Corrupted by Forty-Two

[Forty-Two]

Hey Forty-Two!

 

Just wanted to let you know that I started reading this story last night. Jeez you have a way of hooking the reader! I'm surprised I didn't stumble across this sooner. I hope to get the chance to read this properly over the weekend. Well, I'm looking forward to it.

 

I really hope you like it! Thanks for dropping a note!

 

Okay, so what are you on about?!!! (Up to chapter seven, at the moment)

 

To me the chapters only get more interesting as the story progresses. I mean, the action in the first is great, but you maintain a nice wit through the proceeding ones and I like Kiba--love the way he sees the world. hehehe, I'm having such fun.

 

The writing style is super easy to read, too (funny that it takes such hard work to read so easy, huh?)

 

I feel spoiled at having all the chapters of the story available and no waiting time, hehe.

 

 

Yeah, I don't know why I was so insecure with this story... I think it is that it is so close to me I fear all the little things that could be wrong a lot more.

 

You are a lucky duck with no waiting time! Can't wait to see what you think when it's all over

[AnytaSunday]

Excellent.

 

I absolutely enjoyed reading this story from Kiba's perspective. Hehe, my goodness he's a laugh--oh, in a dark and terrible way of course. The pacing, descriptions (very active--love that) and action twisted together nicely--the story reads effortlessly, though I'm so lucky I could read multiple chapters at a time, hehe, if I had uninterrupted time, it would have been something I'd have consumed in one bite (haha).

 

I did see how this story could have been extended with the Max component that cropped up nearer the end, but I appreciate your thought that it came up too close to the end. If you ever decide to go back to the story and develop it further, a few scenes could introduce Max earlier and hint at this possible eventual development.

 

Regardless, this worked well the way you designed and executed it.

 

Hehe, you're so funny! I love getting messages too, lol. Especially during the crafting process--writing can be a lonely business and encouragement from our readers helps to let us know the hard work is appreciated. Sorry my messages came so late.

 

Still, congrats on an awesome story. I hope lots more people read it. Keep up the awesome writing, I'll be perusing your work.

 

Sweet!

 

Anyta

[Forty-Two]

Excellent.

 

I absolutely enjoyed reading this story from Kiba's perspective. Hehe, my goodness he's a laugh--oh, in a dark and terrible way of course. The pacing, descriptions (very active--love that) and action twisted together nicely--the story reads effortlessly, though I'm so lucky I could read multiple chapters at a time, hehe, if I had uninterrupted time, it would have been something I'd have consumed in one bite (haha).

Hey again! So glad you loved reading from Kiba's perspective! A lot of his thoughts came out of my frustrations with all the popular vampire fics nowadays. I'm actually kinda sad that the sequel isn't from his perspective, but it just couldn't work that way. Hopefully Avy will be as amusing but in his own way.

 

Thanks for all the compliments about writing style! I really was worried that the chapters didn't flow in to and out of each other well enough. Glad you were pulled right along!

 

I did see how this story could have been extended with the Max component that cropped up nearer the end, but I appreciate your thought that it came up too close to the end. If you ever decide to go back to the story and develop it further, a few scenes could introduce Max earlier and hint at this possible eventual development.

 

Regardless, this worked well the way you designed and executed it.

Yes, you are right that if there was more Max stuff he'd need to be mentioned earlier... but honestly it would be hard to have Kiba see it since Avy wouldn't even realize it or pass the info onto Kiba. I think it wasn't possible for Avy to start noticing human guys until after he'd been through a lot with Kiba (been accidentally "fixed" as it were).

 

Hehe, you're so funny! I love getting messages too, lol. Especially during the crafting process--writing can be a lonely business and encouragement from our readers helps to let us know the hard work is appreciated. Sorry my messages came so late.

 

Better late than never! Sometimes I think a lot of people don't leave comments because the story is done and posted and they feel they are too late. I feel sorry for the stories that have gone a year or two with no new comments. I always want new comments! You're right, encouragement makes all the difference. Thanks for giving me some, even after the fact!

 

Still, congrats on an awesome story. I hope lots more people read it. Keep up the awesome writing, I'll be perusing your work.

 

Sweet!

 

Anyta

 

Thanks! I hope you like some of the other stuff. It's funny that I like Corrupted style stories way more than pure drama, yet all my other posted stuff is pure (and reality based) drama and I keep writing more! I think it's because I get hooked on the emotions and want to focus on that and because pure drama with no action sub-plots is so much easier to write. Damn, I should be challenging myself more!

[AnytaSunday]

Hello Forty-Two!

 

I had the pleasure of reading you follow up short story "Beguiled" this evening. Let me start by saying you make reading fun. Your writing style is a piece of cake with yummy-as frosting to read.

 

Sometimes I think a lot of people don't leave comments because the story is done and posted and they feel they are too late. I feel sorry for the stories that have gone a year or two with no new comments. I always want new comments!

 

Hehe, yup, if a story catches my interest, I happily read it chapter by chapter, but my fav is to read a finished story because then I'm not left hanging too bad, lol. It seems a shame then, if just because a story is finished, it doesn't get reviewed.

 

So my thoughts on Beguiled:

 

 

 

1) I have to admit, when Cass is decapited, I thought it'd been an accident. But this played wonderfully as a twist--Of course, a paragraph later I clicked as to how right that was, i.e it fits Avy's character, especially considering his past.

 

2) I was anxious the WHOLE time he was at the vampire fight club--I kept expecting a vamp to chuck him in the ring and make him fight his way out. My only consolation was I knew Avy still has to live because of how Corrupted ended.

 

3)Which brings me to: Uh-oh. And I thought Avy and Kiba's reunion at the end of C. was a happy one. Well this story goes to disprove that theory. It could be he's initially wanting revenge and will do anything, include emotional manipulation to get back at him... interesting, interesting... I only hope as he extends his ploy to make Kiba suffer, he really DOES rediscover his love for Kiba. (Of course, this is a whole heap of speculation here, lol)

 

4) I thought Avy's voice sounded just about right. One of my favorite lines: "Girl…? Oh yeah, I remembered as I looked over to where the body lay crumpled on the ground. I shrugged and looked back to him."---It just fit, and I thought it was funny--and also gets rid of any ambiguity to what his morality status is.

 

 

 

Yeah, that was a good read. Looking forward to more,

 

Anyta

[Forty-Two]

Hey Anyta! So nice to keep hearing from you!

 

Let me start by saying you make reading fun. Your writing style is a piece of cake with yummy-as frosting to read.

Yay! Thanks so much!

 

Regarding the stuff in your spoiler about Beguiled:

 

1) Yes, it is supposed to be a shock/twist, the only hints before being Avy's frustrated reflections in the bathroom and his reluctance to have Cass leave (which readers are supposed to misinterpret at the time as Avy just being dissapointed at Cass leaving). Glad that you thought it fit well.

 

2) Ah, that is the problem with prequels, you know so much about how they have to end or the things that can/can't happen

 

3) I think that Avy has a lot of emotions during the reunion. Beguiled helps to highlight the two main conflicting ones, a lot of hate/resentment/anger towards Kiba which Avy expresses by yelling at Kiba and breaking his neck (pretty much saying, "I feel like killing you right now.") and the overwhelming I love/want/need you which he expresses by kissing Kiba and inviting him into his car. I think the second set are the dominant ones, but considering how long they were apart for, it would take anyone a long time to come to terms with the first set.

 

4) Glad you liked Avy's voice. Avy's morality pretty much has to balance on a very thin line. He can't not care or else he's not acting human/sane, but he can't care too much otherwise he couldn't be with Kiba or do what he does. I think he is influenced a lot by Kiba into taking a passive outlook - he doesn't really help OR hinder people. His questions over his morality and what that makes him are very much a theme of the sequel.

Thanks again for writing!