Hitting a woman

[Cia]

Unfortunately for most men vs. women situations unless the man is indeed smaller they will typically be stronger than a woman. Even when they are both the same size. If I know a person's weaknes I wouldn't be above exploiting it to avoid getting my own butt kicked. Sad but true that most women go for the guy's family jewels. It incapacitates them and that is always a good thing if someone is looking to harm me. Now, is that fair? Nope, but it's not our fault that nature didn't give us such an obvious point of weakness. Of course I punch not slap so I typically had an advantage over any girl I ever fought as well.

 

As for fear and trust when it comes being hit by a man versus a woman I think society plays a very major role in that. Most of the time women are portrayed as victims and we are typically used to the thought of the possibility of being a victim from a young age. I think it plays into our psyche quite a bit, for both men and women. Men aren't supposed to be victims, they are supposed to be strong and able to defend themselves. A good example of this sort of bias would be rape statistics. I won't quote anything specific because unfortunately they are highly subjective but just about every source I've checked shows ratios that are vastly dissimilar. I average that perhaps 35-40% of male-female rapes are reported versus 10% of male-male. Female-male and female-female rape report statistics are almost negligible.

 

Our belief that men are primarily aggressors and women victims are patently false but it's a societal bias that I think we need to overcome. Harm is harm, no matter what type and no matter who initiates it.

Edited June 21, 2010 by Cia

[Former Member]

I really dislike the sensation of hitting anyone for any reason. It is particularly abhorrent to me probably because of my childhood. But in the my former career I worked in-- law enforcement--it was sometimes necessary. It didn't make me like it any better, and yes, gods beware those cops who actually like to. It's far too many of them, but I digress.

 

On my personal terms, I believe there's a way to work out a situation where you don't need to hit anyone. Whether that is walking away, or restraining them. If they hit or try to hit me, if I couldn't avoid it, I'd take the punch and try to restrain them yet again. For pro and personal experience, women tend to hit first, and are much harder to deal with if they are aggressively upset. Would rather fight a man any day than an angry, fight knowledgeable woman. Seems they are constantly in a variety of the survival mode I detail below. Partially I've learned because of the comparatively smaller body size is average, so basically they have to get their hits in first. One solid hit from a man and the majority are down for the count.

 

Bottom line is this though, and those who've been in it know exactly what I'm talking about. It's just an instinct, if you have it, but you know when someone is coming after you to serious injure or kill you, and survival mode kicks in. They are going down in the minimum force sort of way, but they are going down. You know when it's time for this. I prefer to be the winner, and you do what it takes.

Edited June 30, 2010 by Red Haircrow

[Stellar]

If a women was being unnecessarily aggressive towards me and that attitude was unwarranted, then I would respond with appropriate force to make her back off.

 

For me, gender ceases to be a rhetorical defence against violence when it becomes a shield for an aggressor. If you intend to hurt others, you should expect retaliation.

[MikeL]

I agree on holding the door for someone being a common courtesy. It's one that we should apply to men as well as women and to young and old alike. I will always hold the door for a woman and if she is miffed that I stepped in front of her to do it, that's her problem. It just makes sense to hold the door for the person behind you regardless of who they are. Nearly 100% of people respond with "thank you".

 

And guys, always open and close a car door for any woman riding with you. Then you walk around to the other side to get in the car; don't make her slide across the seat for you. My wife and I have been married 40 years and I still get the car door for her every time.

 

Now, we've gotten away from the subject of hitting a woman. If you are always courteous, you will likely never be faced with that question.

 

 

Perhaps my opposition to hitting women deserves some reconsideration.

 

Obviously, a guy has to use common sense along with his consideration for the fairer (not weaker) sex. If she is resentful of his courtesy, he should seek the companionship of more appreciative women. I'm thinking gay guys have an advantage here.

Well, now I have a reason to reconsider opening the door for women and it has nothing to do with courtesy. While waiting in a hospital waiting room yesterday. I needed to use my cellphone. It wouldn't work inside the building, so I stepped out onto a terrace to get a signal. I noticed that the door could not be opened from the outside, so I stood in the doorway, holding the door open, to make my call. A little later, a young woman who had stepped outside to make a call, realized she couldn't get back in and started banging on the door. Being the gentleman that I am, and being the person closest to the door, I got up and opened the door for her. I don't know if she is one of those feminists who resents chivalry or if she thought and old guy like me couldn't actually open the door (I can), but she grabbed the handle and jerked the door forcefully out of my hand. She did say "thank you" as she brushed by me but was oblivious to my pained expression. My thumbnail had snagged on the doorpost and been ripped down to the quick when she jerked on the door.

 

If chivalry really is dead, it may be women who have killed it.

 

"The motto of chivalry is also the motto of wisdom; to serve all, but love only one." ~ Honore de Balzac

[DragonMando]

I don't really discriminate being guys and girls. If something's going to go badly, I let them take the first swing and I'll act in self-defense only. As far as overall manners, I don't discriminate there either. If someone's right behind me, I'll hold the door for them and let them go first, blah-dee-blah blah. Though I still have my fair share of rude...without picking up a book on courtesy I plain just don't know a lot of manners, but what I do know I try to follow. It doesn't help that I have a little bit of custom and courtesy from a dozen cultures, but don't know enough of any one to be a real gentleman in any >_<

[zland666]

I have expierence with this, My dad had horrible anger issues when i was a kid and used to beat my mom. He even beat her when she was pregnant with me. It made me afraid to go home. Since then he has got anger managment but still calls her a 'sissy' I think it's wrong on all levels and the other way as well. My sister in law used to smack my brother around so i think it's wrong both ways.

[Tom]

I'm a big guy(mind out of the gutters people) so I Feel that , for me, hitting isn't something i want to do. Even in the fights I had in school I didn't hit anyone. I have always grabbed and subdued if i had to defend myself

 

Hugs,

Tom

[Thirdeye]

It depends what she says, or how she says it. Also if the food is cold well than I can see there being a problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

joking aside a guy should never hit a woman. I believe woman are equals but really just physically most woman are not built the same way as a guy. The average guy is taller and weighs more then the average woman, that is just a fact. Really would it be ok for a 6 foot grown adult male to hit a 5'4(average height for a grown adult female in the States) 14-16 year old male?

[Bumblebee]

changed my vote..... i thought about it a bit longer

 

since i recently got into a fight with some guy and he wouldnt hit back..... really pissed me off

[option]

If they hit me, id either find a way of restraining them, or hit them well enough so that they wouldnt/couldnt hit back.

(this assumes its a situation you cant get out of, eg being cornered)

 

Equality isnt a pick&mix

 

 

[Krista]

Heh... being southern I hear that you can't hit women all the time, but I've seen some women that deserved it.. lol. Frankly if a woman is being, well a slap happy bitch.. and the guy didn't really deserve that kind of treatment (Example of deserving it: cheating on her with her sister or something - although, I'd be hitting my sister.. lol).. then he should smack her right back...

 

But around here... deserving it or not.. a woman will get her way in a "domestic dispute" case.. so... it's not wise to put yourself into that position - defending yourself or not. If you can leave that is the best option..

 

I don't pick fights usually... and when I do it's usually verbal. I have beaten up on a few guys.. one went after my little sister in a disgusting sort of way.. one was trying to steal my purse.. and one was getting on my nerves by following me around for about a week and I don't do well with stalkers.

[Thirdeye]

The debate isn't if woman deserve to be hit as much as guys do though. The problem is equality or not the average woman is a lot smaller then the average male. Woman shouldn't be hit for the same reason men should really punch younger teens, because it can actually hurt them and damage them.

[thephoenix]

Note: I do not intend this to be a personal attack of any kind. However, if you feel you may be offended easily on this topic, please do not continue reading this post.

 

 

 

I think women and feminists have taken women's rights much too far. That or men should stand up for their fellow men far more often.

 

When someone typically thinks of domestic violence, media portrayal of the issue typically places the man as the instigator and the woman as the victim. I'm not saying that doesn't happen - I'm just saying there are two sides of the coin and the vast majority of the time, only one side is looked at. And yes, female instigator, male victim cases are out there. But we apparently are afraid to report it because of the fear of being laughed at for being...weak.

The same goes for rape cases. There even have been cases where men have been falsely accused of rape to come out of prison 20-30 years later - exonerated. Life changed FOREVER, and not even an apology from the court for being so heavily biased. While that woman who is out there whether or not she was raped, still roaming free with some sick sense of satisfaction. It's media portrayal that harms men so much.

 

Another issue that really gets on my nerves is whenever I hear about custody issues. The family courts are heavily biased in favour of women. It's is considered rare for the court to rule in favour of the man and it is usually when the case is totally one-sided. Don't get me started on child support. I've read about so many horror stories that I'd have to list them all to do them any justice.

 

Gyms. Facilities. Clubs. Activities. I have seen countless women's only gyms, fitness clubs, activities, women's only hours for a university gym or swimming pool, the list goes on. They argue that they feel intimidated by men when working out or whatever. Some others argue about religious reasons. I've looked into the other side of the coin...and found little to nothing - outside of bathhouses.

There are women's support groups, women's rights groups, even in government! Yet if men try the same thing, they get laughed at. Laughed at to the point where they even get accused for being gay, whether or not they actually are.

 

There is some article somewhere on the internet that says that one guy tried to open a men's only gym but was forced to close by feminist groups. Talk about hypocrisy! Personally, I actually feel a little intimidated myself when working out around women, especially if they are lifting a higher weight than I am. So yes, this is a personal issue for me.

 

OK so women want to become equals with the men? Fine. But there cannot be any picking and choosing. The chivalry thing makes women appear more 'powerful' and even the media is drawn into that as well. The media. Sigh. I can't tell you how many times that in commercials, the women are usually the wise, clear thinker, while the guy is portrayed as some loser. It's not only commercials. It's gone to TV shows as well and creeping its way into movies. There seems to be an anti-male bias ESPECIALLY in the United States. Male bonding activities are sometimes even categorized as 'gay' even if it's as simple as eating at a fancy restaurant or going to the movies. Sports are an exception - but are ALL men are interested in team sports? No! Of course not. Many are of course, but not ALL!!

That's as ridiculous as saying that straight men are turned on by ALL women or gay men are turned on by ALL men. Ludicrous, right? Yet somehow, the media justifies it.

 

It's a kind of homophobia - to the point where a man hates their fellow man, and throwing any guys who are actually gay deeper into the closet.

 

Now it's even gone to the point where women on average are getting paid higher than men. Why? Statistics show that women have a much greater chance of graduating from college or university than the male counterparts. I'm still trying to figure that one out - but I have a faint idea of why that might be the case.

 

Some people say the feminists are taking revenge on men for being biased against women 50+ years ago. Are they really that petty? This is a new, modern society - not the heavily out-dated crap back in the early 20th century. They're b*tching for equality, yet what they're really b*tching for is more and more women's rights over men. And don't get me started on the ultra-feminists who want nothing more than an all-female society. Ridiculous.

 

I know I've taken this issue and run away with it, perhaps getting a little off-topic, but I had to prove my point. As far as hitting women, I think that if in the same position as the woman...was a man instead and (not that I condone violence) and the attacker felt the person deserved to be hit, no special treatment should be made for the woman regardless of size.

 

 

 

Edited September 30, 2010 by thephoenix

[zland666]

I think women and feminists have taken women's rights much too far. That or men should stand up for their fellow men far more often.

 

When someone typically thinks of domestic violence, media portrayal of the issue typically places the man as the instigator and the woman as the victim. I'm not saying that doesn't happen - I'm just saying there are two sides of the coin and the vast majority of the time, only one side is looked at. And yes, female instigator, male victim cases are out there. But we apparently are afraid to report it because of the fear of being laughed at for being...weak.

The same goes for rape cases. There even have been cases where men have been falsely accused of rape to come out of prison 20-30 years later - exonerated. Life changed FOREVER, and not even an apology from the court for being so heavily biased. While that woman who is out there whether or not she was raped, still roaming free with some sick sense of satisfaction. It's media portrayal that harms men so much.

 

Another issue that really gets on my nerves is whenever I hear about custody issues. The family courts are heavily biased in favour of women. It's is considered rare for the court to rule in favour of the man and it is usually when the case is totally one-sided. Don't get me started on child support. I've read about so many horror stories that I'd have to list them all to do them any justice.

 

Gyms. Facilities. Clubs. Activities. I have seen countless women's only gyms, fitness clubs, activities, women's only hours for a university gym or swimming pool, the list goes on. They argue that they feel intimidated by men when working out or whatever. Some others argue about religious reasons. I've looked into the other side of the coin...and found little to nothing - outside of bathhouses.

There are women's support groups, women's rights groups, even in government! Yet if men try the same thing, they get laughed at. Laughed at to the point where they even get accused for being gay, whether or not they actually are.

 

There is some article somewhere on the internet that says that one guy tried to open a men's only gym but was forced to close by feminist groups. Talk about hypocrisy! Personally, I actually feel a little intimidated myself when working out around women, especially if they are lifting a higher weight than I am. So yes, this is a personal issue for me.

 

OK so women want to become equals with the men? Fine. But there cannot be any picking and choosing. The chivalry thing makes women appear more 'powerful' and even the media is drawn into that as well. The media. Sigh. I can't tell you how many times that in commercials, the women are usually the wise, clear thinker, while the guy is portrayed as some loser. It's not only commercials. It's gone to TV shows as well and creeping its way into movies. There seems to be an anti-male bias ESPECIALLY in the United States. Male bonding activities are sometimes even categorized as 'gay' even if it's as simple as eating at a fancy restaurant or going to the movies. Sports are an exception - but are ALL men are interested in team sports? No! Of course not. Many are of course, but not ALL!!

That's as ridiculous as saying that straight men are turned on by ALL women or gay men are turned on by ALL men. Ludicrous, right? Yet somehow, the media justifies it.

 

It's a kind of homophobia - to the point where a man hates their fellow man, and throwing any guys who are actually gay deeper into the closet.

 

Now it's even gone to the point where women on average are getting paid higher than men. Why? Statistics show that women have a much greater chance of graduating from college or university than the male counterparts. I'm still trying to figure that one out - but I have a faint idea of why that might be the case.

 

Some people say the feminists are taking revenge on men for being biased against women 50+ years ago. Are they really that petty? This is a new, modern society - not the heavily out-dated crap back in the early 20th century. They're b*tching for equality, yet what they're really b*tching for is more and more women's rights over men. And don't get me started on the ultra-feminists who want nothing more than an all-female society. Ridiculous.

 

I know I've taken this issue and run away with it, perhaps getting a little off-topic, but I had to prove my point. As far as hitting women, I think that if in the same position as the woman...was a man instead and (not that I condone violence) and the attacker felt the person deserved to be hit, no special treatment should be made for the woman regardless of size.

 

You have a problem I am a women i find this highly offensive none of my family in women are like that infact noone i know that are girls are like this. Most of the time unless it's a loving relationship the guys a jack ass my moms boyfriend is one and i keep on telling her lets give the house up and leave his ass because he throws crap around he's delusional he thinks we're screwing him over so he acts like a complete jack ass and like my teacher says first its throwing things and abusing objects and soon it results to physical violence.

 

I hope I find the right guy who will treat me right because if any guy puts his hands on me when i dont want it there gone no if's and's but's about it.

[thephoenix]

You have a problem I am a women i find this highly offensive none of my family in women are like that infact noone i know that are girls are like this. Most of the time unless it's a loving relationship the guys a jack ass my moms boyfriend is one and i keep on telling her lets give the house up and leave his ass because he throws crap around he's delusional he thinks we're screwing him over so he acts like a complete jack ass and like my teacher says first its throwing things and abusing objects and soon it results to physical violence.

 

I hope I find the right guy who will treat me right because if any guy puts his hands on me when i dont want it there gone no if's and's but's about it.

 

I did not mean for this to be personal. I'm only saying that there are women out there who are like that. Neither am I saying that there aren't men who are recklessly violent without a care for anyone else's safety or well-being.

 

There are always more than two sides, but the media only looks at one.

 

 

 

[zland666]

I did not mean for this to be personal. I'm only saying that there are women out there who are like that. Neither am I saying that there aren't men who are recklessly violent without a care for anyone else's safety or well-being.

 

There are always more than two sides, but the media only looks at one.

 

 

 

 

I know but with the women taking more pay what you mentioned we're not trying to take over the world and our rights have not gone over the top. Some of us are down right poor. taking a work check every other two weeks.

 

I did not mean for this to be personal. I'm only saying that there are women out there who are like that. Neither am I saying that there aren't men who are recklessly violent without a care for anyone else's safety or well-being.

 

There are always more than two sides, but the media only looks at one.

[Michael9344]

I totally oppose hitting people - male or female. I've never had the impulse of hitting ppl (except once in my first year in SS that I had a fight with a classmate for calling me a homo). I tend to play it safe and be the pussy. It works for me. But I did certainly hit anyone who attacked someone I love.

[TrevorTime]

I detest bullies of all shapes and sizes (and I'm an ex-HS jock, go figure). So yeah, I'm not keen on the idea of men smacking women around. I don't even own any wifebeater T-shirts, because of the negative connotation that comes with them.

[rustle]

I've never thrown the first punch, but I've thrown the last a couple of times. Man or woman doesn't matter, but I'd have a tough time unloading on somebody smaller or weaker. Joint locks are very useful to control a person, though.

 

off topic: Courtesy is courtesy. I hold the door for others of either gender, and accept the same courtesy with good grace, but I won't knock somebody down to do it.

 

off-off-topic: Then there's courtesy to the point of stupidity. The elevator opens, and 2-3 people are so obsessed with courtesy, they hold everyone back until the elevator door closes with no one getting on, and we all get to wait for 5 more minutes for the next one.

[Marzipan]

I hate violence, but I would use all available measures to protect someone I care for or myself. No doubt. Man or woman.

 

As a kid I attacked a big man who was beating his dog. Always protect the ones who need help. That is my philosophy.

[MidnightSecret]

I think it depends on the circumstances like everyone else here has mentioned.

I remembered when I had my encounter with some bullies (keep in mind that there were BOTH genders) back in elementary,

they definately were not shy to slap me around,

but a hero came and all he did was defend me til the teachers arrived,

he never laid a hand on the bullies... He could've, but he didn't--as if he was better than that. (:

and to me, that was such a big statement, quite inspiring actually.

[Y_B]

Snooki getting punched in the face for telling a guy off

 

[Freddyness]

Me myself and I have a very short temper, I do warn people when they push the wrong buttons and if someone pushes too far I will knock them one regardless of AGE/Sex/Orientation/Race. Cause in my mind you did something I won't stand for and I warned you.

[Agaith]

I will never throw the first punch, slap etc etc, but if someone decides to fight me they should expect me to react regardless of whoever it might be. I would scale the level of force depending on the size of the individual and since doing Jitsu I have learnt throws so I could subdue people with less strikes than before.

But yeah if people punch me I'm sure as hell not going to just take the beating.

 

I would be hesitate to hit a woman though and would probably just block her attacks until I was cornered or in a position where it got dangerous, thankfully Ive learnt how to avoid any sort of confrontation.

[Freddyness]

Now it's even gone to the point where women on average are getting paid higher than men. Why? Statistics show that women have a much greater chance of graduating from college or university than the male counterparts.

 

Excuse you but some how i believe you aren't looking at the right part, On Average if your at the top of the business world. The problem is infact that people are not getting any jobs at the moment, and it is mostly the female & student populace that is feeling the hit of this. So you think just because we are female and were treated as lower than dirt for many thousand years, that it is okay to say we can't have compensation for how men have been greedy and dominating through out history.

But that's not what I'm trying to explain, what I'm trying to get over to you is that basically your being bias and looking from your side. Yes some women can be bias too and just look from there side, but if we don't look at the whole story this could go on for many more thousands of years. In the end there are extremest groups on both sides its not the people who look at both sides and see what they did wrong apologize in there own way that are battling it out on this field its the extremists.