It Started With Brian

[Adam Phillips]

I've just posted Chapter 30 of It Started With Brian.

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 30

 

This one's long this time. It was kind of difficult to write, for technical reasons and for personal reasons. I'm glad to be finished with it.

 

 

--Adam Phillips

 

 

[Adam Phillips]

I've just posted the next chapter:

 

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 31

 

 

--Adam Phillips

[canundra]

I know Sam has his issues, and he's a stubborn S.O.B., and he's a complete mess, but...

 

FINALLY.

 

 

 

Thanks for writing, Adam. I can't wait to read the next one.

[Adam Phillips]

Well, the Christmas insanity is thoroughly messing with my life and family right now, but I've managed to complete Chapter 32 of Sam's story. Here's the link:

 

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 32

 

 

Thanks as usual to Sam's guy. I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter. There are two more chapters to go, and as I've already mentioned, Sam wrote the last one several months before he died, so I only have one more chapter to work on. The whole thing will be finished by the end of the year.

 

Once you've finished reading It Started With Brian, I invite you all to read my own story, Crosscurrents, which has about ten chapters left to go. I'll have more to say about this story soon, but I'll tell you now that very shortly it should be much, much easier for you to find CC on the Internet.

 

I hope everybody has a great holiday season.

 

 

--Adam Phillips

[mr.chris]

one of the first stories i read on this site and im damn glad its this one ay. this story is really inspiring and im glad that though sam had to go through so much stuff he still made it in the end.

im 15 and sam was roughly somewhere near my age at the beginning, to me shows how unpreditable life is but thats the beauty of it, but very scary

 

Life isnt about counting years its making years count-

hard to live by but gotta try

Edited December 21, 2009 by 94chris

[michael13boy]

The end of the year came and went... is there an update?

[Adam Phillips]

Yeah, I know. ISWB was supposed to be finished by 2009.

 

I ran into some snags with Chapter 33. It all had to do with the difficulty of transforming Sam's notes into a chapter this time.

 

I finally fnished, though and the new chapter is posted:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 33

 

Thanks for your patience.

 

And thanks to Sam's man. For everything.

 

--Adam

[Adam Phillips]

The final chapter of It Started With Brian has now been posted:

 

It Started With Brian, Chapter 34

 

 

There are a lot of things on my mind and heart as I finish this project, and most of them I can't put into words. But thanks to all of you for following Sam's story. It was an honor for me that he entrusted the completion of the story to me, and I love and miss him with all my heart.

 

If you're interested in reading any of my own writing, I guess the first place I'd send you is Crosscurrents, a story that's still in progress, one which I put on hold to finish Sam's story. You can find it here.

 

I appreciate the emails you've sent, and I guess I'll see you 'round.

 

 

 

 

--Adam Phillips

[Eno]

How no one has replied so far is beyond me.

 

I think because the story was true in all aspects, it's hit my a lot harder than stories usually do. The fact that the story is now complete saddens me. I used to look forward to reading the next chapter, and I would check back regularly to see if there were any updates, but knowing that there won't be anymore updates is slightly depressing. I want to know what happens from here.

 

That said, it was an extremely touching story, and I really enjoyed reading it.

 

Thank you.

[Nephylim]

I think in some ways people haven't answered because they really don't know what to say. We all know where this story ends.

[Zeoanne]

I have LOTS to say but I don't think anyone alive would like to hear any of it... I'm enraged of Dan's misfortunes and unfairness and If I speak my mind in here I'll probably get kicked out. One of my biggest sorrows is not have been able to know him and to also meet 'Brian' (John).

Either way... I do know he's an angel, watching over us.

[Former Member]

To have,

 

Someone to love with all your heart and all your soul,

 

Is a full and blessed life

 

And so it goes...

[johnwut]

How no one has replied so far is beyond me.

 

I think because the story was true in all aspects, it's hit my a lot harder than stories usually do. The fact that the story is now complete saddens me. I used to look forward to reading the next chapter, and I would check back regularly to see if there were any updates, but knowing that there won't be anymore updates is slightly depressing. I want to know what happens from here.

 

That said, it was an extremely touching story, and I really enjoyed reading it.

 

Thank you.

 

I'm gonna kind of roll a couple replies into this one. I said before in this thread that I was Sam's partner and obviously that makes me the real Brian. Folks have asked some stuff that it's prolly time to say.

 

First off I need to thank Adam for finishing ISWB for Sam. We both trusted him totally with this and he put a hell of a lot of blood sweat and tears into this. It meant a lot to both of us. It's not what Sam would have written. There's stuff in there that Sam told Adam to help him understand that Sam wouldn't have put in. I think it was better for it and I think Sam would've agreed.

 

We had about 2 yrs together. 2 amazing yrs. He was himself to the end. Joking. Taking care of everybody else. Worrying about everybody else. Never let anything get him down for long. Something that doesn't come through in ISWB much is that he was always an optimist. He found something good out of the worst shit imaginable. He never held a grudge. Never walked past somebody he could help. Noticed the little see through bugs on a hike and got all excited about them. Got excited like a little kid when he'd see something new. And he laughed all the time. He was hurt. He'd be pissed if that was all somebody took away from ISWB. He didn't let himself be defined by that stuff. He needed to explain it. Say it as Adam says. But he still thought people were basically good and the world was an amazing place. After everything he still believed that.

 

Don't walk away with the idea that there wasn't a whole lot of love and happiness and laughter in his life. If he was here he'd threaten to haunt anybody that did.

 

Folks have asked how he died. He had colon cancer. Found it after it spread. Died at home in my arms with our family all around him. I adopted his son before Sam died and he's doing well. He's a great kid an he's a whole lot like Sam.

 

Sam wasn't angry when he died. He didn't want to go. He told me over and over that most people didn't get what we had ever. He was right. So don't go feeling sorry for him or me. He'll haunt you and I'll bitch slap you. lol

 

It meant a lot to Sam that people read ISWB. The feedback he got really touched him.

[Nephylim]

Thank you for that. For what it's worth I did get the optimism (more from the way he treated people than anything else) ... maybe it's because I'm the same... a true Pollyanna in the face of all adversity.

 

It's good to know that you had at least some time together to just be. And the fact that you adopted his son is awesome. I have to admit that, knowing what the end game was I did wonder about that.

 

The story made me feel good and now I feel even better.

[Former Member]

All power to you John and to your wonderful boy.

 

 

Love from Joey~

[Adam Phillips]

After I finished working on It Started With Brian and announcing the last chapter here, I stayed away from this forum for a while. It's hard to explain, but writing the story in Sam's behalf was kinda tough on me and I didn't really want to participate in any discussion for a while.

 

I just returned today and read the final posts, including John's.

 

Thanks to all of you for your interest in Sam's story.

 

And thanks, John, for those words about Sam. I want to say to this group of readers that I totally get why it "started with Brian" for Sam. John is a great guy and getting to know him has meant more to me than I can say. I was a little uncomfortable "talking" to John at first, because...well, because he reminds me a lot of someone in my own life, and I was having some "transference" issues, LOL. But as I began to chat with him more, I came to see firsthand the things about him that Sam used to always talk to me about.

 

I would never have finished It Started With Brian without John. If he hadn't been supportive of the project, I wouldn't have gone on with it. As it was, I often worried that he'd feel as though I was invading some very private and very sacred places in his life and exposing them to the world. He assured me on a regular basis that he didn't feel that way and often expressed his thanks to me for finishing a project that had meant a good deal to Sam.

 

For those of you who wonder about "Chris," he couldn't be in better hands.

 

I'm glad to have had the opportunity to get to know Sam and John, and to partner with them on this project. It was an experience I wouldn't trade, even with the hard things about it. And I value John's ongoing friendship a great deal.

 

I guess that's my final word on this project.

 

If you're interested in my own writing--it was my story that actually got Sam thinking about reconnecting with "Brian," if you'll remember--I'll be a hosted author at Gayauthors quite soon. The folks here were familiar with my story from its appearance at the now-defunct Archerland, and offered to host me here. I'm hosted elsewhere, but I know you don't want to read my stuff at those places, LOL! My story has about ten chapters to go, and I have three other shorter ones in progress, ideas for a fourth and a fifth, and a completed one-chapter short-short story. They'll all turn up here over the next couple of months. I also have a blog here that I post to infrequently, although I'll be stepping it up once I get my pages here.

 

I hope to "see" some of you at my new location here.

 

Thanks for reading Sam's story.

 

 

--Adam Phillips

[PrivateTim]

I'm gonna kind of roll a couple replies into this one. I said before in this thread that I was Sam's partner and obviously that makes me the real Brian. Folks have asked some stuff that it's prolly time to say.

 

First off I need to thank Adam for finishing ISWB for Sam. We both trusted him totally with this and he put a hell of a lot of blood sweat and tears into this. It meant a lot to both of us. It's not what Sam would have written. There's stuff in there that Sam told Adam to help him understand that Sam wouldn't have put in. I think it was better for it and I think Sam would've agreed.

 

We had about 2 yrs together. 2 amazing yrs. He was himself to the end. Joking. Taking care of everybody else. Worrying about everybody else. Never let anything get him down for long. Something that doesn't come through in ISWB much is that he was always an optimist. He found something good out of the worst shit imaginable. He never held a grudge. Never walked past somebody he could help. Noticed the little see through bugs on a hike and got all excited about them. Got excited like a little kid when he'd see something new. And he laughed all the time. He was hurt. He'd be pissed if that was all somebody took away from ISWB. He didn't let himself be defined by that stuff. He needed to explain it. Say it as Adam says. But he still thought people were basically good and the world was an amazing place. After everything he still believed that.

 

Don't walk away with the idea that there wasn't a whole lot of love and happiness and laughter in his life. If he was here he'd threaten to haunt anybody that did.

 

Folks have asked how he died. He had colon cancer. Found it after it spread. Died at home in my arms with our family all around him. I adopted his son before Sam died and he's doing well. He's a great kid an he's a whole lot like Sam.

 

Sam wasn't angry when he died. He didn't want to go. He told me over and over that most people didn't get what we had ever. He was right. So don't go feeling sorry for him or me. He'll haunt you and I'll bitch slap you. lol

 

It meant a lot to Sam that people read ISWB. The feedback he got really touched him.

 

Sam's story I think has made me a better person. I finished ISWB today and spent a good part of the day teary eyed, happy that you and Sam had two years and sorry it wasn't fifteen years like it could have been.

[PrivateTim]

I'm gonna kind of roll a couple replies into this one. I said before in this thread that I was Sam's partner and obviously that makes me the real Brian. Folks have asked some stuff that it's prolly time to say.

 

First off I need to thank Adam for finishing ISWB for Sam. We both trusted him totally with this and he put a hell of a lot of blood sweat and tears into this. It meant a lot to both of us. It's not what Sam would have written. There's stuff in there that Sam told Adam to help him understand that Sam wouldn't have put in. I think it was better for it and I think Sam would've agreed.

 

We had about 2 yrs together. 2 amazing yrs. He was himself to the end. Joking. Taking care of everybody else. Worrying about everybody else. Never let anything get him down for long. Something that doesn't come through in ISWB much is that he was always an optimist. He found something good out of the worst shit imaginable. He never held a grudge. Never walked past somebody he could help. Noticed the little see through bugs on a hike and got all excited about them. Got excited like a little kid when he'd see something new. And he laughed all the time. He was hurt. He'd be pissed if that was all somebody took away from ISWB. He didn't let himself be defined by that stuff. He needed to explain it. Say it as Adam says. But he still thought people were basically good and the world was an amazing place. After everything he still believed that.

 

Don't walk away with the idea that there wasn't a whole lot of love and happiness and laughter in his life. If he was here he'd threaten to haunt anybody that did.

 

Folks have asked how he died. He had colon cancer. Found it after it spread. Died at home in my arms with our family all around him. I adopted his son before Sam died and he's doing well. He's a great kid an he's a whole lot like Sam.

 

Sam wasn't angry when he died. He didn't want to go. He told me over and over that most people didn't get what we had ever. He was right. So don't go feeling sorry for him or me. He'll haunt you and I'll bitch slap you. lol

 

It meant a lot to Sam that people read ISWB. The feedback he got really touched him.

 

Happy Birthday John, I hope you and your son have a special day.

[Adam Phillips]

Happy Birthday John, I hope you and your son have a special day.

 

Thanks for the BD wishes for John, Tim. He's not really an "online" kinda guy so he seldom comes here. I've sent him an email letting him know someone left a birthday greeting for him in this Forum.

 

I know what you mean about Sam's story making you a better person. Sam was an inspiration. I loved him so much, even though I never met him in real life. I miss our chats like everything. He helped keep my head on straight. Or bi. Or whatever.

 

John is every bit the man that Sam is, though he'd deny it. They're really nothing alike; But John is a first-rate guy. I'm also honored to know him, not just to have been Sam's friend.

[ketiba]

I'm very late with posting this, but I need to say this here: I will love Sam, Brian and Chris forever. I know that's not their real names, but I would like you to know that I will be carrying them in my heart.

This story was breathtaking. It's a timeless story that will touch many readers in the future.

You can call me sensitive, overreacted, but this is how I feel about the story and about the dear people in this story. It has been day two (or three?) since I've finished the story, and I'm still crying my eyes out. From sadness that Sam passed away and couldn't get in touch with him and crying from love for you. That includes Adam, Mary, Sam's parents and all the others who could make Sam smile and loved him.

I really like to know how everybody is doing at the moment, but I think that will be picking in your and their privacy and I don't want to do that if it effects you guys...

Anyway, thank you soo much Adam and Brian for finishing Sam's story. Could you give my greetings and love for me to Brian and his family, would you Adam? I really would appreciate it = )

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND SOUL!

 

I love you guys.

[johnwut]

I'm very late with posting this, but I need to say this here: I will love Sam, Brian and Chris forever. I know that's not their real names, but I would like you to know that I will be carrying them in my heart.

This story was breathtaking. It's a timeless story that will touch many readers in the future.

You can call me sensitive, overreacted, but this is how I feel about the story and about the dear people in this story. It has been day two (or three?) since I've finished the story, and I'm still crying my eyes out. From sadness that Sam passed away and couldn't get in touch with him and crying from love for you. That includes Adam, Mary, Sam's parents and all the others who could make Sam smile and loved him.

I really like to know how everybody is doing at the moment, but I think that will be picking in your and their privacy and I don't want to do that if it effects you guys...

Anyway, thank you soo much Adam and Brian for finishing Sam's story. Could you give my greetings and love for me to Brian and his family, would you Adam? I really would appreciate it = )

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND SOUL!

 

I love you guys.

 

Didn't see this until just now. I don't check the site often. We are all doing fine and everyone appreciates the well wishes from everybody.

[DanK]

Hey, this is Adam Phillips, the guy who finished Dan Kincaid's It Started With Brian

 

I've been very gratified that so many people continue to discover Sam's story and are touched by it. I keep getting emails asking the same sorts of questions about the "story behind the story," though, and since it's not my story, I never feel I have the right to answer them. I generally forward the emails to John (Sam's "Brian"). Occasionally he's posted to Sam's efiction forum answering these questions but obviously that thread gets buried and people don't see it.

 

He sent me this text last night and asked me to put it where I thought it would be most likely to be seen. I decided that it would make most sense to tag it to the end of his actual story. So here's the link to what John had to say in response to the common questions he receives.

 

 

Postscript From "Brian"

[DragonFire]

I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am to Adam for finishing the story & to John for sharing part of his life with us to bring ISWB to a conclusion. Both tragic & moving, this is something I will always remember for the rest of my life.

 

 

How painful it was for you to remember and re-live those times I cannot imagine, nor will I try. In the end the love was beautiful and that’s what’s important.

 

 

God Bless.

[Miguel S Camacho]

I recently saw Adam's post on ISWB on his yahoogroups and was too curious to check on the story given the fact that it wasn't his and he "merely" helped to finish. I was astounded, to say the least, when I read ISWB. I got hooked and read all 35 chapters in one sitting. It's not so much about the style and what have yous but the story was so alive it prods you. 

 

Beneath the gloom and hurt pervasive in the story, it actually is a very inspiring story of love, joy and victory. 

 

I must agree to what have previously been said that all these fixation with labels are what creating all the mess and hurt. Sam and Brian are so blessed to have enjoyed what real love meant beyond the labels. So what if it was just two years. It was worth a lifetime for that kind of love.

 

Sam's legacy will live on with ISWB.

 

Thank you, Adam, for allowing us through the full circle of Sam, definitely not tragic, love story. Thank you John for allowing us to share with your amazing love for Sam.

 

And Sam, you will always be remembered for the so many little good things you have given us through ISWB. My only regret is not have met you at all. It would have been the greatest honor to meet a guy with so much love and compassion to offer. 

 

 

[Miguel S Camacho]

If I may also add, ending with the Lifehouse song, was most positive and truly inspiring especially knowing that Sam and Brian will be truly good forever.

 

It does make me feel everything will be better.