Limericks Anyone?

[Mark92]

HEY Guys, Keep them as clean as possible please. We dont want the wrath of Lugh LOL

[Mark92]

One to start you all off, this one found on web.

 

There was once a Rabbi from Keith,

 

Who circumsized men with his teeth,

 

It wasnt the treasure,

 

Nor sexual pleasure,

 

But to get at the cheese underneath!

[Audi]

I'm not good at this game

[Mark92]

Hey dont be sad look on the internet and find one you think is funny LOL

I'm not good at this game

 

[Audi]

Oh, if i could snatch from the internet... then i'm good at it!!

[Agaith]

Here's one attempt at me making one

 

There was a guy from Kentucky

 

Who thought he was incredibly lucky

 

To have such a large cock

 

That no one could mock

 

When his jokes were amazingly mucky

 

 

[Cailen]

There once was a boy called Mark

Poor lad couldn't sleep in the dark

So he stayed up all night, and slept in the light

And now he's a loon and a lark

 

[Mark92]

Nice one Stuby hahahaha

 

Here's one attempt at me making one

 

There was a guy from Kentucky

 

Who thought he was incredibly lucky

 

To have such a large cock

 

That no one could mock

 

When his jokes were amazingly mucky

 

 

 

Hahahaha thanks Cailen ... very funny

 

There once was a boy called Mark

Poor lad couldn't sleep in the dark

So he stayed up all night, and slept in the light

And now he's a loon and a lark

 

 

[Mark92]

Well this one is a bit of a cheat as its from my workhand Luke, but its funny

 

There was once a girl called Jill,

 

Who used dynomite sticks for a thrill,

 

She lost her vagina,

 

In North Carolina,

 

And bits of her tits in Brazil!

[Bumblebee]

I cant write limericks,

its like tying a bunch of sticks,

like shoving some yahoo,

up the wazoo

yea cause that rhymes like shit

 

[MikeL]

I previously posted two groups of original limericks in the Poetry section. You may read them at https://www.gayauthors.org/story/MikeL/limerickspart1/1 and https://www.gayauthors.org/story/mikel/limerickspart2.

 

I'm enjoying the new ones here. Keep them coming.

[Mark92]

LMAO Bee that is funnier than anything else here LMAO Well done girl

 

 

I cant write limericks,

its like tying a bunch of sticks,

like shoving some yahoo,

up the wazoo

yea cause that rhymes like shit

 

 

[Mark92]

Hi MikeL Dont think we have met, but thankyou for your contribution

 

I previously posted two groups of original limericks in the Poetry section. You may read them at http://www.gayauthor...imerickspart1/1 and http://www.gayauthor.../limerickspart2.

 

I'm enjoying the new ones here. Keep them coming.

 

[Dark]

A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,

Really liked playing with fire.

One night in the dark

He swam with a shark,

And his voice is now two octaves higher.

click for more

[Mark92]

Hi Dark, Nice to meet you, I really did laugh at this one, i'm having so much fun with these, and hoping everyone else is too. Thanks so much

 

A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,

Really liked playing with fire.

One night in the dark

He swam with a shark,

And his voice is now two octaves higher.

 

click for more

 

[Cjay]

Okay I got one

 

There once was a man named Dave

He kept a dead whore in a cave

She had only one tit and smelled like shit

But damn think of the money he saved!

Edited June 23, 2011 by Cjay Ennix

[Graeme]

One of my favourites from the Internet:

 

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean -

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

[Dannsar]

I've been writing limericks all my life ... I wrote this one when I was eight ....

 

There was a young fly who went flying

And bumped into one who was trying

He said 'deary me'

What a sad sight to see

That fly isn't flying, he's crying

 

I recently returned to limericks, and there are eight new ones in my random collection on here called 'Bits'. ... Here is the last one in that series ...

 

You know how it makes you feel sick,

Getting your tonsils all massaged by dick,

The thing is to swallow,

Cos what is to follow,

Is lovely and juicy and thick.

 

So that one's a bit naughty, but hey ho! Mike00 (above) said it was very difficult to write a good AND clean one. I'm not sure that it's impossible, but there is something about the form that just makes 'worthy' writing unreadable, and 'unworthy' writing a pure joy ... ok, well ... not so pure

[Greg_A]

Ok, here's my feeble attempt at this limerick thing:

 

A limerick is a poem with wit

Rhyming words with just the right fit

A story to beguile

And bring a smile

Makes you laugh so hard you could s*@!

[Mark92]

Hi Cjay, Hahahaha good one , i'm right out of points right now, but I owe you one. Well done and thankyou

 

Okay I got one

 

There once was a man named Dave

He kept a dead whore in a cave

She had only one tit and smelled like shit

But damn think of the money he saved!

 

[Mark92]

Hi Graeme, Nice to meet ya. This i a funny one All out of points but will get back to you when I have some. Many thanks

 

 

One of my favourites from the Internet:

 

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean -

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

[Mark92]

Hey dannsar excellent thankyou for posting loved the second one but thats my thing lmao

 

 

I've been writing limericks all my life ... I wrote this one when I was eight ....

 

There was a young fly who went flying

And bumped into one who was trying

He said 'deary me'

What a sad sight to see

That fly isn't flying, he's crying

 

I recently returned to limericks, and there are eight new ones in my random collection on here called 'Bits'. ... Here is the last one in that series ...

 

You know how it makes you feel sick,

Getting your tonsils all massaged by dick,

The thing is to swallow,

Cos what is to follow,

Is lovely and juicy and thick.

 

So that one's a bit naughty, but hey ho! Mike00 (above) said it was very difficult to write a good AND clean one. I'm not sure that it's impossible, but there is something about the form that just makes 'worthy' writing unreadable, and 'unworthy' writing a pure joy ... ok, well ... not so pure

 

Hey Greg, nice to meet ya too funny thankyou

 

Ok, here's my feeble attempt at this limerick thing:

 

A limerick is a poem with wit

Rhyming words with just the right fit

A story to beguile

And bring a smile

Makes you laugh so hard you could s*@!

 

[Mark92]

Okies here's a couple made up in chat with permission i'll post.

 

There was once a girl called Frost,

 

Who's habit came at a cost,

 

The chocolate she'd hoard,

 

Is what she adored,

 

And somehow her waistlines not lost!

 

 

 

There was once a girl named Anya,

 

If you said the wrong thing she would pan ya,

 

With her sarcastic wit,

 

She'll tease you a bit,

 

but ya cant resist though, now can ya?

 

Thanks girls for letting me post

 

 

[Frostina]

Okies here's a couple made up in chat with permission i'll post.

 

There was once a girl called Frost,

 

Who's habit came at a cost,

 

The chocolate she'd hoard,

 

Is what she adored,

 

And somehow her waistlines not lost!

 

 

 

There was once a girl named Anya,

 

If you said the wrong thing she would pan ya,

 

With her sarcastic wit,

 

She'll tease you a bit,

 

but ya cant resist though, now can ya?

 

Thanks girls for letting me post

 

 

 

 

ROFL!

 

Thanks Marky!

 

they're really awesome!

 

[Mark92]

This one was a must folks

 

There was once a young lad named Stu,

Who was hung like a horse, but who knew?

 

It was not I, who became a spy,

 

I'm guessing of course, wouldn't you?

 

luv ya Stuby