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RIP - Comicality
    Emi GS
  • Emi GS
  • Author
  • 09/13/2015
  • 124 Words
  • 687 Views
  • 6 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

My Immature Poetry - 1. Hate or Love???

First Ever Poetry by Me, posted by a taken challenge on Wring Prompt and Inspired by the Movie "10 Things I Hate About You"...

I hate the feeling of Love

that which grows when I see You...

I hate the feeling of Shy

that which grows when You Flirt...

I hate the feeling of Anger

That which grows when You Hurt...

I hate the feeling of Sad

That which grows when You Mad...

I hate the feeling of Happy

That which grows when You Kind...

I hate the feeling of Warmth

That which grows when You Touch...

I hate the feeling of Cold

That which grows when You Kiss...

I hate the feeling of Alive

That which grows when You Propose...

I hate the feeling of Awesome

That which grows when You Hug...

I hate the feeling of Tired

That which grows when You be Sexy...

Thank You for Reading. As always Reviews are Welcome...
Copyright 2015 MGK; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 5
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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AC Benus

I don't know where the 'hate' plays in, but maybe that's a good thing ;)

 

This is a really good poem that might be strengthened, in my opinion, if you played with a more standard poetic strophe. The parts starting "You..." might read more effectively if they were all broken out on lines by themselves. The rhythm then would be more of a statement. Just an idea.

 

Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed it!

  • Like 1
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Emi GS
On 09/17/2015 03:39 AM, AC Benus said:

I don't know where the 'hate' plays in, but maybe that's a good thing ;)

 

This is a really good poem that might be strengthened, in my opinion, if you played with a more standard poetic strophe. The parts starting "You..." might read more effectively if they were all broken out on lines by themselves. The rhythm then would be more of a statement. Just an idea.

 

Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed it!

I already titled its immature... And thank you for reading and the review... I am glad You Enjoyed... :)

Now I can say I am a Poet... ;) Just kidding... :lol:

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Emi GS
On 09/17/2015 06:48 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Love the title, dude.. Immature Poetry.

Keep writing it, it'll mature when it's good and ready.

tim

Hahaha... Thanks for the Hope... :)

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Cynus

I could definitely feel the emotion, and see the scenarios play out in my mind. You may have some issues with traditional poetic structure, but you have the point of poetry down, which in my opinion is to express one's emotion. Well done. :)

  • Like 1
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Emi GS
On 10/13/2015 05:13 PM, Cynus said:

I could definitely feel the emotion, and see the scenarios play out in my mind. You may have some issues with traditional poetic structure, but you have the point of poetry down, which in my opinion is to express one's emotion. Well done. :)

Cynus, actually the problem is, I was publishing them from my Mobile phone. So its got all mixed up. I'll take care of that when I have access to any Computer. And Thank You so much for the Comments... :)

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