Being a Gay. Is that a choice?

[West Coast Dude]

Are all gays bi sexual?? It has to start from somewhere isn't it??

 

No clue, I always knew I was gay, because i've never wanted sex with a women

[colinian]

For me it was never learned, it's part of who I am, my genetic makeup. I'm totally comfortable being in my own skin and being gay, and always have been since I realized I liked looking at other boys it in the sixth grade and fell in lust/love with a guy when I was twelve and attached the word "gay" to myself. I've never been interested in having sex with a girl, but I still like looking at good looking girls though not nearly as much as looking at good looking guys.

 

Colin

[Percivial]

Are all gays bi sexual?? It has to start from somewhere isn't it??

 

Everyone's wired differently and there are probably some gay guys who have tried the other side and even enjoyed it a bit before discovering in the long-term, women just aren't a viable option. But speaking for myself, ewwwwww no I love women as friends and can appreciate their looks, but I'm not interested in them and probably couldn't even get it up to do it.

 

And if being gay is a choice, someone must have made it for me immediately I was born, because I certainly can't remember ever choosing that I didn't want to like girls.

Edited April 30, 2011 by Percivial

[Eddy]

Are all gays bi sexual?? It has to start from somewhere isn't it??

 

I really hate it when what I have written suddenly disappears.

Edited April 30, 2011 by Eddy

[One Cheap Suit]

Are all gays bi sexual?? It has to start from somewhere isn't it??

 

 

Nope

 

gay is gay, lesbian is lesbian, bi is bi, straight is straight, trans is trans. There's a continuum and people fall along it, but for the most part those are the big 4

[Y_B]

Nope

 

gay is gay, lesbian is lesbian, bi is bi, straight is straight, trans is trans. There's a continuum and people fall along it, but for the most part those are the big 4

 

You listed 5.

So which group is the impostor?

[West Coast Dude]

Everyone's wired differently and there are probably some gay guys who have tried the other side and even enjoyed it a bit before discovering in the long-term, women just aren't a viable option. But speaking for myself, ewwwwww no I love women as friends and can appreciate their looks, but I'm not interested in them and probably couldn't even get it up to do it.

 

And if being gay is a choice, someone must have made it for me immediately I was born, because I certainly can't remember ever choosing that I didn't want to like girls.

 

Well one of my friends is like how can straight guys say they don't like cock if they've never tried it, how can gays say they don't like pussy if they never tried it (Please excuse my language thanks), and how can lesbians say they never wanted a man if they never tried it. He's got a point. I told him, he should try out his guy theory on me Since he's a model and all Maybe I can convert him to the gay side, he he

[WatchPatRun]

Oh, totally a choice! I think I decided to be gay was also the same day I decided that I was going to be an owl and live in a tree. Well talk to you guys later, I have to go find a rat to eat.

[One Cheap Suit]

You listed 5.

So which group is the impostor?

 

The straights, they're always ruining it for everyone o_O

[Organic]

Attraction, and ultimately sexual orientation is no more a choice than the color of one's eyes... and as previously mentioned, what difference does it make? It is what it is...let it be.

[Cyhort]

Sometimes I wonder about bi-sexual people and how it works.

 

Well, I can't speak for all bisexual's but for me it kind of fluctuates. Like I'll be really into guys to the point where seeing straight porn just totally kills my mood one week and the next I'll find myself getting hard just thinking about boobs. I'd never, ever date a girl again though. Girls are fine for sex, but I have a much deeper emotional connection with guys.

[paya]

You can't change what you are. But you can choose if you want to live according to it. You can be gay but choose to live in straight relationship. You won't be happy, you won't be satisfied, most probably you will seek love affairs aside, but you can choose the life you want to live. So you can't choose to BE gay but you can choose to LIVE gay.

 

I hope I won't get stoned for this.

 

 

[fred123]

You can't change what you are. But you can choose if you want to live according to it. You can be gay but choose to live in straight relationship. You won't be happy, you won't be satisfied, most probably you will seek love affairs aside, but you can choose the life you want to live. So you can't choose to BE gay but you can choose to LIVE gay.

 

I hope I won't get stoned for this.

 

It make perfect sense. But I realise that most of them goes for good looking guys. What happens to those not so good looking??

[Percivial]

Well, I can't speak for all bisexual's but for me it kind of fluctuates. Like I'll be really into guys to the point where seeing straight porn just totally kills my mood one week and the next I'll find myself getting hard just thinking about boobs. I'd never, ever date a girl again though. Girls are fine for sex, but I have a much deeper emotional connection with guys.

 

I really hope this doesn't come off as rude, but does the fluctuation thing work the other way too? Like you'd be totally into boobs and not want guys at all? It kinda made me curious because if it does, it raises the possibility that if you are in a relationship then there'd be down times when you wouldn't want to have sex with the guy you're with, which might be a bit difficult. I hope the question came across like I wanted it to.

Edited May 1, 2011 by Percivial

[paya]

It make perfect sense. But I realise that most of them goes for good looking guys. What happens to those not so good looking??

 

I don't understand how this plays any role in deciding what kind of life one wants to live?

[fred123]

I don't understand how this plays any role in deciding what kind of life one wants to live?

 

[fred123]

It's like a not so gd looking guy can't find a partner as most if them wants a good looking partner. So this nit so good looking guy can't chose to be gay but pretend to be straight.. I'm not sure if I say it correctly, but that is what I meant...

[Cyhort]

I really hope this doesn't come off as rude, but does the fluctuation thing work the other way too? Like you'd be totally into boobs and not want guys at all? It kinda made me curious because if it does, it raises the possibility that if you are in a relationship then there'd be down times when you wouldn't want to have sex with the guy you're with, which might be a bit difficult. I hope the question came across like I wanted it to.

 

Nope. For years I've had a much stronger desire for guys than girls so I've never really ever fully lost the desire for guy sex. There are times when I don't wanna have sex with my boyfriend but that's more because I'm tired or have a headache or we're just about to leave to go out and he gets all grabby.

[West Coast Dude]

This might be a good time I share this video, which explains why people are gay, in a cute format Hope everyone likes it:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY

[John Galaor]

Absolutely not a choice, we are who we are, we cant help who we like or who we fall in love with.

 

the trouble as said Alyce in Wonderland is that "words once uttered have a life of its own".

 

Being an alien among an English speaking crowd, I am very sensible to the meaning of words. Then, some words puzzle me or take me aback. I got clueless with some words. Most times, when I had not a dictionary I had to vex myself with those words. But now I am like... a rich man, and I got my own dictionary. I even can consult on the Internet for the meaning of words.

I would not entertain you much, My consult on the net said,

 

choice   [chois] noun, adjective, choic·er, choic·est.

–noun

1. an act or instance of choosing; selection: Her choice of a computer was made after months of research. His parents were not happy with his choice of friends. 2. the right, power, or opportunity to choose; option: The child had no choice about going to school. 3. the person or thing chosen or eligible to be chosen: This book is my choice. He is one of many choices for the award.

 

we are then forced to look for choosing.

 

 

choose

   /tʃuz/ Show Spelled [chooz] verb, chose; cho·sen or ( Obsolete ) chose; choos·ing. –verb (used with object) 1. to select from a number of possibilities; pick by preference: She chose Sunday for her departure. 2. to prefer or decide (to do something): He chose to run for election. 3. to want; desire.

 

to answer the question it all depends which part of the meaning we "choose".

 

If we accept point 1 it means we can "select" if we like girls or boys?

Can a gay man select that? I think he cannot. Most of them do not.

 

then, if we accept the step 2, we have the word "prefer" then to be gay is a choice. For gays prefer a person of his same sex.

 

Then if we accept the point 3, we have the word "want" or "desire", that means we want to have sex or desire to have sex with a person of our own sex.

 

Then the meaning is at least "contradictory" according to the dictionary. It is a choice and it is not, at the same time.

 

That's the reason I included a topic about free will. When I consulted the dictionary, "freewill" simple meant that "we do something on our own", that is voluntarily. That is if you are not forced by external agents, it is an exercise of freewill.

 

If we were to analyze the question farther, when we do something on our own, why we do it? Mostly because we have an inner force that pushed us towards doing this, in spite of being prohibited, or in spite that we know that we risk the opprobrium of our society. Think of Saudi Arabia, where gays are beheaded in a public place from time to time. Or in Iran, where from time to time they hang some gays in a public place.

 

Then, we cannot be gay in a capricious way, as in a fancy, like we were willing to attract the attention of the public or something. Then, if we do this, this behavior is forced by an inner force we have. We do not do this or that gay thing to please the crowds and win applauses.

The conclusion is that if we brave the opprobrium or hate of society with our deeds, then this cannot be a case of freewill, for it is somewhat forced by an inner tendency.

 

Sorry, if someone thinks I am getting thick with this analysis. We cannot do a deconstruction of the language without a little work of reasoning.

 

We do it because we love it? Yes. We do it in spite of being rebuked and rebuffed by society? Yeah.

 

the problem that remains is that the prohibition of being gay is a part of a "kosher" doctrine. Some elements of the "kosher" doctrine of the Jews went to Christianity and some others to Islam. The prohibition of being gay is simply an element of the "kosher code" of behavior.

 

Then, while a Muslim or a Jew has not any problem to accept the prohibition of eating pork meat, or other norms, those Jews or Muslims that are gay had problems to accept the prohibition. They are risking the rejection of society and sometimes risking their life. Nobody would go there risking their life unless an inner force were pushing him towards that behavior.

I recommend to visit the topic BIOLOGICAL EXUBERANCE posted by me in the lodge. It talks about the homosexual behavior or many animals.

[West Coast Dude]

It's like a not so gd looking guy can't find a partner as most if them wants a good looking partner. So this nit so good looking guy can't chose to be gay but pretend to be straight.. I'm not sure if I say it correctly, but that is what I meant...

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some guys could find one guy really hot, the other wouldn't be interested at all.

 

You can't change what you are. But you can choose if you want to live according to it. You can be gay but choose to live in straight relationship. You won't be happy, you won't be satisfied, most probably you will seek love affairs aside, but you can choose the life you want to live. So you can't choose to BE gay but you can choose to LIVE gay.

 

I hope I won't get stoned for this.

 

 

 

I think what's worse than that is straight guys who act gay to get close to chicks and then say want to try women. I think that's just so pathetic, don't you think? Have you heard of this at all?

[DragonMando]

What, you tried being a gay??

 

And the reverse. I'm just me, and I don't really fall into either pattern. I know who I like to sleep with, but the surrounding behaviours don't seem to like either mold at all.

[John Galaor]

I don't think it's a choice to be gay. Sometimes I wonder about bi-sexual people and how it works. I know a couple bi men who realy want to be with men, but are scared to come out of the closet and live the gay life .So they got married and have kids. And they cheat on their wifes with gay guys who are young. Not saying that's wrong or right, but isn't that messed up.

 

I think it's looks that ignite interest. I mean you see a fit guy, who's well dressed and groomed walking down the street or an overweight, just grabbed some clothes and headed out the door. Who would you hit on? Think about it..

 

the appearance of a person says much about his hormonal state. Then, it is my theory that most gay people love young healthy looking strong people. So, they cannot look fat or something. Excess of fat shows like he is lacking libido. Something is unbalanced in this body. Of course, as we are getting older, our levels of testosterone lower, and we start to gain weight by accumulating fat.

 

Testosterone makes for a lean body, with little fat. There is not any need to have overdeveloped muscles. But muscles are a mark of having enough testosterone. Then, my idea is that most gays do not feel attracted to feminine gays, but they had to be mostly manly. On the other hand, people high on testosterone would prefer feminine gays. That calls for the well know stereotype of top and bottom gays. Of course there must be intermediate cases, in which both can be top and bottom alternatively. Some animals involved in homosexual relations take turns at mounting, while others mounters do not accept to be mounted.

 

I think bisexuals are a case of intermediate sexuality, a case of being between totally gay and totally straight.

 

I will post a theory of mine, mostly a hypothesis, about homosexuality. I would prepare it and present it in the lodge.

[fred123]

And the reverse. I'm just me, and I don't really fall into either pattern. I know who I like to sleep with, but the surrounding behaviours don't seem to like either mold at all.

 

And the reverse. I'm just me, and I don't really fall into either pattern. I know who I like to sleep with, but the surrounding behaviours don't seem to like either mold at all.

 

[fred123]

And the reverse. I'm just me, and I don't really fall into either pattern. I know who I like to sleep with, but the surrounding behaviours don't seem to like either mold at all.

 

 

Are you a bi than??