how to control my crush for a straight subordinate ?

[sandykv58]

I am forty six yrs old and I am the principal of a College. I am a gay.I am fallen in love with my 60 yrs old subordinate clerk. He is very handsome and sexy. But he is straight and not interested in gay relationship. Every day I imagine him with me. I try to control my feelings for him. But everyday when I see him I wish if I could have him. What shoud I do?

[Krista]

Nothing. Just like married people who find a nice match outside the marriage. If they want to remain committed to the person they are with, then they don't act on those feelings. They will come up, we are only human. Our brains and our hormones try to get us into trouble, but it is our 'actions' that do. It will go away or fluctuate between bouts of jealousy/dismissal and intense attraction.

 

But you are old enough to know that straight means straight and gay means gay, if the guy is straight, then there isn't a button on him that you can push to get your way as far as that goes.

 

Just keep yourself professional by the book and do not allow yourself to even tip-toe the line. If you do, then you have opened yourself to 'possibilities' that only exist in your head. Won't be a wise or good course of action at all.  

[Cia]

Fantasy and Reality are two very different things. Just as a woman you work with cannot fall in love with you and make you change from being gay, you cannot fall in love or lust with a straight man and make him gay. I think the gay for you story trope does a disservice to many people. We are what we are, and that's that. Obviously there are sliding scales of sexuality and attraction, but beyond the fact this guy doesn't appear to be interested in you from your post, you have a position of authority over him. Violating that position, especially with a subordinate who doesn't identify as gay or bi or even mildly interested in men, would make you a perpetrator of sexual harassment. That is definitely not something you want to be known for.

 

Feelings aren't always logical, of course. But without a reciprocal relationship, it's really hard to consider yourself in 'romantic love'. Staying in love takes a lot of work, on both parts of those in a relationship. If I were you, I'd focus more on keeping him as a friend and look elsewhere for a romantic relationship where you're more likely to find someone interested back.

[Sasha Distan]

I'm going to go with, very simply: Look Elsewhere. Cia and Krista said all the useful stuff.

[mickey1952]

What Krista, Cia, & Sasha said. But I still feel for you. Good luck!

[sandykv58]

Thanks a lot to Krista and Cia for their advice. Thaks for Micky too for his concern. I want to share some experiences with mickey. My email is sandykv58@gmail.com. please contact.

[Y_B]

He's 60 he doesn't know what he wants anymore besides what brand of dentures last the longest and which walker glides the easier...but the man doesn't choose the walker, the walker chooses the man.

 

Take him out for pudding or something.

[Sasha Distan]

Generally, if you want to contact a member, use the PM system. putting your email address on a public forum is not generally seen as a wise idea.

[TetRefine]

Common sense should answer this question for you.  Krista and Cia spelled it out.

Edited January 27, 2014 by TetRefine

[methodwriter85]

   Crushes tend to fade pretty fast if there's nothing reciprocal about them and you get to know them as a person instead of as a fantasy.

Edited January 27, 2014 by methodwriter85

[Y_B]

   Crushes tend to fade pretty fast if there's nothing reciprocal about them and you get to know them as a person instead of as a fantasy.

 

the best/worst is when your thoughts start to fade and fade until you're almost convinced you've got it handled cuz the other person is reciprocal but then BAM they do something unexpectedly intriguing and your whole interest rushes back in 2 seconds and you're like...phukk

[W_L]

the best/worst is when your thoughts start to fade and fade until you're almost convinced you've got it handled cuz the other person is reciprocal but then BAM they do something unexpectedly intriguing and your whole interest rushes back in 2 seconds and you're like...phukk

I stopped crushing after i hit 25, no point in hoping and wanting someone that you can't love fully.

 

Love to me is based on levels of intensity, a crush is like playing call of duty modern warfare on easy It might seem good to play through the plot, but it's missing substance. You can crush after everything with two legs and an ass or dick, but you never really get anything intimate.