with a few people I've gathered together some videos if you guys want to see the bands/singers who've inspired Ryder.

 

First- here's what warped tour looks like: https://youtu.be/GrbCxA3zxa0?t=37s

 

Second- Here are the bands that have inspired Ryder's look or sound. (Most are live videos of concerts with bright flashing lights. Please be careful when viewing if you have any type of seizure disorder.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mobbPE8_Npc -Bring Me The Horizon (Inspired Aesthetic look/ stage presence/emotional lyrics)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EefPcht54c - Marilyn Manson (Inspired overall creativity/ Unique styles)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SueGy-dM_8 - A Day to Remember (Stage presence/ love of fans)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIWeIChes5k - Hellyeah! (What Messiah would sound like)

 

It's important to remember that the best part of stories are the unique interpretation readers can walk away with. Sure, I write it, but just because this is how I see Ryder and his band doesn't mean it's how anyone has to. I just figured it'd be cool to give you guys what his band may sound/look/ act like. You guys are more than welcome to come up with/share what you think Messiah and Ryder would be like! I would love to hear it.