Denied - 43. Chapter 43

There was a lot of talk that sounded like words I should know but somehow, I knew that what the people around me really meant wasn’t what they were saying at all. All I could do was wait beside Captain and absorb everything I could. I’d learn.

They’d given me that, along with the strength and speed I’d need to take down everyone who Captain said stood in our way to a life together in freedom. I’d barely adjusted to life on the ship, but I already couldn’t bear the thought of losing what few choices I’d learned how to make for myself. I stared at Captain’s profile, at the dark stubble starting to speckle his cheeks and the growing circles under his eyes. His hair was lighter than the others, colored with age just enough to give him a air of command.

You knew by looking at him that he held power and responsibility and he didn’t hold it easily. The lines beside his eyes and mouth showed he knew how to set it aside too—he smiled and laughed. He had friends among the crew that enjoyed spending time with him, so he knew how to relax.

I wanted to see that happen. He’d been so serious since I’d met him, so burdened. I caressed the handle of the weapons Deke gave me, reassured by their weight and pressure against my skin.

“Shouldn’t Deke have gone with Freska when she goes to the port to arrest Frijul?” Kekillill asked. “It’s going to be chaos.”

“No. He’s too recognizable. There’s no way he’d leave my side during a mission or an attack. Elliard will be expecting both of us.” Captain stood. “Kekillill, you are in command here. You will stay on the ship with our escorts, responding to any demands from Intelligence as vaguely as possible until we engage.”

She jumped to her feet and snapped a salute to her chest. “Yes, Captain Querry. I won’t let you down.”

Deke snorted, and she shot a glare in his direction but didn’t relax until Captain said, “I know you won’t. Thank you.” Captain stepped away from his chair, and I stayed at his side. Kekillill took his spot immediately. Deke and several others abandoned their screens and gathered near the exit. Captain turned smartly, and I nearly ran into him. He smiled and put a hand on my arm, pulling me to his side when I stepped back.

“This mission has a high risk of failure. We are going in knowing that should we fail, but you have a chance to escape. If you can, do it. You can’t attempt a rescue mission if you land in the shit right next to us.” He gave them a look, one I didn’t really understand, but they all stood and saluted. Captain nodded once, saluted back, and then turned on his heel and led the way off the ship.

They were almost clear when Aparoe joined them.

“Leaving it a bit late, aren’t you?” Deke said.

“Shut up. This wasn’t easy.” Aparoe held several things, but I didn’t like the look in their eyes when they turned to me. “I did my best.”

“What?”

“You didn’t tell him?” Outrage colored their voice. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Captain squirmed. Literally squirmed, right there, in front of the crew that was watching, like a little boy. “I couldn’t. Not after what happened. How can I ask this or tell him…?”

“How can you not?” they said tartly. “Did you just think the whole situation was going to go away? That it wouldn’t be necessary because it would be hard to say? For you?” They made a sound of disgust.

“No! Not for me. How can I ask that of him? But if he doesn’t come….”

“Can you guys stop talking about me?” I knew they were, every time they said he, and the tension between them and whatever they meant was making my stomach twist. “What’s going on?”

“Lakshou paralyzed you,” Aparoe said bluntly. “Because you’re too dangerous not to. And they have scanners at Intelligence.”

I put a hand over my weapons.

“You can keep those,” Deke said. “Do you really think I’d give you something if I was just going to let someone take it away? They’re coated to block the scans. Well, to not block them. They appear invisible as long as you keep them covered.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“But the biometric scans are trickier. If you just stood still and let one of them haul you along, it’d sense your body chemistry is off. You have to appear to be paralyzed without actually being paralyzed.” Aparoe scowled. “Not an easy task.”

The word made my skin crawl, but I trusted Aparoe when I’d trust no other doctor. They’d helped me. “So I will be able to move?”

“Not at first.” They held up an injector. “In here is a compound that will paralyze your body, but—” They threw up a hand when I went rigid and started shaking my head. “Calm down. You could move if you needed to, but you’d be sluggish and slow. This will counter the compound.” They held up a tiny pill. “I will place it between your tongue and your teeth. It will take some force, but once you break it, the gas inside will be absorbed into your bloodstream immediately, countering the paralysis in seconds.

“It was the best I could do.”

Aparoe and Captain held their breath, looking at me. It was a mental mind fuck but what did I expect? I should have thought about it. Did I really think I was going to go striding in there behind Captain like a warrior?

No, I was the bait. Again.

“I’m sorry,” Captain said softly. “I just couldn’t tell you.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Let’s do this. I’m guessing someone has a grav lift?”

Deke held up a small box. “I’ll be close to both you and the Captain. I have your back.”