November Falls - 4. Chapter 4 - Brady

My mind keeps flicking back to the other day when I went to pick up my SUV from the repair shop. I had been waiting in the reception area for my car and the invoice. I couldn’t believe my eyes, there he was again – November. Twenty-four years I’ve been pining for this man, all through high school and still now he makes my heart race. He stared at me for two seconds, told me my car would be ready in a couple of minutes and he was gone again. I attempted to apologise for that jackass Paul, but he mumbled something about my car and walked away. Not that I blame him, I suppose, there were not too many people happy to see me at the reunion either. If I knew back then what I know now…

Man, I need to get a job, it’s hard being in this house, my parents’ house. Instead of feeling like a grown man, I feel like a complete failure. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are nothing but supportive of my son and me, they know I’ve got my ass in a jam here. Since we were kids, they only intervened when shit got bad, and really how much worse could this get. Mom and Dad are paying my bills and giving us a roof over our heads; although, knowing how well I seem at fucking up my life at the moment, I guess more could go wrong.

I went for a job interview Monday before I picked up my car, it did not go well, that’s putting it mildly. It was a teaching job at the local TAFE, technical college. The interview panel was less than welcoming, I was so nervous I’m sure I came across as a bumbling idiot, how could I not, I sounded and acted like I was somewhere between drunk and mentally impaired, Brady, get a grip you’re falling part at the seams. I can’t let one little set back get to me; as soon as I get a job, any job, I’ll be able to find a small house.

I’m so lucky that my parents have a business and take their cars to The Chop Shop for maintenance. I managed to get the bill on a thirty-day account, so I have some extra time to pay. Well, that’s not going to happen if I just sit around. I’d already been through the internet sites and nothing in my field – Electrical Engineer – for hundreds of miles. Next is the paper and go through the classifieds for local jobs, Jesus what am I going to do, get a grip Brady.

In the midst of my self-indulgent woe is me bullshit, one job caught my eye, it was a labour job, helping out an auto-electrician for three months, ok not exactly my field, but I’m sure I can get my head around it. Plus I can look for something else, it’s only temporary for three months. The money isn’t too bad either, it would be enough for my son and me to move out of my parent's place, once I pay off the repair bill for the car. The job ad only had a phone number to call no email to send a resume. In this day and age, I find that a little strange but being an auto-electrician it might be a sole trader. I called the number, and a woman answered.

“Good afternoon, The Chop Shop, Mags speaking, how may I help you?”

Oh Fuck! Should I hang up? Shit! Now she’s going to think I’m an incompetent idiot who can’t use the phone. Crap! I haven’t said anything in five seconds. Crap! What is wrong with me lately, earth to Brady, focus!

“Hello… hello,” the woman said impatiently.

“Oh um… Hello!” I should just say ‘wrong number’ and hang up.

“Yes, how can I help you?” she asked impatiently.

“I’m ringing regarding the job ad in the paper?”

“Right, do you have any experience in automotive repairs or electronics?”

“No, not to speak of, but I am an Electrical Engineer if that helps. I’ve just moved back to town and in need of a job. I’m a quick study and happy to do any further education needed. I’m a hard worker…”

“You realise you’re overqualified and underqualified at the same time?” She said with a chuckle.

I chortled, “Yes Ma’am, I do. There aren’t any jobs in my field around, this is a small town, so I’m willing to change my career path.” Man, I sound like a desperate idiot, please don’t let her hear how desperate I sound in my own head.

She sighed, “What’s your name?” Shit!

“It’s Brady, ma’am, Brady Douglass,”

Silence. Crap, I shouldn’t have called.

“Are you still there Ma’am?” I asked nervously, I think she might have hung up on me.

“Yes, I’m still here,” she sighed and was silent again. I was about to hang up when she spoke, “Look, Mr. Douglass, I’m not sure…”

“Please let me just speak with the owner, I guess by your tone you know who I am.” It’s time to go for broke what have I got to lose, “I really need a job, I’ve moved back to town with my son. I have nothing to my name, and I need to work to support us. I promise you I won’t cause any trouble. Please I just need the opportunity to meet you guys and show you I’m worth the chance, I’d be happy to answer any questions or any undertakings in an interview. I know this certainly isn’t the best way to go about it, but please, I’m desperate, I have three-hundred dollars in my account.” I felt my eyes stinging, I’ve gotten myself all worked up. This poor woman is going to think I’m a lunatic.

“Okay,” she audibly sighed through the phone exhausted, “Email me your resume, I’ll think of some way to get you an interview. Be here at ten am sharp tomorrow, you’ll be interviewing with Justin and me. But I’m warning you, your interview will be excruciating, and then you have to get past the boss, and I think you two have some, unpleasant, history. Be prepared to fight for the job because you’re already behind the eight ball. And I warn you if you mess with November he’ll be the least of your problems, you’ll have me all over your ass.”

“I’m not, I wont, I swear to you. Thank you, thank you, so much,” fuck now I’m groveling for work. The money is too good to pass up for a labouring job. The lady gave me the email address and ended the call, I fell back into the chair for a moment feeling like I had just gone ten rounds with 210lbs of velvet glove. I sent my resume straight over to her. Right now I only have to make it through the door without being thrown out. Awesome! Great! It’ll be fine, no problem.

Shit! I’m so screwed.

<>-<>-<>

“Hey Ricky, it’s me, Brady,”

“I wondered when I’d hear from you, how’s it going?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“I’ll be better when I get out of this house.” I sighed.

“Eek, that bad?” I could hear the concern in Ricky’s voice. “Are your folks giving you a hard time mate?”

“Nah, not really,” I said as I fingered a knot in the wood of the table. “It’s just, you know I need to get a place for me and Novy so I can feel like I can breathe.”

Ricky was patiently silent, he’d always been that way. He’d let people think, and say what they wanted in their own time. His Mom was very much the same way with all of us when we were younger.

“There are plenty of two bedroom houses around for rent, why don’t you look for something that will do you at least for now?” Ricky said after I had been quiet for too long.

“At least then I won’t have to see the look in my Dads eyes every time he walks past me; not condescending, more, I don’t know, sad, maybe, concerned. But a place to stay of our own will have to wait until I pay this invoice off for the car repairs. I just feel so hopeless at the moment.”

God I’m such a downer, how can he handle listen to me bitch and moan.

“Ugh! Are you available for dinner tonight, something simple, cheap maybe the pub?” I asked hoping he wouldn’t mind me whining in his ear some more.

“Sure yeah, we can catch up. How’s the job hunt going?”

I fisted my hair in frustration, “I just had the world’s worst interview. I’ll tell you about it tonight. Is it okay if I bring my son?”

“Absolutely, we’ll go to ‘The Yard,’ they have a decent not too expensive menu,”

“Oh good, I wont have to do the dish’s for my meal then.”

Ricky just laughed.

“So six-ish?”

“Perfect, I’ll see you there. I’m sure the interview wasn’t as bad as you think,” Ricky said chuckling.

I scoffed, “Oh trust me I’m glad it wasn’t recorded, it would have gone viral in fifteen minutes.”

He laughed, “See you at six.”

I tossed my phone onto the table and sat in the chair with my hands covering my face. I’ve never been so embarrassed in all my life. I can’t believe I did that to myself, how pathetic can I get, seriously. How far am I going to go, for fucks sake Brady, you’ve never been this much of a dick since high school and that was exclusively to November?

“Hey, Dad,” my son’s cheery voice perked me up a little.

I lifted my head to see him, “Hey son, how was your day?” I smiled warmly, his friend standing next to him looking a little more than uncomfortable. He seemed nervous somehow, I guess I would be meeting a new friends parent also.

He shrugged his shoulder, “Good, school is school. This is my friend AJ, can he stay for dinner?”

“Uh, yeah I can’t see why not,” I stood and shook AJ’s hand, “nice to meet you AJ,”

“You too sir,” he smiled.

“We’re going out to ‘The Yard’ for dinner, can you please ring your parents and ask if that’s okay with them? If it is, I’ll drop you home afterward.” I told AJ.

“Oh sure, no problem, I’ll just…” he pulled his phone from his pocket, pointing and walked toward the living room so he could talk with his parents.

“You okay Dad?” I could hear the concern in my son’s voice.

“Yeah Bud, long day is all,” I smiled hoping he’d accept my answer.

“Okay,” my son observed me like he was trying to see if I were telling the truth.

AJ came back into the dining room, “My folks said it’s fine,” he said smiling. AJ must be a good kid, he looked my son’s age about seventeen and didn’t even blink an eye when I asked him to call his parents. Most kids their age these days do whatever they want – parents be damned. I’d be happy for AJ to hang around; it’s nice my son already has a friend in his first week of school.

I smiled at my son and his friend while I stood up, “We’ve still got a couple of hours before we have to leave why don’t you guys get some of your homework done?”

“Cool, come on AJ we’ll study in my room,” the boys left together to study, and I sat back down and stewed a little longer.

My mind kept wandering back to the interview, what a cluster-fuck that was, I feel sick every time I think about it. I don’t even know why I was so insistent on getting that job; it’s not even really in my field. Maybe I’m excel at self-sabotage? It could be because my brain is so focused on November, for the love of god, I can’t possibly still be in lust… love… who knows, maybe it’s just the thrill of the chase, but what ever it is I have got it bad. It’s not like I really even knew him in high school, I was secretly infatuated with him. November was gorgeous, smart, and sweet, it seemed like his life was so easy, he was gay, out and proud. Well I wouldn’t say that, he was out, the rest I don’t think he really cared about. November went about his life like every other kid, except all I could do was torture the poor guy, and in turn, my entire crowd latched on and made his life a living hell.

I groaned at the thought of how horrible we must have made his life back then. The guy should have decked me the minute I walked through the door for the interview, I deserve it, maybe that’s what I need, him to knock the stupid out of me, what am I cock-drunk or something. November’s eyes, those beautiful eyes, the way they went cold and his whole demeanor changed from friendly to hostile whenever I saw him, I’m such a shitty asshole. I deserve everything he dishes out. If I am going to be living here in this town, for the time being, I would at least like to try and apologise; not that he’d ever let me, but I have too, I was, no am, such a fool.

The lady I’d spoken to on the phone – Mags, she told me when she introduced herself, guided me from the reception area and took me back to a small office. When I entered the room for the interview, she sat down; November was talking with another guy I’d recognised from high school. I think he was in my brother Cameron’s year, well at least Cameron has his shit together now, I don’t get it, but Jeez, Cammie and I were total arses in High School. Mags told me to take a seat and then she cleared her throat, November and Justin – I found out later – turned their heads to look at me.

Justin started laughing humourlessly and shaking his head. November stood from his chair, I’d seen that look in his eyes before, too often, and it was all down to me, he swore and left the room brushing straight past me. I suddenly stood up, I tried to stop him to apologise but knocked over a glass of water, it spilled over their paperwork. I couldn’t stop apologising while bumbling and trying to help clean it up, and only succeeded in making it 10 times worse. Mags was telling me to stop, she’d fix it. Justin was laughing so hard he almost fell out of his chair before trying to help clean up my mess.

The voice was yelling in my head, your village is calling, they’ve lost their idiot! With a jolt, I’m in the office surrounded in total chaos, Mags was polite, but suggested that I go now, they’d be in touch. I heard a loud crash come from the workshop as I was leaving, it was worse than any walk of shame anyone could dream of. Then just as I got to my car, all I could hear was November’s voice, “BRADY-FUCKING-DOUGLASS, you’re kidding me Justin, right? Fuck’n kidding me.”

Fuck this day!