My Son - 5. TC2 - Chapter 5: Frantic Friday

It was late at night, or early in the morning, depending on your point of view. At 3:30 am on Friday, March 9, 2018, the house was still. A sliver of light from Robert’s bathroom gently illuminated his bedroom through a partially-closed door. There was enough shadowy darkness to sleep by, and enough light to keep the demons at bay. Or so Robert hoped. It was a fitful sleep he was in, and a nightmare had gripped him. He tossed, turned, and called out in his sleep.

The bedroom door opened, and Adam ran in. He was breathing heavily, panting with worry. He sat at the edge of the bed, grabbed Robert’s shoulders, and shook him. “Rob… WAKE UP! Come on, wake up, Son! WAKE UP, ROB!”

Robert awoke with a start and thrashed around incoherently. In the brief melee, Robert hit Adam in the jaw with his fist. “Settle down Son! Calm down… easy now.”

Robert panted, “Dad… I… I’m… sorry…”

“Shhh… it’s alright Son… relax… deep breaths… yes, like that… a couple more.”

Robert did as instructed, but rolled away from Adam.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Adam rubbed his son’s exposed back, as he sat on the edge of the bed. His fingers brushed against the scar on his son’s back. “Must have been a really bad dream. I was in my room when I heard you across the house.”

“I… I… was dreaming of Mom, you, and foster care. How she didn’t tell me she was sick, until right before she spiraled downward. You knew she died of ovarian cancer? Doctors said it was stage four when they found it, there wasn’t anything they could do… it was too late. Then my Granny and Gramps didn’t want me, and Aunt Kimberly said I should be sterilized and forced into a re-education camp…” Robert’s silent tears left lines that shone in the sliver of light from the bathroom.

“Then the beating at the group home… it hurt so much… worse than when the rebar pinned me in the car. And… and… I came here, but they took me away from you…” He paused as he sniffled. “I don’t know how… but I ended up with a handgun… and I kept saying… ‘It’ll be fine soon, just pull the trigger’… I had the gun pressed against the side of my head… I don’t know where that is coming from.”

Adam sat and continued rubbing his son’s back. He was silent as Robert spoke. Holy shit… that was one Hell of a night terror. He’s having thoughts of suicide, and… damn… we really need to get to that shrink today. “Son, I’m here for you. I can understand the pain you’re in. If you think you can wait until morning, when we go see the therapist, we’ll wait. Or if you want to talk to someone now, the hospital has emergency psychologists who man the crisis line of Tampa Bay. They may recommend waiting ‘till later, or they may recommend I take you to a crisis center. Either way, know I love you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to help you.”

Robert sighed and leaned back some into Adam’s hand. “I… can wait.”

“If you sure…” He leaned over and gave his son a hug and a peck on his cheek. “Now, scoot over a little.”

Rob did scoot over but not before he gave his dad a puzzled look.

Adam stood up, and pulled the blanket up and tucked it around Robert. He then lay down behind his son, on top of the covers. “Just until you go back to sleep.” He wrapped his arm around him and held him like a little spoon to his big spoon.

“Thanks, Dad.”

Minutes flew by as Adam lay with his son. When Robert’s breathing became regular, Adam slipped off the bed and walked silently out the door, shutting it behind him. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself some water. I’m worried about him. It’s still a ways off before morning.

Adam went to the hall closet and grabbed a spare blanket and pillow there. He stretched out on the couch and promptly fell asleep.

~.~

Morning came, and the pair found themselves rushing to get ready. They had both overslept, waking at 8:45 am, and their appointment was at 10:00 am. Quick showers, dressing, and rushing out of the house ensued, and they were off in Adam’s RDX. They weren’t going far to the therapist, just over the river and down Kennedy Blvd., so they had time to pull through McDonald’s for a quick bite to eat, and McCafe coffees for each of them.

They arrived at the office with fifteen minutes to spare. Robert sat down, sipping on coffee, and picked up a magazine to look at. Adam signed them in and sat down with a stack of paperwork to fill out. He handed Robert some for him to fill out as well.

The lobby was not too big, with comfy chairs surrounding the perimeter. A flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall and was showing the local FOX News station on their Good Morning Tampa Bay programming. A magazine rack was next to the nurses’ station window, and several silk flowers in planters were around the waiting room.

Adam returned the paperwork, and shortly thereafter he and Robert were escorted to the back to see the therapist. The back office was dimly lit with a warm light, and incense was burning on a low table to the side. A mix of pleasant scents filled the air with a relaxing aroma. A large desk was at one end of the room, while a sitting area of a small couch and two armchairs were on the other. Artwork decorated the walls, and the room had a ‘home sweet home’ vibe to it.

“Doctor Knowles will be in shortly.” The receptionist left, shutting the door behind her.

“It’s a nice office.” Robert sat down on one end of the couch. “I’m nervous, Dad.”

Adam smiled at Robert and sat on the blue sofa as well. “It will be fine. Just be honest, and relax.”

Robert nodded, and the door opened.

Doctor Knowles was a large bear of a man. More muscle than fat, he had a strong body, slightly salt-n-pepper hair, and closely trimmed beard. He gave each of them a firm handshake along with a warm smile.

“I’m Doctor Malcolm Knowles. You can call me Doc, Mac, Malcolm, Doctor Knowles, whatever… just don’t call me late to dinner.” He gave a full-throated chuckle and sat down in a comfy armchair across from them. “You are Adam Smith and Robert Turner… father and son, correct?”

“That’s correct Doctor.” Adam smiled and chuckled as well.

Robert sat nervously looking at his dad and the Doctor. “Yeah… that’s us.”

“A pleasure to meet you both.” He paused a moment. “Let me fully introduce myself. As I said, I’m Doctor Malcolm Knowles, and I was born here in Tampa. I graduated from the University of South Florida’s school of medicine before attending Johns Hopkins University in their psychiatry studies. I specialize in family counseling, where the majority of my patients come from, but I also work with GLBT individuals… I notice from your paperwork that you’re both gay?”

“Yes we are, Doctor. I didn’t know you work with the GLBT community when I made the appointment.”

“Then it’s a fortunate choosing. Because of my work, and you both being gay, please feel that this is a safe space. Be as open about your sexuality as you feel you need or want to.” He gave them both a smile. “So, what brings you two in today?”

The pair spent the next thirty minutes discussing the custody situation with Doctor Knowles. Robert informed him of the suicidal thoughts he’d had over the past couple of days, and of the night terror that morning. Adam discussed the feeling of rage he’d experienced when told of the assault on Robert in foster care, and how he blamed himself for it happening. The Doctor asked his questions and got more information out of both of them about their feelings for each other, and how they felt about Michelle’s death.

“Rob, I understand your maternal grandparents signed away custody of you. How did that make you feel?”

“It hurt. It made me feel like I was just a bastard piece of shit.” He paused to wipe his eyes on a tissue. “My aunt called me that. ‘You’re a fucking faggot bastard that should be sterilized and sent to a re-education camp for conversion therapy.’ I’m surprised my grandparents signed the papers.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, Granny is a State House Representative for Massachusetts, and Grandpa is a State’s Attorney. They’re always in the news for one thing or another. They’re both Democrats.”

Adam let out a low growl. “They are more worried about their image than they are family.” Disgusted, he drew Robert into a hug. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” There was a misting of his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Rob. I wish I could take that all away from you.”

“Did you ever meet them, Adam?” Doctor Knowles was making notes for his file.

“Once, it didn’t go well... Michelle told me they were very deep-seated in their ways. I just never thought it was that bad, until I met them for Thanksgiving dinner a few months before my twenty-first birthday. They didn’t come out and tell me to leave, but they made their displeasure known.”

“So, that’s why they’re doing this, Dad? They hate us that much?”

“I don’t know if that’s the full reason, Rob, but I firmly believe it is.”

“Uh-huh. Well, we are almost out of time. I would love to discuss this more at our next session, and let’s budget more time for that. Clearly, this is something that weighs heavily on you both. I have some homework for you two. I want you both to write journals, and we’ll discuss them in the next session. Old school pen and paper, the tactile sensation helps in focusing. There is no wrong way to do them, just write what you think or feel. At least one entry a day.

“Rob. It’s common for foster kids to have bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts. Now, we already discussed that, and you don’t have a plan to carry it out. I don’t feel you’re at risk, nor do I think any medication is needed. However, if you find yourself dwelling on it, go to your dad, and call me immediately. We’ll go from there. Let’s revisit in two weeks and reassess then. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like a plan to me, Doctor Knowles. You, Rob?”

“Me too.”

Doctor Knowles escorted them to the front, where Adam scheduled the follow-up and paid for the visit.

They were just getting into the car when Robert’s stomach starting growling.

“Sounds like someone’s hungry. Where do you want to go?”

“Um… How about pizza? Is there a good place around here?”

Adam smiled. “Yup, over in Hyde Park is one of the best in the Bay Area… Sally O’Neals.” He pulled the car out and head towards Armenia Avenue to get to the SoHo/Hyde Park area of Tampa. It was an upscale area, filled with old money families, hipster bars, and plenty of high-quality restaurants. Adam pulled into the parking lot, and the pair walked inside.

It was right before lunch, so the place was starting to pick up. They decided to share a medium pizza and ordered a Sauceless Pizza: a hand-tossed pizza with a garlic and olive oil base, topped with cheeses, pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, and herbs.

“This is really good, Dad. Why didn’t we get this the other night?” He munched on a slice and washed it down with a swig of sweet tea.

“I like it here, and they do deliver to our house. However, I like Papa John’s and Pizza Hut too. And, I didn’t know if you would like this place or not. Mom dislikes it because she feels it’s so greasy.”

“Ah. Makes sense… but this is really good. Better than some of the pizza we had when we went to New York.”

They finished their meal in silence, paid the bill, and headed out to finish the day.

~.~

The house wasn’t messy, but that didn’t stop Adam and Robert from cleaning. After they got home, they divided up the chores and went to work cleaning and straightening up the house for Sylvia’s home visit. Adam checked the house supplies to see if anything was getting low and updated the electronic inventory list, while Robert swept, mopped, and wiped down the kitchen. Adam vacuumed in the bedrooms and was starting the windows when Robert walked over to him.

“Dad, do we have any notebooks?”

“Yes, in the library. Let me show you.” He and Robert walked to the library. “Did you finish the kitchen?”

“Yes, sir… also got the family room, and wiped down the exercise equipment too. I hosed down the area in there with Febreze. It smelled kinda sweaty.”

The library sat off the formal living room and was a medium sized room. Bookcases adorned all four walls and were also built around the windows. Two window seats were under the windows on the east wall, and the west wall was one large shelving system. A series of drawers were at the bottom of each case. Adam’s executive desk and leather desk chair sat in the center with two other seats.

Books, books, and more books were on the shelves. From technical manuals, Adam’s old college books, paperbacks, and hardbound books of fiction and non-fiction… an eclectic assortment was to be had. Several other knick-knacks and do-dads were strategically placed to fill gaps and serve as bookends.

“Good job. Thanks, Son.” Adam opened the bottom drawer on the west wall bookcase and showed Robert where the office supplies were kept. “The only thing I ask is that you don’t mess with my laptop or my personal stuff on the desk. But you can use the desk and read any of these books you want.”

Robert smiled. “Nice collection. I did some reading up north, but I never kept any books. Mom and I used to go to the library until we went digital. I have close to a hundred eBooks on my Kindle account.”

“Do you know what sort of career path you want to go with?”

“Marine biology, now that I know there are good schools here. Mom wanted me to follow her into her field of study, computer technology, but it didn’t feel right to me. I took a course in school on engineering. I like building stuff, but it’s not something I want to do either. No offense, Dad.”

“None taken. Come with me…” Adam left the library and took Robert to his bedroom.

“Damn, Dad… your room is huge.” He tossed himself on Adam’s bed. “I want this bed now...”

Adam laughed, and just shook his head. “This way… You’ll love the bathroom. I thought you came in here on Monday?”

“No… I glanced down the hall but didn’t come in. I know I can see inside the room from the other side the house, through the French doors, but I haven’t really paid attention.” He followed Adam into the closet. “Damn… mostly empty in here.”

“It is, room for when I get a husband.” Robert could hear the longing in his father’s voice. “But, this plastic tub here and that one. You can use them anytime you want.”

Adam opened the two large plastic tubs, and they were filled with Lego blocks. Robert chuckled as he ran his hand through the blocks. Adam smiled. “Yes, I still play with Legos, Son. But they are for work.” They shared a laugh.

“In all seriousness, Rob, I did use them to build models for some engineering projects. There’s also some of the metal build sets in the garage. And they are fun to play with. So, if you ever want to use them, be my guest. Just put them back where you got them.”

“Alright, Dad.”

The pair left Adam’s room and finished cleaning the house for the home visit.

~.~

Sylvia Cramer arrived shortly after 3:00 pm and was greeted by Robert at the front door. “Hello, Mrs. Cramer, please come in.”

“Thank you, Rob. How have you been?”

“I’m doing fine. Loving it here, and Dad is the best. Can I get you something to drink?” He escorted her to the family room, just off the kitchen, and grabbed himself a Coke from the fridge.

“I’ll take some water, please, and thank you.”

“No problem.” He grabbed a bottle of water from the wet bar and passed it to her. He sat on the other couch opposite her. “Dad will be right out… He’s on the phone with our lawyer, Carol.”

“That’s fine. We can start with our little part while we wait.” She took out the tape recorder and a notepad. “Do you mind?” Sylvia held up the recorder.

“I don’t, but you need my dad’s permission. I can’t legally give it to you.”

Sylvia smiled and nodded her head. “True. I’ll just take notes then… Well, what all did you do in your first week?” She started taking notes as Robert talked.

He recapped the events from the week from the first night there to meeting Adam’s business partner and being named a partner in the brewpub, along with their therapy session at Doctor Knowles’ office. Robert was honest about his night terror the night before, how Adam comforted him afterward, and told her about his fears. “I don’t ever want to go back into foster care at a group home… don’t know what I would do, if I had to. I’m scared, and I don’t really know why. Even had thoughts about suicide if I end up there again. Doctor Knowles says it’s common for foster kids, especially ones who get beat up. He gave Dad and me homework to do.”

“I’m sorry you were assaulted in foster care, Rob. Massachusetts should have done a better job, and we are looking into it.” Sylvia was about to add more when Adam came into the kitchen, grabbed a bottled water as well, and sat down on the couch a little down from Robert.

“Sorry about that. Carol is trying to put out fires.”

“That’s fine, Mr. Smith. Rob and I were doing our individual talk anyway, and he was telling me about his week. Real quick, do I have your permission to record our talks?”

“You do.”

“Thank you.” She flipped the recorder on and looked back to Robert. “You answered a lot of the questions I had, but there are a few I need to ask you. Adam you can stay; you don’t need to leave just yet.”

“Okay.” Adam perked his brow. Odd. What’s she up to?

“Rob, do you feel safe here?”

“Um… yeah, I do. Why are you asking?” He scrunched his face in puzzlement, as the tone of the questions shifted.

“In a moment.” She smiled reassuringly. “You copied a number of records from the group home. Did you tamper with the file, aside from illegally obtaining them?”

“I didn’t steal them. I asked for a copy of the incident form. The admin assistant, Emma, gave me one of the full files. Though, she said that was all the help she could give me.”

Sylvia made a few notes, and checked the time on her watch. “Rob, can you show me your room, please? Adam, you can wait here for us.”

“What’s going on Sylvia?”

“Nothing to be concerned about. Shall we, Rob?”

Robert led Sylvia to his room, where she shut the door after they walked in. Robert sat on the bed, while Sylvia sat down in the desk chair. Sylvia placed the voice recorder on the desk between them. “I see you’re starting to make it yours. Did you choose the colors?”

“Yes, I did.” He clipped his answer, without any attitude. Robert crossed his arms and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. “So, what do you want to ask me that Dad couldn’t be in here for, and you wanted to be recorded?”

Sylvia sighed and shook her head. “Rob, I’m just doing my job-”

“Yeah, and the guards on trial used the same defense at Nuremberg.”

“-so, please bear with me.” She paused a moment, in order to look over some notes. “Has Adam touched you inappropriately?”

“Of fucking course not!” He bolted upright, defensively. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

“Please, Rob. Calm down.” She smiled again and stood up herself. After placing a hand on his shoulder, she led him back to sit on the bed. “I just have to ask the question, now that some things have come up.”

“You’re talking about Uncle Tibot’s rape accusation. Yeah, I know about that. Dad told me what happened, and so did our lawyer Carol, who said Massachusetts illegally obtained the file. I know that he was cleared of the charges, the case was dismissed, and Uncle Tibot took back what he said.”

“Then you know that in cases like this, we have to be extra careful. It’s for your protection.”

“My protection? Where the fuck were you all when I was getting my ass kicked? Huh? No answer?”

“Rob, please… I’m just doing-”

“-your job… trying to accuse my father who loves me for who I am, of trying to screw me.”

“Has he tried to? Has he bribed you with anything? I know there’s a number of new things in here, like the electronics, and you’re a partner now in the business. Has he given you anything that could impair your judgment?”

“No, he has not... to either of those.”

Sylvia opened a file folder and passed Robert a printout of a picture. “Would you like to restate that?”

A shiver ran down his spine. “Where… how did you get this?” He looked at her scared. “How did you get this?”

“I’m going to need you to pack a bag. I’ll wait for you in the front room. Two officers from the Tampa Police Department should be here by now to escort us off the property.”

“WHAT?”

“We’ll take you over to the hospital for a quick checkup, and then make arrangements to get you to a safe place.”

“What the fuck… you can’t do this… I… just got here. This is a safe place! Nothing happened!”

“After…” She paused. “Look Rob. I hate this, but it’s my job. You won’t go to a group home. Under Florida law, we offer foster guardianship to family first. Adam’s parents have already been checked out, while you were still up North. I’ll call them from the hospital.”

Robert let out a sigh of relief. “If they take me, I should be okay.” His eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“Now… pack a bag for a couple of days, and I’ll inform Adam.” She left Robert sitting on his bed and made her way to the family room. She passed through to the front room, where she spotted Adam sitting under the watch of two uniformed officers. “Thank you for coming, officers. Can one of you go and watch the child. He’s packing a bag. His room is the back bedroom.”

“Sylvia, what the hell is going on?”

“Mr. Smith, we need to talk.” She sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Adam and placed the voice recorder on the table between them. “Now, the Florida Department of Children and Families is not pressing charges at this time, nor are we asking for your arrest. We received allegations of child abuse and evidence that needs to be investigated. My superiors informed and instructed me to remove Rob from your custody until we can finish our investigation. Off the record, I feel the evidence is suspicious, but it’s not my call.”

“What allegations are you talking about? Is it the old sexual assault case? I was vindicated for that!”

“That is part of it. But also some photos were sent to us.” She took out the printouts of several photos and handed them to Adam.

They were all shot from the backyard, and through the French doors that encompassed most of the rear of the house. The first was a picture of Adam, handing Robert what a bottle of Budweiser, while they wore Lightning jerseys. The second showed a series of night vision shots of Adam, in boxer briefs, crossing from his bedroom to Robert’s. The last few shots made Adam’s skin crawl. They were of him in bed with Robert and only could have been obtained from someone looking into Robert’s bedroom window. Adam could tell it was photoshopped immediately, for it showed Adam under the covers, engaged in sex with his son.

“I’m not saying another word unless my lawyer is present. I also request a copy of these pictures.” He was white as a sheet with a disgusted look on his face. “These are fake.”

“It is your right to remain silent. You can keep the printouts, and have your lawyer contact us for copies of the digitals we received.” She paused again, and let out a quick breath. “As I told Rob, in Florida we try to place the child with family before anywhere else. Your parents already passed a background check, so I’ll call them once we reach the hospital. I’m sorry, Adam… until this is finished, you will receive three supervised visitation sessions a week, and you cannot go within five hundred feet of Robert. Outside of the supervised visitation, of course. I understand you two are seeing a counselor together. When those appointments occur we’ll consider them a supervised visit. When Robert comes out, you can say goodbye, but you cannot touch him.”

Adam sat with a mix of emotions playing across his face. When the officer escorted Robert out to the front room, they paused before the front door waiting.

“Dad… I love you. I’m scared, Dad.”

“I am too, Son. Just go with them... I know my parents will take you. I’m going to get you back. You have my word on that. They won’t let me hug you.”

Tears started dripping off Robert’s cheeks to the floor. He nodded to his father, and his shoulders shook. The officer that escorted him placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. He shook the officer off, stepped over and hugged his dad. Robert dared anyone to say something.

“I love you, Robert. I’ll get you back.” He hugged his son back. Adam wiped the tears from Robert’s face before he moved to join the officers again.

Adam sat on the couch as the police officers escorted Robert and Sylvia to her car. He stood up and watched from the open door as they drove off.

Adam shut the door, then turned and slid to the floor. His tears started as soon as he hit the floor, and he sobbed with a wail that rocked the house.