Happy Birthday, JJ!

[methodwriter85]

Hey everyone, let's go ahead and wish JJ Schluter a happy 25th birthday! Hopefully he's having a lot more fun than working on some comparative book review for grad school. I'm betting he spent this birthday in Paris, shopping and partying at some discreet club, having a ball, getting absolutely wasted on fine white wine.

 

*looks at Mark and Sharon's smirk* Hey, I can get away with this. It's perfectly within reason at this board to start birthday threads for Mark's characters.

Edited December 7, 2010 by methodwriter85

[DragonFire]

Hey everyone, let's go ahead and wish JJ Schluter a happy 25th birthday! Hopefully he's having a lot more fun than working on some comparative book review for grad school. I'm betting he spent this birthday in Paris, shopping and partying at some discreet club, having a ball, getting absolutely wasted on fine white wine.

 

*looks at Mark and Sharon's smirk* Hey, I can get away with this. It's perfectly within reason at this board to start birthday threads for Mark's characters.

 

[hh5]

Happy Birthday!!!

[mmike1969]

as long as he did NOT wind up at "Celebrity Big Brother" or on the cover of some rag at the checkout stand with a picture of him snorting coke or as bitter as Tonya Harrding, Happy B-day

[methodwriter85]

Coke? That's so '80s. If JJ is snortng anything, it's crushed up Adderall.

[sat8997]

as long as he did NOT wind up at "Celebrity Big Brother" or on the cover of some rag at the checkout stand with a picture of him snorting coke or as bitter as Tonya Harrding, Happy B-day

 

I like this one.

[Mark Arbour]

I like this one.

 

Is it too anti-chronographic to have JJ and Tonya Harding get into a Dynasty-like bitch slapping fight?

[mmike1969]

no.. All JJ has to do is say "i'm sorry" in front of a camera and then say "i'm going to rehab..."

[PrivateTim]

Hey everyone, let's go ahead and wish JJ Schluter a happy 25th birthday! Hopefully he's having a lot more fun than working on some comparative book review for grad school. I'm betting he spent this birthday in Paris, shopping and partying at some discreet club, having a ball, getting absolutely wasted on fine white wine.

 

*looks at Mark and Sharon's smirk* Hey, I can get away with this. It's perfectly within reason at this board to start birthday threads for Mark's characters.

 

Did you check out the birthday greetings for the "other" JJ in the Lounge??

[methodwriter85]

Did you check out the birthday greetings for the "other" JJ in the Lounge??

 

Yeah, I did, thanks. Although I'm actually a JR, not a JJ. My parents were extremely big fans of the nightime soap Dallas, apparently.

 

So in case some people didn't catch that, JJ and I share the exact same birthday. Mark was sneaky about that- Bitty was due to give birth in February 1986, and she wound up giving birth about six or seven weeks early so that JJ's birth could coincide with my own. At one time that would have put his life in danger, but by the 1980's technology had improved enough that a preemie could survive. (If you're wondering, no I was not a preemie, I was right on the dot.)

 

I was delighted at the line about Bitty going into labor on that Saturday, and was happy when I checked the 1985 calendar and saw that it did indeed fall on my birthday. I was incredibly touched by Mark's tribute, and continue to be glad to have count Mark among my friends.

 

Now, enough with the mushy stuff. Let's talk about JJ going into rehab for his painkiller addiction and getting sued by Johnny Weir for slapping him on the face.

[mmike1969]

Now, enough with the mushy stuff. Let's talk about JJ going into rehab for his painkiller addiction and getting sued by Johnny Weir for slapping him on the face.

 

Well, I think the most active place for 'stars' to go for their addictions (Sex, drugs, spousal abuse, cussing too much) was the Mayo Clinic (that we knew of). And with the cash the Crampton/Schluter has at their disposal, I am sure it can be private with the other stars on the 'B' list.

 

Sorry JJ, but once you start getting caught doing drugs AND slapping people in the face (deserved or not), you will NOT be on the 'A' list, gold medals or not. Just try not to kill him Mark, like you did with Jeff...

 

And we can introduce Brian back as a low paid orderly that empties bed pans or something here.

 

Of course he got addicted to the painkillers because of all the accidents on the ice he had while growing up and never told his coach or parents about... Yeah that will work...

[methodwriter85]

Actually, if anything, I think JJ will develop an eating disorder.

[mmike1969]

Actually, if anything, I think JJ will develop an eating disorder.

 

I am sure they have a clinic for that... After the slapping incident, JJ can make a Public Service Announcement per his agreement with the District Attorney about eating disorders AND go on Oprah!

 

Of course, this was all before the leak of his sex tape...

 

Maybe Mark can toss in some kind of sexual dysfunction for JJ too?

Edited December 8, 2010 by mmike1969

[PrivateTim]

Well, I think the most active place for 'stars' to go for their addictions (Sex, drugs, spousal abuse, cussing too much) was the Mayo Clinic (that we knew of). And with the cash the Crampton/Schluter has at their disposal, I am sure it can be private with the other stars on the 'B' list.

 

Sweetie darling.... don't you watch Ab Fab? Everyone who's anyone goes to Betty Ford.......

[mmike1969]

Sweetie darling.... don't you watch Ab Fab? Everyone who's anyone goes to Betty Ford.......

 

um, no... I don't even own a TV... I have a life

Edited December 9, 2010 by mmike1969

[Mark Arbour]

Sweetie darling.... don't you watch Ab Fab? Everyone who's anyone goes to Betty Ford.......

 

That's one of the gayer things I've done: watch every Ab Fab episode. I'm not quite sure which one was my favorite, but I'm leaning towards Patsy.

[DragonFire]

That's one of the gayer things I've done: watch every Ab Fab episode. I'm not quite sure which one was my favorite, but I'm leaning towards Patsy.

 

 

Why am I not surprised! lol

 

The woman who will shag anything with a pair of tight buns & a pulse... remind you of anyone?

[Mark Arbour]

 

Why am I not surprised! lol

 

The woman who will shag anything with a pair of tight buns & a pulse... remind you of anyone?

 

 

I remember the scene where they were flying off to Morocco or Paris and Patsy follows this hunky guy into the bathroom. I'm sitting there thinking to myself: "Hey, I did that."

[methodwriter85]

Maybe Mark can toss in some kind of sexual dysfunction for JJ too?

 

I was thinking Mark could make JJ into a compulsive shoplifter, ala Winona Ryder. JJ could try to steal about 5k worth of items at Nieman Marcus, all on camera.

[mmike1969]

hmm, JJ, at 25:

 

Twice got caught shoplifting, on probation, with a sexual deviancy involving an eating disorder and addicted to painkillers.... :wacko:

 

Bring out Maury Povich and he can have his special "who's your daddy" episode and then heads will really explode when everyone else finds out who JJ's biological father is

[methodwriter85]

I think Hoskins has deduced that JJ is his own uncle or something like that. "He's my uncle! Father! Uncle!"

 

If we want to be realistic though....JJ skated in the 2006 and 2010 Olympics...he did fine, but never got gold. (Thus actual Olympic History isn't rewritten.) Since by 2014 he'll be past his prime and he's realizing that if he couldn't get gold at 24 he prolly won't get it at 28, JJ instead decides to retire, and devotes himself to going full-time to school. He's taken classes here and there since 2005, but he only counts as a sophomore. JJ decides to attend school in Chicago, taking advantage of Stefan's old condo, where he can skate on the side and become an assistant coach to a renowned coach that he really looks up to. And now that he's retired, he can go ahead and party as much as he wants to.

 

Or New York. That could be funny, because isn't that where Johnny Weir lives now?

Edited December 14, 2010 by methodwriter85

[sat8997]

Or he could get run over by a really big bus in the parking lot of the Ice Palace and die a horribly painful death.

[methodwriter85]

Or he could get run over by a really big bus in the parking lot of the Ice Palace and die a horribly painful death.

 

At which, JJ becomes Will's guardian teen angel.

[PrivateTim]

I think Hoskins has deduced that JJ is his own uncle or something like that. "He's my uncle! Father! Uncle!"

 

[sat8997]

At which, JJ becomes Will's guardian teen angel.

 

While his guardian angel spaces out on the beach looking for seashells instead of watching over him, Will catches the biggest wave of his live only to wipe out spectacularly seconds later, smacking his head on his board and silently drowning before anyone notices.