Starcrossed - 3. Chapter 3

Pushing Billy’s best friend was probably the most embarrassing moment in my life. I knew I had to get out of there and fast. All I wanted to do was get on Billy’s good side so he would tutor me. I guess I ruined that. Now I’m never gonna get the grades I need to stay in baseball.

When I left the lake, I drove home. My mom was home, but I knew my dad wouldn’t be home. He’s a cop and he’s always home late. My mom had dinner for me her cooking already when I got home. She sat in the kitchen reading a magazine and watching dinner at the same time. I walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

I’ve always thought my mom was really beautiful, for a mom. She’s tall with long, wavy brown hair and dark brown eyes the color of brown sugar.

“How was your day?” she asked.

“It was okay. I auditioned for the senior play.”

“Oh really? How did that go?”

“It went okay, I guess,” I said. “I was really nervous.”

“I’m sure you’ll get a good part.” said mom, in that way that mom’s do.

“Tell me when dinner’s ready.”

“Okay, it should be ready in about forty-five.”

“Cool.”

I took myself and my stuff to my room. When I sat down on my bed, my dog Bandit jumped up right next to me. He’s a small Jack Russell-Terrier. He mostly white with a few brown spots. He’s still a puppy so he’s still full of lots of energy.

I started to pull out all of my stuff to prepare for my homework. When I got out my history book from my bag, I immediately thought of Billy. I kept wondering if he would tutor me. I doubt it. I’ve treated him pretty badly in the past and I’ve let Tommy treat him like nothing ever since he came out.

The truth is that I’ve never thought there was anything wrong or weird with being gay. It’s pretty normal. My mom’s brother is gay. I guess I just jumped on the bandwagon once everyone started to beat on him or it. After I realized that it was wrong and stopped, I let Tommy keep doing it so no one would think I was weird for thinking no one was wrong with Billy.

I skipped out on doing history. I’m so horrible at that. So, I went on to English. This is something I’m actually good at. That’s partly why I auditioned for the play. Mrs. Drake is the best English teacher at Ashworth. I wanted a chance to work with her.

I had almost finished a first draft of my essay on William Blake when my mom came into my room to tell me that dinner was ready. I looked at the clock. It was six pm. I thought of Billy for some reason. I thought of what he might be doing at that moment. I shook the thought out of my head and walked into the kitchen where my mom had my dinner served already.

“So, tell me about this play.” said mom. “What is it?”

“It’s Romeo and Juliet.”

“Huh? How is that going to work. You’re in an all boys school.”

“Mrs. Drake made it very clear that we won’t be kissing, just hugging. That’s if any of us get the part of Romeo or Juliet.”

“Oh, that’s a relief, I guess. I guess I didn’t really think that they’d make you kiss. That’s just ridiculous.”

“But…you know that when Shakespeare’s plays were first performed, women weren’t allowed on the stage. Romeo and Juliet were two guys.” I said.

“Well, we live in a different time, son.”

I wanted to go on and argue even more, but I knew it would just raise suspicion from my mom and then she would tell my dad and then he would make this whole ordeal from something that’s non-existent. Nope, I wasn’t going to have that. I just ate my dinner while she asked me more questions about school.

After dinner, I went back to my room. I finished up my essay and then, went to feed my dog. When I came back, I started on my calculus homework. When I think about calculus, I think that I should be able to handle history, but for some reason I can’t. I guess it’s all just a bore to me and it can’t really stick into my memory.

I had just finished my homework when I heard my dad walk into the house. I heard him say hello to my mom and ask her what was for dinner, then I heard his footsteps come down the hall. They got louder as he got closer to my room. He walked in without knocking, as usual. I was shoving my school stuff back into my bag. I looked at the clock; 10:00 PM.

“Hi Ryan.”

My dad is tall, the tallest person I’ve ever met. He had dark blond hair and blue eyes. His build was strong, like a cop’s build should be. His presence was equaling strong. His voice, deep and domineering, crept through like a thick fog.

“Hi dad.”

“How was school? Did you do your homework?”

“Good and yes, I did.”

“That’s good. How are your grades?”

“Good, I suppose. I’m trying to get a tutor for history, though.”

“That’s good. You’ll need it if you wanna start on the team this season.”

“I know, I know.” I droned.

“Okay, you better get on the ball with that.”

He left the room and I turned on my iPod and connected it to my speakers. I turned up the volume and then went over to lay on my bed. For a while I just laid there. Then, I heard scratches at my door; Bandit. I got up and let him into my room.

I went back to lay on my bed and Bandit laid next to me. I put one hand behind my head and the other I used to pet Bandit who was up against my ribs. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

* * *

Bandit woke me up the next morning by licking and sniffing my face. I was still fully clothed and I could smell breakfast cooking. I was late!!!

I quickly got up and rushed in and out of the shower. I got into my cleanest uniform and ran into the kitchen.

“Hey, Justin is coming home this weekend.” said mom.

Justin is my brother. He lives full time at the university about an hour away. He comes home every now and then on the weekends to visit. Justin and I get along okay, but like most brothers, we have our moments where we bicker and argue.

“Cool,” I said grabbing a piece of toast.

I took a drink of orange juice from the carton and left the house as I heard my mom yelling for me to use a glass next time.

I drove to school and arrived just in time for my the late bell of my first class to ring, which was Calculus, which my baseball coach/PE coach also taught. I knew I was going to have a tough time during PE later that day.

After calculus, I had history. I would have to sit next to Billy after what had happened the day before. This was something I was totally not looking forward to. I walked to my next class as slowly as possible. I passed Tommy on the way there, we slapped hands quickly and then went on our separate ways.

Could he tell? Could he tell that I was completely out of my mind with nerves? Could he tell it was because I would be seeing Billy in my next class? This is so weird to me. I’ve never been nervous like this…ever. It really confused me.

Then, when I walked into my history class and saw Billy there, smiling and laughing with Kevin Johnson, my stomach started to do flips. I felt nauseated. I darted out of the room and back into the hall. I ran into the bathroom. I went into a stall and dry heaved over a toilet for two minutes. What was making me so nervous?

I walked back to class just in time. I sat next to Billy and he smiled my way. I smiled back at him nervously. Mr. Carey started the class. He started babbling about European kingdoms. Not only was it a bore, but I was completely distracted by Billy. I couldn’t stop looking at him through the corner of my eye.

Class went on like no other class that I’ve ever attended. It was like being beamed into a Charlie Brown cartoon. Mr. Carey just blabbed on and on…and on and on.

My day droned on until lunch finally arrived. I sat at my normal table with Tommy and the rest of the guys from the baseball team. I wasn’t really pay attention to what they were all talking about until I heard Tommy calling my name.

“Ryan…hey Ryan…”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“That girl Jenny from the public asked about you yesterday while I was in town.” said Tommy.

“Oh yeah? What she say?”

“She was pretty interested in hooking up with you.”

Jenny Ryan. One of the most beautiful girls in town wants to hook up with me? This fact made me forget all about Billy. This glow of confidence slowly built up in my heart.

“So…are you gonna talk to her?” asked Tommy.

“I don’t know. I’ll have too see.” I said.

“Come on, this is Jenny Ryan we’re talking about here. She’s not just some average chick.”

I smiled. “Okay, okay, I’ll talk to her.”

I had it set in my mind then. I forgot about Billy and was now focused on Jenny. I went into PE completely convinced of that. But, once I saw Billy on that track, running, it was like I was a moth and Billy was the brightest light in the room. I ran to him and started to run beside him.

“Wassup?” I asked.

“Um…running.” he said with a ‘isn’t it obvious’ face.

“Yeah…” I chuckled a bit under my breath. “Right.”

We both ran for a bit, silent. For some reason, I never thought that what would happen next, would actually happen. It just didn’t come to mind. Tommy came up to my side.

“Ryan, can we chat for a sec?” he asked.

“I’ll be back.” I told Billy.

I walked to the side of the track with Tommy.

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing talking to that faggot?”

“Tommy, we’re just talking. He’s not a bad guy.”

“He’s a faggot. What else do you need to hear to stay away from him?”

“It’s not a big deal that he’s gay, Tom. Just like ten percent of the population.”

“Since when are you all queer-friendly?”

“Look, Tommy, I’m sick of you always bashing anyone who’s the slightest bit different than you are. You have no right to treat people the way you do.”

Tommy shook his head. “I don’t even know you anymore.”

Tommy walked away, picking up a jog as he got further. As I watched him jog away, I felt like I was loosing a brother. I also couldn’t help but feel relieved. Having Tommy as a friend was a big weight on my shoulders that I didn’t want.

I spotted Billy running passed and ran to catch up with him. He looked at me funny and just kept running. I ran beside him.

“I didn’t think you were coming back. Didn’t Tommy warn you not to talk to fags?”

“Yeah, but I don’t care what he says. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. It’s just a different way to love.”

Billy smiled my way. It wasn’t the same smile as in history class, though. It was more genuine. For some reason, I could tell.

That afternoon I was going to go straight home, but then I thought that Justin was going to be home and thought that I’d put it off. I started to drive into town and thought I’d go to the mall. I spotted Billy walking by himself just a few feet ahead of me. Now I had to decide whether or not I was going to go talk to him.

“Are you stalking me, Harding?” asked Billy as I caught up to him.

His tone wasn’t angry, it seemed a but friendly. So, I laughed.

“I promise, I’m not.” I said with a smile, trying to be friendly. “I just wanted to avoid coming home because my brother is visiting from college this weekend and I don’t really want to go home just now. So…I came here, then I saw you.”

Billy smiled and put his head down to shake it. “You didn’t need to go into that big explanation. I was just joking.”

“Ouch, that’s twice.”

“Twice what?” he asked.

“Twice that I’ve embarrassed myself in front of my new friend.”

He looked at me skeptically. “Are you sure you’re not just befriending me because you want me to tutor you?”

“Okay, I admit that, at first, that might have been slightly true. But it’s not anymore. I really genuinely like you.”

He smiled again. He smiles a lot. That’s pretty cool. It’s better than being all depressed.

“Well, you can count on me to tutor you.”

“REALLY!”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was so excited that I could barely contain it. And I didn’t. I wrapped my arms around him in a big happy embrace, but he pushed me off.

“Don’t do that.” he said kind of shyly.

“Sorry, I’m just so excited. I really need to pass history in order stay on the baseball team.”

“Well it’s a good thing that you’re the one jock that I can actually tolerate.”

We started walking again. We talked out everyday things; music and movies. I couldn’t believe how much we had in common. If I didn’t know any better, I would be kind of freaked out by that fact.