Starcrossed - 10. Chapter 10

“Billy, you need to listen to me…”

“What?”

“Your father has gone missing.”

“What?!”

“He never showed up at his meeting and he never checked into his hotel.”

“What-what…I…have….you….I…”

I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know what to say. My entire body was shaking. I couldn’t feel anything.

Ace walked up to me and put his hand on my arm. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Is there anyway you can get here?” she asked.

“No, there isn’t. What’s going on Aunt Tara. Where’s my dad?”

“We don’t know. The police are looking for him.”

I couldn’t say anything else. A few seconds went by before my aunt Tara continued.

“Honey, I know you’re worried. We all are. I’m sorry that you can’t be here, but…but we’ll try and keep you up to date on everything. I’ll call you tomorrow…I love you, Honey.”

“B-bye aunt Tara.”

I hung up the phone and was speechless.

“Billy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” said Ace.

“My dad’s missing.”

“What?”

“He didn’t make it to his hotel or his meeting.”

“Well, are the police looking for him?”

“Yeah…”

My heart jumped in my chest.

“Oh…Billy, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe it.”

Ace wrapped his arms around me and I squeezed as tightly as I could. I didn’t want to let go. I couldn’t let go.

“Do you want me to call anyone? Noah? Ryan? Kendra?” asked Ace. “Can’t stay, but I can call one of them to come and stay with you.”

“I would tell you to call Noah, but I know that he won’t be able to leave his house. His parents have him on a short leash.”

“Okay…what about Kendra?”

“I don’t want to bother her.”

“Ryan?”

“No…it’s okay…just-just go.”

“I’m not leaving you here alone.”

I didn’t say anything. I just walked away from the phone and back to the living room. I sat on the couch and curled up into the fetal position.

“Look, I’m gonna call Ryan. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind coming over here.”

I didn’t answer. I wanted to refuse, but didn’t have the energy any longer. He went ahead and called Ryan. I heard the mumbling of their conversation in the background of my house.

Ace sat with me until the doorbell rang. He got up to answer the door. I heard him say hi to Ryan. Then, he came back into the living room and sat next to me again.

“I have to go now Billy.”

I looked up to his green eyes and hugged him goodbye.

“Thank you.” I said.

As he walked to Ryan, I heard him say, “Take good care of him.”

“I will.” said Ryan.

Ryan came over and sat next to me. I could tell that he didn’t know what to do.

“Billy, can-can I get you anything?…”

I looked up at Ryan, at his blue eyes. “Ryan, you don’t have to be here. You should just go back home.”

“I’m not going to leave you alone, Billy.”

“I don’t need protecting. Can’t you straight guys get that? I’m not some little kid.”

“Look, I don’t care what you say. I’m not leaving.”

I smiled. How could I smile at a time like this?

“I’m-I’m sorry. I’m just freaking out right now.” I said.

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to freak out.”

I looked into his eyes again. This was dangerous. His eyes are always what got me the most about him.

“Thanks for being here Ryan, but I really don’t need anything. I think…I think I’ll just go to bed.”

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

“No-No, you don’t have to do that. I told you, just go home. I’ll be fine, I swear.”

“And I told you that I’m not going to leave you here alone.”

There was that stubborn thing that I loved him for again. This really isn’t a healthy situation. Not when I’m so happy with Noah.

“Well, if you’re gonna stay here, you can’t sleep on the couch. You can sleep in my dad’s bed.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Go ahead.” I said with a smile.

There I was, smiling again in a situation I should totally not be smiling in. I showed him to my dad’s room and when I entered, I broke down in tears. The room smelled like my dad. When the scent hit my nose, I just couldn’t handle it.

I felt Ryan’s arms around me for the first time, for real anyways. He’s had his arms around me in play rehearsal, but that was because he had to. His arms were around me and it was the real thing, but yet…I felt no difference. The energy coming off of him was the same. This made me freak out even more and run straight out of my dad’s room and into mine. How could his real hug feel exactly the same as his fake hug? Either he’s been lying to me and he really doesn’t care about me or….no…it’s…it’s not possible. Is it?

I heard Ryan call my name, so I closed my bedroom door. I couldn’t handle it. I got onto my bed and threw my blanket over my head. I heard Ryan come into my room and then sit on my bed.

“Did, did I do something wrong?” he asked. “I’m sorry if I did. I don’t have to sleep in there. I can sleep on the couch.”

I didn’t answer and after a while, I could feel him getting up. I stopped him as fast as I could.

“No…stay.”

“Is that what you want?” he asked.

“Please…I don’t want to be alone.”

The truth is, I wanted to see what would happen. I would stop anything before it went too far, but I just wanted to see if it would go that far, first.

“Hold me, Ryan…”

On top of the blankets, he held me. I rested my head on his chest and he held me tightly. I wrapped one arm around his stomach and the other was on my chest. This wasn’t really a big deal to me. I used to lay like this with Ace all the time. I still do. But apparently, this was a big deal for him. I felt him adjust his position and then get one arm free. I didn’t let him know, but I saw him adjust his pants.

I rubbed my hands across his stomach and he stopped me by putting his hand on mine. I lifted my head to look at him. He felt me move and looked back down. The moonlight came in from the window and shined on his face. It gave him a glow.

“Billy…I have to tell you something.” he whispered.

“You can tell me anything…” I said.

My cell phone shook on the nightstand in a big interrupting vibration.

“Sorry,” I said.

I grabbed my phone off of the nightstand. I had to stretch over Ryan to do that. It was Kendra.

“Kendra…yeah I’m okay…yeah Ryan’s with me…I’m sure…I will…see you tomorrow…bye.”

I hung up the cell phone and put it back on my nightstand, stretching over Ryan again.

“What were you going to tell me?” I asked.

“Nothing…nothing…just…let’s just go to sleep.”

When I woke up the next morning, I opened my eyes to see Ryan’s face just a few inches from mine. He looked so peaceful as he sleeps. Pretty much everyone does, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop looking at him. He’s still just as beautiful as I remember.

This is bad. This is very bad. What’s very bad? I wanted to kiss him so badly. But I didn’t. Instead, I got up from the bed, waking him up. He stretched and yawned, getting up from the bed as well.

“Any word about your dad?” asked Ryan.

“No,” I said. “You should get going if you wanna make it to school on time.”

“You should come to school too.” said Ryan. “It’ll get your mind off of things.”

“No, I’m gonna stay here in case my aunt Tara calls.”

“Then I’m staying with you.”

“I don’t want you to miss school because of me. Besides, Kendra is supposed to come today.”

“But she works today doesn’t she?”

“How do you know?” I asked. This was weird.

“Well, we’ve sort of become friends.”

“Oh…”

This was weird. That was a friendship I never saw coming in a million years.

“It’s not a big deal…is it?”

“No, not really. But, still…I don’t need you to stay any longer, really…last night’s shock is all over.”

“When are you going to stop fighting me and just let me stay here with you?”

I finally realized that Ryan wasn’t going to leave, so I stopped fighting him. I tried to see him being there as a good thing. What if Tara calls and tells me that they police have found my dad, but…not alive. That would be a situation in which I would not want to be alone.

“Are you sure you wanna miss school with your grades in such danger?”

“Well, it’s a good thing I have you as a best friend to help me stay on track.”

This statement made me all warm and fuzzy inside. It made me think of the close moment we had last night.

“Ryan…you were gonna tell me something last night…What was it?” I asked.

He walked out of my bedroom and I followed him. He walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” said Ryan, biting his fingernails.

He was obviously nervous. I’ve never seen him like this. I decided to leave it alone, but the moment from last night still gave me a bad feeling in my stomach. So, I decided that we should at least talk about that. We needed to clear the air before it got any more awkward.

“Okay…” I sat down next to him. “Well, can we at least talk about last night. I know you felt how close we got. I think that maybe it’s something worth talking about.”

He took a deep breath. “Yes, I did feel what you felt last night. But, I don’t know if we should read any further into it.”

“Come on, Ryan…work with me here.”

“I-I think that we should just leave well enough alone.”

I knew I was getting nowhere fast, so I just gave up. I offered him breakfast and he jumped at the chance to help. I had promised him a while ago that I would teach him how to make pancakes from scratch.

In hindsight, this was also a very bad idea. He ended up with flower all over him, especially his cheeks. He just looked so cute. I had to get out of there.

I left right before it was time to put the pancakes on the griddle. I left to my room to clear my head and collect myself. He came in shortly after, mostly likely to see what was wrong. I looked at him with the big round spots of flour on his cheeks and I nearly broke into tears.

“Are you okay? Are you thinking about your dad?”

He sat next to me and started to rub my back.

“No, that’s what I should be thinking of, but it’s not.”

“What’s up, Billy. You can tell me.”

“Yeah, I can tell you all of my most intimate secrets right?” I asked a bit annoyed.

“Y-Yeah, you can trust me.”

“Then why can’t you trust me? Why can’t you tell me what you can so close to telling me last night.”

“It’s complicated and I don’t want to complicate your life anymore than it already is.”

“I wish you would stop trying to protect me and just trust that I’m a grown person and can take care of myself. What? Do I have a sign that says ‘I’m vulnerable, save me’ on my forehead?”

“I just…I care about you, Billy…I…I care about you a lot. More than I am really willing to admit.”

I looked him, surprised at this confession. I turned my head slowly.

“Exactly…how much do you care about me.”

His head was down for my question, but when he looked back at me, his eyes were glossy and tears fell from them.

“Too much…” he said, choked up.

I looked at him…his blue eyes and put my hand softly on his cheek. I felt his warm tears roll over my hand. He leaned in for a kiss and as he did I just remember thinking: push him away, don’t do it Billy. But I was frozen. I couldn’t push him away. I just let it happen.