TetRefine

See, I told you, it's a stupidly overdrawn book. Now imagine forcing yourself to slog through 400 pages before tapping out...

City On Fire, by Garth Risk Hallberg. I was so excited when this novel first came out, and it had so much meat for a great story: 1970s New York, murder, subcultures, straight and gay characters, class, race. It was so highly anticipated that Hallberg received a $2 million advance for it, his debut novel. However, the novel itself was a long, drawn-out mess that meandered aimlessly for pages on end. The author also thought he was showing what a high-brow literary turd he was by injecting all kinds of completely obscure words into the narrative that you constantly had to stop to look up to understand what was going on. I got to about page 400 and couldn't do it anymore. The novel got a very big heaping of criticism from literary critics and general readers alike, and for good reason. They also recently made it into an Apple TV+ series, and not surprisingly, it was also awful and cancelled after the first season. I just looked up the author on Amazon, and he came out with his second novel just this year, 9 years after this one. Looking on Amazon, it has a measly 24 ratings and 3.5 stars, which is pretty pitiful for an author who was hailed as the next great thing a decade ago. If you read through the reviews, a lot of the negative feedback is for the exact same issues he faced with City on Fire. I guess he didn't learn much, and the lack of success for his second novel proves it.

It is better, in general, to be at the bottom of the SES ladder in the UK. They have broader social safety nets, compared to the bare bones system that exists in the US. However, being Upper Middle Class and above in the US is leaps and bounds ahead of the UK in terms of access to very high-paying jobs, a much stronger and more innovative economy, and choices to live (ie, not just London). Not to mention taxes.

State liquor monopolies tend to be cheaper though, ironically. I grew up in a liquor-control state, and liquor was significantly cheaper (10-20%) than any other surrounding state. My hometown was in a tri-state corner, and on any given day, over half the cars in the liquor store parking lot were out of state plates buying liquor in bulk to bring back home. Also, a lack of air conditioning. In the USA, whether you live in the Northeast, Southwest, or the Great Plains, everyone has some form of air conditioning. In the UK, it just isn't a thing.

Delaney also wrote a couple of very bizarre novels as well, including The Mad Man and Hogg. I tried reading both at one point, and it was too much even for me (and I am far from being a prude).

I am honestly shocked, as I somehow missed this from over a year ago. I talked to Carlos a lot over the years, and even though we were over 30+ years apart, he was so easy and likable to talk to. He always told me I reminded him a lot of him in his younger days, and I always loved telling him my stories of dancing endlessly at circuit parties, the guys I had gone to bed with, and how we juggled the demands of work and play. I think he lived vicariously through me when I was in my 20s. God damn. We always talked about meeting up, as he sometimes traveled up here to New York, and I was in Fort Lauderdale almost every year, but we never quite made it to meeting in person. I always really wanted to grab a drink and talk in-person, and now I'll never get that chance.

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I'm not sure if it has been mentioned but... American Horror Story: NYC was very well done, and hit on so many gay themes that (while taking place in the 80s and being a foreshadow of AIDS) still very much resonate. The last episode left me absolutely terrified and sad. I talked to a lot of friends about it, and what we all found so unsettling was realizing the fact that all the tragedy in the last few episodes would have been us had we come of age in the 80s. It was only by pure chance that we were born when we were, because if we hadn't then all of us would be going into a coffin with them. Something from Hollywood hasn't made me feel that kind of way in a long, long time.

This truly made me sad to hear. Both my parents love his music, and I grew up listening to it from as young as I can remember. When I was younger, they'd go every year to one of his concerts, and I always got dropped off with the grandparents for the night, pissed beyond belief I couldn't go. My dad always promised me he'd take me when I was older, but we never did end up going. I'm truly sad I never got to see him in concert.

But I've found that to be true of all big cities. When I lived in Philly, the gay club/bar scene was thriving. Traveled to LA, SF, Chicago, Miami, and a bunch of other cities, and gay nightlife is still very much a thing. You simply need a critical mass of people. True, New York City often feels like another country when compared to 95% of the rest of the US. The longer I've lived here, the more I realize I don't have much in common with the "typical" American living somewhere in rural/flyover country. I'll have much more in common with someone from London or Tokyo or Sao Paolo then I would with someone from Mississippi or Indiana or wherever.

I mean, that's kind of exaggerated. When I was single, I'd go out with friends every weekend and it was a pretty common occurrence for us to go home with people we met that night (and this was as late as last year). It's still like that now, and hell, at some places you can just go to the bathroom and do it. At least here in New York, the gay-specific night life scene is thriving and not going anywhere.

Lmao, I know who they are, and 95% sure this was taken at Folsom (of which is one of my favorite events of the travel year).

The last time I knew my actual number was when I graduated from college, and it was 10. Nine years later, and that number has increased 25-30ish fold. I go through cycles, sometimes having tons of sex with lots of different people, tons of sex with only a few people, tons of sex with only one person, or any combination. I've spent my entire adult life in big cities with lots of men, and sex is easy, very, very easy. Like it or not, it's a primary tenant of gay culture. I've never felt (and refuse to ever feel) shame for having sex, who I have sex with, what I do during sex, or how many times I have it. I don't attach romantic emotions to sex, and I do it because I like it. It meets a primal physical and psychological need that nothing else can scratch quite like it can. We all also do it to feed our ego, as that dopamine rush of knowing that hot guy wants to fuck you is that cheap, intense natural high we all love. I have a long term partner now, so naturally the large majority of my sexual time is with him. When I do sleep with others, it is almost always with guys who I have already done it with before and I know I have chemistry with. My days of having tons of one-offs with random guys I meet off Grindr or at parties are largely over (and thankfully so).

It was. Ended in 2015, and last time I saw or spoke to him was randomly running into him at a bar here in New York in 2018.

Some of my personal suggestions off the top of my head: Dancer From The Dance, by Andrew Holleran The Lost Language Of Cranes, by David Leavitt Christadora, by Tim Murphy Our Young Man, Edmund White City Of Night, John Rechy Like People In History, by Felice Picano Some Dance To Remember, Jack Fritscher