North Meets South, Worlds Collide - 83. DDMV Damned Department of Motor Vehicles

Christmas, Part One

Sasha came home with Alik who ran to Tony and me hugging us happily and asked us. “You are going yell at me again today?” Sasha’s eyebrows rose slightly.

“You want them to yell at you?” Sasha asked. “Why?”

“Sure,” Alik smiled looking at his father, “it’s how they express love. They only yell for no reason with people they really love.”

Sasha chuckled. “Okay. Ты знаешь, что делать. Вы можете насладиться хорошим русским ужином, когда папа Давид получит дом.” You know what to do. You can enjoy a good Russian dinner when Daddy David gets home.

Alik smiled. “Я чувствую запах борща.” I smell borscht. “Yippy!” He nearly shouted and hurried upstairs.

Sasha chuckled. “It’s one of his favorites.” He grinned at us. “I get yelled for the same reason?”

“Sure, especially when you become that Родившийся Русский!!” I shot back. Stubborn Russian.

Sasha mocked surprise. “Me!? Never!”

“We can take care of the exchange of money now if you want?” Tony smiled. “It will be a digital check from your account to ours. At the DMV, they prefer proof…not always, but I prefer proof to present.” He kissed me. “Back in a minute or two.” He put his arm around Sasha and gave that manly one-armed squeeze that friends, chums, and family give man to man. “We love you, suborn Russian and all. You’re one of our two favorite Russians.” Their voices faded as they went into the computer room. There were six in the house now. Tony’s computer had a bigger memory and ram for when he works. We had one in our bedroom one in the family one in Sasha’s room, one laptop David took to school and even Alik’s room…all connected in our own private network. I could send even a message when dinner’s ready to all of them. Alik never needed the message. He was always down before anybody anxious to eat, whether Tony or I cooked. I was pleased we had settled into a happy and contented household. Alik was now a happy boy completely comfortable with us now. He was home! He spoke to his mother, Tasha, often once or twice a week. I hoped there weren’t problems. Sasha hadn’t said there were. I knew there were about ten million since the rise of the Soviet Government unit it fell apart. The Soviets made it difficult to do it, but it got it done. Now, they were not communist. But it couldn’t be that hard now, could it? Then I heard. “That’s the price! Keep being a stubborn and I’ll reduce it to a dollar!” Tony yelled.

Then Sasha’s voice came loud. “I don’t want to cheat you! Вы большой думмии!!” Ya big dummy. “You've asked below that Blue Book in value!”

“It’s my car, you want it, you pay my price!” Tony said louder.

“Why you so generous?” Sasha asked softer but still heard.

“I just am, and you’re family!” The tone was softer, but he was doing that light strangulation thing he did with Nick, Al, Mike…everyone. Even me when a wasn’t comfortable with clothes and the price of what he bought him and me. It was more grabbing their neck and just shaking them lightly.

I looked down at what I wore. I was still a jeans and t-shirt guy. I still had my Levies, Wranglers, and t-shirt. Tennis shoes! I hurried in my room taking my clothes off and put them in the hamper. The clothes I got were designer, Armani from Milan. They made great jeans…and come on…they feel great and fit well. Easy to put on and they were never hung over a hanger, but clipped by soft clips to save misshaped according to Tony. I got a shirt… “No wires ever!!!” Remember Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest? Tony wasn’t anyway like that. It was hung on a hanger that would also no misshape the clothes. Now the shirt was…I remember the color, it was Mulberry. The reason I remembered was my chuckling was due to…we gay men were in the past called fruits. A fruit in a color of fruit. It was dark purple and not a t-shirt exactly, it had a small collar but not like a polo shirt. It was more comfortable than a t-shirt.

I came out as Tony and Sasha were still talking near the island where the stove and crockpots were.

“…will be taxes and registration and insurance…” Tony looked up and his eyes widened a little. "Jeans night?”

“Sure.” I nodded.

“Anyway, I’ll help you out with that. We’ll get the insurance started now that you bought the car. The title transfer at the DMV, the registration and I need to talk to me working on the house a message. You can see what we’re doing there. We’ll have to take your car. My roadster is cramped for three.”

“They aren’t really backseats, even if you fold up that thingy in the back the seats are this big!” I held my hands a foot apart. “Being the shortest one of the three of us, I’d have to sit there, there’s no leg room.” I then said with an exaggerated Southern accent. “I ain’t a sittin’ back there!”

Sasha chuckled. “No problem, I’ll take you two anywhere you want to go!”

“We’ll take care of the title and stuff first. Then we’ll go to our island.” Tony grinned at me. “Bessinger’s twice in one week, is that too soon for you?”

“Hell, no!” I said happily. “I’d eat it every day if I could!”

“That sounds great!” Sasha grinned clapping his hands in anticipation.

“And when we go to Manhattan…do you have a thick coat?” I asked.

“The ones I had in Russian were too bulky to bring on the ship or plane.” Sasha shrugged.

“You’ll also need a couple of nice suits, both you and David.” Tony nodded. “And Alik!”

“Why?” Sasha asked.

“For one important reason, you’ll be cold if you don’t and the three of you will need if for the shows and Broadway,” Tony said logically. “You want to sit still at a show on Broadway?”

“Has he ever seen The Lion King?” Tony asked.

“Sure! I sent Tasha and Alik a DVD player and money for her to buy some movies.” Sasha chuckled. “Tasha asked if they could be worn out, he watched it so much. He’s seen that.”

I remembered the advertising for this new show when it came out…those props with the animals heard samples of the singing. “Not like this.”

“Hey, Erin’s bringing Peter,” Tony said happily. “He’s about the same age as Alik! We can take him, too!”

“But first is the Rochettes’ Holiday Show! They will be will be spellbound!” I promised.

Then the front door opened and David came in. “One more day of class and I,” he put briefcase and case for his laptop down, “will be here,” he kissed Sasha, “a whole month!”

“Yea!!” Sasha hugged him tightly.

“You won’t mind getting new duds, will you?” I said to David.

David’s face got a look, not understanding. So, we explained it again why. He looked sort of happy, but cautious.

Tony did the strangling thing to David shaking him slightly. “What is it with you three? Mitch was hard to come around, but he did it.” He shook his head. “You and Sasha are millionaires!” He emphasized each syllable. “Mill…ion…aires.” He shook his head again. “Your lives really didn’t change after the money. Sasha still cooks and cleans…pretty damned well, I will add…took and got Alik…I assume you’re still going to the Cordon Bleu still.” He turned to David. “Your tuition is paid and books, law books are easily paid.” Tony grinned. “Guys, when I last checked you had eight and a quarter million dollars…soon to be eight and a half million!” He raised a finger. “And! There is a new company about to go on the market, you’ll make millions and millions of dollars!”

Sasha’s and David’s eyes grew. “What are they selling? What about this company tells you it will sell? What tells you this company reputable?” David asked.

Tony smiled and looked at me. “I think the Delkenzie Company is reputable.”

I nodded. “I think we are.”

“Your company!?” Sasha said surprised. “Selling what?”

“More of those devices, like we gave to you, the translators!” Tony said.

“We pretty well have Russian…and Ivan Belov is doing more input in Moscow!” I said proudly.

“The Raging Russian Bull!? He’s investing!?” Sasha balked.

“The guy that gave Alik the poster and the mask!?” David asked.

“He’s made a lot of money as the Raging Russian Bull. He will be a partner in this!” Tony chuckled. “Which you can be. He’s the most sought out wrestler in Russia and all Eastern Europe!”

I smiled imitating his deep voice and loud a slightly gruff speech. “Мы его хорошие, дорогие и лучшие друзья сейчас!!” We're his good, dearest and best friends now!

Tony laughed. “The point is you can be partners, too as investors! I guarantee these stocks are going to split and split again. You can use those dividends to buy more shares!”

“Wait, doesn’t it work for just English and Russian?” David asked.

“Yours does.” Tony nodded. “But we have people out there who speak several languages adding French, German, Spanish, even the Netherlands. Soon we will have Finnish, Norwegian and even Islandic! Even all the languages of China like Mandarin, Hunaness, Hakka and the dozen languages! We want a translator and a database elsewhere that you select the language on the translator.”

“Doesn’t the new one for Russian have the scanner to translate written English to written Russian?” I asked Tony.

“Yes, it has a screen they can scan anything in English to whatever language they get the language they use.” Tony nodded grinning.

“Wow,” David said quietly. “We’re getting in on the ground floor?”

“You’re getting in as partners! It will be a company with all of us getting ownership.” I corrected. “Which will increase if you put the money you make back in! You can send one to Tasha or two for Egor and family!”

We heard a thud as Alik jumped the last three steps and raced over to David. “Daddy David!”

“Hi, Champ!” David scooped Alik up kissed him, hugging him tightly. He groaned a little. “You are getting heavy. You could skip a meal.”

“Not tonight! Dad made one of my very favorite dishes. Borscht!” He said brightly.

“Never had it. It’s really good?” David asked.

“He makes the best!!” Alik said confidently.

“Алик, ты знаешь, что не надо бегать и прыгать в доме..” Alik, you know you shouldn’t run and jump in the house. Sasha scolded softly.

Alik frowned. “Извините, пожалуйста.” I’m sorry.

(To save me from Carpal tunnel. We all spoke Russian for a while.)

“He loves me and excited to see me,” David said as Alik nodded quickly

“Sure.” He ruffled his son’s hair. He glanced at his watch. “Well, dinner starts in about an hour. Set the table, energetic one, please?”

Alik was let down and he got the napkins, knives, and forks from the drawer. “Uncle Mitch, why is it that you set your forks on the left, you and Uncle Tony don’t, but I see Daddy David, the teachers at school switch forks to theirs to right?”

“I think when the colonists came from England, they wanted to separate from England as much as possible so they switched to other customs including eating.” I shrugged and smiled. “There’s a great story about that called,” I switched to English as I didn’t know the Russian words, “Gulliver’s Travels and one of the four stories and the most popular is about Lilliput and Blefuscu.” I went back to Russian. “Those two countries were at war because one broke the eggs on the bottom and the other broke the eggs on the top.” I chuckled.

“That’s silly! Who cares?” Alik asked.

“It’s supposed to be silly, a parody to show how silly people can be with for the silliest reasons.”

Tony came over to me kissing me. “I’m glad Sasha’ speaking Russian more now with Alik.”

“To keep Alik Russian.” I nodded.

“No! To keep me from losing what I’ve learned!” Tony chuckled.

It wasn’t long before he got the bowls Alik knew we’d use and dished out the borscht steaming hot filling the room with the wonderful smell. He opened the other and the roast smelled like a roast. What was Russian about this roast? Then I saw the sour cream. Sasha put some on the slices of roast. They used sour cream in many dishes. Alik and David were putting the plates and bowls. Sasha looked at Alik who was already digging in the borscht and blowing it as he must have done many, many times.

“And know this, like I told Mitch. There’s plenty of vegetables, carrots, peas, potatoes in this.” He smiled. “Oh! The Olivie Salad!” He got up and went to the refrigerator and brought it to the table. “Created by Lucien Olivier. It does not have olives and favored in Russia and all of East Europe now.” He brought the extra bowls and the salad. “Dig in!”

The borscht he made was really thicker than a stew, the slight purple shade was bit odd, but it smelled really good.

“Damn, Sasha!” David looked like he really was enjoying his. “This is delicious! You’re in real trouble now.”

“Why is that?” Sasha chuckled.

“You’re going have to make it again! And again!” David claimed pulling Sasha toward him kissing him.

Dinner was great, but Alik went to bed as did David so he could take his last trip to school in the morning, again Sasha quickly followed.

In our room, we got ready for bed. We had somethings to do in the morning and we needed to get home so Sasha could pick up Alik and David got home. But we always made time to love.

In the morning, the usual departures. David at six, Alik at seven. Tony and I ate more of the Italian Breakfast Casserole.

“Normally, I don’t eat leftovers if it’s not good.” Tony chuckled with his fork to his plate. “This is wonderful. You’re still Scottish, but making yourself one hell of an Italian.”

I chuckled. “Naturalmente, e grazie.” Naturally and thank you. I said in Italian.

“Prego.” You’re welcome. Tony leaned toward me kissing me. “I don’t want you to lose who you are becoming a Delveccio. It might hurt Dad.” Tony went on quickly. “You are a Delveccio, never doubt that, but there will be hurt feelings. Think about it more? It’s your decision. I’ll fully accept and support what you decide.”

I smiled at him and kissed him a little more intense. “You are my best friend, lover and my husband. I love you, Tony.”

“And you are my best friend, lover and my husband. I love you, Mitch.”

Sasha returned at about a quarter to eight. “Let’s do this.”

Tony had the proof of purchase and even the new insurance with policy number also paid for. We went to Charleston County Tax Office and paid the tax and for the registration, but were told they needed to see the title transfer.

“We have to get the transfer done and bring it back!?” Tony gaped. “How could this be a scam?? They don’t do that in New York!!” He turned to me. “Do they do that in North Carolina?” I nodded.

“And this is South Carolina!” She said a little smug. “Bring back the title change and you’ll get the registration. Next!”

We walked out and as we were going to the car, I looked at Tony. “You bought my Bronco, didn’t you have to do all this?”

Tony shook his head. “The Bronco Graveyard is a dealership. They verified the insurance, I paid the taxes were paid there, the registration…even my roadster was done at the dealership!” He shook his head. “You people don’t have many valets, not many good authentic Italian Restaurants. Olive Garden.” He spat, I mean really his spit and did that rapid spitting thing to ward off the evil in the air like a bad family member, dirtbag or bad Italian restaurants apparently! I saw his Mama do it. His sister Kathy once.

I chuckled hugging him quickly as we got in the car.

“You know where the DMV is?” Tony asked.

“Yes,” Sasha said dourly. “David took me to get my South Carolina Driver’s License. It will be packed.”

He was right, but he got the paper with his number and letter to tell him when he was up next. Fortunately, they had two rows where…whatever they were called…one side did the licenses for renewal, new and beginners’ permits…the other did things like title transfers, so we didn’t have to wait too long. The proof of sale given, the title changed and given. Then back to where he would get the registration.

The same woman smiled as we came up. She looked at the title and nodded. “Okay, now I need the previous owner’s plate.” She smiled. “If you just discard it could be used in a crime.”

Tony’s right eye narrowed. “You’re doing this on purpose!”

She smiled sweetly. “Am I?” She said in mocking innocence.

I heard Tony growl a little.

“I’ll get it.” Sasha chuckled and patted Tony’s arm.

“You know where the specialized tools…” Tony began to ask Sasha was leaving.

“I thought I needed to know…” he shrugged, “I even know where the special…” he paused, “Лугнут remover to unlock to take the tire off!”

Tony looked at me. “Лугнут? That has to be what I know it is.”

“Lugnut. That’s right.” I smiled.

Tony gave his smirking frown. “Are you still saying you’re not fluent!?”

“I'm getting there, I still have some words to go.” I smiled at Tony.” I’ve added words such as Гаечный ключ, молоток. Wrench and hammer. You did fine with Ivan and Katya and you spoke well last night!”

“You both speak Russian!?” The woman asked shocked.

“We have Russians in the family,” I said pointing over my shoulder toward Sasha. “Sasha is one of them.”

“He speaks it much better than I can. We also speak Italian.” Tony said casually.

“We’re a trilingual family!” I said smiling.

Tony smiled. “You forgot one.” He chuckled. “Mike, Louise, Drew, Erin speak French!”

I nodded laughing a little. “I did forget, four languages. I’ve never had to speak it. They speak English fluently. Maybe I should do that language next.”

“It’s Canadian French. Does that miracle program have that?” Tony chuckled.

“I’m sure! There are millions that speak it. Celine Dion spoke that exclusively as a child and young adult.” I said. “Many don’t speak anything else.”

“I guess we should send a few of the translators with them. Who better to get that language started!?” Tony asked seeing that logic. “I bet you learn it quicker than Italian! Probably in half the time!”

Sasha came back in a rapid walk. He waved the plate Tony had used at us. “Есть.” Got it. He was excited.

I said. “Прекрасно!” Great.

“Хорошо! Давай.” Good! Come on. Tony said at the same time. He looked at the woman. “We go back and forth all the time. Sorry.”

The woman took the plate shaking her head. “That’s quite alright.” She took the plate checked it on her computer. She turned and placed it somewhere below her desk. She handed Sasha one of those cardboard plates dealerships gave when a person buys a car. She handed Sasha the registration. “Your new permanent plate will be mailed to your address.” She now smiled a little more genuine. “Have a good day.”

We went to the car and Sasha put the temporary plate on then stood grabbing Tony in a tight hug. “Thank you, Tony.” He kissed him on the temple. He turned to me and did the same to me. “I owe you two so much.” We got into what was now Sasha’s car. He patted the steering wheel lightly. “My car!” He said more to himself.

“Yes.” Tony smiled and nodded at Sasha’s jubilation. “Now, let’s get this puppy going. I’ll give you the directions.”

Sasha turned with mock irritation. “And you wonder why we have a problem learning your language!? Puppy? Incomplete sentences?”

“Just drive,” Tony smirked.

“We don’t refer to gays as pigeons as you do in Russia.” I chuckled.

Sasha grunted and started the car. We guided him to James Island and to our island. They were still laying that trench for all those different things to the house, but they were much closer. That ugly structure was now flat and they were clearing that away quickly. A man approached looking at us, then smiled as Tony and I got out. Sasha had, too, but hadn’t met yet.

James Matthews shook Tony’s hand and mine. “Good to see you two again. I didn’t recognize the car.”

“That’s because it’s Sasha’s car,” Tony said. “James Matthews, this is a sometimes-crazy Russian marrying into our crazier family…really is a good friend and like a brother before he marries David. Then he will really be family, even if he is already to us. Sasha Ledebev.”

James smiled shaking Sasha’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Sasha smiled.

“I came to tell you, you have the extra week.” Tony smiled.

James chuckled. “That pompous ass called me last night. He said like he decided to let us have the week. I didn’t say I knew, but I knew it was you.”

“I don’t care who takes the credit, just that you have the time you deserve.” Tony smiled. “This time of the year means a whole lot to us.” He looked at his watch. “Okay, we have enough time to have a good lunch at Bessinger’s, a stop at the Starbucks near home and you will have time to pick up Alik.”

“We may even have time to start the foundation before the two weeks!” James told us. “Come back before those two weeks and you’ll see.” He shook our hands again and we got into the car.

They knew Tony and me at Bessinger’s now. We got three Big Joe Porks and three orders of onion rings. There were five giant onion rings in each order. We’d share, but why? We each had enough. We ate with gusto. We went to the Starbucks just a block from the condo. The city of North Charleston wanted to create a trendy, upper class of shops and restaurants on the land the naval base left here. “Hey, they have a new restaurant! Italian from Rome!” Written in Italian. Italian da Roma.

“Not a pizza place?” Tony asked looking back.

“Below that, it said Fine Italian Cuisine. I’m sure they do have pizza, but they should have macaroni and gravy, ziti and all those good foods from Italy.” I chuckled.

“We’ll just see about that,” Tony said about every new Italian restaurant we went to.

He only liked Amici that Sunday we met and went often after that. Bocci’s downtown.

We got back home and Sasha had an hour to go to get Alik. He hugged Tony and me again.

Alik returned with Sasha and he was about to run over but stopped and walked over to us. “Hi, Uncle Mitch! Uncle Tony!” Hugging us. “Dad said I could play Soccer this Spring and Summer!”

“Great.” We both said smiling.

Sasha smiled. “Ты знаешь, что тебе нужно сделать. И начни ту книгу, которую они тебе дали.” You know what you need to do. And start that book they gave you.

“Book? What book?” Tony asked.

“There were several to choose from, I got Twenty-One Balloons.”

“Never read that.” Tony shocked his head.

“I loved that book!” I said happily. “A man in this Explorer’s Club, before they had airplanes and used hot air balloons to travel through the air. He decides to take one around the world and crashes on a very unique island with some different people that some unusual customs and practices.”

“What island? How different are these people?” Alik asked.

“I’m not telling you that, read the book and find out.” I hugged him as he rolled his eyes and went upstairs to begin his homework.

Once when Alik was upstairs Tony turned to me. “I’m not surprised about what you know. I saw that bookshelf with hundreds of books. What Island and what sort of different people?” Even Sasha stepped closer to hear.

I chuckled and spoke quietly. “It’s fiction, but a good story. He crashes on Krakatoa before it blew up sending the blast heard as far as England. He met these families, each from different countries who built unique houses reflecting their cultures. Grand mansions. One day a month they opened each house opened their house as a restaurant for the whole island. They had frequent earthquakes which they barely felt. Their foundations weren’t rock, but diamonds! The island had them in abundance. The cavern they got the diamonds from had plenty, some the size of boulders! When the island blew up, they escaped on this platform giving the lift from a twenty balloons. Our main character one balloon and twenty on the platform. Twenty and one balloons. He’ll love it!”

Sasha shook his head. “How did they get the houses built? Where did they get supplies? Where were the servants for their mansions…”

“Sasha, don’t lose yourself in adult detail. No kid under ten would think about the logic of it. They’ll just enjoy the story.” I chuckled. “I have it on my bookcase in Morgan’s Branch. I’ll show you when we go there for the Fourth of July. I hate libraries because we have to give a good book back.”

“Okay!” Tony smiled. “Any the roast left and great borscht and Olivier salad?”

Sasha smiled nodding. “I’ll heat it up.”

It was a couple of hours later when David came with arms outstretched in triumph. “I’m free!!” He nearly shouted putting his cases down and hugged Sasha and gave him a pretty intense, passionate kiss. David stopped resting on Sasha’s cheek as they continued to hug. “Hi, guys.”

“I’m glad you’re home.” Sasha kissed David again a couple of times. “Are you okay with roast, borscht and Olivier Salad again?”

“We’re having borscht again!?” Alik said extremely pleased at the bottom of the stairs. “Hi, Daddy David!” He walked quickly to David getting his usual hug and kiss.

“Yes.” Sasha nodded. “I would have put it in the freezer if anybody didn’t eat it another day or two, it would start to go bad any longer.”

We had a great night. Only it was Friday, but Alik went upstairs to begin his book. I smiled when he told David and Sasha what I’d told him, he wanted to read the book to find out.

“Thanks for giving him enough to motivate him.” Sasha smiled.

“What do you say to picking out a Christmas Tree tomorrow?” Tony asked them happily.

“But we don’t decorate until after St. Nicholas Day, even if it’s your St. Nicholas Day, which is way too early.” Sasha chuckled.

“If we waited for yours, Christmas Day is right behind it for us. St. Nicolas Day for you is the 19^th, right?” Tony shook his head. “You’ll be in New York then! Or do what you did for the last few years? Are telling Alik to wait!?” He nearly shouted.

Sasha and David chuckled. Sasha shook his head. “Oh, no.”

“We get the tree, put it in the stand to get Alik, Mitch and me excited about what’s coming!” Tony said happily. “We love Christmas!”

David laughed and looked at us. “We love Christmas.”

“Really?” Tony said grinning. “We’ll see. We can take Alik to the Omni to see their great display and tree, and all the companies and organizations that have trees up and compete to have the best tree. And begin the spark of the Christmas Season. Tomorrow, we get a tree!”

To be continued.