You've got a friend

[Heart]

Some very use the term, buddy, pal, mate. There are those that have 100s of friends and those that have a limited number. What are the degrees of friendship and do you make friends easily? What are some of the qualities in a friend you'd most want and have you been successful? Was there a time that your friend supported you through a difficult time and what was the length they'd go for you. On the other hand what do you do when a friend lets you down? are you vendictive and take revenge or do you simpley move on? Whose your friend, and can you form a word picture of that person, so much so that we feel that we almost know them? Are you able to easily forgive your friend whose let you down. Celebrrating friendship

[MikeL]

I have several hundred friends. Certainly the degree of friendship varies, but I don't have a particular pet name for different levels of friendship. I tend to call all my friends by their first name only, regardless of their age (I'm old enough now that I can do that). I prefer that my friends call me by my first name. It rankles me a bit when a young adult calls me "sir" or uses some other formal term. That's OK for children. If an adult continues to call me "sir" after I ask them not to, I'm tempted to treat them like a child.

 

The first step in becoming my friend? Pronounce my name correctly. My first and last names seem to invite mispronunciation. If you do mispronounce my name, I will correct you politely. If you pronounce it incorrectly a second time...get lost. And never, ever inform me that I have spelled my name incorrectly. Grrrr...

[phana14]

I have several hundred friends. Certainly the degree of friendship varies, but I don't have a particular pet name for different levels of friendship. I tend to call all my friends by their first name only, regardless of their age (I'm old enough now that I can do that). I prefer that my friends call me by my first name. It rankles me a bit when a young adult calls me "sir" or uses some other formal term. That's OK for children. If an adult continues to call me "sir" after I ask them not to, I'm tempted to treat them like a child.

 

The first step in becoming my friend? Pronounce my name correctly. My first and last names seem to invite mispronunciation. If you do mispronounce my name, I will correct you politely. If you pronounce it incorrectly a second time...get lost. And never, ever inform me that I have spelled my name incorrectly. Grrrr...

oopsies MikeL.

I was brought up to always refer to (adult male) as:Sir or Mister. And for the feminine sex it was Maam Miss or Misses. We weren't all brought up with the same social structures. I read a *letter to the editor* recently in my local paper where an elderly woman said she was *outraged* because a waiter (server) referred to her and her companions as "young ladies". She stated that her age demanded respect. "I am not a girl. I am not a young lady."

Whatever! I totally respect your feelings MikeL, and that is hard and fast!

I am having a problem here because I abhor lack of respect for other people! And somewhere in there is my upbringing fighting with what is now acceptable in our society! I don't give a rat's ass what is now accepted as *cool* or *acceptable*! What I care about right now is that all of us need to start showing more respect towards each other!

And you know that I love you--MikeL!

[MikeL]

And you know that I love you--MikeL!

Love you too, Phana.

[Nephylim]

My very best friend on earth at the moment is my brother. He's not my birth brother, we adopted each other years ago. We've known each other for over 20 years and we speak almost every day. He is a few years younger than me but mentally is about 100 years older.

 

He is a wonderful painter (see his painting in my gallery) and a great writer too. He is totally creative and he inspires me.

 

He shares my beliefs and strangeness. He is far more conservative than I am in dress and manner but he is truly beautiful inside and out. Unfortunatele he lives about 350 mies away so we don't actually get to see each other face to face as often as I'd like.

 

He knows every single thing about me, the good and the bad. He tells me I'm beautiful even when I am looking like shit. He listens to my rants and I listen to his. He gives me great advise and never listens to mine. He teases me and tells me I'm an idiot. He gets mad at me and sometimes I get the 'Whatever' texts but even when we hate each other I never feel that I can't talk to him. It's easy to apologise to him and hard to stay mad with him. To be honest I think we have only had 'arguements' twice in all the time I have known him and they were mostly my fault.

 

He has not had the best luck in love. His ex boyfriend almost destroyed him and I live through years of hell alongside him. He's been with his current boyfriend for... oh eight years or something like that. They are not the happiest they could be as they have settled into a 'comfortable' relationship which isn't always so comfortable. I adore his partner though, he's cuddly and sweet, I am just not sure that he and Jay are good for each other.

 

He's tried all sorts of things, like breeding quail and he usually succeeds. He ran a shop for a while and sold home made soaps and products. He works for MInd as an alternative therapist and is trained in aromatherapy and reiki. He is always ready with healing when I need it.

 

He is an illustrator and has illustrated a children's book and he has had exhibitions for his work.

 

He is sightly balding and slightly cuddly. He wears waistcoats and collects pocket watches.

 

Apart from my children he is my favourite person in the whole wide world

 

 

 

 

 

[Heart]

You truely are a master of your craft, Nef. I feel I can see the type of bro you have. I too have rfriend who are both good people, but live together because it's just comfortable or out of habit. Is he soft spoken, he seems to be, as some may say, an old soal. Thankyou for sharing that, your all time fan

[zland666]

I don't make friends easy because Im terribly shy

 

I look in a friend if there trust worthy, who will stand by my side in sticky situations and would pick me up if i had troubles at home and just needed to get out.

 

I don't ask much but if you can be at least trustworthy then you've got a friend in me

[Heart]

I hope that you atleast have one close friend. I sometimes used to find that when sitting in a group I was expected to say somthing, and there I'd sit, mouth full of teeth, tongue in my mouth, saying nothing cause, 1, I didn't have anything to say and 2, that it may sound stupid. I'm with you when you say that you need to able to trust your close friend as well, and sometimes, it takes time to trust, take care

[Nephylim]

You truely are a master of your craft, Nef. I feel I can see the type of bro you have. I too have rfriend who are both good people, but live together because it's just comfortable or out of habit. Is he soft spoken, he seems to be, as some may say, an old soal. Thankyou for sharing that, your all time fan

 

He is softly spoken and oh yes... definitely and most certainly an old soul... a very old soul that let's say that this is not the first time we have been close

[jian_sierra]

I am an introvert through and through so I only keep very few close friends but the few that I keep are very precious to me. I am friendly enough (I think) but it usually takes a while for me to really warm up to people. Once that happens though, no one can really make me shut up. I used to have a best friend (make that two, one after the other), the one person in the whole wide world that I share everything with, but they're not in my life anymore. Sure we're still friends but that's it, just friends. They did the one and only thing that makes me mad, they betrayed my trust.

 

Anyway, I befriend those who is able to accept me for who I am, no questions asked. And also those who can take my sense of humor (or lack thereof).

[Westie]

I do not make friends easily.

 

I have many acquaintances. A large group of "social friends"... but people to share my life secrets with? Someone I trust absolutely with my life? There is only one, and I am lucky enough that he is my boyfriend.

[Hoskins]

Heard a lecture once where the speaker divided people up into four circles that surround you.

 

First is family (especially families of our own making). No matter what, spending time with, doing things for, family is top on the list.

Second are your closest friends. You'll drop what you're doing to spend time with your closest friends as long as that agrees with the time you'll spend with family.

Third are just "friends". You won't necessarily drop what you're doing unless what THEY are doing is something you want to do.

Fourth are acquaintances. You know them at school or work but really don't have much else to do with them.

 

The speaker basically said "Close friends are those who will invite you to go bowling, and you'll go to support them even if you don't bowl. Friends are those who, if they're bowling and invite you, you'll go if you want to bowl but decline if you don't."

 

MY take is that of that rusty old saying: a best friend is someone who, if you get thrown in jail, won't be there to bail you out. They'll be there sitting next to you in jail, talking about how awesome that was.

[Nephylim]

I suppose I have three 'circles'... those I woud do anything for without a single thought.... those I woud do anything I could for if after having thought about it for a few minutes... those I don't know.

Edited August 15, 2010 by Nephylim

[MikeL]

A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart.

[Douw]

I all so have three circles of friends first are Best Friends ( Position open at the moment ) The reason me best friend stabbed me in the back and low and be hold the next one did the same And that is the only thing that would get me to stop being friends with some one... Second is friends it dos not take long for me to make a friend but to trust some one takes a bit of time And as to family i don't get a long with them so... Wat do i look for in a friend? some one how is trust worthy some one how would help me if i am in trouble and some one how would be there fore me to cry on there shoulder and last but not least if your kind and fun to be around i'l consider you and acquaintance or a friend

 

But that's just me

[thatboyChase]

IN ME

[Mark Arbour]

IN ME

 

Slut

[Caedus]

I'm with Westie in that I don't make a lot of friends easily, but I have way more acquaintances. Those type of relationships tend to be based on school and work or whatever I'm involved with, and are recyclable as they usually run their course over time. Maybe I'm the oddball here, but I don't look at friendships as a thing for emotional connection and attachment. I try to stay away from that since it requires more trust and vulnerability and intimacy than I'm comfortable with, let alone capable of. What I look in a friendship is the opportunity to be learning, constantly exchanging information and debating concepts and ideas, being constantly energized by conversations that are way deeper than "small talk". I'm pretty outgoing and I'm extroverted, so it's not like I'm can't function in social environments. I just like having substance with the people I would consider "friends", which is hard to find sometimes. But once you find it makes it all the more precious to hold on to.

Edited August 18, 2010 by Caedus

[zland666]

I hope that you atleast have one close friend. I sometimes used to find that when sitting in a group I was expected to say somthing, and there I'd sit, mouth full of teeth, tongue in my mouth, saying nothing cause, 1, I didn't have anything to say and 2, that it may sound stupid. I'm with you when you say that you need to able to trust your close friend as well, and sometimes, it takes time to trust, take care

 

I did have a couple best friends but either i moved away or they moved away and didn't recieve any kind of contact. But i did search in the phone book one time and went through at least a dozen of pages but i actually found them and now we text. I also found another through myspace and he wants to get back together again some how.

 

I know what you mean i hated group discussions and when i had to speak you could hear my voice tremble and my hands were shaking lol. One time

we had to have a group of five and make up our own island, it counted for have your grade so i didn't have a choice. We had to show it infront of ninty kids in our grade, i was petried. Freshman year was the best time for me cause i made alot of friends because it was a mixed group of kids. but as always some of them moved later in the summer and some into relationships... now i don't even get a text anymore because there in a serious relationship. It makes me depressed but that only makes me want to have that special someone sooner

[Forty-Two]

"A friend is a friend, a pal is a pal, but a buddy is someone you sleep with in bed." I'm not so eloquent when I've been on here typing for 5 hours... maybe I should go to bed now.

[Kent]

I got friends but I have a tendency to isolate myself from crowds. I do have one best friend thought from high school and we got separated because I went to a uni and he went somewhere else. I don't trust issues whatsoever if i tell a secret to my friends I'll just say "go tell my secrets its OK with". I like to friends with anyone as possible I don't care about attitudes or quatities because i believe every one is different. I stay away though to people who are loud and well attitude problems just to avoid tension. As for the difficult times, I don't think my friends help haha..... Though I can sense my friends when they have problems and make them talk about it. Revenge is a strong emotion but I'll just let it pass because that would be immature. There is this girl whom I can understand what she is gone true though her dad hurts her physically, I can see myself in her. I'll forgive them though no matter how hurtful it is because nothing i can do will change the past.

[Bumblebee]

i dont trust people (i dont even trust my family), so its hard for me to make friends..... plus now that im not in school and im working, its hard to make friends besides work friends and clients..... apparantly i dont have 'people skills', im pretty shy when it comes to people i dont know, and i dont like being around people who think they are smarter then me so they talk down to me like im an idiot because of my age

 

to be honest, for myself, i never saw the point in having friends - when i need to talk to someone, i see my phycologist or write my feelings down - when i want to have some company, i spend some time around my family or i talk to the horses - when i need a shoulder to cry on, well i have 2 shoulders

 

i had friends in school, every single one of them didnt care about me, in the year since i quit school i havent seen any of them, havent heard from any of them

 

plus people dont seem to want to be around me, i dont know why, but people just seem to hate me (look at my reputation),

 

but what would want in a best friend, would just be someone who cares, who can be there when im hurting, and wont turn their back on me, would understand me..... just a nice person who i can have an intellectually stimulating conversation from time to time

Edited August 24, 2010 by Renae

[Neo]

I've got three kinds of friends

1. Friends I talk to during work and in school. Maybe go out sometime to grab a cup of coffee and have a chat. (Easy to belong to this group - If I can talk to him/her and have a conversation not just Hi or Good bye they belong in this group)

2. Friends that I feel comfortable around and trust to at least 70% and can talk to about most in my life, movie night pals, shopping pals (kinda hate to shop but with the right company it's bearable) and so on

3. These friends I trust to 100% and feel totally relaxed around and know I can be myself without them judging me and know they will stop me if they think I do something wrong.

The 3rd are hard to find but I'm lucky enough to have 2 of these and a 3rd well on her way ^-^

[DragonMando]

I've never made friend's easily, and so don't have many people that I'd call such. Most of the people I've met are acquaintances--I know their faces, maybe their names (I'm horrid with names), and I can engage in small talk with them, but I wouldn't tell them anything I wouldn't mind the whole planet knowing. I've got less than ten people I'd actually call friends, and three best friends that I can tell anything to and feel safe.

 

To qualify as a friend, the person has to earn my trust over time and prove themselves loyal and honest. I can't stand wishy-washy people. I want someone I can count on when I'm in trouble. In the same manner, I'll return the favour. However, slight me, and you'll lose my trust, which is something very difficult to redeem, though it's easier if said friend is repentant.

 

This doesn't mean I'm not social...I'm just very insecure and tend to be almost paranoid of people in general. It's easier to be friendly over the Internet, I guess, because I don't have someone's eyes on me, making me skittish.