U-N-I - 8. Chapter 8

I sat back down next to Rob and the journalist came over to us and sat on the sofa on the other side of the coffee table, facing us.

"From the look on your faces, I suppose you know I’m not here to interview you," he told us somberly.

"So, what are we here for?" Tom snapped nastily.

He looked at us with a slight smile on his face and opened the folder he was holding in his hands. He retrieved a large white paper and turned it around, placing it in front of us. Rob and I had one look at it and then we looked at each other, defeated.

It was a photograph on which we were kissing, and it was not a friendly kiss.

Rob looked down at the picture and then looked up at him,

"What exactly d'you plan on doing with this?"

"Well, nothing yet!" he replied.

I looked at the picture again. I had no idea when or where it had been taken. We had been careful. We always made sure we were alone or at least around people we could trust before we kissed or touched each other.

It could be pretty frustrating sometimes but I guess it was the price we had to pay to protect ourselves from these people, who despite our discretion, had still managed to corner us.

We didn't say anything for a moment. We felt totally cornered and we weren't really prepared for this. Of course, we knew we'd have to come out at some point - but to discuss it and to actually take the plunge were two different things. We were aware that being outed by the media was a possibility but so far, we hadn't really thought about it that much. We were probably still too innocent to think this would happen. Somehow, we hoped we would just slip through the net. We hadn’t talked much about when or how we wanted to come out but doing it in a paper like ‘The Sun’ was definitely not on our list.

"We 've also got the video footage that goes with it." he told us proudly, pointing at the picture,"So, if you don't want anybody to see this tomorrow in the morning paper, we’re gonna need to talk," he said to us with self-assurance.

Well, that made Rob react.

"Are you seriously threatening to out us tomorrow morning?" he asked the guy resolutely.

Rob glared at him and shot him a poisonous look, and with his eyes, he could give a pretty intimidating one. I could tell that the journalist lost his self-assurance for a few seconds when he met Rob's gaze and saw the look in his eyes. I saw him hesitate and he looked at Rob uneasily, worried about what he might do.

He immediately broke eye contact and looked at me and Tom but saw the same furious expression in our eyes. He seemed to pull himself together very quickly though, the hesitation in his behavior lasting only a few short seconds and he looked at us with confidence again. He was so fucking satisfied, proud and sure of himself, he knew he had us. I was feeling nothing but hatred for this guy and I started wondering how someone could take this much pleasure in destroying other people's lives just to make money. Not that he was going to completely destroy our lives, I'm sure we weren’t the first ones to be blackmailed by ‘The Sun'.

Rob continued staring at him angrily as Tom tried to threaten him,

"You know you can’t do that, we’ll have you sued."

"You can try," he replied with confidence.

I turned to Tom,

"Shouldn’t we refuse to talk to them without a lawyer in the room or something?"

He looked at me and stood up,

"Yeah, we’re leaving!"

Rob looked at him straight in the eye as he said with contempt,

"You're such a bastard. Look at you! Don't you have any self-respect? How can you do this and still look at yourself in the mirror? I’m sure your parents must be really proud of their son."

The journalist immediately turned his head toward the security guard, who started taking a few steps towards us. Rob took a step back and looked at him, letting him know he didn’t have to move from where he was. He didn’t, but kept an eye on Rob.

We walked towards the door.

Before we stepped out, Tom turned to him and asked, a bit resigned,

"What is it gonna take for you not to publish this in tomorrow’s morning paper?"

The reporter was silent for a moment.

When he finally spoke, we weren't too crazy about his answer,

"You can talk to their label and see what they’re willing to do. Or they can sign an exclusivity agreement with us. We will keep this information to ourselves. They can come out whenever they’re ready to do it and they’ll get to name their own terms. We'll publish an article that will be the truth and nothing but the truth."

Rob chuckled and said, emphasizing every word,

"That is never going to happen! Primarily because someone like you and the rag you work for wouldn’t know the truth if it smacked you in the face."

And we walked out the door. We didn’t say anything until we were out of the building and in the taxi.

"Fuck!" I swore. "This guy is the biggest asshole I've ever met, can you believe that guy? Tom, what should we do?" I asked

"Well, I have no idea. I’ve never had to deal with that kind of blackmailing. You obviously don’t wanna sign any agreement with them. So I don’t know. I’m gonna go to BMG right now and see if they can negotiate something with them, buy you some time."

He got out of the taxi to take another one and we went back to our place.

We remained silent for a moment until I told Rob, in a resigned voice,

"Maybe we should just sign their stupid agreement, and then we can just come out whenever we want, on our own terms," I said, but not really meaning it.

Rob just looked at me, perplexed,

"I cannot believe you just said that. No, we shouldn't! They just wanna make money. They want us to come out. And they want an exclusive interview so that they can make as much money as possible out of it. What kind of people are we if we let them use us and manipulate us like that? It'll betray everything we are. It’d be like saying to people that we’re hiding a dirty little secret and that we’re ashamed of loving each other."

"I know, but we’ve always said that we’d come out when we feel ready. And I don’t know if we are."

"Hey, I don’t wanna do this right now, I really don’t. I want as much as you do for our relationship to stay private. I don’t like the idea of having to share it with the whole fucking world but we can't let a tabloid out us or god knows what kind of twisted version of the truth they're gonna write, and that's all people will remember. Most people always believe the first thing they read. And god, there's so many people reading this bloody paper every morning, we just can't let them out us, now or later!"

"But we’ve always said that our private lives are our own thing and I don’t like that I’m gonna have to talk about it and comment on it and answer people’s questions about what’s supposed to be private."

"I know, me neither. I already have paparazzi on my back every day, it’s gonna be even worse if we come out. They’re gonna be after pictures of us together all the time now."

I sighed and looked into his eyes, confused and anxious. We didn't say anything for a few seconds. My mind was racing as I tried to find a way out, but there was none.

Why did it have to be so complicated to be gay? Why did people have to make such a big deal out of it? No one was going to be on the first page of the Sun to say that they were straight, now were they? Why did somebody's sexuality have to be so damn important to some people? It was pissing me off so much that we had to justify ourselves like this. Because this shouldn't even have to be an issue.

I sighed dejectedly,

"Look, I realize we don't have a choice - and I know people are starting to suspect that there might be something going on between us already. But I didn't think we'd be forced to do it so soon. I don’t mind them knowing about us but I don’t wanna talk about it in the media."

"We don’t have to share our relationship with the whole world, you know. We can simply refuse to talk about it in the media or to do interviews where they expect to ask us questions about our personal life. Right now, it is just about telling people that we’re gay and together. It doesn’t have to be more than that, we don’t have to say more than that."

He took my hand in his and I rested it on his thigh as he caressed it, softly brushing his thumb over my knuckles until we arrived at our place. We went straight to Jordan’s place, where he, Dylan and Damon were waiting for us.

We had started explaining the situation to them on the phone but we told them everything that had happened.

"What you gonna do?" Dylan asked.

"Come out, I guess." I said decisively.

"Are you ready to do that? It’s not really a good time," he said worriedly.

"Why not?" Jordan said immediately. "Maybe it's the perfect time. It'll give us more freedom to write a fucking awesome album."

"That people might decide not to buy!" Dylan added looking at Jordan.

Jordan frowned,

"Dylan, we've got plenty of gay fans."

"And we've got plenty of straight fans as well." he added.

"Well if some are stupid enough to do that, then fuck ‘em!" Jordan exclaimed.

"We're about to become huge," Dylan said in a decisive tone, "this could compromise everything, especially in the States. It might completely change the image people have of the band. Our fans will be okay with it, but we still have a long way to go, and most people will stop at the gay thing without even giving us a chance."

"Are you that desperate to break in the States?" Jordan asked, confronting him, "Cause I’m not! Remember what Bono told us, ‘be real, wear your heart on your sleeve,’ well, let’s just do that. If people like it, great, if they don’t, who the hell cares!"

As I listened to him, I knew he was right. But we had talked about this already, we all wanted the band to have a major influence on the music scene in the long run. We still wanted to be around in twenty years, and we were a bit worried that coming out would jeopardize this, because we didn't want to be categorized, to touch only a minority. We wanted U-N-I to touch everyone, we didn’t want it to be limited. We didn't want our homosexuality to be everything about us. It was part of the band's identity, but it was only a small part, not everything that we were. I was worried that people would want to pigeonhole us.

Rob passed his hands over his face and turned around. He walked away, toward a corner of the room, knowing that what both of them were saying made sense. He rested his forehead against the wall and I just stood still next to Jordan, wondering what the hell we were going to do.

We all grew silent, thinking. There was a definite tension in the air and the atmosphere in the room was heavy and electric.

Jordan walked over to Rob. He made him turn around and placed his hands on each side of his face. He whispered something to him before hugging him against him and talking in his ear to calm him down. Rob buried his face in the crook of Jordan's neck and hugged him too as Jordan comforted him and rubbed his hand up and down his back. After a few seconds, Damon joined them and rubbed the back of Rob's neck, talking to him soothingly too. I don't think Rob really knew what to do with himself, he was about to lose it. I was glad they were there for him because I was pretty much in the same state as he was. He needed his friends, I was just as worried and confused as he was.

I think we were really starting to realize what it all meant, especially for Rob. Because the thing was that, even though he and I were in the same boat, we both knew that he would be the one who would have to deal with this the most. Journalists would once again focus their attention on him and he would be the one to be really labeled as gay, he'd be the one to carry this on his shoulders. I'd just be the boyfriend.

At first, that's probably what most people who didn't know much about us would think, because so far, when people heard U-N-I, they heard 'Robbie Myers'! Apart from our fans, people would probably just think of me as 'this guy from the band that Robbie dates'. I knew Rob was afraid of losing people's respect. He needed to know that people liked him, respected him for who he was and he was taking the risk of losing that respect.

"I’m sorry Rob," Dylan told him. "I don’t mean to make you worry more than you already do. I don’t care whether you guys come out now or later, but we should really think this through before you make a decision."

We all looked at each other, realizing the seriousness of the situation, knowing this could have a tremendous impact on our future and that it would probably change a lot of things as far as the band was concerned. I walked over to Rob. Jordan and Damon kind of left me alone with him and went over to where Dylan was standing, near the couch. I took Rob's hand in mine and kissed his cheek. He rested his head on my shoulder and I put my other hand in his hair.

"God guys," Damon started saying, "maybe Dylan's right, it's a pretty big risk to take, I mean, we still have a lot to prove and maybe we should prove it before you come out."

"Or maybe it's not," Dylan sighed, "What do I know?"

I was a bit surprised that he would change his mind so fast. He was usually the one who was the most worried about the consequences that coming out would have on the band.

"Most people suspect anyway," he said, talking to Rob, "and I know you'd love to be able to sing the songs, knowing people know what some of the lyrics mean to you. Maybe the next tour could be the best tour ever because the fans will understand the lyrics and feel like they really know you."

"Hey, make up your mind! What if you were right before?" Damon said, "What if they decide they don't wanna listen to a band with a gay singer and that they won't buy our album or won't come to our gigs."

"Some probably will," Jordan said, "but damn, would you stop! We've talked about this before, if they decide to turn their backs on us, then they're not worth it. But come on, guys, our fans are pretty open-minded, I'm pretty sure everything'll work out fine."

"We'll be doing a great service to the gay community here," Rob said, "I'm sure it could help a lot of gay guys feel better about themselves and who they are."

I knew he had to be right about that. Sure, there were more and more celebrities coming out but I had this feeling that us coming out could do a lot in terms of changing some people's perceptions, because at the end of the day, we were just your average gay guys who you would think are straight if you saw them walking down the street. We were just normal metrosexual guys from an ordinary middle-class, not to mention catholic background, who just happened to like men.

"We're gonna lose fans anyway," Jordan said, "and some people will probably decide not to buy the next album just because you're gay, but at the same time, we're gonna gain a lot of fans too, cool and open-minded ones," he said with a smile.

"Rob," he added, "you've already taken the decision a while ago. Sure, it was easy to say that you'd come out someday when you didn't actually have to do it but right now you're just scared, but the decision, you've already taken it."

I looked at Rob and smiled at him,

"It could be kinda cool to record a new album, feeling totally free to say what we wanna say, and to go on tour, knowing that our fans know."

"Yeah, you actually sing about being gay, it's just part of the band’s identity," Jordan told him, "and I think it's about time you tell people the truth. And it's not like you need to stay in the closet. I know you wanna make sure we're famous enough for this not be an issue but I think we are famous enough!! Aren’t you tired of hiding this?"

"Sure," Rob said in a low voice, "I wanna be honest about this, and I know I have to be honest about this but... it's not that easy."

"Guys," Jordan continued, "they have you with your backs to the wall here, and I'm afraid that if you back out and decide to wait, you might take an even bigger risk. Now that they know, they could just out you whenever they want. Even if they say that they won’t, these people, they are unscrupulous. And if it's not 'The Sun', it might be another paper. Too many people are asking questions. If you do it now, you won't have to worry about this anymore."

"I know," Rob said, "I guess I'm just worried of losing still a little bit more of my privacy."

"We'll finally have the freedom to be ourselves though," I told him. "We won't have to hide anymore. It'd really take a huge weight off of our shoulders."

"Yeah," Jordan said, "you just need a little push. Maybe this is actually a good thing."

"Yes," Damon said, "you might never have the balls to actually do it if no one ever gives you a good kick in the ass," he said with a laugh.

"So, you gonna do this?" Dylan asked after a few seconds of silence.

"I guess," Rob said, almost in a whisper staring into space, "Let's just wait for Tom to give us some news."

We all sat down on the couches and grew silent, trying to weigh the pros and the cons in our minds.

"I have this picture of us on my phone," Rob told me, breaking the heavy silence, he stopped talking and looked down, lost in his own thoughts.

"O-kay," I said, not sure why he was telling me this.

"You know, it’s one of those pics of us you were always taking with your camera during the tour," he said to Jordan. "When we weren’t watching - in case you’d need something compromising to use against us or something."

They both laughed.

"I love it," he said softly.

"O-kay, " I repeated, "where are you going with this?" I asked him.

He took out his phone and searched for the photo. Then he handed me the phone. Jordan stood up and looked at it over my shoulder.

"Oh yeah I remember. I’m a bloody good photographer."

"I thought that if we ever were to come out on social media, I would do it with this picture,’ he explained.

"Just post it on Instagram, with some kind of comment below, then wait and see what happens."

I just watched him and said,

"You were thinking about doing that?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah," he shrugged slightly.

"I never thought I’d really have to do it. But right now, it seems like the right move! I’m not sure I’ll have the balls to go through with it though," he sighed.

I had to admit, it seemed like a good move. It was a black and white picture that spoke for itself. It was lovely. We were sitting on a sofa, kind of cuddling, he had his arm over my shoulders, his lips pressed on the side of my forehead, his eyes staring into space. I had my eyes closed, a slight smile on my lips and I was holding his hand, fingers intertwined.

Jordan took the phone from my hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, my panic instantly rising.

"Just editing the picture a bit," he sat back down and started tapping the phone screen.

After a couple of minutes, he turned to Rob,

"What comment would you have written?"

"I dunno," he shrugged.

Jordan smirked,

"Sure you do, come on, what do you have in mind?"

Rob smiled lightly, and then looked at me, he hesitated and finally said,

"The lyrics to ‘Ink’ I think."

I smiled. This was a sexy love song I had written after getting a tattoo on my hip, that I really didn’t want to release. But they had all insisted, so we had just decided to release it as a B-side, and I had hoped that people would not pay too much attention to it. Unfortunately, our fans did notice it and we had had a lot of requests for it during the tour. We had also noticed that it was one of the fans’ favourites on our message board.

"People don’t really know that song," Damon commented.

"Our fans do!" Rob replied.

"Ok, exactly which line?" Jordan asked.

"Just the chorus, ‘All I know, is that I love you so, so much that it hurts!’"

Jordan smiled and tapped the screen again, typing those exact lyrics.

"Hashtag ‘fuck the Sun’ " he said as he typed.

We all chuckled and he looked at us, raising his eyebrows in a question,

"Ink?" he asked, "so they’ll know what song it’s from".

We agreed.

"Together thru life," I added, which was the tattoo I had on my hip and mentioned in the song.

"Coming out?" Damon added, and we nodded.

"Anything else?" Jordan asked. "Gay ? … no ?"

"There," he said and handed Rob his phone back. "All that’s left to do is to press ‘Share’"

He looked at it for quite a long time and placed his thumb above the top of the screen. After a few seconds, he sighed heavily, letting the phone fall on his lap.

"Fuck, I can’t do this."

"Come on man!!" Jordan insisted, "do it!"

"Christ! This is so nerve-racking!" he sighed again, burying his face in his hands.

"Do it! You know you want to!" Jordan insisted again.

He looked at me intensely and tried to see if there were any doubts in my eyes, but at that instant, I don’t think he was able to see any, because I just knew that whatever would happen, it was something we just had to do.

"Just do it!" I said as well, trying to convince him.

"Are you sure?" he asked me, not breaking eye-contact.

"Yeah, it’s so much better than being outed by a tabloid."

"Yeah, we can’t let ‘The Sun’ win!" Damon insisted as well.

He took the phone again and looked at the screen, but still, he didn’t do anything.

"Oh, come on!!!" Jordan said in frustration and grabbed the phone from his hand.

"Well, If you don’t have the balls to do this, I do!"

Rob looked at him and pleaded,

"Wait, don’t!"

"Why not?" Jordan asked decisively. "Give me one good reason!" he added.

Rob hesitated and said, unconvinced,

"Because of the band!"

"That’s not a good reason!" Jordan replied, shaking his head.

"Does that sound like a good reason to you?" he asked Damon and Dylan who shook their heads no.

He then looked at me, placed his thumb above the screen and asked, "Mark?"

I nodded,

"Just do it!" I answered in a whisper, tired of all this tension and uncertainty.

He looked briefly at Rob again, saw the same doubt and ambivalence and handed me the phone.

"You do it!"

I took the phone and didn’t think twice, I just pressed ‘share’

"Oh fucking hell, Mark," Rob sighed, sinking into the couch, his face in his hands.

"And you’re OUT!" Jordan smiled. "Way to go Mark, I didn’t think you’d be the one to do it!"

"Me neither," I told him as I threw the phone on Rob’s lap and took out mine out from my jeans pocket. Jordan did the same, followed by Damon and Dylan.

"I can’t believe you did it, this was a bad idea!" Rob complained.

"Too late, at least he didn’t chicken out!" Jordan teased him.

"It was a great idea!" Damon, said, trying to comfort him in our decision.

We all stopped talking, it seemed as if time had stopped. We all checked Instagram and after a couple minutes, Jordan said,

"Oh my god guys, comments are pouring in!"

They definitely were. I had a hard time keeping up with them.

Rob sat straight up. "Seriously, already?"

"Rob, we’ve got 12 million followers on Instagram, there’s bound to be a few of them connected," he joked.

"Fuck off, you smart-ass!" he snapped at him.

"Hey, don’t be like that!" he told him nicely.

I started laughing as I remembered what Rob had said during our radio interview in the morning.

"What can possibly be funny right now?" he asked me, a bit aggravated, he was so ill-tempered and irritable.

"What you said this morning about 'A message'… 'Maybe someday, we'll tell you!" I chuckled and added, "Maybe today, we'll tell you!" I said, insisting on the words.

"Oh shit!" he swore. "How was I supposed to know!"

I laughed as he finally looked at his phone again and read the comments as well. We all did, some silently and others out loud. There was a bit of everything, but all were very supportive, since the first ones were from our fans, although there were a few haters of course. Mostly, people were saying the same things, there were a lot of ‘what the fuck’, ‘are they gay?' ‘no way’ ‘Can’t believe it, ‘I knew it’,‘congratulations’ ‘I love you’ ‘I hate you’ and so on,

‘Awesome! They make the most perfect couple. I love U-N-I, so much that it hurts!’

‘Love is Love! I don’t give a shit, you’re amazing, I love your music, the best group in my life’

‘This shouldn’t be an issue, you’re still the same guys! You’re so talented, still a fan’

‘Not shocked that you came out. Just sad we live in a society where you have to come out and not be who you are’

‘They act really straight for gay dudes, is this real? that’s cool though, they’re an awesome band’

‘I must be really dumb because I did not suspect this at all, but I don’t care, this band is PERFECTION!’

‘Congratulations on coming out, welcome to the club’

‘The Sun must have put pressure on them, those evil bastards’

‘Looks like the Sun almost had a field day’

‘Those who post hate comments should be ashamed of themselves. People love who they love, get over yourselves!’

‘This is the most beautiful picture, can’t stop looking at it ! so you are more than friends, you make a lovely couple ! You make the world a brighter place !’

‘I love this picture so much, you’re gorgeous, good on you for coming out to the world, takes balls’

‘I don’t give a fuck whether you are gay or not. People like you deserve to be happy and I hope that you are’

‘Robbie’s so amazing, forever in love with him ! Mark’s one lucky boy. Such a shame for us girls though’

‘Speaking of tattoo, I have ‘Look at the stars’ tattooed on my arm, that’s how much I love you’

‘Some of their lyrics make so much sense to me now, oh my God, this is insane !’

‘Takes a lot of courage to bring it all out in the open, I’m so supportive of them’

‘Doesn’t make any difference as long as you’re happy, that should be the main thing’

‘Myemers is real, I’m so thrilled, I can’t stop jumping up and down’

‘Holly shit, myemers was actually not only happening in our twisted minds, I love it’

‘My heroes, absolutely gorgeous, of course they’re together, beauty attracts beauty and beautiful souls attract other beautiful souls’

‘being gay myself, that just gives me goosebumps, goosebumps, goosebumps, it’s an inexplicable feeling, I love this band, these guys are beautiful and true artists’

‘Ink is such an underrated song ! why is it only a b-side, the best love song after ‘Yellow’. It’s my favorite and most beautiful song written by U-N-I, or is it just written by Mark? probably. And gosh, the chemistry happening between them on the picture, it’s so beautiful, it’s just like the emotions in the song’

‘Just wanted a way of keeping you inside’, ah, I’m in shock, such a great song, good for them’

‘Stunning song, ‘I see your road begin to climb, I see your stars begin to shine, I see your colours and I’m dying of thirst’, this is Mark proclaiming his love to Robbie, I get it now, omg, I’m so proud of them’

‘I wonder if they really have a tattoo that says together thru life then ? I bet Mark does, cause I’m sure he’s the one behind such an amazing song’

‘INK is one of my favourite song, it’s so mesmerizing, I love it even more now that I know it’s about their relationship! I find this beautiful. So much evil in this world, listen to this and change your ways’

‘I’m shocked, I never would have guessed ! Mark’s awesome, I met him after a gig in France and chatted with him in French, he has like no accent whatsoever, I was like WTF ?!’

‘I kinda of suspected Rob was gay but I would have never guessed in a million years that he was dating mark’

‘This is going to lead to a lot of teasing tomorrow, but I’ll support you ! you know what, ‘Yellow is the only song I can truthfully say will almost make me cry, and I’m a straight guy, and I love everything you do !’

‘So proud of their honesty, their next album is going to be fantastic I’m sure’

‘Can’t wait for the next album and the next tour, they are great together, they make U-N-I the amazing band that it is’

‘Rob has often implied in interviews that he was gay, so the news is not a real shocker to me. He should have said it sooner, nothing to be ashamed of, they make such a lovely couple, they are U-N-I’

‘It was pretty obvious if you want my opinion, straight guys don’t look at each other like that, all the smiles and amazing chemistry between them, what is it gonna be like now, can’t wait for the kiss ! #myemers

‘I thought you were only best friends, but like many, I did notice the special bond on stage, hope all of your fans are open-minded enough’

‘I’m a bit gutted but I still love yout music, that’s what’s important, U-N-I is awesome, so many of your songs gets me, listening to you gives me the best feeling ever!’

‘I’m stunned, kind of weird for me to be fans of gay guys but I will totally support you’

‘Anyone else is thinking of Clocks when Robbie sings ‘Am I part of the cure, or am I part of the disease’ you’re definitely part of the cure Robbie, definitely !’

‘Guys, your fans are a great bunch. I met all kind of people at your concerts, m/f, straight/gay, all races and ages, and all share a common bond. We love you’

And so on and so on…

"Oh, this one’s nice," Damon said and read it aloud,

‘‘It must be a weight off their shoulders at last. I'm am so proud of how brave they have been to make the big step to come out. I love U-N-I ! Nothing fake about them, they are sweet, lovely, charming, funny, modest and talented, I absolutely LOVE these guys’

He smiled, "can only make you feel good about yourself! I love our fans!"

I smiled and after a moment, Rob read one with emotion in his voice "gee, that’s deep, have you seen that one? ‘I think you might have just saved my life, thank you so much for coming out’"

"See!" Jordan told him, "you saved a life, if that doesn’t make it worth it, I don’t know what does ! What about that one, ‘Ah guys, being gay myself, this brought a smile to my face, thanks for being honest! You're gonna become the next gay icons! Our generation needs some!"

We kept reading. Jordan chuckled,

"Fuck you, this is sick!" he groaned and made a fist, "I wish I could answer!"

Dylan started laughing and I asked him what he was reading.

"I wonder who’s top and who’s bottom!" he laughed again, reading the comment out loud and shaking his head.

We all chuckled and Damon turned to me. "Yeah, who’s top and who’s bottom?" he said in an inquisitive tone.

I frowned as I looked at him. "Seriously? You’re asking me this?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows. He laughed and shrugged.

"They’re versatile," Jordan answered simply, not taking his eyes off his phone screen.

Damon looked at him with curiosity, "How do you know that?"

"Hey, I’m his best friend, he tells me stuff."

Rob let out a small laugh and added, "You’re not his best friend, I am."

"No, you’re not. You’re the boyfriend now. He comes to me when he wants to talk about you."

"Do you?" he turned to me with a frown.

"Oh come on!" I laughed, throwing my head back, "shut the fuck up, Jordan!"

We continued reading and just hung out together. We called Tom to tell him not to bother. He couldn’t believe that we had done it.

Rachel texted me, ‘where r u guys?’ and I texted her back. A few minutes later, we all turned our heads to the front door when it flung open.

She came in with a friend of hers and just watched us for a couple of seconds,

"You guys came out on Instagram?" she screamed, stunned.

Jordan laughed and exclaimed. "They did!"

"Really? Oh, thank God!" she said, putting her hand on her chest, sounding relieved. "I thought someone might have hacked into your account or something! Why did you do this? What happened?"

Jordan briefly explained the situation to her.

"Oh my god! This is huge, I can’t believe you did this! Everyone at my college is talking about it, I even heard people talking about it on the tube on the way here."

"This is all Jordan’s fault, he made us do it," Rob grumbled.

"Why am I not surprised?" She laughed.

"Somebody had to!" he smirked.

"You ok?" she asked me, sitting down next to me and rubbing my shoulders.

"Yeah, It had to happen someday."

Rob looked at her friend and asked, "So how are people reacting?"

"Well, they're very surprised, like really gobsmacked, everyone was… but no one was insulting you or anything," she replied in a reassuring tone.

"Yeah, but…" Rachel added and hissed, "We are in Camberwell College of Arts, where most of the guys are gay!"

Her friend laughed. "Yeah, sure. They may be a bit more open-minded than other people about this. Congratulations by the way, I still can’t believe you never told me!" she complained to Rachel.

"Hey, I can keep a secret!" she answered, proud of herself, "You know, something else I never told you," she said to her in a low voice, her hand close to her mouth. "I used to date him!"

She told her, pointing discreetly at me with a smile on her face.

Her friend looked at her in surprise.

"Yeah, he dumped me for him."

"Ouch, that hurts!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, it did!" she confirmed.

"Aw come on, you know you’re still my number one girl," I said pulling her closer to me for a kiss on the cheek, and hoping to put an end to the topic.

She shook her head in disbelief, "I can’t believe you did this. Aren’t you freaking out?"

"No, not anymore, we’ve been reading loads of positive comments, I’m not too worried."

"Well," Rob said as he stood up, "I’m gonna call my mum, I don’t want her to find out about this before I tell her. I hope she doesn’t know yet."

"She would've called you already." I told him.

She obviously knew about our relationship. We had told her before leaving for London to promote our first album, or to be more precise, she had made us tell. She sat us down one evening after dinner and asked us, 'What is happening between the two of you?'

We didn't know how to respond so she said, talking to Rob,

'You're different since you've started this band. Mark’s always here now, and whenever he’s not around, you’re not the same, as if you’re a little lost. You seem to be closer than ever, it’s like there’s a stronger bond between the two of you. But I'm starting to think that it's a lot more than a simple friendship.'

And then we knew that she knew. We looked away and she asked,

'Are you lovers?'

At that moment I honestly wasn’t sure if Rob was ready to tell her. But I could not lie to that woman. She had saved my life. I honestly believed that. When she swept a scared child into her arms and laid him in bed beside her own son, she saved me. And she had hundreds of times. Every single night when I needed it, her door was opened to me. There were no questions. There was love, affection, care and concern. There was breakfast. There were clean clothes. And always, there was refuge beside her son. I could not lie to her. So I just told her the truth, and her reaction surprised us. She was very accepting. She told us that she had suspected for a while and that the good thing about it was that she had had time to sort out her feelings. She told us it could be hard to find love and that if Rob and I had it, then she was happy for us. She was worried of course, but very understanding.

My parents, however, still didn’t know, simply because I hadn’t talked to them in four years, and their opinions honestly didn’t matter to me. I just knew it would only give them another reason not to love me.

After spending another hour at Jordan’s, I went back to my place to see how Rob was doing.

I found him in our bedroom, lying on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"You ok?" I asked as I got onto the bed and sat next to him.

"Fine," he answered, in a tired voice.

"You called your mum?"

"Yeah, she’s coming, she’ll be here tomorrow morning, she’s gonna catch an early flight."

I smiled,

"That doesn’t surprise me."

"Maybe you should call Amy, find out if your parents know?" Amy was my sister and she was the only one I was still in touch with.

"If they do, I know how they’re gonna react. I don’t care."

I laid close to him on my back as well, and rested my head on his chest, feeling drained of energy all of a sudden. His presence was soothing me. He didn’t wrap his arm around me like he normally would, and I wondered why.

"Are you mad at me for outing us?" I asked him, a bit worried thay he might be.

He sighed,

"No, I’m just tired - and worried - and relieved. Seriously, I just don’t know how I feel."

"The comments are pretty amazing," I said, trying to reassure him.

"Yeah I know, I was expecting a lot more negative ones."

"Everything’s gonna be fine."

"Yeah," he sighed.

"Why were you so unsure?" I asked hesitantly.

"Afraid of people’s rejection I guess," he said in a whisper.

I shook my head and told him,

"No-one has ever rejected you for this. I didn’t, your friends didn’t, your family didn’t. And your fans won’t either. They might even love you more…."

"Yeah, they’re gonna love you even more." I added with a sigh.

"Sounds like that worries you."

"It does."

"Why?" he asked with concern.

I shrugged. "Is it really stupid that I’m a little scared of losing you?" I asked him sincerely, because that was how I was feeling at that instant.

He hesitated,

"Yeah - why would you be?" I could tell he hadn't expected me to say this.

I sighed,

"You’re Robbie Myers."

He let out a small laugh,

"Not with you I’m not."

"They all love you so much! You’re gonna get even more attention now, and not just from girls anymore."

"So will you."

I smiled and sighed,

"Yeah, we’re gonna meet a lot of guys who'll want more than just an autograph."

He rolled onto his stomach and laid next to me. His hand caressed my cheek and he placed a kiss on my lips.

"Well, they’ll know I’m taken, I’ll make sure they know that. I get to show you off now," he joked.

I didn’t say anything and he just looked into my eyes, his face got serious and he asked me,

"What is it? Are you worried that we might cheat on each other?"

"No… I dunno, maybe. I guess I’m worried that we won’t be able to control everything, this might get a bit complicated."

"They can throw themselves at me all they want, you’re the only one."

A smile swept over my face,

"C'mon I mean… having a threesome together is fun, but I wouldn't - I would never cheat on you, you know that, right?" he asked.

"I know, of course I know that, neither will I. I just don’t wanna share you any more than I already have to."

"Babe, I’d never do anything to hurt you," he told me sincerely.

I placed my hand on the nape of his neck and caressed it. He placed his hand on my forehead and rubbed it a little as we stared into each other’s eyes.

"Hey, you’re the only one who can have me."

I smiled.

"You’re the only one, don’t ever doubt that, you’re the only one." he repeated in a whisper before kissing me.

"I love you." I simply told him.

"I love you more. Without you, all of this wouldn’t even be worth it. We’re in this together, I couldn’t handle all that pressure, I’d be a mess without you. I need you, I need you every step of the way. Together through life, right?"

"Right," I smiled.

My hand slid up into his hair and I pulled him close for a kiss.

He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck and whispered,

"You smell so good!"

"Do I?"

"You always smell good to me."

I knew what he meant, I loved his scent too. It was exciting me, soothing me, making me feel good.

He raised his head to look at me and smiled,

"I kind of see what you mean though, I do wish I could keep you all to myself."

I let out a laugh,

"See!"

"My perfect man," he said, kissing me tenderly again.

"I’m not perfect."

"Yes you are."

He gazed at me and added, "You still don’t believe that, do you?"

I smiled self-consciously.

"That’s ok. That just makes you more attractive."

He gave me a loving kiss as he raised himself up and straddled me. "You are perfect. I love how sweet and modest you are. You look like a model and you could totally show off your body, but no!"

I let out a small laugh and he continued,

"Your skin, your eyes… your lips, you have the sexiest smile, you just have the most perfect features. Do you know how many times I popped a bone just looking at you?"

I shrugged,

"If that’s as many times as I did looking at you, yeah I know."

He giggled and pulled up my shirt. He kissed and licked my nipple and caressed my abs,

"Gorgeous, just gorgeous."

His hand travelled to my waist and he slid his body down as he pulled my pants off. Then, he pulled my underwear down a little to reveal my tattoo and rubbed his thumb over it before pressing his lips against it. He removed my underwear, planted a kiss on the sole of my foot and kissed his way up my leg.

I watched him but closed my eyes when I felt his breath on my cock, waiting for him to swallow me but he just gave it a few gentle strokes. He licked my balls and I shivered with anticipation.

"And you have the best cock. I love sucking on it, I love having it down my throat, I love feeling it deep inside me, I love tasting your cum."

The sound of his voice as he said those words made me groan with desire. He was kissing around my erection, touching me so gently, I was hard as a rock. I so wanted him to plunge my cock down his throat and make me cum but apparently, he had other plans, so I just tried to keep my orgasm in check,

"Fuck Rob, just suck me off!" I begged nonetheless, even though I was pretty sure he was not going to.

He laughed as he slid his body back up and I propped myself on my elbows to kiss him.

He broke away from me and took all of his clothes off, never breaking eye contact with me.

We were both working out often and eating well, which gave better muscle definition to our bodies and I just stared at his toned chest and his defined muscles as they came into view. He knelt on the bed in front of me and I regained my senses.

Before he had time to do anything else, I reached for his cock and held him in my mouth. It was already oozing with precum, so I wiped it off onto my finger and licked it with my tongue.

"Ohh yeah," he sighed.

As I started bobbing my head up and down his shaft, he grabbed my face and pulled me up to kiss me.

We both knelt on the bed and made out, running our fingers through each other’s hair. He placed his hands behind my thighs, grabbed them and made me fall onto my back before reaching for the lube in the nightstand drawer.

"But you know what I love the most about you?" he asked as he poured some on his hand and applied it to my cock.

"Not your body," he said as he leaned over and brushed his lips against mine.

In a low whisper he said,

"You." and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, "Just you, and every little thing you do so perfectly. How you're so natural in everything that you do. I admire that so much about you."

He kissed my lips and then locked eyes with me,

"And the way you look at me, right now, that look in your eyes, I love it."

He shook his head slightly as he told me with emotion in his voice,

"I can't be without you. I can't bear the thought of losing you, it scares the shit out of me!" he pressed his lips against mine again before he spoke, "so don't you worry about losing me. You're my soul mate, I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled. I knew all that, I felt it every day in the way he looked at me, touched me, kissed me, talked to me, but damn, did it feel good anyway to hear him say it out loud at that moment. I stared lovingly at him as he raised himself up, positioned my cock and lowered himself onto it, my length sliding slowly inside him.

"Ughhh yeah, I love that!" he said, taking me down to the base.

He started slowly riding me, his eyes closed, a smile on his face. Still I stared at him. One of my hands roamed all over his chest, cupping his pecs, pinching his nipples as he fucked himself on my cock, moaning and my other hand was wrapped around his hard cock, I found myself wanting it inside me but I couldn't have everything at the same time.

He placed both of his hands on my shoulders to level himself as he started riding me faster, urging me to fuck him. I did my best to meet his pace, giving him short, quick thrust, making him whimper every time I pushed back in. I was jerking his cock hard as well, wanting him to have maximum pleasure. He lowered himself down to kiss my lips and I grasped his face. We kissed passionately, moaning and I continued sliding the top of my cock in and out of him fast.

"Oh yeah baby, it feels so damn good, I love this, yeah, come on, fuck me! I’m all yours!"

I speeded up. He raised himself up and started riding me again, hard and fast. He kept slamming his body on my cock and after a few seconds, he groaned but I didn’t want him to cum yet. I raised myself up and grabbed his chest. My cock slipped out of him and I made him fall onto his back.

I laid down next to him and hooked a hand under his knee. My hand ran down his thigh.

He held his leg up and pressed my cock against his hole, teasing him with the head, and pushing forward a little, while we kissed.

"Ah, yeah, you turn me on so bad, baby," I groaned in his mouth and moaned hard when I pulled his hips to meet me, and impaled myself inside him.

"Oh yeah," he moaned, "you feel so good, fuck me," I raised his leg higher and penetrated him as deep as I could, quickening my pace and fucking him harder and harder. I rubbed his stomach and pecs a lot as I thrust inside him, sometimes giving his cock a few squeezes to make sure he was still on the verge of cumming.

He squeezed his eyes shut and kept his mouth open, letting out small and stifled cries of pleasure. I was all over him, kissing, nibbling, twisting, licking, jerking.

After a few minutes, I started to slow down, until I completely stopped, and slid out of him.

I looked at his engorged penis and quickly lowered myself down and licked the base, up to the head, sucked on it a little and then I looked up at him. He guided me up, placing his hands on my neck. I supported myself on my arms on each side of him and he lifted his legs up, holding his knees. I kissed the hollow of his throat as I started pushing my cock back into him.

His hands slid down my sides and moved down to my ass. He gripped my cheeks and pulled me forward, throwing his head back and arching his back a little as I sank into him. God, that was hot.

"Ohh Rob, you're so hot," I moaned as I kissed his neck.

He sighed and locked his legs around me, driving me even deeper into him and he ran his fingers up my back. His eyes were closed but as I started slowly moving in and out again, he opened them, and placed his hands firmly on each side of my face as he looked passionately into my eyes.

"Mark fuck me hard, I want it hard, fuck that hard cock into me," he ordered.

Oh God, hearing him talk like this was too much. I felt a fire light up inside me and I attacked his mouth with my own, my tongue wrestling with his, feeling him respond aggressively as he pressed his hands on the back of my head and kissed me hard. I immediately started fucking him more vigorously and slammed my cock into him, driving him back into the mattress as he clenched around me and lifted his hips to meet my thrusts.

"Yeah that's it, just like that, fucking pound my ass," he whimpered as we licked each other's tongues and lips.

He pulled me off of his mouth and said again as he looked into my eyes,

"Fuck me hard!"

"Oh God Rob," I moaned as I attacked his mouth again and thrust hard in and out of him.

I grabbed his legs and pulled them up. I placed his feet on my shoulders and leaned forward, almost bending him in half. He slid his hands up and down my arms, feeling my hard biceps and moved his hands to my neck again as I started to hammer into him.

"Yes, fuck me, harder, oh god fuck me, yeah," he repeated as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations coming from his hole and the pleasure caused by me fucking his ass.

God, he was so hot.

He opened his eyes again and pulled my face closer to his and smashed his mouth against mine as I pulled my cock almost completely out of him and thrust forward again, repeating the action more and more forcefully, my balls slamming against his cheeks every time I buried myself into him.

"Yes, yes," he whimpered as he roamed one hand all over my chest and felt my muscles tighten under his touch as I fucked him. He grabbed onto my pec and his fingers searched and pinched my nipple, twisting it away from my chest. God, he was gonna make me cum if he kept this up.

He looked into me with desire, and I was sure that no one but him would ever look at me with that much intensity. He wrapped his arms around me and dug his fingertips into my back, pulling me into him as much as he could.

His ass felt so amazing around my cock, he was tight and he kept contracting his muscles to give me more pleasure, but yet his hole was receiving me easily as I hammered into him,

"Oh you like that?" I groaned, "Take it baby, take my cock!"

"Yeah, yeah, give it to me," he almost wailed as he pulled me into him again.

I fucked him long and hard, jabbing at his prostate, making him grunt and moan loudly, a sheen of sweat soon covering our bodies.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," he panted after a while, "oh god, I need to cum," I grasped his hard slick cock and jerked it in time with my thrusts. He let his legs hang in the air and closed his eyes, letting out high-pitched cries as I pumped my cock hard in and out of him to send him over the edge, feeling my own climax approach too.

"Yeah, I, I'm cumming," he muttered and gasped as his body shook and he shot several powerful thick burst of cum all over himself, landing on his pecs and abs.

I had been holding back to give him as much pleasure as I could, but when he started cumming, I felt my body tense up and just as the remaining jets of cum blasted out of him, he opened his eyes and looked into mine and I asked with passion in my voice,

"D'you want me to cum all over you?"

He breathed heavily and blurted,

"Oh, yeah, do it, show me how bad you want me," he moaned in anticipation, staring up at me with pure lust, a fire burning behind his eyes and I smiled, thinking that we'd sell millions more albums if we put this face on the cover.

I let go of his cock and quickly pulled out of him, knowing I was going to cum hard. I felt my balls tightening and gave my cock a couple of strokes but Rob almost immediately grabbed it and pulled on it.

I let out a deep moan as soon as I felt his hand on me and began to pump my load, spraying and splattering thick ropes of white fluid all over him, feeling like I would be cumming forever. The first glob of cum landed on his cheek and he stared at my cock as he was being showered in my cum. He continued pumping my cock until his chest was covered with his cum and mine.

"God, you're so fucking hot," he said as I tried to come back to reality.

I looked into his eyes and smiled before collapsing on the bed next to him, euphoric, in a sweat and exhausted.

"Fuck, we should come out more often," he joked and I laughed, remembering the very intense sex we had had after coming out to his mother.

He wiped off the cum he had on his cheek onto his finger and placed it on his tongue. I grinned and licked up some of the mess from his chest onto my tongue and leaned over to kiss him. He sucked on my tongue with a devilish grin and our lips met, as we shared our cum in the kiss.

I then cleaned his chest and he spooned himself against me.

"I'm so in love with you," I whispered as I caressed his hair and arm. "I think that’s the most I’ve ever loved you."