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What a boring life!


LittleBuddhaTW

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I've had even more free time than usual over the past couple of weeks (and I had *tons* of free time before that!), but now that I have even more free time, the lazier and lazier I've become. I mean ... I *should* be finishing my thesis, but I just don't feel inspired. There are also a couple of other projects that I'm interested in, but I don't want to get caught up in any of those until my thesis is finished ... kind of like a Catch-22, I suppose.

 

Anyway, one of the projects I want to work on is a paper (in Chinese) for the academic journal Chung-wai Literature. I'd like to write a summary/book review of a really great book that came out last year called The New Gay Teenager (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2005). It's a really fascinating look at the "new gay culture" among teenagers in America, how they define/categorize themselves, and in general how American society has changed ... and in terms of gay youth and homosexual studies in general, things have changed *a lot* since I was in high school (9 years ago seems sooo long! hehe) Anyway, it's a really excellent book that I recommend to anyone, and it presents a fairly new theory called "personal trajectory," which is a bit different from the old "Social Constructionism" and "Essentialism" theories that were the main focus of gay studies only a decade ago.

 

I guess I just need to find some sort of focus or inspiration ... or find my center again. I've even run out of new stories to read online, so I really have no idea what to do with myself. I KNOW I should just finish up with the last half a chapter and conclusion of my thesis ... if I really dedicated myself, I could finish it up within a week ... but after writing so much already over the past year, I just don't have the energy to do it. And to top that off, once that's finished, I have to start preparing for the entrance exam for the Ph.D. program, which will cover the history of Chinese literature ... and there's over 2,500 years of that to cover ... so, it's not going to be that easy. I also have to give an oral defense of my thesis twice, once for my M.A. degree exam, and again for the Ph.D. program entrance exam. That shouldn't be too bad, because I like to debate ... the only thing I'm worried about is getting some 80-year old homophobic professor on the committee who will shoot down my research just because it's "gay" ... oh well ... I think my research is solid, so I shouldn't worry.

 

But besides all of this academic crap, I just really need to get a more interesting life. I had SO much fun in high school and college, tons of friends, was always going out and having fun ... and now everything is so different. It was a bit better when I was working and had stuff to do, but now I only work 6-9 hours/week (I have a scholarship so I don't need the money), so I just sit around ... and I don't know very many intellectually stimulating people ... and Taiwanese boys can just be *weird* sometimes ... so I just need to figure out what I want to do with myself now ... **sigh**

3 Comments


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Heya David

 

I can relate to you having very little to do and being bored and not being motivated to finish your thesis.

 

Us human beings are funny things, aren't we? When we are really busy, we seem to fit more things into our schedules than possible, and when we have little to do, we don't feel motivated to do anything at all! :blink:

 

But I'm sure that something will happen to fire you up again, so you can finish your work.

 

new theory called "personal trajectory," which is a bit different from the old "Social Constructionism" and "Essentialism" theories that were the main focus of gay studies only a decade ago

 

David, I'm not as clever or as decorative as some people around here but I was wondering if you can explain what 'personal trajectory', 'social constructionism' and 'essentialism' means?

 

Cheers

Bev

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Heya David

 

I can relate to you having very little to do and being bored and not being motivated to finish your thesis.

 

Us human beings are funny things, aren't we? When we are really busy, we seem to fit more things into our schedules than possible, and when we have little to do, we don't feel motivated to do anything at all! :blink:

 

But I'm sure that something will happen to fire you up again, so you can finish your work.

David, I'm not as clever or as decorative as some people around here but I was wondering if you can explain what 'personal trajectory', 'social constructionism' and 'essentialism' means?

 

Cheers

Bev

[sarcasm]

social constructivism: society made me do it

essentialism: nature made me do it

personal trajectory: I did it but so what it don't make me queer

 

missed out in the original...

 

performativity theory: drag queens made me do it

 

[/sarcasm]

 

Social constructivism: identities are constructed in the context of and by means of social interactions. They have no foundation other than social context. (In extreme versions it's not even all social interaction, just "discourse" - don't ask)

 

Essentialism: identities exist and are formed independantly of social context. They constitute part of us as natural beings. What we are determines what we do and become.

 

Personal trajectory: who the hell knows!

 

I don't want to be cynical but it's really a reflection of the lack of wider coherence in both politics and sociology as a discipline. Lacking the ideological foundation to assert either constructivist or essentialist accounts of identity, researchers pursue specificity to the point of impressionistic empiricism (note to self: should that be empiricist impressionism? Remember to ask Aunt Julia K next time you see her). Since the only validity there is is individual authenticity (there are no grandes narratives to oppress us anymore) if teenagers say "I'm not gay I just have sex with guys" then we all nod approvingly rather than pointing out that having sex with members of the same sex is more or less the definition of homosexuality! It's almost like a reaction to labelling - "don't pigeon hole me!". It sounds plausible until you notice that teenagers have always looked for ways to dilute their queer identity - I'm not gay I'm bi, etc.

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So pretty much you are saying that it is all about putting labels on people.

 

'You are gay because...' or people removing the labels and replacing them with an alternate 'I am not gay because...'

 

I think as a society, we have a tendancy to put people in boxes. And we do that to ourselves. Even when we try to rebel against 'society' by jumping out of a box, we end up putting ourselves in another box.

 

Is this right?

 

Bev

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