Honesty

[Zombie]

I've started reading Dreamchasers by Grasshopper (excellent beginning - hope it's a good one ) and read this:

 

Jase frowned. "The house? You don't know? I live there now. He left it to me. To me and to Davy. He said you'd never want it ... We'll both be gone tomorrow, if you want to come out. It's never locked."

 

There's so much bad stuff going on in our crappy world, and yet decent honest people are everywhere. This set me thinking of examples:

 

"honesty boxes"

I still find these in rural parts, e.g. farmholdings selling their produce, displayed by the road with just a box for payment

 

Shetland

When I visited my brother a few years ago, he never bothered locking his house either - and he left his keys in the car. He reasoned "this is an island, everyone knows what everyone else is doing, and what would they do with a stolen car anyway?"

 

If you've similar experiences I'd love to hear them. Makes me realize the world isn't such a bad place after all.

[Bill W]

Not in recent years. Growing up as a kid, I lived in the country and we never locked our house. The old woman down the road had a cooky stand, and the cookies were about the size of today's personal pizzas and there were several varieties, which she charged a nickle for. Every afternoon, after she finished her baking, she'd take the fresh cookies up to place in the jars and at the same time remove the money from the small open containers that was there from the previous day. No one ever attempted to cheat her, be it the kids, the adults or even strangers who werre merely passing by, but I'm not sure if that could be done any longer.

[Ashi]

In California, we downsize workforce like there is no tomorrow.... As a side effect, in most smaller state parks, you'll never see a fee collector anymore. Instead, you get a collection box. You insert some money into a supplied envelop by the entrance gate, write down your license plate number on the envelop and stub. Deposit the envelop in the box by the gate, and keep the stub and show it on the car's windshield. That's it. I pay my fees. If I cannot afford it, I just make a U-turn and not going in anymore....

 

I lost my sunglasses a couple times in mall's fitting rooms. Always found them when I returned.

 

I lost my cell phone once in SF's Castro District Diesel Store. The guy called my cousin up (her number was in the phone) and we returned there to pick it up. No unsolicited gay guy called me on that phone afterward (bummer!).

Edited June 19, 2012 by Ashi

[Andy78]

There are a few in the more rural CADW monuments in Wales.

 

I've seen them at Woebley Castle on the Gower Peninsula (the honesty box is actually in somebody's garden ), there is one at the Bishop's Palace in Lamphey (as the visitor centre is only open during the summer months), and I'm sure I've seen one at Tintern Abbey near Chepstow (though I might be wrong on that one).

 

We also have honesty boxes in most of our WHSmith newsagent stores where people can pay for newspapers to save queuing up at the tills (cash register) to pay.

[Cyhort]

Never. I didn't even think thinks like honesty boxes EVER existed, let alone in 2012. We lock our doors and our cars all the time. A few years ago my dad left his car open and someone went in and stole all the loose change out of the cupholder. And it's not like we live in a city or anything. Nice little suburban town in the most crime free county in the state.

[MJ85]

In California, we downsize workforce like there is no tomorrow.... As a side effect, in most smaller state parks, you'll never see a fee collector anymore. Instead, you get a collection box. You insert some money into a supplied envelop by the entrance gate, write down your license plate number on the envelop and stub. Deposit the envelop in the box by the gate, and keep the stub and show it on the car's windshield. That's it. I pay my fees. If I cannot afford it, I just make a U-turn and not going in anymore....

 

It's so funny that you mention this...I work at a state park here in Michigan, and "fee collecting" is among the many things I do on a day-to-day basis. I mainly watch over the spray park in the park, making sure everything's running smoothly and that no one gets hurt. When I have time and don't have something else more pressing to get done...I check people's vehicles to make sure they've got park passes. If someone comes up to me and they don't have a pass, I can sell them one on the spot if they have cash (if they don't, I can direct them where to get one with card/check).

 

We're not always able to have someone at the booth near the entrance, but right now we're looking at having someone there more often.

[VictoryPanda]

When I was younger, I lived in two different communities where everyone knew everyone and we were kind of one big family. My doors were not only unlocked, but usually open for anyone to come inside whenever they pleased. My refrigerator, games, tv, food... everything was just as theirs as it was mine.

 

Living in a more 'up class' area has tried to adjust me to locking everything and trusting no one. Im not ignorant, but its really hard. Some people get really upset when I dont lock my car door but im all "no one wants this thing anyway!". Its just not a custom I grew up with.

[Ashi]

We're not always able to have someone at the booth near the entrance, but right now we're looking at having someone there more often.

 

Yeah, I think that's a good thing. I wonder how much California saved by not hiring people.... I keep shrinking my spending ever since I became unemployed, so I really think it's pretty dumb to lay off people so economy will get even worse. And nobody understand "Wealth of Nation" anymore or what? Government's job is to create jobs and things that encourages business activities (like lowering crime rate, so hiring more police in fact hit two birds with one stone, but that's not what California is doing). Sorry my old finance discipline sort of kick in (it lives with me all these years though I never get around to use it...).

 

When I was younger, I lived in two different communities where everyone knew everyone and we were kind of one big family. My doors were not only unlocked, but usually open for anyone to come inside whenever they pleased. My refrigerator, games, tv, food... everything was just as theirs as it was mine.

 

Living in a more 'up class' area has tried to adjust me to locking everything and trusting no one. Im not ignorant, but its really hard. Some people get really upset when I dont lock my car door but im all "no one wants this thing anyway!". Its just not a custom I grew up with.

 

Pretty similar here, though it's Northern California we are talking about (though I don't feel this safe in Southern California), though we still lock our doors regularly, but it's not something to worry about if you forgot to do that one day when I was much younger. And neighbors actually somewhat knows you (not intimately, but they'll recognize you. It is a big city after all..., though I have to admit I don't know how my city manages to feel like a town rather than what it is).

 

And I HATE lock the door, especially my room or when I am in bathroom. Sometimes my mom would just barge in and I would have to yell at her, "Can't you knock?" Her response would always be, "Can't you lock the door?" Then I will like, "It's my home too, so why should I?" I really don't feel like locking myself up like some prisoner or something. Besides, lock the door makes the room feels smaller (psychological thing...).

[Cyhort]

I really don't feel like locking myself up like some prisoner or something. Besides, lock the door makes the room feels smaller (psychological thing...).

 

I'm the exact opposite, lol. If I'm in my room with my door unlocked I keep freaking out and thinking someone's gonna barge in any second. It feels like my rooms wide open and anyone can just pop in and interrupt me. When it's locked I feel secure. Like I have my own private oasis that no one can get into. It's nice.

[W_L]

New Hampshire used to be similar outside the major cities like in derry, where my mom used to live, the doors can be left unlocked and it would be safe. (The state also is very free with gun owners too, so i wouldn't go into a random house uninvited ).

 

As for honesty boxes, i used to do it all the time in the office. It was the coffee fund, whenever some one makes a cup of coffee they put some money in. I usually prime it with a dollar and some loose change each morning after a cup.

 

It was stopped and changed to a general donation.

Edited June 19, 2012 by W_L

[Ashi]

I'm the exact opposite, lol. If I'm in my room with my door unlocked I keep freaking out and thinking someone's gonna barge in any second. It feels like my rooms wide open and anyone can just pop in and interrupt me. When it's locked I feel secure. Like I have my own private oasis that no one can get into. It's nice.

 

LOL. My room is my oasis also. I hope you weren't doing anything you'd like your mother to find out (or giving her heart attack). LOL! Yeah, it's nice to have one's private space.

[Cyhort]

I hope you weren't doing anything you'd like your mother to find out (or giving her heart attack).

 

 

.....gonna go with no comment on this one lol

[wildone]

One similar item that I did notice last summer and have been keeping my eye on is the 'need a penny, leave a penny' tray at checkouts. I began to notice that in rural areas that they contained more then pennies, some nickels, dimes, quarters, the occasional loonie or toonie ($1 or $2 dollar coins). Whereas in the city you only see pennies and very few if any at that.

 

Sadly this age old give and take system will probably disappear as Canada stamped their last penny about a month ago. Don't know if city folk will be willing to leave a nickel for their neighbour

[JamesSavik]

[Ashi]

 

I actually like this song and Billy Joel. But honesty doesn't have to be lonely.... I see..., your signature....

[Cia]

I grew up in the country. We always locked our house door, but my dad is an extremely paranoid soul. Like he sleeps with a gun just above his head paranoid. I live sort of inside a city now and I always lock my house when I'm not home, or I'm home alone with the kids. I don't worry about the car itself, but we lock it if we have anything inside that is valuable or we are somewhere 'questionable'. There was a lot of theft and such that happened, even there.

 

In the years that I've lived in this city someone tried to steal our trailer with our quads in it, then someone busted a window out of my husband's truck and stole a ton of stuff, including the stereo. Our neighbor had a set of golf clubs stolen in just an hour they were in his driveway in front of his garage door. When we go to parks and trails we see a ton of cars that don't have passes or day stubs here in the city areas.

 

There's just not that many people that will adhere to the rule of not taking advantage of others. I don't distrust everyone without cause, but I'm not naive enough to believe that goodwill and honesty is a real motivator for most people.

[intune]

My town still has honesty boxes at tag sales and stuff, but I think most people around here lock their doors at night. I remember leaving my backpack lying around during high school and college without worrying if someone would go through it or anything. And I once left my phone on the train by accident and it made it all the way to NYC and got turned in and returned with no trouble.

[methodwriter85]

I grew up in the blue-collar suburbs, and I grew up locking my doors and all that. Crime is definitely around, and you're always kind of looking over your shoulders. Newark, Delaware was once the heroin capital of the East Coast.

 

That was the interesting thing about living in Western P.A. for two years- people there definitely didn't seem as concerned about crime there.

[Ashi]

There's just not that many people that will adhere to the rule of not taking advantage of others. I don't distrust everyone without cause, but I'm not naive enough to believe that goodwill and honesty is a real motivator for most people.

 

I think that's one reason why modern life is so stressful, because we assume people aren't honest or good things they do must have some "ulterior motive," or they're out to get us. Honesty/trust/whatever good virtue starts with us. If some bad apple decided to take the advantage of our trust in them, that's their problem. We cannot let them hurt us. My car got broken in once (in a supposedly good area of the town), and it's really hard to trust anything anymore after that, but sometimes some selective life lessons should be unlearned.... Critical is good, too cynical is not. How can anyone trust you if you are out to double guess if they're out to get you? It's similar in concept as "smile and the world smile with you." However, do "trust but verify." Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

 

Ever since I was a kid, I am very good at catching lies. Sometimes I catch lies purely via coincidence. I really don't go out to catch lies for sport..., because I know there is no point finding out the truth, if we are only going to get hurt in the process. Besides, some of those supposedly lies are really misunderstandings. I'd look like an *ss if I confront the person if that's the case. Eventually, I learned to hear no evil, because I don't want to live miserably. Some of those liars even will gloat behind my back (they probably didn't think I know). I just ignore those petty feelings inside me. Besides being around someone who is always suspicious about your nature is very stressful. I am not even sure I want to befriend with someone like that, so I won't become like one.

 

Story time.... Before the eventual, "Sorry, I am not gay" break up, that guy had asked me what I thought about liars (or something similar). I pondered a little bit, and I told him people don't lie to hurt people. They lied to protect themselves. He kind of laughed and thought I was naive about the world. Was I hurt when he said that forever-etched-in-my-heart line to break up with me? Of course. However, he really was a nice guy, so I can only imagine he only said that because it's easier to hate him and therefore, make the whole thing less messy. And maybe he was bisexual or bi-curious, so he wasn't lying (completely...). Anyways, I just mean I don't want to hold a grudge against him, purely because I was inexperienced with love. I just want a well-adjusted life after him, so I trust he has his own reasons, and believe his words are true. Don't know if that makes sense....

[VictoryPanda]

Im about one second from destroying the chain lock on my house because my boyfriend keeps putting it on whenever he comes home from work. Imagine the day he goes to bed and I'm outside trying to get in. I sincerely hate locks. They make me feel closed off from the outside world as if no one is allowed entry without my permission. I'm not a permission kind of guy. I'm a do as you please type of person.

 

On that note, my best friends house use to be invaded by me all the time. Without a phone call nor knock on her door, I would honestly just walk right in and sit down on her couch or go to her room. It got to the point that her family didn't even question my presence at all as being odd.

[Yettie One]

I've always tended to go for older cars, I am a big fan of some of the classic VW models. As a result of owning older vehicles, I have predominantly always left them open when I'm not in town, ie. home, visiting a friend, out of town store etc. I was most irritated once when I went to a Tesco's one evening, and on my return to the car, found the window smashed and the radio player stolen. All the nut had to do was open the damn door.

 

However, I now have a modern GPS SatNav, and have installed a smart sound system into my latest car. For that reason alone, I've now gotten into the habit of locking it.

 

At work we have a honesty system for sweets, snacks, drinks. We had a bit of a revolt against the traditional vending machines in order to obtain a variety. One member of the team each week takes the collection pot and will buy a variety of different and original stuff, and then it's put in the cupboard where we help ourselves and leave a donation. It'd become interesting in that there is like a little competition now to see who can get the whackiest selection of stuff.

 

I'm not sure I'd leave my house open! Too much stuff to loose, and if something terrible did happen, and the insurance found out that you left the doors open that'd void any claim there and then!

I think in the right situation the honesty system works, but also tend to agree with Cia in that there are far too many people too willing to take advantage of peoples trusting natures today.

[Ashi]

I think in the right situation the honesty system works, but also tend to agree with Cia in that there are far too many people too willing to take advantage of peoples trusting natures today.

 

Can't disagree with that (nor was I disagreeing with it in the first place). If you would like to see the perpetual suffering broken, starts with oneself, the little revolution within. If you'd like to see more honesty in the world, start leading by example. Nobody stole my sunglasses I left in the fitting room because that's the way it's always been. It gives you a second thought next time you saw someone left their belongings in a fitting room and how terrible it would be if they couldn't find it where they left. If one day someone's violate that unwritten law/social convention, you bet some of them will take it as if it's his/her right to in turn steal other's sunglasses because the society owes them and all that legitimizing cr@p. "The world isn't fair to me" or "everyone is doing it" are too much of a convenient excuse....

 

Maybe one day "honesty" will be a largely forgotten concept, much like "honor" is today.... Won't stop me from trying to revive some good virtues though. I think it's wonderful we have this topic. The bottom line is, some younger folks are introduced with the concept of honesty box, which they didn't think could exist or work.

[slug]

Around here most houses are unlocked and the few that are locked have the key hanging under the deck. All cars are unlocked with the key in the ignition. It's great on hot days to go into a store and leave the windows wide open and know that no one will steal your cd's or anything else. In the winter everyone leaves the cars running with the heater on when they go into stores. I hate the thought that some day it may not be that way any more.

[Canuk]

i remeber when we sold my grandmother's house. it had been in the family for four generations. when the solicitor asked for the keys to the house, we all looked at eachother and realised that no one had keys for a least two if not three generations! itwas quite funny at the time.