The Boy with No Name - 23. Chapter 23

After I was all cried out, he and I quietly got out our books and did our homework.

“I still can’t believe that he’s here.” said Jesse. “Do you like him?”

“Like I said, sexy runs in the family.” I teased. Jesse elbowed me.

“Hey! You’d better watch it. I might start to think that you like him better than me.” said Jesse.

“Aww,” I said getting closer to him. “You don’t have to worry about that.” I said giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Don’t let me interrupt. I just came to put my stuff away.” said Bradley.

We parted awkwardly and went back to our homework. Then, a knock came to the door while Bradley was organizing his things. It was my father.

“Jamie, I’m going into town for a bit, but I’ll be back soon.” said dad.

“What are going to do this late? The only things open are bars and gas stations.” I asked.

“I’m going to see your mother.”

“Oh…well…tell her I said hi and…and that I miss her.”

“I will…I’ll see you later.”

Dad left the room and I put down my pen.

“Are you okay?” asked Jesse.

“I will be. I just don’t know when.” I answered.

“Maybe you should go rest for a bit.” said Jesse. “Collect your thoughts.”

“I need to finish this essay for English.” I said. “Reminds me, what am I going to tell Becca about Paige?”

“I don’t know.”

“You have to tell me something that you don’t mind me saying.”

“What are you guys talking about?” asked Bradley.

“Well, this girl I know has a crush on Jesse and her friend wants me to set her and him up.” I answered

“So, you guys aren’t out in school?” asked Bradley.

“No, we’re not really ready for that yet.” I said.

Bradley stuffed his bag into Jesse’s closet.

“Well, just say that Jesse’s isn’t ready to be with someone so soon after Stacy. It’s really believable and it’ll get them off of your back.” said Bradley.

“It’s weird that I never thought of that.” I said.

“Thanks Brad,” said Jesse.

“I don’t see why you can’t just come out at school. It’s not a big deal.” said Bradley.

“I’m just not ready for that yet.” said Jesse.

* * *

Jesse and I got through the next two months without any major problems. I told Becca what Bradley had suggested and it actually worked.

That same night, when my dad went to go see my mom, they decided to get a divorce. I couldn’t believe that I sickened my mom so much that she wanted a divorce from my father.

By mid-October, I’d sort of accepted it and so did Timmy.

“Fuck her if she doesn’t know how great you are. I don’t want to have anything to do with her either.”

That is what he said when we found out about the divorce.

Homecoming was coming up and everyone was pairing off. And Jesse’s jealous fears had come true.

“Listen, I know the guys usually ask the girls, but I want to take a chance. Will you go with me to the homecoming dance?”

Becca asked me during out English 2 class. I froze. I didn’t know what to say, but I just kind of spit out the answer.

“Sure” was what I said.

“Really!”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to confirm. I knew that Jesse would be really hurt and mad, but I mean, it’s not like I was going to go with him and I really wanted to go to the dance. Don’t ask me why. I just did.

“Sure why not,” I confirmed. She gave me a hug and then went back to her work.

As soon as I saw the smile on her face, I felt a knot in my stomach. I knew that what I did was going to hurt Jesse. I could’ve said no and Jesse and I could’ve gone “stag”. I wanted to take back my answer but I knew that I couldn’t.

Jesse and I had stopped spending lunch together. We’d agreed upon that, so I was relieved that I had almost the entire day to think of a way to tell Jesse in a way that he won’t freak out.

Once sixth period rolled around, my heart was jumping up and down in my chest. He walked into the classroom and smiled at me. Extreme guilt was now added to my anxiety.

He sat next to me and, of course, instantly knew that something was bothering me.

“Baby what’s wrong?” he whispered.

“I have something to tell you, but I’ll tell you after class.”

“Are you sure you want to wait?” asked Jesse.

“Yes, just…I’ll tell you when we get into your truck.” I said.

I really hoped that he wouldn’t get mad. I’d lost count of how many girls had asked him out since the beginning of school. But, then again he never said yes to any of them.

* * *

“Why did you say yes?” asked Jesse.

“It just kind of came out and I couldn’t take it back.” I tried to justify it.

“I knew she had a crush on you.” said Jesse. He huffed. “How could you do this?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. You know I love you right?”

Jesse stayed silent. It was the scariest silence so far.

“I think I know a way to make this better,” was what he said.

“What?” I asked.

“What if I ask Paige to the dance? I mean, she’s Becca’s best friend right? And she likes me so she’ll say yes.”

I wanted to scream, “Of course not! She’s not sinking her claws into my man!”

But I knew that that would be really hypocritical. So instead I said, “Yeah, sure, that sounds like a good idea.”

“Why don’t you call Becca and have her and Paige meet us at Jakes that way I can ask her?”

“Right now?” I asked.

“Well, the dance is next weekend.”

“True” I said.

“So call her.” said Jesse.

I got out my phone and called Becca. She agreed to take Paige to Jake’s and so, we met there.

When I saw Becca and Paige sitting down when I walked in, I couldn’t do it.

“I can’t do this. Why don’t I just go over there and break it off with Becca. That way everyone is happy.”

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want you to seem like an inconsiderate ass hole. Plus, she’s your friend. You don’t want to hurt her do you?”

I took a deep breath. “No, I don’t.”

We walked over to the table and sat. Becca gave me a sitting down hug. I could see Jesse clench his fists.

“So what did you guys want to meet us for?” asked Becca.

“Well, Jamie said that you were going to the dance with him next weekend so, I thought it would be cool if I took Paige.” said Jason

“Really?” asked Paige.

“We would go just as friends though. I just feel like being single for a while. You understand, right?”

“No, right, I understand.” said Paige. “This’ll be great.”

“Great, so it’s a deal?” asked Jesse.

“Yeah,” said Becca and Paige practically at the same time.

“Cool,” I said. “Want to get some sodas?”

* * *

I straightened my tie as I looked at myself in the mirror.

“Move out of the way.” said Timmy pushing me to the side.

“Fuck, Timmy. Couldn’t you wait until I was done?” I asked.

“Can’t, I’m late to pick up my date.” said Timmy. “I still can’t believe that you guys are actually going with girls.”

“Listen, we’re not going, going with them. We’re just going as friends.”

“Do the girls know that?”

“Have I ever told you that you’re a pain in my ass?” I asked with a sneer.

Timmy laughed. “A homo talking about ass pains is just wrong.”

“Grr!” I stormed out of the room and into Jesse’s.

Seeing Jesse in his tux nearly floored me. It made me regret that I wasn’t going to be his date.

“Do I look okay?” he asked me while adjusting his tie.

“Okay? Okay? Every girl in the room is going to be drooling over you.”

Jesse grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. Our chests were touching and our faces were a few inches apart.

“You know what?” he asked me, looking into my eyes. “I don’t care.”

Then he did something that he’d never done before. He did something that I didn’t even know that he could do. He sang to be.

“Because I only have eyes for you.” he sang

If it wasn’t for him holding me, I would’ve been on the floor.

We heard whispers all around us, but we just kept our eyes on each other.

“That was so great.” I whispered.

“Yeah…it was.” he agreed.

The next thing we knew, one of chaperones was pulling us apart.

“That’s quite enough.” she said. It was our world history teacher, Mrs. Dickinson. “I will not have any of that at my school.”

“Any of what Mrs. Dickinson?” asked Jesse.

“Kissing,” she answered.

“I’ve seen a lot of people kissing. You didn’t stop any of them.” said Jesse.

“That’s different,” she said.

“Why, because they’re straight? That’s pretty homophobic.” He let go of me.

“Jesse, just leave it alone. It’s okay.”

“No, no it isn’t.” said Jesse. “We have as much right to kiss here as any of these couples do.”

“It’s a disgusting freak show and I won’t allow it!” She yelled this and I immediately flashed back to my mom calling it the exact same thing.

“Hey!” I heard Timmy yelling from behind me. “You have no right to talk to my brother like that. I should have you fired.”

“Yeah!” I heard someone call behind us.

All of a sudden everyone started to root for us. I never…ever expected this. The rooting was so loud that I couldn’t hear myself even think.

Just seeing the look on Mrs. Dickinson’s face was priceless. It was worth her saying those things to remind me of my mom.

The music started up again and everyone started to dance. Mrs. Dickinson left, embarrassed. Jesse and I started to dance. The music was face paced, but we danced close and slowly. Our eyes never left each other and we were in heaven.

It wasn’t until the song was over that I remembered our dates.

“Holy Shit!” I screamed.

“What?” asked Jesse.

“Becca and Paige.”

We stared through the crowd, but Stacy stopped in front of us.

“H-Hey Stacy.” said Jesse.

“Hey, I just want to say that I’m sorry about how I reacted.”

“It’s understandable.” said Jesse.

“I’m proud of you.” said Stacy.

“For what?” asked Jesse.

“For being able to be honest about who you are.”

“Thank you.” said Jesse with a shy smile.

“Well, have a good time tonight.” said Stacy.

“You too.” said Jesse.

She smiled at me and then went off with her date. Jesse and I went to our table and found our dates. They didn’t look very happy.

“I’m so sorry.” I said to Becca.

“Me Too,” said Jesse.

“This must be the worst date you’ve ever had.” I said.

“Not really. Once I had this guy pick his nose throughout our entire date.” said Becca.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I just wasn’t ready.”

“Me either.” said Jesse.

“It’s not a big deal” said Paige.

“Yeah, we understand.”

“What do you say we get out of here and go to Jake’s or something?” asked Jesse.

“Yeah, it’s better than being at this dump. We’re here every day.” I said.

“Sure” said Becca. “As long as I’m back home by twelve.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with that too.” said Paige.

So, I let Jesse and the girls go to the car while I let Timmy know that we were leaving.

“It’s not because of that bitch teacher is it? You shouldn’t let her ruin homecoming.” said Timmy.

“No, we just want to go somewhere else.” I told him.

“Okay, well remember that dad gave us that twelve o’ clock curfew.” said Timmy.

“It’s cool. Becca has the same curfew.” I said and for the first time in a long…long…long…long…long time, Timmy hugged me and even kissed the top of my head.

“I’m proud of you little brother.” said Timmy.

I smiled. “Thanks, Timmy.”

I left with a confidence that I’ve never had. My brother said that he’s proud of me. Jesse and I were out as a couple to the entire school. And all was right.