North Meets South, Worlds Collide - 85. Adjusting

Gomer Pyle says: "Surprise, surprise, surprise." Do yourself a favor. NEVER attempt to figure me out. It was a bad few weeks. So, I wrote instead of wallowed. The story ends when I'm dead. Which, I'm not obviously. The words and Ideas are real. Daniel fought hard and I won't forget. I love you, Daniel. I always will, but I'm letting you go. Save my place, though! 

Adjusting

I heard the drone of sound from the television on in the living area. Music and voice sounds that merged, yet it wasn’t loud enough for me to make out what was being said. I didn’t know what was being watched. I suspected who it was. Alik was on a schedule and it was late in the morning for him. He would normally be at school now. Things in th e morning just happened and soon, I had to get up as the “call of nature” gave my mind a nudge. Why fight it? It would go from a nudge to a shout if not obeyed. I gently moved Tony’s arm from around me slowly. Not too fast! No, because if he woke up just a little, his arm would tighten if I moved his arm too quickly. It took years to learn that. He wasn’t taking chances of losing me even in his sleep.

Success! I got up and did what I was told by my bladder to do. Tony and I were honest with each other, yes. This threat Tony faced and I would face with him was still on my mind. Dr. Keogh had been very positive about treatment and confident about what results would be. Face it. The McKenzies are fatalists. The negative side of everything was seen first. You can’t really lie to yourself…I tried for a few years, but I always knew I was gay. Lying and denial were different things. The was an elephant in the room. Pretending it wasn’t there wasn’t going to help. My decision was to simply look the situation in the eye and acknowledge this. Tony had cancer. It was big and I was terrified, but Tony needed me to see him through no matter what was the consequence. My thought now was about how I was going to keep my arm around him. Until we got rid of that cancer in him out, he was in danger. I had read on many websites, there were victories! A testimony about a woman with pancreatic cancer had almost no chance of beating hers, but did! She had the worst and fastest cancer, but won. That one. I hoped she still was. Giving people hope was what we did. I also knew that once a person gets rid of cancer they were scanned for five to ten years after it was gone. Relapses happened. I knew this would be something to worry about the rest of his life. These treatment centers applied all parts of a person’s health. Support health wise and spirit wise. Family was crucial and I was that family. David and Sasha, too. The caregiver was also to be supported to help keep the patient encouraged to keep the fight going!! Ignoring it wasn’t an option. Anyone could be at the wrong place at the wrong time and just be gone! I knew what Grandpa meant about life being deadly. Even if you win, you will lose…a little later perhaps, but you will die! This is the last time I mention her, but my sibling just did NOT get it. She was the focus of it all. She didn’t like suffering. She was suffering? Being there wasn’t about you. It was about the person you love. Tony was going to hurt. I had no idea what was coming, but I couldn’t let Tony do it alone! I could never leave him. It wasn’t fair, but it was. Tony didn’t want it. It wasn’t his fault. M love and concern for Tony was more important than how much it hurt me! She never understood that. We didn’t even know if she was alive or dead. I hope, if she is dead, someone cared about her enough to not leave her when the time came.

I sighed and knew I would remind myself all the time. Tony is here! Now! I would make it my daily mantra soon. Think positive!!

Yeah, it was dark in a McKenzie’s mind. No one would want to read my mind and hear arguments. Me versus me. I didn’t want to hear it, but… I flushed. All that while I peed. Again, I reminded myself he was here. Now. Wondering what could or might be was stupid. I was not stupid. The McKenzies didn’t take those extra steps and wallowed. Not me.

The bathroom door opened and Tony shuffled in with a colossal yawn as he came in scratching the back of his head. His eyes were only half open. He wasn’t fully awake yet. A sexier man I did not know. I don’t care if you hear it before. I LOVED THAT MAN. The left corner of his mouth rose in a smile at me. “’mornin’.” He greeted in what was just above a mumble. He did a “drive-by” kiss on the way to the toilet.

I chuckled at him, “Are you up?” I asked. “Or are you going back to bed?”

“Dunno, yet,” Came back as I heard his stream begin in the toilet.

“You don’t know,” I nodded. “Okay, I’ll start the kawffee you’ll be jonesing for, just in case.”

He shuffled back out following the flush, “I don’t deserve you.” He grinned and kissed me harder.

“Yes, you do.” I shrugged. “You love me.”

He nodded, “I do. And you love me.”

“That’s right.”

Dressing in shorts and a t-shirt I walked out and saw Alik sitting, the television was on some cartoon, superhero thing but he was looking down. Reading! Yeah, it blew me away, too. Don’t get me wrong. He was a boy and had energy to burn at times. Sasha and David watched what Alik ate. Sasha wasn’t cruel with it. Alik enjoyed sweets…occasionally. Sasha made many of the cookies, pies and cakes and let Alik have some moderately. As a result and the foundation his mother began Alik was a calm child. Except when told about the Raging Russian Bull. I could see what he was reading, but…

“Where is he now?” I asked Alik removing the fresh coffee from the cabinet.

Alik’s eyes looked up and he smiled at me. “Профессор Шерман над Тихим океаном…” he stopped. “Sorry, English. He’s over the Pacific…”

“Whoa!” I held my hands up in the “time out” position and smiled, “Alik, you’re fine. Just a second. You’re reading in English and telling me in Russian!? That’s great! Do you still have to translate what you read into Russian in your head?”

“Yeah,” Alik sadly reluctantly.

“That’s fine!” I assured. “I do when I read Russian and translate to English to understand.” I gave a shrugging nod, “Agreement with the subject, verb, adverb and adjectives…” I shook my head. “You guys don’t use many conjunctions and articles!?” I growled, “You don't say I’m going to the library. Take me to the hotel. I want to visit my friend in the hospital.” I touched my head with both hands. “I’m have to reconstruct the sentence to understand.”

Alik smiled bigger, “You do?”

“You get faster at it and soon you no longer have to,” I nodded and motioned for Alik to continue, “Go on.”

“He left San Francisco and he had this great basket/cabin in the sky!!” Alik explained excited. “Even his mattress is a hot air balloon! To make up the bed, he just wakes up and it floats to the ceiling!”

I nodded, “That’s right. You understand about why he puts his garbage outside at the front of the basket?”

“Sure!” Alik nodded. “The wind is blowing him around, pushing him from behind. The wind blows the smell forward faster!” He looked at me. “He’s going to have some trouble, isn’t he? That’s why he gets to Krakatoa. He has to set down for repairs, doesn’t he?”

“I won’t answer that,” I grinned.

“You know,” Alik smirked.

“I do,” I got the coffee set up and started the coffeemaker. “To find out, you have to read. Just like I did.”

“But where the island of Krakatoa is from San Francisco is a long way!” Alik stated. “I looked it up. That’s thousands of miles! К северо-востоку от Австралии.”

The name of directions and countries would come, but I just nodded, “That’s right. Northeast of Australia.”

Alik nodded he pointed at me remembering, “Да, вот и все.” Yeah, that’s it.

I chuckled, “You’re doing great! I’m impressed! Really!” I grinned.

“Good morning, Uncle Tony!” Alik greeted as Tony walked in the room who yawned again and just waved.

I read a lot. Now Tony was Eeyore. Winnie-the-Pooh? The gloomy, depressed stuffed donkey who would thank you for noticing him when someone said good morning. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Who knows?” He’d say. He was my favorite. I loved him!! I still do.

“What do you want for breakfast?” I asked Tony.

“Room service,” Tony grumbled in mumbled and then he frowned at me. “Why am I so tired? We didn’t travel anywhere, change time zones…” He slouched on the kitchen island counter. Not his normal manner. “You don’t think…” he touched his chest.

“No!” I said quickly, “I don’t think so!” I said it too quickly and loud. I sighed and pulled him up and kissed him. “Sorry.” I looked to see Alik had returned to his book. I said in a lower voice, “I read about it.” I saw his surprised look. “Don’t look at me like that. I did! You have achalasia. The cancer that hits almost all patients who have achalasia get esophageal cancer most of the time. It’s not a fast-growing cancer.” I explained as his eyes grew. “Would you go into battle unprepared?” I asked. “You are important and I needed to know everything I can about this…” I looked and saw Alik ignored the television, but read, “thing.” I patted my own chest, “We’re Scotsmen! We fight!! I wanted to find the best way to do that. I’m going to mention it to Dr. Keogh, but there are medications you can take over the counter that can numb the nerves of the throat. There has to be a medicine stronger they can use to ease the pain of swallowing.” I looked as his smile grew. The mind was very important. If he thought it might be… “If you want to be sure and ease your mind, we can take you and have it checked out...”

Tony shook his head, “No, we can at least wait until Monday, but…” He kissed me. “Why am I so tired?”

“Post Traumatic Fatigue,” I grinned. “Yesterday was fun! It was also pretty intense.” I looked him in the eyes. “You had it after the Twin Towers attack.”

“How do you know!?” Tony asked surprised.

“You told me! You didn’t sleep for nearly three days after that,” I tapped him on the chest. “And Kathy told me. You would lie down and be back up in an hour and did it night after night until you would collapse. You were released to Kathy ‘s and Al’s care.”

“Al is a doctor! Kathy’s a nurse!” Tony said it to say that was the obvious choice.

“Yes,” I smiled. “I was a cop. After accidents and violent crimes victims and witnesses have this. It’s a kind of Post Traumatic Stress the day after. Smelly guy last night threatened us.” I waved at the couch, “He threatened Alik and we know we both love Alik. It happens.”

“Huh,” Tony nodded and then smiled at me. “You would have made a great cop.”

“I was a great cop,” I grinned. “I have more than enough excitement now.”

The little signal the coffeemaker had to let us know the coffee was done sounded. Tony didn’t need the signal; we could smell it was done. The scent drew Tony like a bloodhound. “Oooh!” Tony said happily reaching for the glass pot. I handed him his favorite tall mug.

“The only room service will be delivery,” I smiled, “There’s Rosey’s Carolina Slam. I think every truck driver, cop, paper boy knows…” I stopped and tilted my head as I thought, “Do paper boys even deliver papers anymore?”

Tony nodded, “We can have it delivered!”

“никогда!” Never! Sasha said following David down the stairs. “Have you seen those guys that eat there!?”

Carolina Slam had been open seemingly forever! A woman in the forties needed to support her family during World War II and she claimed her only skill was to cook. So, she did. At that time the Charleston Navy Base was very busy. She opened her doors at four in the morning! Yes. All the service men, and the women working industry and the base where the men worked. We were at war and the war and war, but we had somewhere to get something to eat. And it wasn’t costly. Anyone going on shift or coming off shift had something they could get. Rationing and all that, Rosey had a solution. That was her name. Now Rosey’s grandchildren and great grandchildren kept the business going. She had to move her business, of course, but kept it going right in the middle of everything. Industry and the base, The base closed, we lived there now, but Rosey’s Grand Slam was still there. Over the decades it grew in popularity with all people that worked as a cop, industrial workers…you get it. They kept it open from four in the morning until one thirty in the afternoon. Now there were doctors, lawyers, politicians that ate there. A new Rolls Royce would park by a beaten and rusty pickup. Equal standing. The kitchen staff came in at two in the morning. Biscuits were made fresh, fritters of all kinds…yep, wiped your mouth. I started drooling, too. Cornbread, doughnuts… stop!!! I’m making me hungry.

“Almost every man that goes in and out weigh over one hundred and thirteen kilograms!” Sasha stated.

“Convert that please,” Tony groused. “I need more kawffee to calculate this early.”

I chuckled, “Two hundred and fifty pounds.” I answered Tony.

“Ivan is one hundred and forty-seven kilograms,” Tony pointed out. “Over three hundred pounds.”

Sasha nodded, “Yes, and all of it is muscle!” He pointed out. “Muscle weighs more and he has to keep up. That’s his job! Maybe,” he pointed out of the condo, “a few need that, but I’ve seen more that don’t.” He rubbed his hands together. “I’m making us Творожные Оладушки.”

“What?” Tony leaned forward a little and asked.

“Syrniki?” I asked Sasha.

Sasha gave a grudging nod, “Kind of.”

Tony shook a scolding finger in my face, “You don’t ever tell anyone you’re not fluent in Russian.” He said loud. Attracting Alik’s attention and smile. Tony was yelling again. I was about to remind him, but Tony’s hand covered my mouth. “Don’t do it.” He let my mouth go, “What is…” he waved at both Sasha and me, “what you two said?”

“Sasha mentioned a cheese pancake,” I waved at Sasha who was laughing. “I asked about a fried cheese cake…”

Sasha nodded, “And it is, kind of.” He waved at the refrigerator, “The batter is ready. I have the dough for the Khachapuri out and ready to beat down and corned beef hash.”

Tony looked at me, “Khach…?”

“It’s a sort of roll, or biscuit…” Sasha explained.

Tony waved at him, “Yeah, I get it.” He pointed at me, but looked at Sasha. “Don’t you fuss at Alik for speaking Russian. Mitch knows Russian because he uses it.” He pointed at Alik, “Until I tell you not to, only Russian to me. Okay?”

Alik smiled bigger at hearing that., “Хорошо.” Okay.

Tony shrugged, “He’s a kid!” He smiled at me. “He’ll be a great teacher. Some of those shows he watches in Russian look pretty cool. Why not?”

“You were determined to make me an American!” Sasha said happily. “How am I doing?”

I shook my head smiling, “You’re doing great!” I raised that finger, “You’re well on the way to be a Southern American of Scottish Descent, soon you’ll learn about being a branch of the family.”

“We’ll be a Scottish, Italian, Russian, Yankee Southern family!” David nodded.

“About the Yankee part,” Tony began.

Knowing he was going to explain he wasn’t a Yankee and why, I nudged him gently, “Later, Tony,” I muttered. “Explain Ellis Island later.”

Sasha’s Творожные Оладушки wasn’t a fried cheese cake. It was really what I’d seen as syrniki. It looked more like what we knew here as a real pancake, buttermilk or other in the United States. They are universal! Every culture and country had them. How I knew this was one of those shows I saw a lady from Russia on a cooking show. Grandma Sveta’s Best Breakfast Recipes featuring how to make “Пушистые яичницы” which were fluffy scrambled eggs and syrniki. It was a game for me. I followed it! Julia Child (the French Chef), Giada De Laurentius or Bobby Flay, a chef was a chef. It was rare for a chef or cook to discover unknown dish. Food was food; recipes were chemistry and preparation. Some chefs found new and other ways to make the same dish. Some people had a talent when they cooked. Sasha had a major talent. I understood most of it, except the measurements teaspoon or grams…temperatures to preheat…Sasha’s pancakes looked like flapjacks I had growing up! Topped with fruit or honey…it didn’t taste right with sweet syrup. Sasha had time now to really cook. He was a chef already, as far as I was concerned. He made some fruit…jam? It was naturally sweet and the fluid dribbled down the sides. There were hot strawberries, grape and apple jams and it was delicious. Most people liked to eat. We’ve come a long way from throwing our kill on the fire or putting them above one of those spits. Everything else evolved from there and we made prepping the kill and consuming it into an art. (Yes, I loved to cook and I loved a few chefs. Tyler Florence could cook for me any time. He was hot.)

I give the impression that it was all good. It was, but…that new perspective on life was always going to be in the background. Again; something was there in Tony. It was now identified as cancer. He had a chance at beating it. Dr. Keogh was very positive about it. The worry thing with Italians was in people from Scotland had it, too. Animals don’t worry about future events coupled with the knowledge of what can happen in that future. I don’t know, I’ve never known about animals getting depressed knowing what will happen in the future. They got hungry and did something about it now. Yes, there were animals like bears, alligators and even squirrels that stored food to access later, but that was instinct. I knew that it could go into remission, but I also knew it came back in some people. In some ways, it was a reminder that our time together was short and finite. That made me appreciate Tony being here even more. I was determined to remember that each time those horrible thoughts came. Grandpa was right. Young people didn’t really appreciate being alive and thought they were immortal. I guilty, too.

We had a great time at breakfast!

It was later when we began sorting through the decorations to get ready to put them on the tree, which Alik was happy to see was now looking more and more like the tree we’d been shown last night. The branches were spreading out and down.

“We’re decorating the tree and then leaving,” Alik said in curiosity.

Tony looked up at nothing and then asked, “Because it’s Christmas.” He shrugged. “It makes the house pretty, smell good and is a reminder of the season.” He sighed. “Santa Claus, Bafana and Ded Moroz are fun, but it’s the feeling that comes with spending time with family and friends. The holiday became more than one holiday for one religion or group.” Tony looked at Alik curious, “Did your mother take you to any church in Russia?”

Alik nodded, “Mom insisted we went to church. Especially then, but that isn’t for another month.”

Tony chuckled and nodded, “Yes, because of the calendar. They still celebrate Christmas using the old calendar.”

“Calendar?” Alik repeated. “What do you mean?”

“Yes, calendar,” Tony was getting mockingly irritated and Alik’s smile grew. “The square box things with numbers to tell you the date of the day.”

Alik grinned a little evilly, “Oh, календарь.” He nodded.

Tony rolled his eyes, “Okay. Календарь. My point is…the Holiday Season has changed over the centuries and it now isn’t just one religion. Christmas for Christians, Rohatsu for Buddhists, Hannukah for Jews, the Solstice…” he sat back a little and looked at Alik. “As a matter of fact, Hannukah is a minor holiday, but you saw the Hannukah Tree yesterday! It’s evolved into a much bigger holiday because of the Holiday Season! Some Jewish homes celebrate Santa and Christmas along with Hannukah,” His voice grew in volume which made Alik smile bigger. “I mean, what did they have before!? The Dreidel Song, Dreidels and that candelabra? The holiday has grown!” He nodded and waved Alik down who was laughing, but Tony interrupted Alik’s protest which Alik may or may not have objected to. “I know, I know…that one night supply of oil lasted a week! That saved them from invasion. I got it.”

I laughed at Tony. I could see him talking to Nick when he was a baby and a child. It explained how Nick turned out so well. I could imagine Angelo doing it to Tony.

“I don’t know about Bodhi Day for Buddhists,” Tony said animated, making Alik chuckle. “Solstice is celebrated but other religions and Christmas with Santa, Bafana and Ded Moroz is for everyone, including atheists.” He stopped and looked at Alik, “Where was I going with this?” His face lit up. “Oh, yes!” He looked at Alik and smiled, “We say Christmas, the Holiday Season. And they all started to merge. The calendar changed AFTER some traditions were in place both religiously and secularly.”

“Secularly?” Alik’s eyebrows came together and he didn’t know what Tony meant.

Tony snapped his fingers at me and Sasha, “Not religious, but secular is…?”

I shrugged, “I knew what a pew was, but I have no idea what secular in Russian is.” I looked at Sasha. “Sasha?”

Sasha looked up, surprised a moment and then said, “Oh, you want светский. That’s for secular and secularly.” He looked at me and whispered, “You knew церковь скамья!?”

I nodded, “That report we saw on the damage to that church and the news said сиденье. Moscow 24 reported многие скамьи были повреждены ... those old wood pews were damaged in that fire at the Russian Orthodox Church...”

Sasha’s eyes widened and he nodded, “Oh, okay.”

“The calendar used in Russia is the old one,” Tony explained. “I like to decorate my home. We do it together and spend time together as a family. Don’t you like it?”

Alik nodded, “I guess.”

David snickered, “A little confession time, Mitch.” He was unraveling Christmas lights. He jutted his head at Alik, “Tell him why you really hang on to those traditions like Rudolph.”

I grinned and pointed at David, “You, too!” I nodded. “Sure. It’s no secret, but…I become a kid again.” I sighed and smiled at the memories that came back. “Grandma and Grandpa respected Christmas and the Nativity, but had fun with me as a child. Mom and Dad always told me the truth about Santa, but loved to tell stories about him. I think it was Grandpa that got me started with Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, Merry Christmas Charlie Brown and those other animated shows. It’s innocence.” I felt the warmth in my chest as I remembered sitting on Grandpa’s lap. “No matter how hard life can be; for an hour or two…the stresses are just…” I waved my hands out, “gone!” I laughed again. “The world seems a little happier and people went farther out of their way to be kind and polite. Watching the shows and decorating brings those feelings back.” I tapped my own head. “Because I remember.”

Tony nodded at what I said, giving a whole-hearted agreement, “That is absolutely right!” He pointed at me. “Alik, we want to create some damned good memories for you, so when you have your children and grandchildren you can tell them why you do it. You won’t be able to help it!!”

“Right and wrong is sometimes hard to figure out,” I said. “Religions often have the compass needed to figure out if you’re heading in the right direction.” I told Alik.

“You just need a few more under your belt to feel it,” Tony nodded.

There were so many traditions and using the old or new calendar traditions were that important. Alik was too young to miss anything we might have missed. We’d start new traditions for him. We were five big children getting things ready to decorate with. The traditions for the Holiday Season were mostly Winter conditions. Unless you come from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa…all those places south of the equator. Santa was pictured down there on the beach often in shorts or surfing…it was Summer there! I liked the one where Santa in t-shirt and shorts on, but complete with the white beard and hat, held a cute little joey (baby kangaroo) in his arms giving the joey an affectionate kiss on the head. The joey was adorable and clearly loved Santa!! That white beard and hat hid Santa, so I couldn’t tell about that Santa. The memory still makes me smile thinking about it. At least my mental images were of thick sweaters, snow sometimes on the ground and a fireplace blazing where you drank hot Christmas Spiced Tea, Hot Chocolate, ate popcorn and holiday cookies…you know. Home!! Those Courier and Ives Winter scenes just pounded it in deeper. The snow on the ground, the sleighs, homes lit in the background… Everybody has seen them! The hotel we visited the night before…that whole miniature village with the train and snow; that whole display was a Courier and Ives type of display! In 3D!! But it was seventy-four degrees Fahrenheit outside at 2:30pm here. It would drop into the forties over even the upper thirties that night.

Sasha motioned for me and Tony to come over to him, but the way he looked over at Alik, seeing he was laughing with his Daddy-David made Sasha smile, but he leaned toward Tony and me and said quietly, “Tasha is coming to New York this month.”

I grinned hearing Alik’s mother was coming, “It’s about damned time!”

Sasha chuckled, “I know, I know…” he waved a sympathetic hand to stop us. “Whether it was the United States or Russia; it takes a while for the wheels of progress to move. It things go like it should, she will be allowed to stay after she arrives.” He out a cautious hand. “Hopefully, it will be,” Sasha agreed. “She was asking about coming here, but we’re going to New York City, we can meet her and Igor there.”

“Good,” Tony nodded. “Mitch and I need to get to know Igor.”

Igor was Tasha’s fiancé. I shoved Tony gently, “He got the once-over from Sasha. You know Sasha was thorough.”

“Maybe,” Tony grumbled. “But…” he thought a moment, “What do you call a man; Igor,” he pointed away from the condo, “that is marrying my husband Mitch’s,” he pointed at me, “who’s cousin; David,” he pointed at David. Sasha’s eyes grew as Tony went on, “is marrying Sasha’s ex-girlfriend? Sasha is family, so what do we call Igor who will be related to Tasha and Alik by marriage…”

Sasha stated, “Confused.”

Tony grinned at Sasha, “That’s not exactly an answer, or are you saying what you are?”

“Yes!” Sasha threw his hands out helplessly.

I shrugged, “And too specialized for a greeting card.”

Sasha chuckled and shook his head, “To keep Alik calm, I think we need to keep this from him until she arrives in New York City.”

Tony nodded, “Okay.”

“Sasha and Tasha,” I said in gruff rumble smiling and then saw Sasha’s blank stare. Tony smiled at me as he understood. “Oh, come on, Sasha!” I moved my hands to the right, “Sasha!?” I moved my hands to the left and said in a near stage-whisper, “and Tasha!? Tasha and Sasha.” I shook my head. “That has got to be a joke!”