Man In Motion - 5. Conjugal Visits

April 12, 1985

New Haven, CT

I finished my last class and practically ran to the Porsche. It was noon, which was still early for a short road trip. I booked down the freeway, anxious to get through New York City before rush hour. It wasn't until I was in New Brunswick that I let myself relax. Only in New Jersey would North Brunswick be south of New Brunswick, I thought with a smile. I was in great spirits. This was the first of our conjugal visits, as I called them, and I had missed Robbie terribly.

Max had been great company. He had moved in with me, at my invitation. I loved having him around, and there was no reason for him to put up with the nasty dorms when I had an extra room. And man did he like to suck cock. I walked around campus and hardly thought about sex, he kept me so drained. Not that I didn't return the favor, I thought with a smile. Thoughts of Max and Robbie kept me in a cheerful mood as I zipped down the highway until I finally got to Princeton.

I drove up to their apartment, thrilled that I'd get to see Ace too. The apartment was on the second floor so I climbed the stairs with my bag over my shoulder, digging in my pocket for the key they'd given me a couple of years ago when they’d first moved in. I opened the door and called out for Robbie or Ace but got no answer. I shrugged and headed to Robbie's room. I didn’t really expect him to be home yet anyway. I opened the door to his room and got a big surprise: there, on his bed, stark naked, was Neil.

“Hi Brad,” he said. “Robbie's not back yet so I thought maybe you and I could have a little time to talk.” He ran his hand down his abdomen and across his dick, and then rolled over seductively. God, he was hot. No wonder Robbie had found him irresistible. But he was playing a game, and I was smarter than that. Robbie would be home in half an hour; he told me that yesterday when we were excitedly planning our weekend. If I fucked Neil right now, we'd be damn near at an orgasm just when Robbie walked in the door. The little shit was trying to set me up, but I was smarter than that.

“Put your clothes on, Neil,” I said, and headed for the kitchen. He followed me there, still naked.

“You don't know what you're missing. I've got the hottest ass in New Jersey.” He took my hand and rubbed it down his crack to his hole and pushed my finger in. I felt him spasm as I entered. I moved my finger around and hit his prostate, making him moan. He did have a sweet ass. He reminded me of Mouse, with an ass that seemed to pulse and throb around objects inside it. He moaned and pushed back onto my finger, but I wasn't falling for his shit. I pulled my finger out.

“You probably do have the hottest ass in New Jersey. You are a hot guy, Neil. But I'm not interested. So go get your clothes on, and get the fuck out of here.”

“You can't throw me out. I have just as much right to be here as you do.” he said petulantly. The bitchy Neil was back.

“Oh no?” I said. I walked into Robbie's room and grabbed his clothes. It was a beautiful spring day and the window was wide open. I tossed the clothes out so they landed on the lawn below. Then I grabbed him by the arm and the neck and forced him to the door. He fought me so I slammed his head against the door, hard. Then he started bawling. I opened the door and tossed him out. He ran right into Robbie.

“You better run downstairs and get your clothes before someone finds your wallet, you little fucker,” I said belligerently.

“He hurt me,” Neil whined to Robbie. I challenged him with my eyes. He was at a crossroads.

“What are you doing here, Neil? I told you not to come over. And where are your clothes?”

“Brad ripped them off of me. He tried to rape me,” he lied. I rolled my eyes. Robbie knew better.

He pushed past the door into the apartment and dragged Neil with him. “Welcome to fucking New Jersey,” he said to me apologetically. He went into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and handed it to Neil. Then he gently pushed him out the door and locked it behind him. “So you tried to rape him huh?” he teased. I was still too pissed to joke about it, but I gave him a smile for his effort.

“Nope. There's only one ass that I want,” I said, and gave him a long, loving kiss.

“Asshole!” I heard Neil scream from the yard below as he grabbed his clothes.

“You want to tell me what happened?” he asked.

“I got here and found him naked on your bed. He tried to get me to fuck him, but I told him to put on his clothes and get out. He argued with me, so I tossed his clothes out the window and threw him out the door and right into you. And there you have it.”

He shook his head sadly. “He hasn't taken this very well. He's been cranky and insecure. And he's doing everything he can to sabotage how I feel about you.”

“I've never known you to be into drama,” I told him. “If he were smart, he'd just focus on trying to make you happy.”

“You offering him helpful hints?” he asked, teasing me.

“No. I want him to fuck up bad, because I want to win. In June, you're leaving this place with me, and he's history.” He smiled at me. “In the meantime, I'm trying not to be pissed off at having to compete for your love, especially with that guy.” His smile faded. Good. I thought I was being really easy going about this whole thing, and found myself getting irritated all over again at the position I was in. I pushed that aside and smiled, remembering that a month ago we were completely separated, and now I at least had part of him.

He put his arms around me and gazed into my eyes. “How about if we forget about him and just enjoy us? Ace is coming home for dinner in a couple of hours, so we have some time to kill.” I smiled and followed him to his bedroom. I was nervously looking for clues that Neil had been there, but there weren't any. I remembered that Ace told me Robbie stayed at Neil's place most of the time.

Then I was in his arms and all thoughts of Neil flew out the open window and dissipated into the breeze. I undressed him, paying attention to each part of his body, and then threw my clothes off and joined him in bed. He was on his side, facing away from me, so I moved up behind him, lodging my hard cock between his cheeks. He handed me the bottle of lube and I put it on liberally, then I pushed into him gently.

“God, I missed you,” he moaned as he thrust back into me, urging me on. “I love to feel you inside me.” I smiled. When he talked like this that meant that he was into it emotionally, as well as physically.

“I missed you too. I dream about you, about being with you, about being one with you,” I cooed in his ear as I worked him with all the love I had for him. I had a pattern for making love to him, starting out slow and sensuously, and then gradually building up to the point that I was slamming into him. This time I wasn't in the mood for slamming so I got up to a medium pace, and then reached around and stroked his dick in time with my thrusts. He started cumming almost immediately, well before I was ready, but I worked his dick and his ass until I blew too. I smiled at this panting, spent hunk, at the way I made his body respond.

He knew my needs too. He collapsed onto his back and pulled me to him. “It's nice to have you here.” I smiled at him.

“I should have done this more. If I had, we'd still be together now,” I said out loud, even though I’d meant to keep that to myself. “I'm sorry. I promise I'll just focus on us, here and now,” I told him. I was lying there, so content, when all of a sudden water started flying into the room all over us.

I yelled and jumped up and we both ran to the windows, slamming them shut. There, in the yard, was Neil, spraying the hose through the windows. Robbie looked at me, worried that I'd go kill him, but it was so pathetic, and so funny, that I just started cracking up, and so did he. The more stuff like this Neil did, the more likely he was to lose Robbie. “The bed is wet now,” he said.

“It was wet before,” I said, and pushed him back into it. “But you get the wet spot.” I lay there on his chest, playing with his chest hair. “I was thinking that maybe for one of our weekends we could meet in New York City?”

“I like that idea. It's kind of expensive though.” Money was a touchy issue for him, because he knew that I knew he spent a lot of his allowance on Neil.

“It's not a problem. I have lots of money. I love to spend it on you,” I teased. “And I don't want to hear about the money I gave you before. I share it with you because I love you.”

“I just don't want you to think that's why I'm with you, for the money.”

“You are such a dumb ass. How long have we been together now? Five years? You even dumped me. If you were with me for the money, I would have figured that out by now.”

“Ya think?” he teased.

“Yeah. Money isn't all that important to you. You just want a big dick in your ass.” He laughed at that, and then we made love again, this time hard and rough, just for variety. We took a shower and were ready in time for Ace to get home.

Seeing Ace was a major thrill. I loved Ace, my best friend and my brother. He had always been the social spark, the one that got things going. We were a great team, because he’d get things started and I’d follow through, making sure we implemented the plan. I heard his key turn in the lock, and then the door flew open and he burst in, only he wasn't alone. Right behind him was with a really pretty woman who had distinctly European looks. She had dark hair, sultry eyes, and big tits, which wasn’t a surprise, since all of the women Ace dated had big tits. I pegged her as being French or Italian.

I ignored her briefly while I gave Ace a big hug. “It’s great to see you!” He told me affectionately.

“It’s great to see you too,” I said, beaming at him. Not wanting to be rude, I hurriedly turned to his woman and introduced myself. “I'm Brad,” I said, shaking her hand.

“I am Bianca,” she said with a sexy accent. I smiled and gave her a kiss on each cheek in the European way, and that got me a huge smile from her.

“Where are you from, originally?” I asked.

“I am from Italy,” she said.

I switched to Italian, one of three languages other than English that I was fluent in. “Italy is a beautiful country. What part of Italy?”

She became effusive, apparently thrilled to find someone who spoke in her native tongue. She was from Rome, and had come here to attend Princeton. It was the strangest thing, but in 15 minutes we had become fast friends.

“You like our humble abode?” Ace asked in English, bringing himself and Robbie back into our conversation.

“Yeah, but you have a problem with the water. It's leaking in Robbie's room,” I answered.

“What? What happened? Did a pipe break?” Ace said, freaking out. I laughed.

“No, we were making love and Neil got the hose out and sprayed water through the window.” We all laughed, although Ace still seemed irritated.

“This Neil, he is horrible,” said Bianca. “I like you much better.”

I watched Robbie recoil at that, but I didn’t want him to start defending Neil so I tried to defuse the situation. “I hope Robbie does too,” I said, and smiled at him. He just shook his head.

We went out to eat at a really nice restaurant, and then Ace and Bianca insisted on taking us to a party. It was really fun, and I got stoned with some Princeton students and gave them shit about getting a substandard education. In fact, we were having a total blast until Neil showed up with a friend. The guy with him was handsome but not stunning. Without too much effort, he could be a biker. Neil saw us and started hanging all over his friend. I'm not into public displays of affection, so he just grossed me out. He basically stood in the corner and rubbed his ass back against the guy, and then when he moved away the guy's big dick was clearly visible through his pants.

I watched Robbie get pissed off, but I put my hand on his shoulder. “He's just trying to make you jealous. If you react, he wins.” He turned to me and smiled, then gave me an affectionate kiss.

“Thanks Brad. I just needed a nudge. That game isn't going to work. Besides, you're so much cuter than that guy.”

“I love you. I really do,” I told him.

“I love you too.” That interaction should frost Neil's nuts, I thought. I glanced over and saw him glaring at us, fire in his eyes. He looked like he was possessed or something.

“I think his plan backfired,” I told Robbie. “Just don't stare at him, only glance.” I was making it into a game, so much easier for him to handle.

“It doesn't really matter. You know what I want to do?” he said.

“No, what?”

He put his arm around me and led me out of the room and the house. “I want to go back to the apartment and stay up all night fucking.” I laughed. It was only a short walk back to his place. Once we got there, we did exactly what he suggested.

April 15, 1985

Princeton, NJ

It was Sunday night, pretty late, but I’d stayed as long as I could. I had a class on Monday morning that I could not miss. I walked out to my car with my bag over my shoulder, sad to be leaving Robbie. It had been a great weekend, a really great weekend. I was more in love with him than ever before.

“So your fun little weekend is over and now you're heading back to Yale, huh?” I heard Neil say in his bitchy way.

“That's incredibly perceptive of you, Neil,” I said calmly. “You're wrong about one thing though. My weekend wasn’t fun; it was amazing.”

I watched Neil recoil at that, as he thought about what my words meant and got really pissed off. “No matter what you do, you'll never be able to satisfy him like I do,” he said.

“I didn't hear any complaints,” I said calmly. “Of course, he spent most of the time moaning.”

“You don't know what he likes, and I do. That's why he'll be in Princeton next year, why he'll be with me.”

“We'll see. In the meantime, I'm having a great time. I'm fucking exhausted.” I was being calm and cool, just like JP. It was bugging the shit out of Neil.

“Ask him. Ask him what he likes,” Neil taunted. “He won't tell you. It's too kinky for you, Mr. Richie Rich.” I saw someone loom up behind him and knew it had to be Robbie. He must have been watching me walk to my car.

I figured the best thing to do was pretend that Robbie wasn't there. “Neil, Robbie and I have been through hell and back. He can tell me anything and it won't change the way I feel about him.”

“Not this. Not what he really likes,” Neil said.

“Shut the fuck up, Neil. Get the fuck out of here,” Robbie said, yelling.

“You don't talk to me like that, bitch. You do, and I won't do what you want.” I saw Robbie swallow hard. “Yeah, you can't do without me. You need me.”

“Neil, you are a twisted person, and you really need to work on your people skills. Robbie can tell me anything and I will still love him. Anything.” Those words were addressed to Robbie. “But I have to tell you, you really are annoying. Next time I see you, you might want to duck because there's a good chance my fist is going to be flying at your head.”

“Robbie would never let you hurt me,” Neil said. “You have to go through him to get to me.”

“Well, he's a stud,” I said, “so I'll just have to catch you alone.” I stared at him, eyeball to eyeball. “Here's something you may want to consider. I've got a lot more resources than you do. If I wanted to run you back to your trailer park in Charlottesville, it would be easy.” His eyes bulged. “Ah, that's right, it isn't a farm; it's a trailer park. You think we didn't know? You think we don't know all about you?”

“Fuck you. You can't hurt me.”

“You ever watch Dallas? JR Ewing is an amateur compared to my father. Keep that in mind.” I turned to Robbie, who had been quiet this whole time. I gave him a kiss, a deep kiss. “Take care, baby,” I said. Then I got into my car and headed back to Connecticut.

April 27, 1985

New Haven, CT

I stood at the door like some love-sick idiot, waiting for Robbie to arrive. I guess that was about right. I was pacing around nervously, so I decided to put the movement to good use: I went to the fridge and pulled out a can of “New Coke.” Coca Cola had just come out with this New Coke thing, changed their famous formula and everything. My marketing professor was going nuts, talking about how stupid that was. “Taking one of the world's most valuable brands and tampering with it is insane,” were his words. I tasted it. It was much sweeter than the old Coke, almost like Pepsi. That was fine with me. I liked Pepsi better anyway.

I resumed my position by the window just as the Jeep pulled up and Robbie jumped out enthusiastically. I loved to just watch him, his form, the way he moved. He walked up to the door and saw me looking out and got a big smile on his face. I threw open the door and he was in my arms, then in my bed, and we were making love, and it was beautiful.

We lay there, enjoying the afterglow, in my favorite position with me on top of his chest. “So what was Neil talking about last time?” I asked him. I hadn't brought it up on any of our phone calls. We talked at least every other night. I just didn't want to spook him.

“Just ignore him, Brad. He's full of shit. Do I look like I'm unhappy when we're together?”

“No, you look pretty fucking happy,” I said.

“I am.”

“So what's the news on admissions to grad school?” I wanted to know where he was going so I could plan to go there too, at least tentatively.

“I think I'm going to make it in here and Princeton. And I also applied to Cal. I think that's my first choice right now. They have a program that would let me spend one or two semesters in Paris and then finish up in Berkeley, and I really want to get back to California.” I smiled. I'd applied to Berkeley too, for exactly that reason.

“You're not going to Princeton?” I asked, smiling. That pretty much meant he was leaving Neil.

“I'm not sure yet.” Why was he being so obstinate about this? Was the decision really that close between us?

“You'd give up California and Paris to stay with Neil?” I saw his eyebrows furrow. I was pushing too hard. “Makes me wonder if I have a chance, if those two places can't pull you away from New Jersey.” I turned it into a joke and he laughed. But there was something there, some hold that Neil had over him. I just didn't know what it was. Yet.

I let it go. There was no point in pushing it and ruining our weekend. We lay there, enjoying each other's company, and then I channeled my frustration with him into a really hard, rough fuck, and he went absolutely nuts. What could Neil possibly do to him that would make him cum harder than that?

We got up, took a shower, and were just about to go out to dinner when the phone rang. It was Stef.

“I hope I am not intruding?” he asked politely.

“It's never an intrusion when you call Stef. Robbie's here. He says hello.”

“He is there? With you? That is good. You must call me and tell me all about it later,” he said, his internal gossip coming out. Then his voice got solemn. “In the meantime, I have gotten some sad news. Yet another death from this horrible disease.”

“Who died, Stef?” Robbie heard that and he was keyed up, totally focused now.

“My friend, well, our friend Marc Sievres in Paris. I guess I knew that if anyone would have it, he would, but it is sad nonetheless.”

“I'm sorry Stef. I know you had a really special relationship with him. Did you tell JP yet?”

“Yes. He is going to the funeral with me. We must leave shortly to get there by tomorrow, but I wanted to call you and let you know before we left.” I thought for a second about going along, but I didn't want to give up my special time with Robbie.

“When will you be back in the US?”

“I think we are planning to fly back on Tuesday, but I am not sure.”

“You will need gas on your way back, even with your plane, no?” I asked. “Can you stop here in Connecticut and have dinner with me?” I knew I was pleading, but I wanted to get their opinion on this whole thing with Neil.

“That would be wonderful. I cannot promise anything, but I will at least arrange for a fuel stopover so we can have a half hour together.”

“That sounds great Stef. Take care. I love you.”

“I love you too, Bradley.”

I turned to Robbie, who was on edge. “Who died?”

“Marc Sievres,” I told him. I saw his expression, saw the reopening of an old wound.

He looked at me and read my mind. “Brad, don't look like that. It was a long time ago. You just had a little fling with him, and in the end, it was worth it. We've had years of great sex, thanks to him.”

“Thanks for saying that. Still, I look back on the mistakes I've made with us, our relationship, along the way, and it really hurts sometimes.”

He smiled. “I made mistakes too. We have to put that behind us. And now, were you going to feed me or is this trip to Connecticut some sort of forced diet?” I laughed and took him out to the same little Italian restaurant we'd gone to when he came up for his interview. We had a great time, and that seemed to set the tone for the whole weekend. When he left on Sunday night, I was sad, really sad, because we'd had another terrific weekend. But as happy as that made me, I was still frustrated because I still didn't know what this thing was that Neil did that was so fucking amazing. I decided that until I found out what it was, I wouldn’t be able to win him back.

April 30, 1985

New Haven, CT

The Falcon cruised up to the terminal as I waited with the limousine. I'd driven out to the airport, but had arranged for a limousine to drive us around since there were three of us and the Porsche could only fit two. The door opened and Stefan was the first to scamper down the stairs. He cracked me up. He was so animated. I gave him a huge hug.

Slower and more deliberate was JP. “Dad, it's so good to see you!” I said enthusiastically. I hugged him like I always did, holding on to him until I got a response and he actually allowed himself to relax into me. “I've really missed you.”

“Oh you have, have you? Not enough to come see me over break, though.”

“You sound like Tonto. You are becoming grumpy as you age,” Stef said, teasing him.

“I have had to spend three days with Stefan,” he said. “I am exhausted.” Stef giggled.

“So how are things with you and Robbie?” Stef said as the limo whisked us off to my apartment. I wanted them to see where I was living.

“They're good, but a little strange.”

“How so?” JP asked.

“Neil cornered me and told me that I didn't know what Robbie really likes, you know, sexually. He made it sound like it's something kind of kinky.”

“What did Robbie say?” JP asked.

“He says Neil is full of shit. But I don't think he is. There's something there, I just don't know what it is. I'm worried that whatever Neil does to get him off will be enough to keep us apart.”

“Brad, I love Robbie, you know I do, but if there's something like that, something kinky, and he won't tell you, and he uses it to keep you two separated, you have to stop and evaluate how hard you want to fight for this guy,” JP said.

Stef ignored him. “Do you have any idea what kind of thing it may be?” Of course he would find kinky sex incredibly interesting.

“Whatever it is, Stef should know about it. Probably even did it,” JP teased.

“That I am a highly skilled and sought after lover is widely known,” Stef shot back. These two were hilarious together.

“The only thing that I know about is the rape thing that Robbie went through in Claremont.”

“I do not know about this,” Stefan said.

“And Brad should not be telling you,” JP responded. Stef ignored him and motioned for me to go on.

“Robbie was pinned down by his cousins in the locker room after football practice. They raped him. Only he liked it. So then he started pulling a train after practices until the coach busted him and kicked him off the team. He was humiliated by it, I guess because he liked it but hated the guys that did it.”

“So it seems logical that something kinky that he was into would somehow revolve around his ass,” Stef observed. His attempt to sound scientific made JP and me chuckle.

“I guess. That makes sense. What kind of stuff could it be?”

“Well, it is pretty simple. Either he is into having things stuffed in there, could be food, dildos, anything, or he is into what comes out. That gets into scat.”

“That's pretty gross,” I said. “If he’s into scat, I'd have a tough time dealing with it. I mean, I just couldn't get into that.”

“You must remember,” Stef said, now on a roll as the sexual sage, “that if he is into something kinky, you do not have to participate if you do not want to, or do not feel comfortable doing it. But you should not condemn him for it either.”

“He has a really sensitive prostate. He loves to be fucked. So I'd think it's probably more like something being stuck in there. I wonder what it is.”

“It is hard to say. There are some men, so I have heard, that even put gerbils up their asses. The scratching of the gerbils is supposed to be highly stimulating.”

“I didn't see any rodents at his apartment,” I joked. It was funny to watch JP and Stef both contemplate what that must feel like. The mention of rodents prompted me to change the subject. “Have you heard from Mouse? How is he doing?”

“He's in New Orleans, at Tulane, but he doesn't like it. He's planning to transfer to Columbia in New York next semester,” JP told me.

“Too bad he's not transferring until next semester. I'll be gone by then.”

“Where are you going?” JP asked.

“Well, I'd like to go where Robbie goes. Both of us are leaning toward Berkeley. They have a program that would let us spend a year in Paris at the Sorbonne.”

“That sounds fabulous!” Stef said. JP agreed. He especially liked the idea of us being at Berkeley and close to home.

We had a nice dinner and then they were off. I watched the Falcon take off, wondering what exactly Neil was sticking in Robbie's ass that got him off, and was keeping us apart.