Starcrossed - 14. Chapter 14

Sitting at home alone, thinking of Ryan wasn’t really helping my decision. I had no time to think about or consider a relationship with Noah.

So, when my doorbell rang, I was really hoping it was Ryan so I could straighten things out, or Noah so I could think about my decision more. But it was neither. It was Ace.

“Hey, Ace…come in.” I said, pouting.

“Wow, I’m glad to see you’re glad to see me.”

“Sorry, I was just hoping it was Ryan or Noah.”

Ace laughed. “Or both.”

“That’s totally not funny.” I said, closing the door as he came in.

“How’s your dad?” he asked.

“The same.” I said.

We went to the kitchen and started to raid the fridge.

“So, what’s going on with you and Ryan?” asked Ace.

“Nothing.” I said. “Not anymore.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He…he dumped me because I can’t choose between him and Noah.”

“Ouch…but…can you really blame him?”

“No, Ace, of course I can’t blame him. I would be just as jealous if I was in his situation, but I wish that he would just give me a chance.”

“Well, in order for him to give you a chance…he and Noah have to be in the same situation, right?”

“I guess.”

“Well…they’re not. Ryan has to face the face that…that he has to share the guy he loves with someone else. On the other hand…Noah is oblivious to what’s going on around him and ignorance is bliss.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

Ace shed a lot of light on a situation that I was confused about myself. Maybe he was right. Maybe Ryan would give me another chance if I told Noah that he and I were also in love. Ugh, this could turn out ugly, but it’s the only way.

* * *

Ace gave me a ride to Noah’s house. I knocked softly on the door. A tall, beautiful woman with dark black hair and green eyes opened the door. I figured that this was Noah’s mother. He obviously got his looks for her.

“Can I help you?” she asked nicely with a friendly smile.

“Yes, um…I’m here to see Noah. Can he talk for just a second?”

Her eyes turned wide and her face practically went white. Did she know who I was? Great.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” she said, staring at me like I was scum.

“Please…It’s important.” I stumbled over my words.

“I’m sorry. He can’t.”

I looked inside of the house and saw Noah coming down the stairs.

“Noah!” I called.

He came to the door.

“Mom, why didn’t you tell me Billy was here?”

“Noah, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to talk to him.”

“He’s my boyfriend, mom. Get over it.”

“Don’t talk to me like that!”

“Well, you can ground me when I’m done talking if you want.”

Noah walked outside and closed the door of his house behind him. He grabbed my waist and almost kissed me. But I pushed him away when I saw his mother looking out of the window next to the door.

“Your mom,” I said. “She’s looking.”

Noah smiled and me and my knees went weak. “I don’t care.”

He kissed me anyway. If it’s even possible, his kiss was even more passionate and caring than our other ones. I could feel his love on me. I pushed him away again, thinking of why I was there in the first place.

“I have to tell you something. That’s why I’m here.”

“Can’t it wait?” asked Noah.

“No, Ace is waiting for me.” I said.

“Oh…okay…um…what’s up?”

My heart started beating faster that I’ve ever felt before. Was I really going to do this?

“The other day…after you left my house and Ryan came over…”

“Yeah?”

“Well, the next morning…we had sex, Ryan and I…”

Noah just stood there, dumbfounded. His eyes were wide, much like his mother’s eyes just a few minutes before.

“But…Ryan’s-Ryan’s straight…you’re just friends…”

“Not anymore, but…but I love you Noah…”

“Then why would you have sex with him!!!”

Noah’s anger made me flinch a bit. Tears started to stream down his face and the tip of his nose started to turn pink.

“I love him too…I love both of you.”

My own tears started to stream down my face. The cold it my tears and sent goose bumps throughout my body.

“You can’t love both of us, Billy. That’s not how it works. It’s either me or him, anyway…I don’t even care who you choose. I can’t stay with someone who cheats.” Noah took a deep breath. “We’re over.”

Noah turned around and walked inside of the house. I turned around and got back into Ace’s car. I was trying to hold my tears in, but couldn’t manage it. I burst out into sobs and Ace wrapped his arms around me. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

“Everything is going to turn out okay, Billy.”

I sat back up and wiped my tears.

“How is everything going to be okay?!” I yelled. I took a breath and calmed down before I continued. “I’m the most horrible person in the world.”

“No you are not.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re my best friend. I’m horrible. I’m a lying, cheating, asshole. I’m a horrible boyfriend. I don’t see how anything can get better.”

“Look, you’re a great guy. These two guys wouldn’t love you if you weren’t…I wouldn’t love you if you weren’t.”

I looked up and him and smiled, wiping the tears and snot away from my face. Ace smiled back at me.

“I love you too, Ace.”

Ace sighed. “Look, you’re not a horrible person. You’re just in a horrible situation.”

“I don’t know how I’m gonna get out of this.” I shook my head.

“You’ve gotta choose one, Billy. It’s as simple as that.”

“But just choosing one of them isn’t as easy as you make it sound, Ace.”

“Billy, you can’t love both of these guys the same. You’ve gotta love one of them more.”

* * *

Ace, Kendra and I rode in Ace’s car to the school the night of the play. They were on the list of my special guests to get in free. I put Noah on the list as well because we were aloud to have three. I didn’t think he would show up, but I was hoping that he would.

We arrived with enough time before show time for me to talk to Ryan. I had to make sure that what was going on between us wouldn’t effect our performances in the play. I found him in our dressing room. He was taking his dress down from the hanging area.

“H-Hey,” I said shyly.

He turned around, looked at me, and turned back to his dress.

“Ryan…I’m sorry. I really am.” I paused. “I just want you to know that…I told Noah about us.”

He turned around slowly. “You did?”

I nodded my head. “I still haven’t made a decision, but…I guess it doesn’t matter now since neither of you don’t want any more to do with me.”

“What?”

“Noah broke up with me.” I said. “And you broke up with me, so…I guess I’m alone.” I smiled nervously. “I don’t know, maybe I’m supposed to be alone.”

Ryan’s sad face made it even harder to stay in there and face what I’ve done.

“Well, I’ll leave and let you get dressed. But…I just hope that what’s going on between us doesn’t effect our performance together.”

“I’ll try my best.” said Ryan.

I turned around and left the dressing room. I sat on the bench that was right outside of the dressing room. I wanted to cry, but I knew that I needed to keep my composure for the play. I was really sad…then Ryan walked out of the dressing room in his dress and make up, which was done horribly. I had to laugh.

“What?”

I stood beside him. “You obviously have never done make up before.”

“Oh, I’m sorry that I’m not as gay as you, Billy.” he said sarcastically. That was the first time since a few days ago that he hasn’t sounded miserable.

I smiled at him. “Come on. Let’s fix this.”

I led him back into the dressing room, closed the door and sat him at the vanity. I began by wiping his face off to start from scratch. I started by applying foundation and then just a little bit of rouge and lipstick. Being so close to Ryan made it difficult not to just hold him, but I didn’t. I knew better than to be so forward.

Then again, I knew that if I felt the sexual tension between us, Ryan did as well. I would’ve asked him if he did be he left to let me get dressed quicker than I could say Shakespeare. So, I just dressed into my costume, which unfortunately included tights. I guess I can’t really complain, Ryan has to wear a dress and wig after all.

I put on some light make-up and started to pace the room, going through my lines and blocking. Ryan walked in while this was going on and I was a bit embarrassed. I blushed when he walked up to me.

“Mrs. Drake wants to talk to everyone before we go on.” said Ryan.

“Thanks, I’ll be right out.” I said.

He threw a smile my way again and left the room. His smile still makes me melt.

I collected myself by taking a big, deep breath and then walked out of the dressing room. Everyone was huddled around Mrs. Drake as she was giving a tiny motivational speech. I couldn’t pay attention, though. I had too many things on my mind. All I saw was Mrs. Drake flapping her lips around and her blondish/grayish hair flowing on her shoulders.

The play started nicely. As I went on for my first seen, I fished the audience for who was there and to my surprise, Noah was there. Also to my surprise, My aunt Tara and Uncle Larry were there as well.

I got more and more nervous as my first scene with Ryan approached faster. But as the scene went on, I realized that I had nothing to be nervous about. Ryan was as professional as could be, even in the intimate moments.

Before I knew it, we were at my fight scene with Tibalt, Juliet’s cousin and I was being banished from Verona for killing him. The play was going extremely well and I was sincerely happy with it.

After the play, we all even got a standing ovation, but I knew that it was only because it was all of our families and friends. But, I was still proud nonetheless.