I am only a little Gypsy 1 - Reincarnation, does it exist? - 30. Chapter 30. Hide and seek; and another little Shaman.

That night, I couldn't sleep but only thrashed around and around in my bed. All the time, I thought about tomorrow morning, when our older minors would visit such an interesting gadjo town to beg there for food or money, and only I and a few other too young kids had to stay in our camp, to accompany our little infants and toddlers. Why was life this harsh to an already extremely mature and way too clever Crown Prince that unfortunately was still less than seven years old? At long last, I fell asleep, but soon started to dream about visiting a huge 'gadjo camp' that was full of enormous multi-story caravans without any attached cartwheels to drive them away.

The next morning, my Dad woke me up early, but I was still mad at him and therefore stubbornly refused to leave my bed. Why should I dress and go outside to join my usual group of minors, while all of them would leave me and go visit such an interesting gadjo town? Only Jonno and two other too young minors would stay in our camp, because they too weren't old enough. Therefore, this morning, I didn't even WANT to see our probably over-enthusiastic minors leave our camp and go visit the so mysterious gadjo world. Seeing their happy faces, while I had to stay at home and probably had to play with our little infants and toddlers, would only make me feel even sadder!

My worried looking Mom showed up in my sleeping den and tried to persuade me to eat some leftover breakfast she had cooked for me. However, I just refused to leave my bed, and told her I wasn't hungry and only wanted to be left alone! My Mom became frustrated and a bit angry, turned her back towards me, and called me 'pigheaded'...

This time, I rose from under my blankets and stared my Mom down in sudden ire. Switching into my 'brainiac mode', I told her she was wrong, because my human head absolutely didn't look like the head of a pig, plus my body looked like a Gypsy boy and certainly NOT like some fat animal! Had my Mom never really looked at her own son? Besides, next to being her son, I also resembled HER. Therefore, if I looked like a pig, she had to look like a pig too!

This time, my more and more frustrated looking Mom started to swallow nervously, clearly because she didn't dare utter another word. Good Mom! Finally, you are learning not to mess with my clever brainiac brain... From our living room, my Dad started to laugh at my still nervously swallowing Mom, while he told her:

"Never try to outdo our son when he switches into his 'brainiac mode'! You will only make a fool of yourself. Just leave him alone until he gets bored and then stops being stubborn..."

Thank you, Dad; that was exactly what I had tried to make clear to my still nervously swallowing Mom! Again, I disappeared under my blankets, turned my back to the world, and tried to get some more sleep. Only, now that I was awake and felt bored, my body started to feel too restless, so that I only tossed around aimlessly whilst trying to keep my head under a pillow. Plus, my hunger was still gnawing, so that I thought about leaving my bed and try out my Mom's leftover breakfast. However, despite feeling both hungry and frustrated, my inside felt still too angry and too stubborn to give in.

Pigheaded? Who? Me?

From outside our caravan, I heard Michail's enormous truck pull up from our parking lot and enter our circle of caravans! This time, my curiosity won over my frustration, so that I jumped out of bed and raced to our living room, to take a look through our windows. There was Michail's truck, this time with one of our spare caravans attached and waiting for our minors to bring them to their nearby gadjo town. Several minors were already waiting outside, this time dressed in their neatest clothes...

In a record time, I dressed into my winter clothes and stormed outside, to say goodbye to our minors before they left, because my inside felt as if I already missed them. With happy looking faces, all of them greeted me, although Misha sounded sad when he told me he would miss me...

Yeah well, I would certainly miss HIM! Feeling sad, I went to Misha, wished him a good begging, and then hugged him fiercely, to let him know I wasn't mad at him for going to that gadjo town whilst leaving me alone. Much to my surprise, Misha got tears in his eyes, just before he quickly turned around and hastily entered the attached caravan. Would my older friend and very experienced trapper guide really miss me that much? Well, I would certainly miss him and all my other minor friends!

Several older minors followed Misha into their attached caravan, accompanied by Jonno's father, while my Big Friend Michail helped a couple of younger kids climb into the backseat of his enormous truck, from where they looked outside with beaming faces and waved at us from behind the car panes. After first counting their noses, clearly to play it safe, Michail entered his enormous truck, tooted his horn, and then his truck-and-caravan combination gunned up, left our camp, and slowly disappeared into our surrounding woods.

Only our too young children stayed behind, including me, looking longingly at our already disappearing minors who continued to wave at us until we couldn’t see each other anymore. A moment later, several smaller cars left our parking lot and drove into our circle of caravans. Quickly, they filled up with grownups who went visiting another gadjo town, to try to gather lots of valuable gadjo goods, but only from really rich gadjo people who wouldn't miss them anyway. Within a few days from now, they would sell the gathered goods in another gadjo town, to be able to buy enough gadjo food and warm clothes for us to survive our now quickly approaching cold winter.

This time, both my Mom and my Dad accompanied them towards their far-away gadjo town, so that only a few older women stayed in our nearly empty camp, to look after our youngest kids. One by one, all our cars disappeared into our surrounding woods and followed Michail's enormous truck towards the gadjo world. Not even a second later, our entire camp felt like being totally deserted...

In the meantime, a few older women had already prepared some leftovers, by warming them over our campfire. Soon, a nice scenting aroma started to waft into the air and made our stomachs rumble, so that all our left behind kids crowded around the older women whilst rubbing their empty tummies. Albeit reluctantly, I joined them to get my own share, mainly because my empty stomach was still gnawing. Every single kid got some nicely warmed stew on one of the many cheap cardboard plates we still had in stock. Eagerly, we started to eat our scanty meal, whilst trying to make the little bit of food last as long as we could. The warmed stew helped somewhat to dispel our still yearning hunger, but unfortunately not enough.

After finishing their scanty meal, several infants huddled together around our big tree, clearly to start playing their usual games of hide and seek. For a split second, I thought about joining them... but then, my pigheaded inside decided that I still didn't feel like playing with those 'babies', but only wanted to be alone. Therefore, after emptying my plate, I just turned around and left our camp, without looking back.

Feeling abandoned and lonely, whilst involuntarily getting tears in my eyes from self-pity, I entered our surrounding bushes, because I didn't want to play any funny games while all my minor friends had lots of fun with begging in their gadjo town. Plus, I already missed my older friend Misha terribly! Slowly, I sauntered along our usual winding path towards our 'cathedral clearing'. Because, inside the empty clearing, I started to feel even more alone, I immediately turned to the left and followed the other winding path towards our waterfall.

After reaching our waterfall ravine, I slumped down on top of one of its mossy ridges. From there, I stared at the splendid colors of its beautifully foaming and wildly splashing water curtain. Only, today, I didn't see any beauty, because my eyes were filling more and more with tears of frustration. A few times, I tried to wipe them away with the backs of my hands, but they returned immediately. At last, I just let them drip, and only now and then sniffled some or blew my runny nose in a few tufts of moss. All the time, my sad thoughts were about why life had to be so extremely cruel to a certain little Gypsy Crown Prince that had been deemed 'too young' to join his minor friends into their mysterious gadjo world to beg there for food or money.

For quite some time, my inner dialogue just went on moping and feeling disappointed. Why was my tiny body still such an impossible 'little runt'? For a nearly five-year-old kid, my frame was still way too immature, although all my thoroughly trained muscles were strong enough to win every wrestling contest, even with much older kids. When would I finally start growing up some more and have my first 'growth spurt', as my older friend Misha once predicted, so that my Dad would allow me to join our minors towards the mysterious gadjo world? Would I really have to wait until I became seven years old? I knew that my own Dad could be extremely 'pigheaded' too, just like I seemed to be. Ultimately, he and I WERE father and son...

Because I started to feel bored from all my moping and thinking, I gathered a couple of small pebbles and started to throw them into the water stream beneath my feet, trying to hit a certain boulder. After some training, I was able to hit the same boulder over and again, and surprisingly accurately. Now that I had reached this goal, I gathered even more pebbles and tried to hit a tree leaf at a respectable distance across the ravine. This new goal turned out to be much more difficult, but hitting such a far-away target was also a lot more fun. At last, I stood upright, to be able to aim my pebbles even more precisely towards the almost rotten leaf that defiantly refused to fall down from its branch, as its brethren had already done during fall.

After hitting the same rebellious leaf several times in a row without ever missing, it finally gave up and swirled towards the ground! Feeling triumphant, I never knew I could be this good at aiming, although I had already trained myself before, by throwing pebbles at a burning log in our campfire and throwing snowballs at my friends. My special friend Misha would certainly be very proud of his little trapper companion...

Suddenly feeling sad again, I threw the rest of my pebbles away and slumped down on my mossy ridge, with my head in my hands. Again, I started to mope. Why couldn't my older friend Misha be here to join my game of throwing pebbles, and share in my triumph? Why couldn't I be with Misha today, to help him beg for food or money in that gadjo town? Would Misha already miss me? I certainly missed HIM!

For the umpteenth time, I tried to remember what exactly Misha had told me about growing young kids having their first 'growth spurt'. When would I have MY first growth spurt and finally grow quite a lot taller, probably overnight? Or, would I always be such an impossible 'little runt', for the remainder of my life, and never be allowed to visit any gadjo towns at all?

Although I knew that I was now thinking nonsense, my irrational thoughts only made me feel even sadder. By now, Misha and all his friends were already having lots of fun in that mysterious gadjo town, whilst in the meantime I had to bore myself to death, because my Dad had dictated that I was still too small and too young to join them... Involuntarily, my already puffy eyes started to tear up again, but I wiped them angrily with another tuft of moss. I might be still such an impossible 'little runt', but I was NOT a crybaby!

After quite some time of moping, feeling sad, and sometimes also sobbing on my mossy ridge, my still working Shaman abilities sensed another human presence that silently approached me from behind. Clearly, one of our older women had decided to find out what could be happening to their unexpectedly disappeared little Crown Prince. Tentatively, she approached my mossy ridge, where she just slumped down next to me, without saying a word. Stealthily, I peeked at the silently waiting woman next to me. What did she want from me? By using my inherited Shaman abilities to read her mind, I found out that she felt a bit worried about me, plus she wondered why I suddenly disappeared after eating my own share of warmed stew.

Well, she certainly didn't need to feel worried about me, because I was perfectly able to amuse myself around here, without any so-called help from anybody else! I also didn't need any older people from our nearly empty camp to cheer me up. Only my older friend Misha would be able to do that... Involuntarily, my already puffy eyes started to tear up again. Quickly, I bit my tongue and regulated my shallow breath to repress my unwanted emotions, and then swallowed my upcoming tears away, because I didn't want her to think I could be one of those other 'toddlers' that she had to look after in our camp...

At that moment, the older woman turned towards me and tentatively ruffled my unruly blond hair, as if she tried to encourage me. Then, with a warm sounding voice, she asked me:

"Why don't you join your playing friends in our camp? They've already asked about you, several times in a row, and one of them told me they are missing you during their usual games of hide and seek, because you are still their best hider and seeker ever..."

Whilst forcing my face to show her a feeble smile, I explained:

"Today, I don't feel like playing with those little infants, because Misha is my older friend, and together we always have lots of fun. Therefore, I had wanted to join Misha towards that nearby gadjo town, to help him beg for even more food and money."

Very much to my own consternation, I nearly started to cry again. Therefore, I quickly bit my tongue, to repress my sobbing. Hoping the older woman hadn't seen my welling tears or heard my muffled sobs, I furtively wiped my eyes dry with the backs of my hands, because I still didn't want to look like some ordinary crybaby, and certainly not in her eyes! Fortunately, she hadn't seen my tears or heard my sobs, because she smiled back at me whilst proffering me a helping hand.

Still feeling unwilling, I took her inviting hand and let myself be dragged upright from my mossy ridge. Perhaps, going back to our camp and looking at our playing infants would pass the time faster than just sitting here moping and feeling sadder and sadder would do. Hand in hand, we returned to our circle of wooden benches; where, very much to my relief, all the others only smiled at me. Surprisingly, they seemed to be truly happy to see me back!

But, first, one of the women offered me a steaming and nicely scenting cup of soup. Wow, that was a very welcome surprise! Now, I felt even more thankful for returning to our campfire without making too much of a fuss. Already feeling happier, I sat down and started to sip my soup. After emptying my cup and wiping some stray droplets from my chin, I started to look around. Of course, our infants were still playing their usual games of hide and seek around our caravans. When I was still such an infant myself, I had joined our games around our circle of caravans nearly every day. At that time, I had been really good at hiding, and all our seekers always had a lot of difficulty finding me. However, now that I belonged to our group of minors, I was feeling both too mature and too old to play those silly infant games anymore...

Involuntarily feeling bored again, I restarted to mope and feel sad. Why did my young life have to be so empty, while probably all our minors had lots of fun in that mysterious gadjo world? Why hadn't my Dad allowed me to accompany my older friend Misha to that town, to help him beg? This wasn't fair!

After a few minutes of moping and feeling bored, our six-year-old Jonno approached me, accompanied by another minor of around the same age. Although they had to be at least a year older than I was, my bright brain still thought of them as being much younger. Could it be because I was our Crown Prince, or was my inside really feeling more mature than they were? Probably, my bright brainiac brain was again in the way and confusing me about our real ages.

In the meantime, both boys looked at me pleadingly, until Jonno politely asked me:

"Prince Harold, could you please come over and join us? Playing hide and seek is always a lot more fun when you are around."

Still feeling too bored and too sad to care, I responded:

"Sorry, Jonno, but I don't feel like joining you today, because I had wanted to join Misha to that nearby gadjo town."

"I know; but, now that you are here anyway, could you please join us, because you are still our very best hider and seeker. Please?"

"Well... Okay, let's do it! Who will be our next seeker, and are we still using the same appointed borders?"

Immediately when I showed up in their midst, all our infants left their games and crowded around me whilst cheering loudly! Looking happy, they told me they had missed me terribly, but now I was back in their midst! Triumphantly, they took me to our big tree, where Jonno's friend turned out to be our next seeker.

To be honest, during the remainder of the day, I had quite a lot more fun than I could have imagined that morning! Some time later, Jonno's friend had looked everywhere and searched through all the surrounding bushes at least three times. One time, he nearly tripped over my legs that were buried under some fallen leaves and forest litter, but he still didn't see me. At last, he started to feel frustrated, gave up, and asked a couple of his friends to help him find their cleverly hidden little Prince. When they too started to feel frustrated, they decided to call me and asked me to show up in victory.

Triumphantly, I emerged from within a shrub that was only a few steps away, and brushed some forest litter from my clothes. All our infants cheered again, high-fived me, and told me I was still the best hider they ever knew! Clearly, I was still very good at our games of hide and seek; because they had done their utmost to find me. Of course, as I once promised our Wise Woman, I had NOT cheated on them, nor blurred their visual minds so that they didn't see me anymore; because, last year, I had promised to use my inherited Shaman abilities only in case of a real emergency.

Finally feeling happy again, I chose to be our next seeker, went to our big tree, closed my eyes, and counted to twenty. In the meantime, all our hiders hastily scurried away, to find a proper hiding place before I opened my eyes and started looking for them. Of course, because I had my eyes closed and absolutely didn't want to cheat on them; I really couldn't see them anymore. However, I could still sense their emanating energies spreading out into many different directions. Experimentally, I tried to see Jonno's energy with my 'inner eyes', by focusing on his enveloping aura. Very much to my happiness, I could really 'see' Jonno's energy field first going to our campfire and from there clumsily hiding behind one of the older women.

After counting to twenty, I reopened my eyes and started to look around. Immediately, I saw Jonno who had squatted down behind an older woman, just as I had seen him with my inner eyes. However, because I hadn't given him a fair chance, I pretended not to see him. Then, one of the other boys moved his arm behind a cartwheel, and I saw him and called his name. With a disappointed face, the boy showed up and went to our big tree, while I tagged our disappointed looking Jonno. Because I had been playing hide and seek hundreds of times before, I still knew every single nook and cranny in our camp. Therefore, it was still easy for me to search in, up, and under all our 'secret' hiding places, and tag all our hiders almost effortlessly.

One by one, I found all our hiders and tagged them; or, in case I didn't know any newcomer's name, I just called 'you there'. Then, they showed up and joined their already tagged friends around our big tree, waiting for me to find and tag the still hiding others. Of course, they secretly hoped I would give up and ask them for help, although that would be for the first time ever.

After tagging what I thought was our last hiding kid, I was sure I had found and tagged all of them, and therefore stopped. I had had quite a lot of fun, didn't want to be our seeker a second time, and therefore told the others to form a circle and start voting for the next seeker.

However, one of the kids was still looking around with a surprised face, until he asked me:

"Where is little Dimi? Didn't you tag him?"

Feeling a bit surprised, I asked the kid:

"Who is 'little Dimi'? Should I know him?"

"Little Dimi is the new boy who joins us today for the first time. Although he is only four years old, he seems to be very good at hiding. Therefore, I'm not surprised that you couldn't find him yet..."

"Then, let's find that four-year-old 'little Dimi' and tag him as well, because I don't want to be our seeker a second time."

Still feeling surprised, I immediately restarted searching, by again looking in and under all our known hiding places. However, even after quite some time, I still couldn't find that 'little Dimi', although I had already scrutinized all our known hiding places at least three times. Where the heck could that new boy be hiding? Should I give up searching and start using my inherited Shaman abilities again, as I had done several times before in my past, to look for any hidden auras in our camp? What else could I do, to find such a cleverly hidden new boy who seemed to have vanished into thin air?

Because I still didn't want to break my promise of not using my Shaman abilities anymore, unless in case of a real emergency, I started to think first. Could that 'little Dimi' cheat on us, perhaps by hiding outside our appointed borders, or by secretly leaving our group without warning me first? Perhaps, he went into his own caravan, although he should know we never did such a thing without warning the others first, because we then risked to be 'banned for life'? Perhaps, because that new boy was only four years old, he didn't understand our simple hiding rules? Or, could he be a little bit 'retarded', as our grownups once told me some poorly nourished gadjo children seemed to be whilst scouring their dirty gadjo streets?

By now, a few others had already started helping me search for the hiding new boy. Although they too searched through every nook and cranny of our camp, they just couldn't find him either. After helping me search even up and under our caravans, at last, they too gave up and looked at me with questioning faces...

Should I now give up, as all the others seemed to be waiting for, and call for that too cleverly hiding 'little Dimi' to show up in triumph and laugh at my idle tries to find and tag him? Besides, could the uneasy sensation that I now felt in my stomach, be the same unhappy feeling that my frustrated friends always felt after they couldn't find ME and had to give up searching and ask me to show up and laugh at their idle tries?

Suddenly feeling even more pigheaded, I decided NOT to give up searching on behalf of such a little toddler that had to be at least a few months younger than I was, for crying out loud! Perhaps, I was again acting too stubborn, but my built-in 'inner pride' just plainly refused to let such a little cheater triumph! Hmm... could really 'little Dimi' be cheating on me?

Feeling more and more frustrated, I turned towards the impatiently waiting others and asked them:

"Before I give up and ask 'little Dimi' to show up in victory, I first want to be absolutely sure that he plays fair! Perhaps, he has left our secluded camp, or he is hiding outside our appointed borders, or he has entered one of our caravans without warning us first?"

At that moment, another kid started to laugh while he told me:

"I know where Dimi hides, because I saw him doing it, but I'm not going to tell you where he is, because I'm not a tattler. I can only tell you that Dimi IS playing fair, but you cannot find him because he is an even better hider than you once were."

At hearing those deliberately scoffing words, I felt now even more determined to find that little cheater! Since my first days of playing hide and seek, I had always been able to find every single hider, and I wanted to go on with that tradition. Therefore, from this moment on, I would use every single 'sneaky trick' or 'dirty Shaman ability' that I could think of, to find that cheating 'little Dimi' and tag him, before all the others started laughing at me for giving up, for the first time ever. In my offended eyes, this WAS a real emergency!