[David McLeod] The Paladin

[David McLeod]

Mistress Alice in chapter 5. I instantly remembered the quote in chapter 3: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. A connection also? Allusion?

 

 

Thank you for all your thoughts, and for your review. As usual, readers think more deeply than I. I'd not made the connection between Alices. That requires some more thought.

 

 

It worked just fine.

Finish the story! I wanna hear about the violet eyed silver haired tween and the boy who saved him

 

Good Chapter as always

 

Jon

 

Jon, in case you don't see the reply to your review (for which I thank you), I don't suppose "...and they lived happily ever after..." will be sufficient, will it?

Edited January 6, 2009 by David McLeod

[TalonRider]

Take all the fun out of that little story.

 

I once read a story where the author left the end of it up to the reader to decide how they wanted it to end instead of ending it himself.

[Linxe Termoil]

Jon, in case you don't see the reply to your review (for which I thank you), I don't suppose "...and they lived happily ever after..." will be sufficient, will it?

 

Nope, sounds to me like you got another story to be writing after you finish up all the others for "The Book of Heroes."

 

 

 

Hrm.... "Book of Heroes: The Boy, The B Witch, and The Bear."

 

Catchy title, I like it

 

Jon

 

(Yes, that is a B before the W that I struck through, if you can't tell )

[David McLeod]

Nope, sounds to me like you got another story to be writing after you finish up all the others for "The Book of Heroes." ...

Jon

Jon, it's on the "to do" list. Nice title...how about "The Boy, the Bear, and the Wardrobe"? (After all, the bear was wearing nothing but fur before he changed...)

[Verm]

That sounds like a title for a kinky coming out story, David!

[TalonRider]

Jon, it's on the "to do" list. Nice title...how about "The Boy, the Bear, and the Wardrobe"? (After all, the bear was wearing nothing but fur before he changed...)

Or at the very least, a good short story complete with an ending.

 

And if he leaves that story unfinished, he's just asking to be nominated for King of Evil Cliffhangers for the 2009 Awards.

[David McLeod]

...if he leaves that story unfinished, he's just asking to be nominated for King of Evil Cliffhangers for the 2009 Awards.

 

Tempting as that is, I'll keep the story on the to do list. Thanks, though.

[David McLeod]

Chapter 6, "Travels in a Hostile World," of The Paladin has been posted.Tyler and Jon discover the magic they used to heal has put themselves and their newfound friends in danger. The boy, Morgan, helps them learn how to survive on World, and, perhaps, to understand why they were brought there. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

[Verm]

Just a thought.

 

I personally find that this story has that "realism" feel to it, even with the story being set in a fantasy world after a few chapters. "BoH:GoS" and "The Translator" both use the same situation for the main character, that being transported from our world and thrust forward into a new one. But somehow Jon and Tyler are different. Perhaps it's the way they were brought that makes it feel different; George willingly traveled over; Philip - while also willing - takes a more protagonist role rather than George's more submissive one; Jon and Tyler meanwhile were forced into it.

 

There's also the probability of because there are two of them. They can discuss the difference from our world to the new one between themselves at the time they are also learning about the world. I think this point of view helps the readers to comfortably keep an anchor to our world while we explore the new world together with Jon and Tyler. It makes the story easy to relate to.

 

What say you?

[David McLeod]

"[book of Heroes: George of Sedona]" and "The Translator" both use the same situation for the main character...somehow Jon and Tyler are different. Perhaps it's [that] George willingly traveled over; Philip - while also willing - takes a more protagonist role rather than George's more submissive one; Jon and Tyler meanwhile were forced into it.

What say you?

 

An interesting observation. And, perhaps, a key to all of the stories. George was escaping the situation in Sedona; Phillip was recruited as a translator but quickly became Argon's protector; Jon and Tyler were kidnapped (much as was Argon, initially). The difference in their motivations, not to mention their reactions, could be critical. Thanks for pointing this out.

 

Today (January 20, 2009), Chapter 7, "A Hidden Monastery," of The Paladin finds Jon, Tyler, and their new friend, Morgan, running from "press gangs." I hope you and all enjoy.

[TalonRider]

I would have to say that the two years spent with the cleric's has been a learning period for all. Also makes me wonder if the small troop of Tyler, Jon, and Morgan will grow when the time comes for them to move on.

[Dolores Esteban]

Very good chapter. I loved the final part, in particular. The ideas are very well embedded in the story.

 

To learn more about Peter Abelard, I went to Wikipedia. Very interesting. I copied the whole article.

 

I very much loved this chapter.

Edited January 21, 2009 by Dolores Esteban

[David McLeod]

In Chapter 8, "Mission of Mercy," Jon diagnoses a old disease and Tyler discovers a new power. The story is at

The Paladin, in eFiction. Thank you for your thoughts, your comments, and especially for reading.

 

(TalonRider: I think you'll find the answer to your question, in this chapter.)

 

(Dolores: Thank you for your comments on Peter Abelard.)

Edited January 27, 2009 by David McLeod

[Verm]

Is the cleric James from "The Paladin" the same person in "In the Prince's Secret Service"?

[David McLeod]

Is the cleric James from "The Paladin" the same person in "In the Prince's Secret Service"?

 

Interesting question. Sorry. No. (Unless there's reincarnation involved.) "The Paladin" takes place some 50,000 years before "Knight Templar..." and "In the Prince's Secret Service."

 

Love your art! Exceptionally...uh...exceptional. And hot.

[David McLeod]

Chapter 9, "An Elven Prince," of The Paladin has been posted. Once again, Jon, Tyler, and their companions must leave a place of safety and journey through a treacherous landscape. However, this time, they are pursued by brigands and bounty hunters. Please leave comments and questions here. Thank you!

[TalonRider]

Not a lot of rest this time around for this group, but at least they did find some place to hide and rest. And it looks like they've picked up an untrained Mage. Probably someone they will need in time.

it will be interesting to see what the rest of their journey will be like.

[David McLeod]

Not a lot of rest this time around for this group, but at least they did find some place to hide and rest...

 

Had they not, history might have been a great deal different. (How's that for a back-door cliffhanger?) Thanks for posting!

[David McLeod]

Chapter 10, "In Search of Allies" begins Part 3 of The Paladin. Once again, Tyler, Jon, and their companions are asked to leave the safety of the hidden monastery, and confront Evil in its own territory. Please leave your questions and comments here. Thank you!

[TalonRider]

Wow, that chapter had a lot packed in to it.

[David McLeod]

Prince Richard, last member of the Royal Family of Elvenhold, has found allies to support his battle to claim his throne for the Light. There's a problem, however. He's deep in Arcadia, the country to the south of Elvenhold, and surrounded by Evil. It's clear that he will have to fight his way to Elvenhold; however, his allies have some other ideas. Chapter 11 of The Paladin has been posted. The story will conclude next week. Please leave comments and questions here. Thank you.

[Dolores Esteban]

Yes, what happened a long, long time ago? Now they're asking my questions. I'm so curious to learn the answers.

[David McLeod]

You see deeply. All will be revealed in time.

[David McLeod]

The final chapter of The Paladin has been posted to eFiction. "Thank you" to all readers, reviewers, and those who posted comments on this forum. The forum will remain open for a while, and additional comments and questions are very welcome.

[Ruckus]

I just read the final chapter of this story, and have to say that it was a beautiful ending, indeed. It was appropriately sweet and probably as satisfying a conclusion could be to this tale.

 

Overall, I had to say that the battle scenes are a bit hurried, since you only provide highlights and outlines of said battles, instead of a full-on accounting. But I do understand that providing a full account of any warfare might read too much like a military manual. In the end, you've cut to the chase, and skim the excesses out. Surprisingly, because of this, I think it makes the time-lapses and gaps of time less awkward, and actually works for the flow of the story.

 

I had some concerns if these would end up a gaggle of stories that are kept open perpetually, meandering all over the place but never finding any endings, but you've put those worries to an end, and done so spectacularly.

 

Thanks for the Paladin, David, and for the others, and I look forward to the conclusions of the other stories, as well. May they be good as this one.