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Happiness - whatever that is.


Someone said, "I just want you to be happy, tim."

He's a sweet man. A friend.

i thought about what he said.

Happy.        What is that?  I'm not unhappy all of the time. Sometimes i am. Suppose everyone is.

Most of the time i am aware of the hollowness in my chest. It sits next to my heart and i wonder about the ache and emptiness there. It feels like a hole or entrance to the past. i fight to find and to shut that door, but it never truly closes.

I don't believe in happiness.

There are moments of laughter, or a good day or night. But a day never passes where i don't think of the life i lived and cannot leave behind me. How do i just forget the first 20 something years of my life? Didn't it make me who i am now?

What would i be without it?   Chop it off, like a rotten limb?

Just put the past behind you. So far, no one has been able to show me how that magic trick is done.

Ain't gonna happen.  Deal with it.

There seems to be a need or drive to 'be happy'. To live a happy life, to find happiness. Is it a state of mind? Can we learn it?

Maybe some have. i never will, but i'm not sad all the time.

i'm not unhappy.

i laugh with my Husband. He's a very funny guy. i like talking to my friends, and family.

i love to laugh.

Mostly, i'm content. For me, looking at where i came from,  and where i got to ...

That's enough.

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Mancunian

Posted

Very few people, if any, are truly 100% happy. I suspect that those who claim to be are really 'papering over' the cracks in their lives. My opinion, and that is all it is, is that total happiness is an unachievable goal but being content with life and yourself is much more realistic. Being content with life and yourself is different for each of us. For me that is not forgetting but coming to terms with the less happy times in my past, accepting that I cannot change that, remembering the good times in my past and putting more emphasis on them, and appreciating the good things that I have in my life now. By doing this I am a happier person, I still have my bad days but I am also more open to experiencing the better days and achieving some happiness in my life. Something similar may hopefully work for others, but it won't be the same as we are all different. I hope that we can all achieve a better level of contentment with our lives and experience more of the happy days.

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