Mother of a (possibly) gay 6 year old boy

[NightOwl88]

Hey yall,

 

I think for my first topic post that this might be a pretty decent one.

 

I found this while I was browsing Gay.net for news and info and followed the link to the original tumblr post. I think it's interesting and pretty sweet. Check out the article and the orginal post.

 

Mother to possible gay 6yo son

 

best,

Owl

[Nephylim]

She's quite right, you know, it should be ordinary not extraordinary. However, in the world as it is it;s truly extraordinary and the most extraordinary part of it is that the lady doesn't see how extraordinary it is.

 

Oh yeah, that lady is a great mother. What makes a great mother, after all? Isn't it someone who truly loves her children and gives them a safe and happy environment to grow into the person they are meant to be, not the person you want them to be?

 

One of the poignant thigs she says is

 

The ones from kids whose parents have evidently failed at the most important part of parenting: Actually loving their kid

 

That's the key I think. If we love our children we love them unconditionally no matter what or who they are.

[JamesSavik]

I'm so jaded that I doubt its real.

[Cia]

It can be real James. My daughter is 7 and has shown that she 'likes' boys since she was 4. My son was teasing her about a crush on a boy band guy in the car the other day and she started teasing him back that maybe he wanted to kiss this actor girl or that actor boy. There was no hesitation about saying he wanted to kiss a boy... though at 5, he's not showing signs of liking either gender, thank goodness Having one kid stare at the teenage neighbor boy as he mows his lawn shirtless is enough right now, LOL.

 

I do get that most parents like the one in the story are a minority. I even get your skepticism. I'm telling the absolute truth about my little story... but if you have never experienced or seen a parent accepting their children wholeheartedly, it's hard to believe. I'd be a pretty big hyopcrite if I cared who my kids end up with, other than a good person, and I try to make no assumptions on how they will be when they grow up. There are good moms out there. Good dads too. It's just a lot more common to hear about the tragic tales, they're more dramatic than the offhand I'm happy for you and short hug a truly accepting parent will wield.

[TetRefine]

I don't believe you can tell if your kid is truly gay/bi/straight until they actually hit puberty and realize what sex/dating/relationships really are. Sure, you can tell if they are gonna be a macho boy's boy, or a more effeminate one, or whatever. But mothers saying "I've known since (insert very young age here)" is, in my opinion, just them trying to convince themselves their son/daughter couldn't have kept such a big secret from them for so long.

[Cia]

I'll agree it's not something you can trust 100% but you can get a good sense before puberty, I think. Parents who pay attention can see that sort of thing and sometimes kids to show their preferences through innocent crushes. I had them on boys and girls as a kid. I try not to make assumptions but I have to say parents who are really involved with their kids and are open to the possibilities just might 'know' more than you think.

[Kev de Cauchery]

The story's keeping me emotional for a few days, I'm sure.

[TetRefine]

I'll agree it's not something you can trust 100% but you can get a good sense before puberty, I think. Parents who pay attention can see that sort of thing and sometimes kids to show their preferences through innocent crushes. I had them on boys and girls as a kid. I try not to make assumptions but I have to say parents who are really involved with their kids and are open to the possibilities just might 'know' more than you think.

 

I tend to believe it has more to do with imitating adults or exploring innocent curiosity then with actual sexual orientation. Again, I just think it shocks (especially mothers) to find out that they didn't even know something so very fundamental about the child they carried, birthed, and raised. So they try to console themselves in looking back for any little shred of evidence (real or imagined) to convince themselves they have always known.

 

You can definitely tell whether or not your kid will be a boyish boy or a girly girl or a effeminate boy or a tom-girl, but as we all know, thats not a very accurate meter of sexuality. If it was, a lot of would have been pegged straight as children.

[Former Member]

I tend to believe it has more to do with imitating adults or exploring innocent curiosity then with actual sexual orientation. Again, I just think it shocks (especially mothers) to find out that they didn't even know something so very fundamental about the child they carried, birthed, and raised. So they try to console themselves in looking back for any little shred of evidence (real or imagined) to convince themselves they have always known.

 

You can definitely tell whether or not your kid will be a boyish boy or a girly girl or a effeminate boy or a tom-girl, but as we all know, thats not a very accurate meter of sexuality. If it was, a lot of would have been pegged straight as children.

 

I agree that knowing someone's sexual orientation so young, is a complex issue, saying that though, I have read and heard many accounts of gays,bi's and lesbians who knew - even as young as six or seven - that they're were a little different in some ways. Myself personally had my first same gender crush - if you can call it that - back when I was about five or six ish. It wasn't really until I was about ten or so I really realised I was gay - or at the time, I considered myself BI.

[K.C.]

It’s wonderful that a parent is so open minded, but at age 6 a child has no concept of what sex is. They might have a crush on a same gender child but as far as identifying their sexuality at that age, I’m skeptical.

 

My kid wanted to marry the cat at that age, then Barney the Dinosaur and then settled on that she was going to marry my sister…6 more years later and she is boy crazy…but I will love her and encourage her no matter what sexual orientation she is. She could still possibly change her mind; I have heard that it’s a woman’s prerogative!

 

Children know when they have thoughts and ideas that are different from the others, but they still need to be nurtured like any other child. As parents we need to just love our children. Care for them; give them the best environment to become honest, upstanding members of society. What sexual preference they have at the end of the day is nobody’s business but their own.