So how did you find love(bf) in this world ....

[hh5]

that's like finding a needle in hay stack ... before the cows eat up all the hay and the needle?

 

Gosh its not easy in this world and the stories make it too easy for the character yet its even harder in the real world.

 

There is so many dangers and adventures that makes it hard to find that as some else pointed out "Mr Right"

 

Too many "Mr Wrongs" and that would be a killer??

[kitten]

that's like finding a needle in hay stack ... before the cows eat up all the hay and the needle?

 

There's never any guarantee of success, but I believe some things can improve your chances.

e.g.

 

Join clubs related to your favourite interests and be generally sociable in other ways so you meet lots of people.

Be friendly, kind, considerate and in other ways nice to the people you meet.

Be interested in other people for who thay are, not just as potential boyfriends.

Don't go specifically looking for love or looking for 'Mr Right'.

Take care of your cleanliness and appearance.

Have the desire to give love rather than just to be loved.

Accept that no one is perfect, not even yourself.

Enjoy the life you have, with or without a bf - happiness encourages happiness and misery breeds misery.

 

Good luck!

 

Kit

[old bob]

Be friendly, kind, considerate and in other ways nice to the people you meet.

Have the desire to give love rather than just to be loved.

Enjoy the life you have, with or without a bf

Kit

Kit is right with his advices (I underligned the 3 most importants IMO). The more people you meet, the more chances you will find "Mr. Right". Dont ask if he is the right one on the first step, dont be afraid to test. Even making bad experiences could be a way to the success. Looking on you age, I suppose you could be a shy person. Let it go, enjoy all the contacts you make and show your positive sides (everybody has ones !) to your ouside world. But let it going slow with new acquaintances, dont show your intentions too quickly. Going step by step is the best way to go.

Thats my advices and I have 65 years of happy experiences (and also bad ones ).

Believe me, your chances are great if you trust yourself.

I wish you also good luck on your hunt. You are certainly not too old for that.

Old bob

[hh5]

Thanks guys.

 

I'll work on that advice since I got plenty of time since I was laid off at work and move back to my mom place.

 

Since the economy sucks , I has no idea how long before I get a job again.

But at least I could look into some of the things you mention above.

[rknapp]

Honestly, I let him come to me. Rather than date anyone all my life, I focused on being happy and productive, and then out of the blue, he came to me. I think you should do the same. Don't get wrapped up in trying to find the right guy, rather try and get your own life straightened out first. Love is important, but it takes a backseat to survival and happiness (though it should enhance happiness, keep that in mind as well).

[jovian_w2002]

Lol I think I've given up on finding Mr. Right for sometime now because I don't believe everyone's perfect. And I agree with rknapp. If there is any, join a LGBT group in your town - hopefully you'll find someone there Good luck with that

[JamesSavik]

Be a sucker. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Cry at movies. Trust people.

 

Let me know how long you last.

[hh5]

Be a sucker. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Cry at movies. Trust people.

 

Let me know how long you last.

 

hehehe I taking the easier path - ready gay sobbing stories on GA and Nifty

if u ever see the ugly pics on craigslist - u probably wana remain a virgin

[hh5]

Hi guys

I joined a computer club that meets once a month. There aren't many in the club but in the other computer club there is a few more people.

I found this week a sort of GLBT that meets at a coffee house. There is alot more people there than in the computer clubs and friendlier too.

I will continue to go and I will still keep in mind of all your advice about just being a friend even thou I may not find a bf.

 

I am still laid off and find it hard to find a job in this region of florida. I wanna stay here for few reasons

(a) My mom and aunt are up in their years and my sibiling are all married and have their own lives.

( I don't have much of life but it beats being alone.

© I never had a physical so I am finally starting to taking care of that oversite\fear.

Its not that I have to worry about diseases like STD since I was never sexuality active to any one.

However, having multiple pelvic masses, allergies, arthritis plus an Anxiety depression, life scars.

It kinda makes you wonder is there life beyond existence on planet earth.

 

No one in family knows I am GAY.

I have no intention of telling my mom or my aunt because its not necessary for them to know since I am still me to them.

I do get hurt when they talk negatively towards GAYS when its mentioned on TV.

 

My other aunt tried to introduce me to a girl. She's nice but she very young and English is not her strong point plus I am not interested in girls but it doesn't stop me in being a friend. I am avoiding this matchmaking because my heart isn't into a str8 life.

I wanna a GAY life and raise children or help raise children.

I am tired of the computer field because it eats away my life.

 

Gosh what do you guys think??

[Boy In Doubt]

It must be frustrating being set up by your aunt. I mean, it's sweet, but like you said you're not straight so having them introduce you to a girl and expect sparks to fly--must seem as though there's a lot of pressure put on you.

 

They may keep doing that if you don't tell them. Of course, you don't have to, that's your choice. It's just that, people have expectations and it can be hard when they don't know your preference. They'd be like "Do you have a girlfriend?" and everything and when you say no there's this awkward silence. I hate when that happens.

 

I think the GLBT group is a good idea (kinda like this site). That way you can discuss things with people you'd otherwise not talk about with others due to reasons you've already stated. Being part of a group of people who've gone through experiences similar to yours despite different backgrounds helps, I think.

 

As for health problems, perhaps you could make some lifestyle changes (workout, diet, etc.). I'm sorry if I sound all preach-y--God knows I myself consume more junk than anyone on this planet--but yeah, it would help to spend some time engaging in activities that could improve your health. Being happy in general can do that as well. And a boyfriend would be great, a boyfriend could make you happy, but you don't need one to be happy.

 

Of course, if you do come across a potential 'someone' then that can be wonderful. Like, someone who wants children as much as you do and basically looking for the same thing. I'm not saying you should date a carbon copy of yourself, just that, it'd be good to find someone who's walking down the same path as you.

 

Anyways, I wish you all the best and hope you find what you're looking for in life.

[hh5]

It must be frustrating being set up by your aunt. I mean, it's sweet, but like you said you're not straight so having them introduce you to a girl and expect sparks to fly--must seem as though there's a lot of pressure put on you.

 

They may keep doing that if you don't tell them. Of course, you don't have to, that's your choice. It's just that, people have expectations and it can be hard when they don't know your preference. They'd be like "Do you have a girlfriend?" and everything and when you say no there's this awkward silence. I hate when that happens.

 

I think the GLBT group is a good idea (kinda like this site). That way you can discuss things with people you'd otherwise not talk about with others due to reasons you've already stated. Being part of a group of people who've gone through experiences similar to yours despite different backgrounds helps, I think.

 

As for health problems, perhaps you could make some lifestyle changes (workout, diet, etc.). I'm sorry if I sound all preach-y--God knows I myself consume more junk than anyone on this planet--but yeah, it would help to spend some time engaging in activities that could improve your health. Being happy in general can do that as well. And a boyfriend would be great, a boyfriend could make you happy, but you don't need one to be happy.

 

Of course, if you do come across a potential 'someone' then that can be wonderful. Like, someone who wants children as much as you do and basically looking for the same thing. I'm not saying you should date a carbon copy of yourself, just that, it'd be good to find someone who's walking down the same path as you.

 

Anyways, I wish you all the best and hope you find what you're looking for in life.

 

Thank you for your reply.

 

The GLBT(sortof) is much better than the other one I went before.

Your right just to be talking to like minded people is better than nothing.

 

I guess I will have to re-invent my lifestyle.

I also have to look at possibly a career change - computer work takes too much away from having a life.

I hope I can find a middle ground to something happier??

 

hehehe I wouldn't mine cloning myself or loss of memory - it would probably guarantee removal of life scars.

Yes its baby steps to searching for that potential mate.

I do hope GOD will lead me to my potential mate.

 

I like to also wish you a safe and happy journey in your life

Thanks for the enlightenment (you spoke it better than my brothers would)

Thanks again

[Phantom]

I found mine through my friends.

 

Me and my friend Jeanette went dress shopping for a party she was going to and I tagged along basically bored out of my mind (I had nothing better to do and she wanted my opinion). We arrived at the mall and met two of her friends, Matt and Katlin. While the girls shopped, me and Matt kinda hung back and talked and well, let's just say he had my attention cus of how cute he was

 

We ended up talking after that and all the while I had no clue he was gay. He ended up asking me later that week if I was single and when I said yes, he asked if I wanted to go on a date with him and I did, and now we've been together for nearly a month.

 

So like I tell everyone... always keep your eyes open cus you never know when you're gonna run into that special someone

 

Eric

[hh5]

I found mine through my friends.

 

Me and my friend Jeanette went dress shopping for a party she was going to and I tagged along basically bored out of my mind (I had nothing better to do and she wanted my opinion). We arrived at the mall and met two of her friends, Matt and Katlin. While the girls shopped, me and Matt kinda hung back and talked and well, let's just say he had my attention cus of how cute he was

 

We ended up talking after that and all the while I had no clue he was gay. He ended up asking me later that week if I was single and when I said yes, he asked if I wanted to go on a date with him and I did, and now we've been together for nearly a month.

 

So like I tell everyone... always keep your eyes open cus you never know when you're gonna run into that special someone

 

Eric

 

Thanks Eric - I appreciate your reply - It helps

[KJames]

Thanks Eric - I appreciate your reply - It helps

 

hh5...take it from another 46 y/o: stay in the computer field, the money is better than anything else you could find right away....

 

And use it (as you already are) as a hobby....I met my husband on an old BBS system when I was only 28 (a couple years before the internet was available out here in Sunny CA.), then after not seeing him for a couple of months he popped on and into chat....I pulled him into private and tried to start a conversation with him....it started something like this:

 

M: So what's up with you?

 

H: My dad just past away today.

 

M: Oh, come on, that's a really sick joke, and besides you've been on here before and done better than that!

 

H: No. Really. My dad just died at 3:30am and we just got back home from paying the funeral home.

 

Needless to say I felt like a real heel ....but we kept chatting and ended on an up note: Five months later, with me asking, we had our first date ....5 months after that I moved in with him --at his mother's, and she treated me like one of her own--we had a committment May 13, 1993, and got Married 15 1/2 years later: October 12, 2008.

 

For those who say you should wear your heart on your sleeve...boy are you guys making mistakes! Just be you, and confident. Smile, often--that one thing can improve one's attractiveness without other help. Laugh--often and much, and wholeheartedly...there's a song from a Broadway show that I heard on SIRIUS77-Broadway on Broadway's Best today...when the main character starts to sing it, several bars in, her words are: Life is what you do--when you are waiting to die...

 

I'm going to call and get the name of the song so I can get the lyrics--maybe I'll post the song to my profile page...while that line appears slightly depressing in text, what follows is an extraordinarily uplifting, festive song!

Edited November 8, 2008 by kjames

[Kanaye]

Well, I had given up. The last boyfriend I had, for 2 months, stopped coming to see me after work and started visiting a girl he used to watch strip. Needles to say, I broke up with him and utterly gave up.

 

Then like a year later my friend was going on a date w/ a guy she met on a website and I told her she wasnt going alone but I didnt want to be the third wheel. So we stopped at the college and she found a guy she works with to go with us.

 

So while her and her "date" were drinking and talking, Chris and I walked around the Casino talking and we even danced a bit. I didnt think we hit it off so well but at the end, when we were getting to our cars he actually kissed me. Or he tried rather, he kept opening his mouth and Id pulled away and told him to close it. Twice, before we finialy managed to kiss... more than a peck but not a french.

 

And then he asked me out again. Needless to say I was surprised but I agreed.

 

We'll have been going out for a year on the 30th of Nov... we count the second one as the first date.

[hh5]

Well, I had given up. The last boyfriend I had, for 2 months, stopped coming to see me after work and started visiting a girl he used to watch strip. Needles to say, I broke up with him and utterly gave up.

 

Then like a year later my friend was going on a date w/ a guy she met on a website and I told her she wasnt going alone but I didnt want to be the third wheel. So we stopped at the college and she found a guy she works with to go with us.

 

So while her and her "date" were drinking and talking, Chris and I walked around the Casino talking and we even danced a bit. I didnt think we hit it off so well but at the end, when we were getting to our cars he actually kissed me. Or he tried rather, he kept opening his mouth and Id pulled away and told him to close it. Twice, before we finialy managed to kiss... more than a peck but not a french.

 

And then he asked me out again. Needless to say I was surprised but I agreed.

 

We'll have been going out for a year on the 30th of Nov... we count the second one as the first date.

 

Wow that's amazing. Whats the take on the kiss? Was like get away from me? or be hard to get?

I presuming getting to know each other and romance came over time.

I hope your friend survive the date?

[Kanaye]

The kiss thing was because he smokes. Even now I make him brush his teeth before we kiss.

 

Chris is so sweet, kind and we get along so well. He accepts all my quirks and I accept MOST of them(the smoking thing I still hate).

 

He did break up with me once, after about 2 months and while he was breaking up with me he was explaining why. I agreed with everything so a week later he wanted to get back together because I agreed with him. But now everything... or most everything, has been going good.

 

Oh her date went semi-ok. They were both married(my friend cant afford a divorce) she found him on a "marrried but looking" site. She sais he was a bit overbearing. There was no second date.

[hh5]

The kiss thing was because he smokes. Even now I make him brush his teeth before we kiss.

 

Chris is so sweet, kind and we get along so well. He accepts all my quirks and I accept MOST of them(the smoking thing I still hate).

 

He did break up with me once, after about 2 months and while he was breaking up with me he was explaining why. I agreed with everything so a week later he wanted to get back together because I agreed with him. But now everything... or most everything, has been going good.

 

Oh her date went semi-ok. They were both married(my friend cant afford a divorce) she found him on a "marrried but looking" site. She sais he was a bit overbearing. There was no second date.

 

Wow, Kinda like "I love Lucy" lryic "... Breakup ... Its about Making up again... ""

 

Found this Targon Smokers' Mouthwash

Probably u can find similar products.

[Myk]

I am a firm believer that things happen when you least expect them to. Stop looking, live your life and good things will happen.

 

Always be open to love, but don't chase it....its a bit shy

 

Greg

[Krista]

I am a firm believer that things happen when you least expect them to. Stop looking, live your life and good things will happen.

 

Always be open to love, but don't chase it....its a bit shy

 

Greg

 

 

Aww.. a hopeless romantic like me doesn't seem so hopeless anymore.

[Myk]

Aww.. a hopeless romantic like me doesn't seem so hopeless anymore.

 

hehe, hey Krista

[Drewbie]

Aww.. a hopeless romantic like me doesn't seem so hopeless anymore.

 

Yea that is nice

[KJames]

Always be open to love, but don't chase it....its a bit shy

 

 

Love is life's most elusive predator;

Love is life's most beautiful pet.

It can make you happier than anything else,

or it can break your heart.

Whether you find it, or it finds you,

You'll know when your love is true.

[canundra]

that's like finding a needle in hay stack ... before the cows eat up all the hay and the needle?

 

Gosh its not easy in this world and the stories make it too easy for the character yet its even harder in the real world.

 

There is so many dangers and adventures that makes it hard to find that as some else pointed out "Mr Right"

 

Too many "Mr Wrongs" and that would be a killer??

 

You wait. It'll come.

 

Of course, you have to be open to it. You can't be a recluse and expect to still have a love life.

[Verm]

Being where I am, I don't think I'll be able to find a boyfriend at all. It's just too hard. Gays here are either the flamboyant types (not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just not my preference) or waaaaay inside the closet that they're in Narnia. It's a cultural and religion thing. And partly my fault too I guess, my self-esteem isn't really up there.

 

But I still have hope. Even if I have to wait forever, I will. I'm not the kind of person that wants to play or date around. So that makes it harder. I'm such a glutton for misery.

 

*sigh*