[Gabriel Morgan] safer sex

[Silvertomcat]

While I was leafing through "Stonegate Stables" again, I noticed that the second tableau of the first chapter culminates in : [sean] fogged the glossy piano lid with my moans. Eventually [Vincent] built up a rhythm, stroking me in time with his thrusts. We came together, him in me, and me in the kitchen towel he'd thoughtfully brought along.

 

This seems to be a recurring trend in gay fiction... authors seem to dislike writing about safer sex. I've never written a sex scene, so I don't know to which degree the word "condom" trips up their rhythm. I can, however, say that my sexual experiences sour from a guy trying to move forward without a rubber more than they ever do from some fumbling or a discrete pause *cheeky grin*

 

"52 Panhead" does have safer sex, but only in retrospect : the first mention of condoms occurs while Jeff is packing up his house. I should know : I pestered poor Gabriel till he worked in s-o-m-e mention Isn't he a sweetheart ? *wink*

 

Sites like these, stories like these helped me a lot. It was fairly easy to filter out the extremes : no one seriously thinks they might be Harry Potter's younger cuter stronger brother or that George Clooney is waiting in the wings. At least I never did *grin*

 

I do remember feeling quite awkward the first time I had to battle it out with a guy over safer sex, though. I'd just lost my virginity, we were in the shower out of reach of any supplies. He kind of wrestled me into a corner, trapped between his back and the wall. He tried to get a bare ride, mumbling about regular plasma donations in order to get free check ups from the Red Cross.

I don't think I'd have said to him "Gabriel always has Sean and Vincent play safe, just like Evan and Jeff" but some more role models might have helped, I think.

 

Have authors got some kind of responsability towards their readers ? Is e-fiction an art form with social relevance ? Should the author's notes / disclaimer at the start of an average chapter suffice ?

 

What do you think ?

[kitten]

 

Have authors got some kind of responsability towards their readers ? Is e-fiction an art form with social relevance ? Should the author's notes / disclaimer at the start of an average chapter suffice ?

 

What do you think ?

 

I've not read the particular story yet, but the question is generally relevant so I feel that I can express my opinion. (maybe it would be good to post the question in a general forum?).

 

As a general principle, to the extent that everyone has some responsibility toward others, then of course authors have responsibilities to readers. HOWEVER, in the particular case you mention...

 

First, just because condoms are not specifically mentioned in the sexual acts described in a story does not mean the author intends the reader to assume that they are not used. The author often leaves a lot to the imagination and does not describe every minute detail. Whether or not the character brushed his teeth, locked his door, wiped his feet, put on his shoes, checked that he'd turned off the gas, etc, is not usually important to a story.

 

For example, if the author says that the character crossed the road, does he need to also say explicitly that the character looked both ways first? If the author says that the character got into the car and drove off, does he need to mention that the character fastened his seat belt? Can the author not assume that the reader will understand from the context whether or not the character is foolish or suicidal?

 

Second, suppose it's clear from the story that condoms are obviously not used. Lots of things happen in stories that aren't safe (e.g. playing golf in a thunder storm, smoking cigarettes, etc). Lots of things happen in stories that are downright illegal (murder, theft, rape, etc.). Some things in stories may be both unsafe and illegal (e.g. drunk driving). If the author describes these unsafe/illegal things that might happen in real life is it irresponsible? Should he describe only those things that are both safe and legal? Should all his characters look both ways before crossing the road and wear seatbelts in their cars?

 

Most readers know what is safe and not safe, and unless the story might be interpreted as implying that unsafe sex is a good thing, I see no reason why there really needs to be a warning or disclaimer at the start of the chapter. However, if the author has any doubt about it, he might want to have such a warning or disclaimer, 'just in case'.

 

Kit

[Duncan Ryder]

Well, I can't speak for Gabriel obviously, but I can say that personally, I make a point of it. It's one of the reasons I started writing EW -- I wanted to write the kind of story that would have helped me when I was that age. I just felt I had some things I wanted to observe about safer sex, and about emotionally responsible sex. I do feel a responsibility because I write about younger guys, and younger guys read my stories, and I know they see my characters as a kind of role model because they write and tell me so. I would feel irresponsible NOT to address it. I don't think it's hurt the story or hte emotion any... it's real after all...these are things we need to be responsible about.

[MikeL]

Many authors do state in the disclaimer or other headnote that they encourage safe sex even though it is not explicitly demonstrated in their stories. Of course, many readers skip these intros and go straight to the "good stuff". If authors or site administrators could find a way to promote safe sex without impinging on the story, that would be great. They could say "always use a condom" or, as I heard someone say years ago, "you won't catch AIDS if you just sit on your butt and keep your mouth shut".

[Silvertomcat]

I feel that the responsability for and final say over the content of a story should lie with the author. Anything else, to me, is just a slippery slope towards censorship. And we all know that two wrongs don't make a right, eh ?

 

Kit's post was quite thought provoking. In the end I decided it comes down to plot : some things are a plot point, some things aren't. If a story mentions rape, generally it's a plot point : the attack, the recovery, the aftermath... Some movies, think of "Babette's feast" are about the luxury of food and then the characters spend a lot of time eating, cooking, shopping. In most gay romantic stories sex and eroticism is a major plot point, whether the author depicts it graphically or not. I think it's fair to argue that those authors don't want their readers to think "and then the characters go uhmpf uhmpf uhmpf, and wham bang ejaculation, in a condom evidently, because that's what all gay men do" after they've been describing the looks the smiles the first touch...

 

Frankly, a lot of authors, Gabriel included, go to great lengths to paint the scene very vividly.

 

I found myself in the same position as Duncan Ryder : it's my first time, I'm awkward and hesitant as it is... then the night gets hotter and the moment gets closer... and suddenly this guy wants to proceed without a condom. Now, are condoms that much of a damper on the mood ? Is he so hot for me he's willing to play russian roulette with my health ? That first time I thought it's because he knows I'm a virgin and he's quite sure of his own status... Later on, I meet guys who want the same thing, while it's clear that neither of us are virgins.

 

So I elaborate my questions *grin*

1. are condoms such an inhibition to gay guys ?
   
2. are condoms such an inhibition to gay authors ?
   

ps : my apologies to Gabriel --- if you look at my grousing in this, my first topic in your forum, you must think I'm not the loyal fan that I am. *blushes*

[Gabriel Morgan]

I guess I better weigh in here...

 

Stonegate was my very first effort at creative fiction and I deliberately chose not to include the specific stopping to don a condom every single time my characters had sex.

 

For one thing, they had a lot of sex and I didn't want to keep thinking up ways to say '...and then he paused, leaving me breathless and aching with need, to roll a condom down his pulsing erection...', altho it can definately be made part of the action, as erotic as the rest of the happenings. I simply decided not to do that. Irresponsible? Perhaps, but my decision nonetheless.

 

For another, as Kit so articulately explained, it could be a given, if you were inclined to think that way.

 

Then Silvercat took me to task , so I said something about it in PH, and if I write another story, I'll include it when strangers get together (if it fits the plot), but if I open a story with long-term partners, like Alex & Joshua, I'm not going to bother. I will, however, now that I'm feeling defensive about it (thank you very much, Silvercat - I'll see to you later!), include a safe sex mention in the story notes or disclaimer.

[outoftheashes]

When I read Stonegate, it seemed as if the condom debate had already happened (at least in my mind). Most of the characters had been friends/lovers for years and to me it felt as if they were comfortable enough with each other to not use condoms.

 

I understand how Gabriel didn't want to interrup the flow of the scene by having the men stop and use protection. I would have liked to have seen a mention of condom when new guys joined the cast, such as TJ or the cowboy Sean and Vincent picked up.

[Silvertomcat]

outoftheashes raises an interesting point : in Stonegate Stables the condom debate might already be over and done with.

 

Personally I haven't any friends that I'd feel so comfortable with that I'd assume they only have sex with a regular set of partners, all of whom I know as well. Either my friends are more horny or I'm less trusting in nature *wink*

 

I've wondered if perhaps the rural setting plays a role : if there's less opportunity, perhaps there is less random sex. As far as I understood it, though, Stonegate Stables isn't really rural in setting, eh ? Sean repeatedly tells us he's got his plot of land when there wasn't a Starbuck's within a 30 mins radius.