Limericks Anyone?

[Mark92]

My sound card died honest and truly hahahahaha very funny Dannsar your just too good

 

 

 

 

Well Marky's bought another PC

Cos he's lost without music hehe!

If he thinks we believe THAT

He's a daft little rat

Cos we know about his kind of glee

 

[Dannsar]

I had a wee thought, so I barked

I touched a wee nerve, where I parked

It's a touchy wee thing...

A kick in the ring

As I know, now I'm bloody well sarked

[Mark92]

Hey theres some hidden meanings there, what happened? good limerick too

 

 

 

 

I had a wee thought, so I barked

I touched a wee nerve, where I parked

It's a touchy wee thing...

A kick in the ring

As I know, now I'm bloody well sarked

 

Nice one Greg well done

 

 

 

 

Here's one summing up my day today

 

 

I just haven't had the time

To create an interesting rhyme

All day on the job

Makes me want to sob

My career really should be a crime

 

[Greg_A]

And here is another job inspired one:

 

I work with all things fiduciary

In this economy I am quite wary

That I work for a bank

Sure hope it don't tank

Cuz the job market is just plain scarey

[Mark92]

Oh very up market this one and as usual i'm waiting on points lol good one Greg thanks

 

 

 

 

 

And here is another job inspired one:

 

I work with all things fiduciary

In this economy I am quite wary

That I work for a bank

Sure hope it don't tank

Cuz the job market is just plain scarey

 

[K.C.]

The old Russian doctor did smoke.

Every day I would pray that he’d choke.

He is lazy and mean,

smiles are never to be seen,

lacking people skills, he’s sure to go broke.

 

 

This is a special Limerick for a special jackass at work!

 

 

[Dannsar]

My new limerick is written, but unfortunately I can't post it here yet, cos it's the punchline to my latest story. So, if you want to see it, you'll have to read the chapter The Microphone in my flash fiction collection 'Bits'

[Dannsar]

Hurrah, it's the last of the Potters

The Jakey has shut up her jotters

But here are my fears

There'll be lachrymose tears

And noses a-running with snotters

[Dannsar]

At last the red banner is furled

Tomorrow, no News of the World

The peace will be bliss

Without this rag full of piss

And a life that is considerably less scurled

[Dannsar]

There once was a young man from Perth

Who liked having sex on wet earth

The feeling of mud

While baw deep in fud

Was amazing with the boatman in berth

 

You know ... it took me over a week to work out how to do the last line on that! It's also one of the more naughty ones I've done

[Dannsar]

There once was a man in Belize

Who kept his cock covered in cheese

His boyfriend would beg

But he'd insist on the smeg

And use it as 'shuffling grease'

 

Ewwwch. Too much, even for me

[Dannsar]

Well, Cleo, she sure liked to clasp

Her little man, Ceasar's, wee asp

But it stuck out its tongue

Which she got in the bung

And her breathing became just ... a gasp

 

I've got an appointment with the police ... I wish to hell they'd arrive ... this is getting out of control, now

[Mark92]

Another goody Dannsar well done

 

 

 

 

 

Hurrah, it's the last of the Potters

The Jakey has shut up her jotters

But here are my fears

There'll be lachrymose tears

And noses a-running with snotters

 

LMAO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, Cleo, she sure liked to clasp

Her little man, Ceasar's, wee asp

But it stuck out its tongue

Which she got in the bung

And her breathing became just ... a gasp

 

I've got an appointment with the police ... I wish to hell they'd arrive ... this is getting out of control, now

 

Eeeewwww no man :boy:

 

 

 

 

There once was a man in Belize

Who kept his cock covered in cheese

His boyfriend would beg

But he'd insist on the smeg

And use it as 'shuffling grease'

 

Ewwwch. Too much, even for me

 

You are the king indeed ive done these last to first lol

 

 

 

 

 

There once was a young man from Perth

Who liked having sex on wet earth

The feeling of mud

While baw deep in fud

Was amazing with the boatman in berth

 

You know ... it took me over a week to work out how to do the last line on that! It's also one of the more naughty ones I've done

 

Very tpyical well done , I dont and never have had a newspaper lol

 

 

 

 

 

At last the red banner is furled

Tomorrow, no News of the World

The peace will be bliss

Without this rag full of piss

And a life that is considerably less scurled

 

Hahahaha dare you to show it him LMAO well done

 

 

 

 

 

The old Russian doctor did smoke.

Every day I would pray that he’d choke.

He is lazy and mean,

smiles are never to be seen,

lacking people skills, he’s sure to go broke.

 

 

This is a special Limerick for a special jackass at work!

 

 

 

[Dannsar]

There was a young man in a pickle

Who could only but flow with a trickle

It caused him such grief

His emmissions were brief

Orgasms were nought but a tickle

[Greg_A]

Since it's been a bit since I wrote one of these, and since my mind is wading in the gutters....

 

 

 

For guys that like to run around nude

It can be embarrassing when struck with the mood

Suddenly throwing a bone

To everyone it's shown

Chancing arrest for conduct so lewd

[Dannsar]

When holding discussions about preggers

You make yourself open to neggers

They just can't abide

A sustained other side

And f**k your reputation, the beggars

[Dannsar]

A laddie was scratchin his baws

Early one mornin because

In the morning they itch

Well ain't life a bitch

But he'd rather be using his jaws

[Dannsar]

Young ladies who like to drip drip

Homage the wee man in his ship

They stroke his wee head

Till he pops up, quite red

And there's enough going on for sip sip

[Dannsar]

There was a young man from old Doune

Considered a horny wee loon

At the corner he'd stand

Like a man in a band

Fiddling his instrument's tune

[Dannsar]

Helllllo there! Well, my name is Lexie

I can see that you think me quite sexy

But your package is trapped

Let me get it unwrapped

I'm a witch, I'm the bitch, I'm all hexy

[Dannsar]

Seriously though, ain't it good fun

To go naked when out in the sun

You can cook things to brown

With your undies pulled down

And rub them with oil till they're done

[Dannsar]

What has a hazelnut in every bite?

Well it all depends upon what you ate last night

Be it almond, pecan, pea

The only way you'll see

Is forensic inspectation of your shite

[Dannsar]

I like when the soapbox is chattery

Dislike when it's just about battery

From eejits and twits

Who, for giggles and shits

Drag it down into oodles of twattery

 

I've been so wanting to get back in here, and then someone came along with just the right impetus

[Mark92]

What has a hazelnut in every bite?

Well it all depends upon what you ate last night

Be it almond, pecan, pea

The only way you'll see

Is forensic inspectation of your shite

 

Thats just ewwwww on so many levels Dannsar . I thought this thread was done with LOL

 

I like when the soapbox is chattery

Dislike when it's just about battery

From eejits and twits

Who, for giggles and shits

Drag it down into oodles of twattery

 

I've been so wanting to get back in here, and then someone came along with just the right impetus

 

I frequent here myself and just think "Why?" so with you on some of that. Well done its a goody

[KeySeeker]

Young Tommy liked wearing things frilly

And thought his apendage looked silly.

So he changed his whole life with a very sharp knife

And now hes not Tommy, hes Tilly.