Cozy Contemplations - 24. Chapter 24 Voices

Those last lines hit really hard. Very well written, Gary  

and sometimes the voices are just as welcomed, being silent words on a screen. 

Wow, I really like this, sometimes it is us that need to reach out and let our voice hear.  I love your cozy contemplations, they make me think and act.

The one voice I wish would remain silent is my own--reminding me mentally of all the things I could/should have done better...or left undone.  Sometimes you know this as soon as it's too late to undo, other times you take longer to figure itout--but the time has passed.  Words once said cannot be un-said, however much we may wish...and if in time forgiveness is given, things are still tainted with echoes.

As we grow older, the longed-for voices diminish due to the passage of time, while those of annoyances remain or increase; I have my answering machine to take all calls--I won't pick up unless it's someone I know.  I have no desire, however lonely I may be, to listen to pollsters, salesmen or wanna-be knee-breaking institutions wanting to be given their pound of flesh when funds are late.

I shame-facedly confess to my own being one of those silent voices...I will email rather than take the time to indulge in a far more personal telephone call.  Gary well knows my penchant for chat when he'd call me when I was in rehab after my surgeries...he probably had to take out a loan to call me weekly to raise my spirits and keep me involved in the antics of friends here.  We'd agree to talk no longer than a half hour, but I think the shortest we got away with was two and a half. 

Sadly, some voices are silent not due to passing, but to not accepting us for who we are--my father was one of those; I didn't hear from him for his last thirteen years after he found out my sexuality.  My mother, on the other hand, pretty much knew and didn't care...and we talked daily.  Indeed, I spent her last week by her hospital bedside, though the last two she no longer knew who was there.  That's one of the two voices I will miss 'til my last day.

Don't be a 'silent voice' if the listener is still available....    

19 hours ago, LitLover said:

It’s usually the voice you want to hear the most that is conspicuous in its absence.  Sometimes it’s up to you to reach out because they miss your voice too... sometimes we no longer have the chance.  

Yes... sometimes we no longer have the chance... and sometimes we get too much into our own heads. And sometimes, there is too much of a cost to pay when we hear a voice estranged from our life. Thanks, Lit...  

19 hours ago, Caz Pedroso said:

Those last lines hit really hard. Very well written, Gary  

Thanks, Caz. I expected someone would say this one didn't belong in Cozy Contemplations, given those last lines... and they would have a point. Sometimes, feeling melancholy is okay.  

19 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

All the sound of the world is mere noise compared to the voice of the one we want to hear. You wrote this so beautifully and well. Thank you. 

While that noise is empty in comparison, it does give the illusion we are not alone... and that allows many of us to get through the tough times. But yes, it is a poor substitution for the voices we miss. Thanks, Parker.  

18 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

  The last line is quite true and one I relate to well.  Nice job.  

I'm pleased you related to this, Val. Thank you.  

14 hours ago, mogwhy said:

and sometimes the voices are just as welcomed, being silent words on a screen. 

Oh yes, absolutely. I learned a long time ago just how much the voices of my online friends mean to me.     Thanks, moggy.  

13 hours ago, Job said:

Wow, I really like this, sometimes it is us that need to reach out and let our voice hear.  I love your cozy contemplations, they make me think and act.

You're right, Job. Sometimes it's us that must reach out, if it's still possible, and we can handle the consequences. Life often requires courage, or at least the ignoring of fear, in order to move forward. Thanks, buddy.  

8 hours ago, ColumbusGuy said:

The one voice I wish would remain silent is my own--reminding me mentally of all the things I could/should have done better...or left undone.  Sometimes you know this as soon as it's too late to undo, other times you take longer to figure itout--but the time has passed.  Words once said cannot be un-said, however much we may wish...and if in time forgiveness is given, things are still tainted with echoes.

As we grow older, the longed-for voices diminish due to the passage of time, while those of annoyances remain or increase; I have my answering machine to take all calls--I won't pick up unless it's someone I know.  I have no desire, however lonely I may be, to listen to pollsters, salesmen or wanna-be knee-breaking institutions wanting to be given their pound of flesh when funds are late.

I shame-facedly confess to my own being one of those silent voices...I will email rather than take the time to indulge in a far more personal telephone call.  Gary well knows my penchant for chat when he'd call me when I was in rehab after my surgeries...he probably had to take out a loan to call me weekly to raise my spirits and keep me involved in the antics of friends here.  We'd agree to talk no longer than a half hour, but I think the shortest we got away with was two and a half. 

Sadly, some voices are silent not due to passing, but to not accepting us for who we are--my father was one of those; I didn't hear from him for his last thirteen years after he found out my sexuality.  My mother, on the other hand, pretty much knew and didn't care...and we talked daily.  Indeed, I spent her last week by her hospital bedside, though the last two she no longer knew who was there.  That's one of the two voices I will miss 'til my last day.

Don't be a 'silent voice' if the listener is still available....    

Regrets fade, but I don't think ever completely leave. I have mine too... huge ones, but most days, diversions keep them at bay. You say this beautifully, CG. I hate the phone as well, but once in a while I get a call that lifts me up, reminding me I'm still part of a bigger picture.   Yet, I choose to email, like you do. I loved our conversations, buddy, at any cost, and I recall much of them... we both have that same penchant for yapping.   

What I wouldn't give to hear my Mom's voice again, and my Stepdad's, but it's not possible, so I make do with my memories of them, knowing what they'd say if they could. As always, your comment touches on so many things I relate to... thank you, CG... you leave us with good advice.  

@ColumbusGuy, Thank you for what you wrote! It made me think of things I left unsaid or undone. You're a good man. I was smiling when you wrote about you and Gary talking for a long time on the phone. I have friends that are living in the US and some of them are old friends. With some, I go back 41 years. So when we call each other, we talk for at least 2- 3 hours. And there are no awkward silences, it just feels like we talked the other day. Again, thank you for your comment.

10 minutes ago, Job said:

@ColumbusGuy, Thank you for what you wrote! It made me think of things I left unsaid or undone. You're a good man. I was smiling when you wrote about you and Gary talking for a long time on the phone. I have friends that are living in the US and some of them are old friends. With some, I go back 41 years. So when we call each other, we talk for at least 2- 3 hours. And there are no awkward silences, it just feels like we talked the other day. Again, thank you for your comment.

CG is a good man... the best. I am lucky to count him as my friend.