Top or Bottom

[Maddy]

Snip Snip!

 

Maddy (:

[Mark Arbour]

Eh... I'm about to be a bit explicit. This post is absolutely uncensored, and a bit whorish. You have been warned.

 

When it comes to intercourse, I tend to top. It's sort of like a mutual understanding, since I'm usually bigger (height and shape!) than the other guy. I don't know why this is the case, but it just IS. In some cases I find it to be a cultural thing... if I meet a guy at a club and he starts whoring himself to me, I figure he's a bottom. It's something I feel I have absolutely no control over. Some guys just seem to want to get f**ked by a Latino? It's weird, but I guess it's fine.

 

Fellatio is completely different. I like giving it, even though I consider myself to be mostly a top. I've only bottomed for two people, and it was after oral. It's a bit weird, as if my willingness to bottom increases with my attraction to the actual penis, and not the person. Although I must say I like being in control... if my hair gets pulled or my head held in place, I will squeeze or pinch.

 

/whore

 

So, even though I consider myself to primarily be a top, I can feel equally enticed to take on what many consider to be the 'inferior' roles of gay sex... albeit still in control.

 

Maddy (:

 

You think that was explicit? If that was the case, I'd have more warning bars than a Russian general has medals. Actually, I thought it was a great post. Candid and honest. Something you probably won't find when you're hanging out in those bars looking for bottoms.

[AFriendlyFace]

I find the whole issue of "size" to be intriguing.

 

Personally, I like guys with a small build. I generally prefer my guy to be the same height or shorter. The thinner/leaner the better. Average height and average build are certainly okay if the guy has other redeeming features. I will say though that a guy being taller than me and more solidly built is a big negative. If the guy is noticeably taller than me he'd better be very lightweight. I'm not attracted to "big, strong" guys at all. My preference is pretty much unilaterally for smaller guys. Average and bigger guys may still be possibilities but in that case I'm not interested in them for their bodies.

 

Anyway, none of that matters at all for sex. I consider myself generally thoroughly versatile and I pretty much always prefer smaller guys (physically at least). So obviously about half the time I like the smaller guy to top (and bottom).

 

 

Now if we're talking about penis size, I have to say that's completely irrelevant. I hardly even notice penises and I get bored if the guy I'm with tries to make them the exclusive focal point of the encounter. I will say though, that about the only thing I care at all about with regards to penises is that the guy "rises to the occasion" when we're having sex. I'm always a bit disappointed if the guy bottoms and stays soft (and obviously I'm disappointed if the guy tops and stays soft ).

 

I do think sex shouldn't be so genitally focused though. In general I think it's positive to emphasize a whole body sort of experience. So erections shouldn't be required I suppose, but in all honesty I do prefer them a bit.

Edited June 13, 2009 by AFriendlyFace

[ashessnow]

I like to bottom, giving fellatio is fun and I like older and taller guys. So there ya go.

[Sir Galahad]

I don't think size has anything to do with it. I mean, I tend to go for guys smaller than my 6.1, but that doesn't mean they are bottoms. My other half for example is 5.8 and he has no trouble either way!

[DragonFire]

I don't think size has anything to do with it. I mean, I tend to go for guys smaller than my 6.1, but that doesn't mean they are bottoms. My other half for example is 5.8 and he has no trouble either way!

TMI

[Maddy]

Lol. I was talking about body size and shape, not the size of my erection. I guess the en parentheses disambiguation wasn't much of a disambiguation. I mean, it's not like I'm the type to flaunt my genitals at a nightclub.

 

Maddy (:

[glomph]

Without getting too pornographic, can you share what it is that you like that makes you prefer one or the other, or if versatile what appeals to you about each role?

[AFriendlyFace]

Without getting too pornographic, can you share what it is that you like that makes you prefer one or the other, or if versatile what appeals to you about each role?

 

Well, from my point of view as a versatile person I would say that I've never really thought of them as roles per se, at least not for me personally. Instead I see being a top and being a bottom as simple continuations and further aspects of sexual activity. For example few people would say that oral sex precludes mutual masturbation. Erotic message, Making out, and body contact are also distinct sexual activities. Obviously there are tons more too. However, I simply see being a top and being a bottom as separate sexual activities, not as my role. Indeed my best sexual activities have been very versatile in that I both topped and bottomed. By the same token, those same very good sexual experiences also include a wide array of other activities besides just those two.

 

I like variety when it comes to sexual experiences. I don't want to stay in the same position the whole time and I don't want us to just do one or two activities. I like to keep things moving and make sex a whole body experience. Being a top is very different from being a bottom. Just as the sensations involved with other sexual activities are different. As it happens, I enjoy both the activity of being a bottom and of being a top.

 

Occasionally I end up locked into one or the other, but that is very comparable to how some people just don't like certain things so you don't really do them with that person. By the same token, occasionally I am more in the mood for one or the other just as I'm occasionally in the mood for random other sexual activity Y, but not X - even though by and large I might enjoy both Y and X.

 

Anyway, I guess my simple answer is that I just don't see it as an either/or situation. I like both, so I choose both.

 

 

I do end up being a top a good bit more often though, but that isn't so much out of a particular activity preference so much as it is from a particular person preference. In a purely physical, emotional, and relational way (completely unrelated to actual sex) I tend to be much more attracted to guys who turn out to be "bottoms" so what am I to expect?

 

 

-Kevin

Edited June 17, 2009 by AFriendlyFace

[Rilbur]

Where's the poll option for "I don't have enough experience to make up my mind"?

[Mark Arbour]

Where's the poll option for "I don't have enough experience to make up my mind"?

 

You should spend some time with Sir Galahad.

[KJames]

The only problem with your poll, Mark, is that it doesn't ask what people prefer to do, just what their primary role is "Now".

 

I top Rob, only because that's what works. Do I bottom? Yes, but I can't with Rob, and I am a size-queen--and not ashamed to admit it--my ex- was 9.5 inches , and it was always great--but that doesn't mean that topping now isn't great, there are just times when satisfaction is more important than role.

 

Your poll, while accurate for an "at this point in time or in your relationship now" question, is far from valid.

 

K.

[Mark Arbour]

The only problem with your poll, Mark, is that it doesn't ask what people prefer to do, just what their primary role is "Now".

 

I top Rob, only because that's what works. Do I bottom? Yes, but I can't with Rob, and I am a size-queen--and not ashamed to admit it--my ex- was 9.5 inches , and it was always great--but that doesn't mean that topping now isn't great, there are just times when satisfaction is more important than role.

 

Your poll, while accurate for an "at this point in time or in your relationship now" question, is far from valid.

 

K.

 

Actually, it could be interpreted either way, and I realize that there is limited statistical relevance here, but on the other hand, to have a multi-tiered poll to try and encompass all of the facets involved would have been much too laborious for me (I'm inherently lazy) especially with the knowledge that, in the end, there would still be people who complained about it.

 

But I personally found it informative, and I certainly can understand why you wouldn't want to bottom for a 9.5 inch dick. Ouch.

[Graeme]

...and I certainly can understand why you wouldn't want to bottom for a 9.5 inch dick. Ouch.

Actually, I read that post as saying he did bottom with his ex, and that he really liked doing so

[KJames]

Actually, I read that post as saying he did bottom with his ex, and that he really liked doing so

 

Thank you for paying attention, Graeme... Sorry, Mark, I'm one of the guys that would let Brad and Robbie do me...

[Rilbur]

You should spend some time with Sir Galahad.

 

Sounds like my kinda guy

[Mark Arbour]

Thank you for paying attention, Graeme... Sorry, Mark, I'm one of the guys that would let Brad and Robbie do me...

 

 

Cool. What about the fist?

[Graeme]

*looks around until he finds his moderator hat*

 

Excuse me, guys, but we do have a PM system you can use. You don't have to, and probably shouldn't, ask for too much detail about each others sex lives in public

 

*takes off moderator hat*

 

Now about that... er.... maybe I should send a PM, instead... :wacko:

[KJames]

Cool. What about the fist?

 

 

Been there--Done that...up to the guy's elbow...still a size queen...

[KJames]

Cool. What about the fist?

 

 

Been there--Done that...up to the guy's elbow...still a size queen...but it was 20 years ago...

Edited June 21, 2009 by kjames

[Phantom]

Been there--Done that...up to the guy's elbow...still a size queen...but it was 20 years ago...

 

*Attempts to get images out of the head*

[KJames]

*Attempts to get images out of the head*

 

 

Oh, come on, Phantom, you've seen more in magazines...

[Mark Arbour]

Oh, come on, Phantom, you've seen more in magazines...

 

Or the mirror?

 

*ducks*

[KJames]

Or the mirror?

 

*ducks*

 

 

I wasn't going to say anything, but since most writers write from experience, and your stories are rather, 'er, 'um...detailed...I wasn't going to suggest your level of "personal skill" in these matters...

 

*ducking and running for cover*

[Mark Arbour]

I wasn't going to say anything, but since most writers write from experience, and your stories are rather, 'er, 'um...detailed...I wasn't going to suggest your level of "personal skill" in these matters...

 

*ducking and running for cover*

 

That's just wishful thinking on your part.

 

Some of my "team members" are quite experienced and can fill in any, er, gaps.