Can Straight be Gay ? Can Gay be Straight ?

[Wally J.]

 

So, I want to know your opinions? Can straight males or females turn homosexuals? In other words do you

think a straight guy can turn into a gay guy? Vice versa. If a straight normal person gets exposed or experience

sex with same sex would he automatically turn gay? I know this seems like a huge topic to cover but I’m curious

to what your thoughts are? Also do you think it’s a sickness or a choice?

 

 

Please don’t be offended at all as I don’t intentionally mean any discrimination.

Everyone is entitled to there own personal views and opinions.

[Wally J.]

Let me introduce my self. Give you an Idea to why this topic happened.

 

I am gay, (Arabic so the thought of coming out I can just forget that forever)I experienced some silly relationships along the way of knowing I’m gay. My first relationship was with a girl that I loved and suddenly had to get away from and of course ended up hurting her, but during our time I didn’t know I’m gay. Years later I get to know a straight guy through chat. That had problems with his girlsfriend became friends with him and became the person kind of in between him and his girl. Little did I know I fell in love with him and he didn’t know it until 2 years later? We now have been together for 3 years. He still doesn’t have interests in any guy. He never had sex with any other guy then me. And just normally checks guys out but doesn’t see himself with anyone beside me. IF  he was to move on it would be with a girl.

 

I’m not trying to prove anything here but eager to know your opinions.

Edited January 5, 2013 by Wally J.

[Y_B]

You can't turn into what you're not already wired to be, but the realization and acceptance of who you are and what you like is something that is always changing.

[rustle]

Just as a guy can be attracted to only one girl, and have no interest in others, he can also be attracted to only one guy. What we find attractive in a partner is a very personal and individual thing.

 

Is it his smile, her eyes, the open friendliness, smell? I don't think most people know what they're looking for until they find it. And then, neurons firing, the little head often takes over, and many of us never give it a second thought. Is knowing why we want going to change anything? Probably not. We just know we want.

 

How many times have you known a guy to say he only likes blondes, then ends up with a brunette or redhead? He's figured out he likes blondes, but finds something in the redhead that overrides his fixation on blondes.

 

To some extent, we can open ourselves up to find something we like, and we can ignore outside stimulation when we find someone.

[Michael9344]

Just as a guy can be attracted to only one girl, and have no interest in others, he can also be attracted to only one guy. What we find attractive in a partner is a very personal and individual thing.

 

Is it his smile, her eyes, the open friendliness, smell? I don't think most people know what they're looking for until they find it. And then, neurons firing, the little head often takes over, and many of us never give it a second thought. Is knowing why we want going to change anything? Probably not. We just know we want.

 

How many times have you known a guy to say he only likes blondes, then ends up with a brunette or redhead? He's figured out he likes blondes, but finds something in the redhead that overrides his fixation on blondes.

 

To some extent, we can open ourselves up to find something we like, and we can ignore outside stimulation when we find someone.

This is a better way of saying what I was going to say. Sometimes it isn't important to label someone or something, cos it isn't constant. What's important is finding what you like and can work with, then stick with it.

[Warrior1]

In the end we are all bisexuals I think. We just lean towards one end, or scattered in between. I don't think anyone is exclusively 100% gay or straight. Besides one can love someone without being physically attracted to him or her. That's possible for even romantic love.

[layla]

I don't think attraction has much to do with male or female so much as it has to do with the individual the attraction is for. I think true attraction really comes from knowing the person, not what you see on the outside and not what sex they are, but when you know their mind and heart and soul.

[Finn]

Excellent choice of topics, Mr. Wally!

 

Sexually it s a bizarre thing, to say the least. People say one thing, and attempt to stand firm by said resolution, but I think there might always be a subconscious voice saying otherwise. I mean, there's been several stiff-neck American politicians, denouncing homosexual and le homosexuals with every ounce of their heart, only to be caught in an unsavoury (for them, anyway) situation with one.

 

As these guys above have said, it probably is more of an individual thing. You /love/ someone for who they are inside, mind and soul, not for their body. Unfortunately, some of the less worldly among us limit their options based on conscious efforts, rather than allowing what might happen to happen. One can't really blame them though, as: "self-determination".

 

See? Strangeness all around; quite a delicate thing. To answer your question though: throw away such restrictive terms, mortal! You are human, and you're attracted to humans, and you will love what you love regardless of what's between their legs.

 

Or maybe that's just me. Though I think I prefer guys, if I fall for a girl--or even something in between--meh. Though, "fall for" has to mean more than "have a superficial attraction for", which is where things get hazy again... Haha.

[Wally J.]

I don't think attraction has much to do with male or female so much as it has to do with the individual the attraction is for. I think true attraction really comes from knowing the person, not what you see on the outside and not what sex they are, but when you know their mind and heart and soul.

 

 

 True its what their minds, heart and soul.

 

In the end we are all bisexuals I think. We just lean towards one end, or scattered in between. I don't think anyone is exclusively 100% gay or straight. Besides one can love someone without being physically attracted to him or her. That's possible for even romantic love.

 

 

 You know you are right, We cant just be 100 % Gay or Straight I mean yeah interests has its things but like you say and I agree with you. We are scattered all around.

[Wally J.]

Just as a guy can be attracted to only one girl, and have no interest in others, he can also be attracted to only one guy. What we find attractive in a partner is a very personal and individual thing.

 

Is it his smile, her eyes, the open friendliness, smell? I don't think most people know what they're looking for until they find it. And then, neurons firing, the little head often takes over, and many of us never give it a second thought. Is knowing why we want going to change anything? Probably not. We just know we want.

 

How many times have you known a guy to say he only likes blondes, then ends up with a brunette or redhead? He's figured out he likes blondes, but finds something in the redhead that overrides his fixation on blondes.

 

To some extent, we can open ourselves up to find something we like, and we can ignore outside stimulation when we find someone.

 

 

 Well said, Like the person am with before we were to know we love each other, He had a thing for brunettes and that he would only be with someone thats tan and special preference of his, But at the end hes with a complete different gender. I guess like you said its when your neurons fire at your head and you just end up with someone you have the feelings and that special heart beat for.

[Menace]

I'm sorry, but this sounds like a situation of Joey and Jake.

[Graeme]

We've had discussions like this in the past, though none in recent years.

 

The first question that comes to mind is "what is your definition of 'gay'?"

 

Taking myself as an example, I'm a married man with two naturally conceived children. I've been married now for over 20 years. About 8 years ago, I told my wife that I'm gay. After a period of stress (during which my wife needed significant psychological counselling), our marriage survived. I still can't think of anyone else I'd want to share my life with. However, if I did have to, it would be with another guy, not another woman. I just don't find other women sexually attractive.

 

Am I gay? I self-identify as gay, despite the fact that I'm in a happy heterosexual relationship. I don't consider myself to be bisexual because I don't find myself sexually attracted to women.

 

My personal interpretation is that gay, straight and bi-sexual are determined by what gender you find yourself sexually attracted to. There can be rare exceptions (I know of one guy who considers himself straight, but had a long term relationship with another guy - the only guy he's ever found himself attracted to), but if you overwhelmingly find yourself attracted to the same gender, you're gay, and if you overwhelmingly find yourself attracted to the opposite gender, you're straight. If you find you can be attracted to either gender, even if there's a significant bias towards one (eg. 80% attracted to men, but also find 20% of your eye candy to be women), then you're bisexual.

 

Please note that this is completely divorced from the actual act of sex. I consider myself gay, but I'm quite capable of "performing" with a woman.

 

Sexual attraction is not a choice - you don't choose who you find attractive. The act of sex, though, is a choice - you can choose who you have a sexual relationship with (leaving aside the topic of rape, something which shouldn't have any part in a discussion on the concept of sexual orientation).

[Celethiel]

My thoughts are... Love makes no consideration to sexuality or even sex. as it is an emotional atatchment to a person their personality and so on, or their need.

I had a friend who was as gay as the day was bright, except he was also in love with a girl.

On the opposing end of this thought, it is quite possible he was a severly male leaning bi guy...

and your boyfriend is severly female leaning bi guy.

 

I have always theorized by the laws of statistics that there are far more bi people then there are gay or strait. Mind you many on both sides might deny said bi-ness for one reason or another even to themselves, but still.