I Had to have Another Hit
Entry posted by AFriendlyFace
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I was trembling.
I'd carefully avoided it all day, but now the withdrawal was getting stronger. My nerves were shot. I couldn't stop pacing. Thinking back I realized that I couldn't pinpoint the exact time the addiction started. At first it was something I only did occasionally. Maybe as a way to celebrate, or after a stressful day. Then I gradually began to need a fix everyday. I'd promised myself those days were behind me now. I'd even told everyone that, that part my history was just that, history. Yet at this moment, I knew it was hopeless to even contemplate continuing my night unless I had just one more hit......one more and then I could be free.
It was late, and cold. Only a junkie would be going out on a night like this. I shrugged and tried to dismiss the thought as I hurriedly left my apartment and began my lonely walk. Oh I knew all the places to go for it. I eventually settled on a location not too far from home. Sure it was risky. There was a greater chance of someone I knew seeing me, but I didn't think I'd make it if I had to go further......they all thought I was clean now, and that was fine with me.....besides it was no one's business but mine.
I'd walked fast; I was there before I knew it. I had second thoughts. Perhaps I can fight this. Maybe if I go home and can just get through this night, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel will be in sight........no, no I couldn't resist, not this time. And anyway I was already here.
He knew what I wanted as soon as he saw me.
"Back again I see" He stated with a smug, self-satisfied smile.
"yes, yes" I replied, fervently anticipating my next fix.
I bought more than I needed. This much would probably last a typical person a week and a half at least......I'd be lucky to get three days out of it.
I quickly paid and left. Eager to make my way home and get the relief I so craved. The walk home was a blur. I remember wrestling with myself, forcing back the urge to just stop right there and get reacquainted with the bliss I so desperately longed for. I wanted it....No I NEEDED it......not here though; no not here.....too many prying eyes.
Eventually I made it home. After fumbling with the lock I finally slammed the door behind me and breathed a sigh of relief. My deliverance was at hand now.
I took out double the standard amount......I was no greenhorn by any stretch of the imagination.
And then!
OHHHH what ecstasy! What a sublime ride I was now on!
The next few minutes are hazy. It was all gone almost before it started. The only thing I can say for sure is......
God I love chocolate!
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