I am only a little Gypsy 1 - Reincarnation, does it exist? - 20. Chapter 20. Entering our woods for the very first time.

Today, I found out that all those mysteriously winding paths were abruptly ending into one enormous oblong clearing. One by one, all my minor friends and I entered the clearing, where we stopped and waited until everybody else was present, so that one of our oldest minors could count our heads before we went on. Finally, for the first time ever in my young life, I was entering the mysterious place where I had longed to be for all those long years, our surrounding woods! Looking around in awe, I stopped dead in my tracks, and suddenly started to feel small and vulnerable. Around me, many hundreds of enormous forest trees rose majestically high into the sky, having their top branches entwined so that their outspread treetops formed what looked like an enormous 'cathedral' umbrella over our heads. The spongy ground and fallen leaves under our feet were dampening all our sounds and thereby creating an eerie silence. Beneath our feet, the soft and mossy carpet of fallen leaves and all sorts of rotting forest litter felt like walking on a moving cloud...

Feeling totally overwhelmed by the unexpected silence, I nearly forgot to breathe from the initial shock. Ultimately, my body was only four years and three months old, so that I was the youngest kid ever that was allowed to join our regular group of minors! For quite some time, I felt only tiny and fragile, until my initial shock disappeared and my trembling body forced me to breathe again. For several more seconds, my inside felt a strong urge to cry, while a couple of tears were already welling up in my rapidly blinking eyes and from there dripping onto the mossy ground. Quickly, I regulated my breath and forced myself to be a 'Real Big Boy' and not be some little crybaby. What would my minor friends think of me now, when they saw their blubbering little Crown Prince and appraised Chef Cookie?

After quickly repressing my upcoming tears, I started to look around at what my minor friends around me were doing. Very much to my surprise, all my minor friends seemed to feel totally at ease in those too silent and therefore also almost eerie surroundings. Surprisingly, all of them were acting as if entering such an impressive 'cathedral' clearing was doing nothing out of the ordinary to them! Were really my minor friends already used to this splendid grandeur of our ancient forest? My own mind was absolutely sure that I would NEVER get used to its overwhelming impressiveness, and I would probably always sense the same powerful feelings of awe.

Being only a small and vulnerable child, in spite of acting as if I were already much older, I suddenly missed my own Dad, my Mom, and my Big Friend Michail who always had been very close to me, to help and comfort me whenever I needed them. For a second, I thought about turning around and going home, as a little crybaby who became homesick and missed his Mommy... Only, then I would have to leave my new group of 'minors', so that I would have to play again with our 'infants'. Because that was the very last thing that I ever wanted to do, I went to Misha and surreptitiously worked my own small hand into his much bigger one.

Fortunately, Misha didn't think I could be a little crybaby that wanted to go home, because he suddenly smiled at me, while he squeezed my hand and whispered into my ear:

"Entering this clearing for the first time is rather overwhelming, isn't it? Very soon, you will get used to those unknown forest energies, and, from then on, they will no longer bother you. Now, let's follow the others into our surrounding woods, to find out what animals we have caught in our traps from yesterday."

Still feeling small and vulnerable, I nodded in agreement, while I again regulated my breath and forced my still wet face to produce a feeble smile. Fortunately, Misha didn't think I could be a crybaby that needed to be sent home to his Mommy! Stealthily, I wiped the still dripping tears from my wet face with my free hand, before any of my minor friends could see them. With my other hand safely enveloped in Misha's much bigger one, we started to follow the other minors.

Together, my new friend and I stepped into the already forming line that brought us across our 'cathedral clearing' towards another winding path that soon turned out to end into a dangerous looking steep ravine. One by one, all our minors entered a rocky path full of slanting boulders along the ravine's overgrown border. Surprisingly, at least in my inexperienced eyes, they just started to clamber across all those dangerously wobbling boulders without ever stumbling or falling down into the ravine, and obviously feeling totally at ease.

Although I felt still overwhelmed by what I had experienced so far, I decided to follow them. Therefore, I released Misha's hand, stepped forward, and first looked down into the steep ravine. In sudden fear, I stared at all those huge mountain ridges with their enormous boulders along an outstretched ravine whose overgrown borders were almost hidden behind thick curtains of brightly colored abundantly flowering vegetation. Seeing such an absolutely splendid sight for the first time, I never knew that our beautiful Mother Nature could be this dangerous!

Several other minors had already stepped forward along the ravine, so that it was now my turn to enter the rocky path. For a second, I still hesitated and only stared into the seemingly bottomless depth of the overgrown ravine next to me. This was the first time I saw such a dangerous creation of our Mother Nature, and I felt still a bit shocked. What would happen to me if I slipped on the mossy surface of such a wobbly boulder and slid down? What if I tumbled into this seemingly bottomless deep ravine and probably broke all my bones? Stealthily, I peeked forward at what the others were doing...

Very much to my surprise, all of them were just walking along the rocky path, seemingly effortlessly balancing on the wobbly boulders and jumping across the dangerous looking cracks, as if they weren't afraid at all. None of them ever slipped on the mossy surfaces, or tumbled down into the ravine next to them and broke all their bones... Therefore, I just took a very deep breath, straightened my back, and started to follow them. What they could do, I could do too, even when I was only the youngest kid ever that was allowed to join our group of minors. I only didn't want to stumble or slip on such a mossy wobbly boulder and probably disappear into the bottomless depth next to me!

Still feeling a little bit hesitant, I approached the first wobbly boulder and carefully stepped onto its slippery surface... At that same moment, my inside remembered my strange 'dream' from my past life as a little trapper boy. In that life, I had been USED to climbing along those dangerously steep ravines and jumping across hidden overgrown cracks! In that incarnation, I had been a real little mountaineer, climbing across all the slippery rocks and jumping the dangerous cracks as a 'young gazelle', as my proud looking 'trapper Dad' sometimes told me...

That made me think. What would happen if I would pretend to be still such a little mountaineer whilst following my trapper Dad along this steep ravine? Would my 'built-in little trapper friend' from my past life start helping me again, as he had done before when he helped me slice my spicy herbs into tiny pieces? Stealthily, I asked him in my mind to help me again.

Totally unexpectedly and without any warning, my untrained feet just stepped forward on the slanting and dangerously wobbling mossy boulders! Very much to my surprise, my untrained legs seemed to 'remember' what they had to do, with some help from my 'built-in little trapper friend'. Without any hesitation, my feet just stepped forward and firmly planted themselves onto the next slanting and wobbly mossy boulder, with an astonishing confidence and without ever stumbling. Wow; that felt absolutely marvelous!

Suddenly feeling enthusiastic, I just started to climb the steepest cliffs and jump across the nastiest cracks, as if this was my daily habit and I had done this all my life. I even didn't need Misha's helpfully outstretched hand that clearly waited for me to assist me along this 'too dangerous' rocky path. Obviously, Misha had planned in advance to help me keep my balance on those wobbly boulders and jump across any too dangerous cracks, as a helpful older friend.

When Misha unexpectedly saw me climbing along even the most slippery boulders and jumping across the nastiest cracks as if I was already an experienced trapper, his eyes grew bigger and bigger, while he involuntarily held his breath. With suddenly bulging eyes, he stared at the unexpected vision of what looked like a happily climbing and jumping 'young gazelle'. Then, he got an unreadable expression on his face. He didn't say a word but only stayed close by, so that he still would be able to lend me a helping hand, IF I ever needed any.

Although I clearly didn't need Misha's help, I felt very happy to have such a reliable older friend at my side; and my inside secretly hoped that we would become even closer friends. My own heart seemed to like him very much, and, in my own guts, he felt already as a very good older friend, or perhaps as a bigger brother.

At last, Misha withdrew his helping hand, turned around, and just went on climbing, while I followed him at a short distance. Only now and then, he stood still and looked over his shoulder, to take another curious look at such an unexpected 'young gazelle'. Strangely, despite showing me a faint smile, he still had the same unreadable expression on his face. Why was that? By stealthily reading his mind, I found out that he was feeling sort of... I wasn't absolutely sure, but could it be 'respect'? Only, why would my fourteen-year-old and already very experienced older friend, who also was a Recognized Real Trapper, ever feel 'respectful' towards ME? I had no idea...

Soon, our 'dangerous' ravine ended up into another winding path, so that all of us left the slippery boulders and overgrown cracks that, in hindsight, turned out to be less dangerous than they had seemed before. Together, we started to pave our ways along a couple of very nasty thorn bushes that tried to scratch our arms and legs, until we arrived at the bank of another beautiful creation of our Mother Nature, a wildly foaming water stream full of dangerous looking rapids and slippery boulders. Again, our minors just started to cross the foaming stream, by jumping from slippery boulder to boulder. Again, Misha stopped, turned around, and offered me a helping hand, although this time looking at me with a questioning face.

However, my built-in 'little trapper boy' was already showing me what I had to do to reach the other side safely, without any help at all. Again, my inside remembered following my 'trapper Dad' everywhere, to help him inspect our traps. At first, he had held me on a long leash, until he was sure that I wouldn't drown if I accidentally slipped and tumbled into a dangerous water rapid. At last, slipping off a boulder and tumbling into a foaming water stream became fun, and I started to be really good at rescuing myself from even the wildest streams and the most dangerous rapids. From then on, my trapper Dad started to trust me absolutely, so that he allowed me to enter even our most dangerous forests all on my own and without any help at all.

Now that we had to cross this much easier water stream, I just hopped from boulder to boulder until I reached the other side, of course without ever stumbling or slipping. This was too simple... Surprisingly, this time, Misha seemed to follow ME across the wildly foaming stream, although he still showed the same unreadable expression on his face. Clearly, he hadn't expected me to be this good, although he didn't say a word and just trotted after me. However, this time, he seemed to have a lot of difficulty catching up with my speed!

By reading Misha's mind, I found out that he thought I was outdoing him in almost everything! Why was that? Again, I started to think. Was really I outdoing my already fourteen-year-old and very experienced Real Trapper friend who had been scouring our woods and forests all his life? Wow! Then, I really had to be still such a 'young gazelle', as my proud looking former 'trapper Dad' sometimes called me when he saw me climbing and hopping across even our steepest ravines and all those dangerously foaming water streams almost effortlessly.

After all of us had crossed our wildly foaming water stream, we started to walk along a much easier path along another ravine, until we entered a small rectangular clearing. In here, we halted and waited first until everybody else had joined us safely and unharmed. Then, the oldest boys counted our heads again, to be sure that nobody got lost. Safety first... Now, we started to pave our paths through some dense undergrowth, whilst trying to avoid all its nasty thorn bushes, treacherously rolling boulders, and overgrown hidden potholes.

Suddenly, one of our oldest boys, Jock, disappeared into a shrub. After a second, we heard wrestling and beeping sounds, coming from within the undergrowth. Then, Jock returned, this time carrying a fiercely struggling fat marmot with a glistening snare around its neck! Triumphantly, Jock showed the fat beast to us, before he adeptly killed it by smashing its small head against a rocky boulder.

At first, I felt shocked, because I pitied the animal that clearly had been full of life, before being caught in Jock's snare. Involuntarily, I got tears in my eyes, while my stomach tried to turn into a knot from frustration. How would I have felt if some human giant had smashed MY head against a rocky boulder, to kill me? Then, I started to think... Clearly, Jock's marmot hadn't suffered at all, at least compared to being eaten alive by a hungry predator with sharp teeth and dangerous claws. Now that I looked at it from this point of view, the beast had been lucky to end its life like this, fast and painless! After I found this insight, such a fast and painless death never again bothered me.

In the meantime, Jock had already unwrapped his snare from the marmot's neck. First, he went to our oldest kids and put the dead beast into one of their string bags. Then, he went to another thick shrub, folded the same piece of wire into a new snare, and attached his snare onto a nearby branch, next to a faintly visible animal track. Cleverly, he used a little bit of forest litter to cover his trap, before he returned to us and again blended into our group of minors.

Of course, I had watched Jock's ministrations with concentrated interest and scrutinizing eyes! Yes, this was what Misha had told me to do, while he showed me how to fold a strangling snare from a piece of glistening wire. Only, would this nearby branch be strong enough to withstand a much bigger animal, in case it happened to ensnare itself in Jock's trap? Inwardly, I was sure I would have chosen a much sturdier branch, so that my snare would be able to catch much bigger and stronger animals...

Again, I remembered being a 'little trapper boy' and setting my traps to catch wild deer and other strong animals, to roast them or to preserve their dried meat as stock during our cold winters. Then, my remembrances faded away, and I returned into the here and now. None of the other kids had made any comments about Jock's snare, so I just let it go and again started to follow them.

This time, one of our girls, Biny, disappeared into a thick shrub along a faintly visible animal track. Almost immediately, she returned, carrying a fat marmot. She put the already dead beast into a string bag, and adeptly set up a new trap along another animal track. To me, her sturdy and cleverly hidden trap looked much better than Jock's trap had been! Only, how did I know this, while I had never before set a trap or folded a snare during my present life? This was very strange...

Now, one of our youngest boys, Jonno, disappeared behind one of the surrounding bushes. Soon, he returned with a rather disappointed face, shaking his head because his snare was still empty. He took the same snare, and clumsily set up another trap at the back of the same bush. Involuntarily, I shook my head, because my bright brain thought that Jonno would never be a good trapper. He was acting too clumsy, and his still visible trap would probably warn any wary animals from miles away!

Again feeling surprised, I shook my head to get rid of my strange thoughts. How did I know how a good trap should look, while I had never set up a trap myself? This was becoming more and more eerie; unless my built-in 'little trapper boy' could have a hand in it.

For quite some time, we went on and on, on our way also looking for edible nuts, fresh footprints, or interesting animal tracks. One by one, all our minors disappeared into a shrub; to look after their snare, collect the next animal, and set up a new trap. Only now and then, a trap turned out to be empty, but the kid just shrugged it off and set up a new trap along another track. Mostly, the snare had done its work, and another beast was added to our already steadily filling string bags.

One time, everybody started to laugh and point at the next kid:

"Look, Jaspi caught a rat! Jaspi is a ratter, Jaspi is a ratter..."

Glaring at his teasing friends with a disappointed face, Jaspi threw the dead rat far away into a thorn bush. Of course, all of us knew that rats could infect us with several nasty diseases. Therefore, we never ate any roasted rat meat, not even if we were totally out of food, extremely hungry, and nearly starving to death! Still looking a bit sour, Jaspi set a new trap along another animal track. Then, we went on again, looking after our traps, collecting small animals, and setting our new traps, mostly along other fresh animal tracks.

All the time, I tried to observe how our most experienced trappers were folding their snares, attaching them to nearby branches, and covering them with forest litter. Every time, I tried to understand what my friends were doing, and why they were doing it exactly like this. Now and then, I even thought they were making small mistakes, so that my inside was sure I could have done better...

Again, I started to wonder how I knew how to set a trap and how to make it invisible to any wary animals, without ever having set such a trap myself. This was very strange, unless I really had been a 'little trapper boy' during my past life, so that my unconscious mind was still remembering my own trapper skills from my own past incarnation.

Around noon, all my minor friends had emptied their traps and set new ones. Our by now very heavy string bags were filled to the brim with caught animals, and a couple of our strongest boys were carrying them on their shoulders, now and then switching turns. Clearly, we were ready for today, and I thought we would go home now. As our appointed Chef Cook, I would first go into our surrounding bushes and gather several nicely tasting herbs, to spice their roasting animal meat. Then, all my new minor friends would again offer me a fat chunk of their own roasted animals, so that I too could fill my own already hungry stomach to the brim.

Only, very much to my surprise, nobody went home! Clearly, all my minor friends were still waiting for something else to happen first, whilst staring at ME... Why were my minor friends looking at me so funny? What were they waiting for, or what could they be expecting from me? Had I done something wrong, maybe unknowingly, and would they now tell me I was still too young to be a real trapper, and therefore had to leave their group and go home to play with our little 'infants' or 'toddlers'? Only, I didn't WANT to leave my new group of minors who also started to feel like friends! What should I do now?

Fortunately, just before I really started to panic, my friend Misha stepped towards me, first put a warm hand on my shoulder, and then pointed to a small hill while he asked me:

"Harold? Do you want to set up your own trap now, perhaps on that small hill over there, next to that faint animal track?"