Before And After the Divorce - 11. Funeral Preparations and Legal Matters

Saturday

I wake up at 8:00. Dominic is still asleep. I figure I'd let him sleep as long as he wants, these next few days are going to be brutal for me. I can't even imagine what will be going through his mind. First things first. Coffee. I know first thing Monday is we find a psychiatrist or psychologist, whatever. I know he'll need counseling. No reason not to go with him. But there are probably a million things to do before then. Mrs. Hollander will be calling sometime today, I'm sure that will make some of it easier. Today, though, I need to find her will, I know we made out a set before the divorce. I doubt that one would still be active. I need to find out about that condo she bought, although she was already confused at that time, maybe she just imagined that, and the new custody hearing. Shit. I hope the money is true. If not, we can get by on my pay. I can probably get survivor's benefits from social security for Dominic. Arrange for the funeral. I hope Mrs. Hollander's list is pretty long. If left to my own devices, I'm sure I'd miss half of what needs to be done.

After sitting with my coffee keeping me company for a while, I sure as hell didn't remember to drink it, I decide to look in the desk she has in the corner of the bedroom. If I was an important paper, that's where I would be. I start with the drawer that has the file folders. I find bills, bank statements, that one might come in handy soon enough. There's a folder tagged 'custody;' there's the original custody agreement, and the one I gave her to store when she got out of the hospital. We never made another after she got out of the hospital, I wasn't worried about it, besides, the latest one gave her unlimited visitation. Can't get much more unlimited than living together. Nothing after that giving her sole custody. I'll have to contact the lawyer she used for the first one. That would be who she used if indeed there was a new one. I'm starting to doubt that, since it isn't here. Life insurance, that will be needed. OK, keep looking. Pay stubs. Yeah, there's a million dollar one in there, but I guess since she showed me that at the restaurant, it'd make sense that she'd file it. It looks like the rest of them, but I'd guess that's easy to fake. Ah, there it is, will. It's newer. Oh, God. I just had a horrible thought, what if she designates custody for Dominic in there. It's dated before her hospital stay. I pick it up and head back out to the kitchen. That's probably where he'll look for me first.

I get a couple pages into the will, nothing but boilerplate stuff it seems, when I hear Dominic cry out.

"Daddyyyyyyyyy."

I rush into the bedroom.

"I'm here. What's wrong?"

"I woke up and you were gone."

"I was just in the kitchen, looking over some paperwork. I'm sorry."

"I got scared. I thought you left me."

"Never. I may be in another room sometimes, but I'll never leave you completely alone."

"Everything's fuzzy in my head. Is mommy really dead?"

"Yes, she is. It's just you and me now. But we did OK while mommy was in the hospital, we'll do OK now too."

"I guess. Can I go back out into the kitchen with you?"

"Sure. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"OK, let's go get you something to eat."

He only wanted cereal, easy enough, even for me. I went back to looking at the will while he was eating.

"What's that?"

"It's mommy's will. It tells everybody what to do with all of her things if she dies."

"Things like what?"

"Her car, money, other personnel possessions."

"Does it say what to do with me?"

"Not so far, but we had that hearing where you sat with Mr. Tim and the judge said you'd live with me. Unless it says something special in here, that is still the case."

"Oh. I hope there's nothing in there."

"Me too. Let me finish reading it and I'll let you know what's going to happen."

"OK. I'll go get a book and read too."

"Good. I'll be right here."

Dominic is back inside a minute. Apparently, this one was written on a day she wasn't mad at me. I'm the executor, everything goes to Dominic, with me as his guardian and trustee for any accounts that need to be created, until he reaches adulthood. I make note of the attorney's number, same one as for the divorce and custody hearing. That's another call for Monday. It's a little after nine now, and my phone rings. Caller ID says St. Thomas Hospital. It must be Mrs. Hollander.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mr. Pastore. How was your night? Was Dominic OK?"

"Yes, he stayed right with me until I woke up this morning, and he panicked when I wasn't in the room, but otherwise, OK."

"Good. I probably should have told you to make sure he knew where you would be if he couldn't be with you."

"I kind of assumed that when you told me he probably wouldn't leave my side. I didn't want to wake him just to tell him I am going to the kitchen."

"I can understand that, but from now on, you have to think about Dominic in everything you do."

"OK. Thanks for the advice. Do you have a list or something of the things I have to do?"

"To some extent. More like a package. It was late last night when you left, so I apologize I didn't think to give it to you. Would you be willing to meet with me now? I could bring it over and we could discuss it."

"I'd have to get us dressed first, but yes, we can come down."

"I'd prefer to meet with you there. I'd like to see Dominic in his home environment. Plus, if you came here, I'll probably end up being here all day. Meeting you at your place gives me a good excuse to get out of here."

"Sure, that's fine. I'll get us dressed now and we'll be waiting for you."

"Thank you, don't rush. I need to gather a few things. I should be there in about twenty minutes."

"Thanks. Bye."

"Bye."

"Was that the nice lady from the hospital that took us to see mommy?"

"Yes, it was. She's coming over to help us with all the things that need to get done when someone dies."

"Oh. OK. I'll go get dressed then."

"I'll be right behind you. Well, in my room getting dressed. Are you OK with us being apart for a few minutes?"

"Yes. If I know you're at least here in the apartment, I'll be OK."

We head to our respective rooms to get dressed, and amazingly come out with almost the same clothes, dark blue jeans and a Pittsburgh Penguins T-shirt. Mine is white and his is black, but they're otherwise the same.

"Hehe. We picked out almost the same things to wear."

"Yep. We kind of look like twins."

"You're too old for us to be twins."

"You think I'm old? I should let the tickle bug get you for that."

"No. Nooooo. I meant we're not the same age, we can't be twins. Twins have to be born on the exact same day."

"I knew you were joking a little. Anyway, mommy's will basically gives everything to you and names me as who you should go live with. Or in this case, stay living with. Ask me later or try to figure it out. How can two twins be born in different years?"

"That can't happen."

"Oh, it can. Think about it for a while and I'll give you the answer later."

"OK. Do I get her car, too?"

"Well, I suppose technically, it will be yours, but so we don't have to keep paying for it and almost never use it, it makes more sense to let the bank have it."

"Why would the bank want a car?"

"The bank sort of owns it. See, the bank lent mommy money to buy the car. Mommy pays money to the people at the bank, a little every month, until the bank gets enough to get the money back that they lent her."

"But the bank is a building. I've been there with her."

"OK, yes. It's actually the people that run the bank, but the people themselves don't partially own the car. The bank, as a business, owns the car."

"OK I get it. Like when she pays when we go to the YMCA, it's not the building or the guy at the desk that gets the money, it's whoever runs the company."

"That's close enough."

Saved by the bell.

"That's probably Mrs. Hollander, we'll go let her in."

"Yeah. I like her."

We let her in, say our hellos. I get her and me a cup of coffee, and we sit in the living room, Dominic right by my side. She goes over things that need to get done. The first, getting a funeral parlor so they can take her body from the hospital. She explains that they'll help me with all the arrangements, handle the obituary, with my input, and order copies of the death certificate. They'll also help getting a burial plot, if we don't already have one. That's good, because I wouldn't know how to go about getting that. Her list includes things like going to social security to get survivor's benefits for Dominic, dealing with real estate, wills and a reasonably small number of other things. Not the million I had worried about, but more than enough to miss a few of them if you don't know what you're doing. Some have corresponding forms she brought copies of, much of which can be done online these days. Those that had that capability had a URL as well. I do a quick search for funeral homes in the area and find one just a few blocks away. Hmmm, never knew it. She makes note of which one it is and will call them to arrange to pick up the body. She says the funeral director will contact me after they have her.

The next few days are a whirl. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get things done in a day or two, so I took the week off. Hopefully I'll get far enough through the list to not have much to do after I go back to work. School had just started the Tuesday before Lacy died, so I'll have a little time during the week without Dominic. The funeral director called just a couple hours after Mrs. Hollander left. Since a lot hinges on that, like getting death certificates and a whole host of other things, I agree to meet with him that afternoon.

Dominic and I walk into the funeral home a little before our one o'clock appointment.

"Mr. Pastore?"

"Yes."

"I'm Alfred Hitch. No jokes please. Who is this handsome young man?"

I didn't say it, but I thought it. Alfred Hitch lost his cock. I nod to Dominic that he should answer.

"I'm Dominic."

"How old are you, Dominic?"

"I'm seven, almost seven and a half."

"Would you like to go into a room we have here that children can play in while your dad and I do some business?"

"Daddy said I can help with some of the things, like picking out the cakset and the cemetery ploth."

"That's good. It never hurts to learn some of life's lessons early. But to correct you, it's a casket and a cemetery plot. But I'm sure you've only heard those words once or twice. It's easy to get things wrong. Let's go to my office."

"Thank you for correcting me without making be feel bad. My teacher last year did that sometimes; made me feel bad."

"You're welcome. People in my business need to be nice to the people they're dealing with, because our customers are always going through a difficult time."

After we get to his office, things turn very serious.

"We have a number of caskets here that you can examine, but most of them are stored elsewhere and we have a catalog with those. Dominic, why don't you look through the catalog to see if there's anything you like. Remember, it's your mom's final resting place, so you want something nice, but within your father's means."

Dominic looks at him quizzically.

"He means unless we're rich, you shouldn't pick one of the highest priced ones."

"But we are rich. Mommy got all that money from work."

"That's true, but right now daddy isn't allowed to use that."

"Why not? You said I get everything, if I say you can use it, isn't that good enough?"

"It should be. But I'll have to talk with mommy's lawyer, who wrote the will, to make sure it's the latest version, and to deal with all the paperwork to get it transferred into your name."

"We do offer financing. We know funerals are expensive, sad to say, but due to the cost of living being so high, so is the cost of dying."

"Thank you. Pick out something you like, and you think mommy would have liked. We'll deal with the money part later."

"Thank you, Mr. Pastore. Next is either the obituary or cemetery plots. Do you have a preference?"

"Let's get the obit out of the way."

We discuss what should go into her obituary and which newspapers to send it to. After that, he tells me a list of cemeteries they deal with, what kinds of plots are available. When he describes one that Dominic likes, he stops us.

"That one. The one with the stream. I think we should bury her there, daddy. A stream was always the sound she would listen to if she wanted to calm down."

"Good enough for me."

I give him Lacy's social security number. He asks how many copies of the death certificate I need. I wonder why more than one.

"There are many places that will require an official copy in order to transfer assets, set up new accounts, transfer accounts, etc. Most people get between ten and twenty. The state charges $20 for each copy. We handle the charge and transfer that cost to you, so you have fewer bills to be concerned with."

"Let's split the difference and go with 15."

"Very good sir."

He helps me with filling out the form and after setting the viewings for Monday and Tuesday evenings and the funeral itself for Wednesday morning, I leave him the clothes we picked to bury Lacy in, we ask if Dominic has decided on a casket.

"I like two of them, I'm not sure which to pick."

"Let me see which two. Some of them aren't always available."

Dominic points the two out, both middle of the road prices.

"I have one of each of those here. Maybe you can decide after seeing the real thing."

That is exactly what happens. Dominic chose well, they're both white with pink satin. We choose the one with the slightly darker pink. It's $150 more than the other, but we'll only bury Dominic's mother once, so the difference is meaningless.

"That is all. You should come by a little early on Monday evening, so you can ensure everything looks acceptable. If she needs a touch-up on her makeup or anything like that, we'll have the time to do it. Shall we say 6:30?"

"That will be fine."

"Thank you, sir. I will see you then. I'm glad I was able to help you through this difficult task. Goodbye."

"Bye." "Goodbye."

On the way home, we talk about school.

"You can stay home from school if you want to. Your teacher will understand."

"I think only Wednesday. You have a lot of things to take care of, like you and Mrs. Hollander talked about, and I'd probably be just sitting around bored, so I think I'll go in Monday and Tuesday."

"That's fine. It's also OK if you change your mind."

"OK, but I don't think I will. I thought a lot about how twins could be born in different years. Would that be if they were born on the same date a year apart?"

"No, but you were on the right track. So, you figured that twins aren't born at exactly the same time, right?"

"I guess so."

"Yes, they're generally born at least a few minutes apart. What would happen if one was born a few minutes before midnight?"

"The other one is born after mid... New Years!"

"That's right. The first one would be born on December 31st, say 2022 for example. What would the second one's birthday be?"

"January 1st Twenty-twenty-THREE."

"That's right."

"That would be so cool to be a twin like that."

"Yes, it would."

Monday

I got Dominic ready for school and saw him out the front door of the building. There were a number of children in the building that went to the same school, so the bus picks them up right out front. Afterward, I started by making an appointment at the local social security office. They scheduled that on Tuesday. That simple task done, I called the insurance company. They'll email the claim form. I should look closer at the policy to see how much it is. Not very important at the moment. I contacted Lacy's lawyer. She knew nothing about another custody hearing nor a condo purchase but said just in case Lacy used a different lawyer for some reason, she would check into it further. She called back near the end of the day and confirmed that neither of those things happened. That was a huge weight off my shoulder. In the meantime, I took Lacy's will to the bank to see if I could have them check the account balance for me. Unfortunately, they wouldn't do anything without a death certificate or power of attorney.

I called around and found a child psychologist that would see both of us, me with and without Dominic, and late enough to accommodate our schedules. I didn't want to have to take a couple hours off every week, so evening hours were important. I made our first appointment for Thursday evening.

I went back to Lacy's files and searched for anything with her online access information. There was nothing that specifically said, 'here is all my online access information.' But then if she wanted to write it down somewhere but still basically keep it private, it wouldn't have a big sign saying 'HERE I AM.' I kept searching. Nothing on paper. Fortunately, she had given me the password for her laptop. Again, nothing obvious. I knew which bank it was, so I searched for files with that string in them. She had a folder called recipes with files for different items, labeled with food items. That's where all that was. I was able to log into the bank. I was looking at a six-digit available balance, but still almost couldn't believe it was really there. I dug around a little bit and she had set up transfers to my checking account. We thought that just in case I needed funds for something for Dominic, it would be useful. I'd actually forgotten about that. There was also a check written for $215,000. Was her lawyer wrong about the condo? That will have to wait until after the funeral.

With all the big items taken care of, I opened the bottle of bourbon and relaxed a little before we had to get ready for the first viewing.

Next up - "The Funeral and Dominic Adjusting"