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Stories...health...baby J...

Renee Stevens


Hello, hello!!!

I hope that everyone is doing well and staying healthy!  This crap going around is definitely a scary thing and we are doing our utmost best to make sure that it doesn't find its way into our home. So far, Hubby, me, and Baby J have managed to not get it.

I'm writing again, at least a little bit. I haven't managed to write much, but something is better than nothing. It's probably going to be slow going, as school starts back up in just a few short weeks. When I do find the time to write, I have two separate stories that I'm working on. I know the basics of both of them, and even have many scenes plotted for both of them, it's just getting the words from my brain to the computer. Hopefully, once they are done, they will be worth the work in the end. No idea when they will appear, but eventually I will have at least one of them out!!! I've thought about doing a weekly flash story again, but with school, baby J, and all the health issues, I'm just not sure I'd be able to post reliably. It's something to consider, but not even sure what that story would look like.

My health is... well... it's been better. Nothing covid related, but if you've followed my status updates (easiest way to let friends know what's going on), then you'll already know that my health hasn't been at it's best, but that for the majority of things, no one knows what is going on. I want to say Thank You to those who have offered support, it means more than I can say. I talk to Hubby about what's going on, but other than that, I pretty much don't say much to anyone in my life. Primarily because all that does is make them worry, and/or they tell me all about how I'm doing things wrong and what I need to do to get better. It gets really old being told over and over again what I need to do, as though I'm not already doing everything I can think of to get better, and everything the doctors suggest. That's hard to do when no one knows what's going on. Being able to come on here and share my thoughts and worries has helped tremendously. The only thing I know for sure is that I have two bulging discs in my back and a cyst on my spine. I'm still doing PT twice a week, and this week I started going to the chiropractor as well. Also, while my weight isn't the sole reasoning behind those issues, it doesn't help, and my lack of mobility at the moment is making it very hard to lose the weight. Hubby just ordered me a stationary bike, at my request, to try and help with that.

In the last four or five months, I've had at least 2 cat scans, a head mri, a back mri, x-rays, ekg's, blood work, and I don't know what else. There are still really no answers. All my blood work has come back good, except for something having to do with Protein C. What little I've been able to find on that says that it most likely means their is inflammation in my body. I'll see a rheumatologist in a couple of weeks, but not holding out much hope that they'll  have any answers, but it's always possible. My neurologist wanted me to get a bunch of blood work, which I did, but it all came back fine, so now he's sending me to get an echocardiogram. To be honest, I'm scared shitless, and I'm not even 100% certain as to the why behind the echo. I mean, as much as I want to know what's going on, I really really don't want this test to reveal the answers because that would mean there is something wrong with my heart. That is a very scary prospect. I can only hope that if it does show anything, it's easily fixable, as I have a little boy who needs his mommy. He runs over and wraps his little arms around me, and I just hold him that little bit tighter.

Enough crappy stuff. Let's end this blog on a happier note!  Baby J is starting to say a few more words, just within the last couple weeks, so that makes us feel a little better than at his last appointment. He's healthy and such a happy little boy. I've never seen a toddler that does so well at bedtime either!  It gets to be that time of night (or afternoon nap), and he gives us loves, and goes to bed with absolutely no fuss. He gives the best bed time hugs. We eat at the table and he's starting to try more things, though his favorites are still pasta and corn dogs.

Hope you all continue to stay happy, and healthy, and thank you again to all of you for letting me get my feelings and frustrations out.


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5 minutes ago, Reader1810 said:

You’re a real trooper, Renee. Never forget that. :hug:

Thank you. If I"m being honest, I don't feel like it most of the time. Hubby just keeps telling me that he knows I'm being worn down both physically and mentally, but we'll get through it together. I know this has to suck for Him that there's nothing He can do. :hug:

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Unknowns like that are soul eaters and I wish you all the best in fighting them.

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6 minutes ago, Palantir said:

Unknowns like that are soul eaters and I wish you all the best in fighting them.

Thank you. While I might not like the answers, it would beat (probably) this not knowing!!!!  Various aspects of this has been going on since before Baby J was born, and then some just this year.

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Posted (edited)


 I mean, as much as I want to know what's going on, I really really don't want this test to reveal the answers because that would mean there is something wrong with my heart. That is a very scary prospect.

I'll just repeat here what I said yesterday to another GA member, who is slightly worried about various test that his doctor is arranging for him to have:



I'm getting bloods taken next Wednesday.

I'm not looking forward to that, either. But: Knowledge is Power:yes:

I truly hope the echocardiogram will show that there is absolutely nothing wrong at all with your heart, Renee. But, if there is, it's better to know and then hopefully treatment can be arranged to control or cure it.

Fingers crossed it's the first of those two possibilities. :hug:


Edited by Marty

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