How do you ask someone out on a date?

[Former Member]

Hey all.

 

It's not really an issue in my life at the moment, but I feel like I've missed some chances by being too nervous to ask someone out. So here's my question: if I want to ask someone out on a date, how do I get that nervousness under control? What's your advice? 'Cause although I know that inexperience is nothing to be ashamed about, I think it kind of sucks that my love life has been pretty much nonexistent for the past 15 years or so.

[Dark]

I don't think that not having a love life at age 4 is much of a loss.

 

As for nerves, I think you have to figure out whether your nerves stem from fear of being rejected (asking the question and being turned down) or fear of simply talking to a stranger. For the former, I think that's something that's always with you. For the latter, only time and practice only confidence gets rid of those.

 

For some of us confidence takes time and practice. If you have a group of friends, practice being the one who initiates things: ask the others to do things with you. Then, when it comes to someone you're romantically interested in, you'll have those experiences to back you up.

[Marzipan]

Take my advice, do not ask anyone on a date unless you already know him/her! I have some recent bad experiences... Just hang out casually and try to get to know the person. Show interest in him/her and be your wonderful self. Do you have some one special in mind?

[Former Member]

Take my advice, do not ask anyone on a date unless you already know him/her! I have some recent bad experiences... Just hang out casually and try to get to know the person. Show interest in him/her and be your wonderful self. Do you have some one special in mind?

 

No, I don't really have anyone special in mind at the moment, but let me tell you something: when I was about 14, I fell in love with this boy from my class and the butterflies stayed with me for a year and a half, give or take. But during those more or less 18 months, I hardly ever dared to talk to the guy, much less ask him out. And it's not like he wasn't single or anything (well, he got himself a girlfriend about a year and a bit after I'd fallen for him), but I was just soooo nervous! And I really don't want to miss any more chances, so next time I fall for someone, I want to be able to talk some confidence into myself. And I really hope anyone here has some advice for me

 

Oh yeah, Dark? Thanks a bunch! Practicing on friends might help. I'll be sure to try it.

[AntonEckhoff]

I think it is all about going into the situation with confidence. The worst that can happen is the person will say 'no'; but at the end of the day, getting a 'no' isn't the end of the world. If you can take the pressure off of yourself, then I think you can go go into it with that confidence. Worst case, nothing will come of it and best case something fantastic will.

 

 

[rustle]

Try not to take things so seriously. Not yourself, the other person, or the invitation. if you build it up too much in your mind, things don't go as well. "Hi" can be the toughest thing in the world to say, followed closely by whatever comes next, if you invest too much thought into it.

 

Next time you see an interesting person, too,take a breath and take in your surroundings, walk up to that person, say hi, and talk about what's around you (the band, the monster truck that just exploded, the lighting in the periodicals section of the library, the exhibit presentation, whatever). Say something positive, or ask him or her for an opinion on what's around you. Don't worry about a date - find out if you WANT to go on a date with that person. If something seems to click, ask if he/she would like to go out some time, to do something you now know you'd both probably enjoy. Otherwise, it's just a conversation, right?

 

 

 

[J_Ross]

Being nervous is part of the fun, isn't it. Getting a yes isn't near as fun if you weren't worried about it. I think its a matter of doing it anyway, not letting that nervousness keep you from trying, and understanding that 'no' isn't the end of the world.

[Docile]

I'm not going to insult you by reminding you it's all about confidence. This is something that has been told to you thousands of times by now, I'm sure. My advice, however, is to remind you that confidence can be keyed up. Instead of agonizing over whether or not they are going to say yes, think about what kind of date you'd like to go on. If you find it hard to speak, or you find your voice quivering a bit, it's helpful to break the tension with a joke. Keeping good posture of course always helps, and remember to smile (I've heard a lot of silliness about people not liking their smiles, but it isn't about showing off your teeth as much as it is about showing that you're an upbeat and fun person).

Edited February 11, 2011 by Docile

[Prince Duchess]

I normally do the classic cave man thing and bash him over the head and drag him back to my place. And sometimes it happens the other way around.

[comicfan]

I find a deep breathe and then simply asking. Don't over think it. The worse you can get is a no. The best is a yes. It doesn't end the world or make things harder. Good luck.

[Michael9344]

Throw a few glances his way. This a sure way to know if he's interested in you. If he looks at you, smile. Do this about three times and then go over and ask him(whether he had noticed you before or not). As comicfan, said, worst case sceneiro he'll say no. Best case scenerio he's say yes.