Flux

[Gene Splicer PHD]

Not unless his mom or dad had an affair...hmm out of wedlock...there's a plot...not an heir, etc. LOL he'd be poor and not one of the gentry

 

BRB writing fanfic

Edited July 12, 2014 by Gene Splicer PHD

[Mark Arbour]

 

He gets it, understands he's being a shit, even feels bad about it, but plows on anyway. I think we've all danced that dance.

 

 

 

No one is perfect. 

 

I've kept my council and said nothing to this point, but Wade's a bastard.

 

See above.

 

[Headstall]

That's a very fair POV.

 

He gets it, understands he's being a shit, even feels bad about it, but plows on anyway. I think we've all danced that dance.

 

My concern is the sexual mismatch. Speaking from experience, that much of a mismatch is untenable over the long term in a couple where monogamy is desired or expected. Dude is treating Wade like a woman. I always said it takes a bottom to really know how to top well.

Hey Henson

Re: dancing that dance...not to at all sound superior... I have never danced that dance...but I have been on the receiving end. That part of the chapter, where we realize that Wade was aware the whole time of the pain he was causing Matt and the wrongness of his actions, was really hard for me. In truth, I was kind of shocked and I am struggling hard to understand it. It makes me realize more and more that I don't really relate to much of what these characters do and I wonder if that is something that falls on me...as in, Am I really that different? Food for thought...

 

I agree totally with you on the mismatch thing. I stayed way too long in a relationship where the sex was lousy. I even talked to him about it but nothing changed. I think we are able to change and adapt and grow sexually to a degree, but the essential makeup must be there...the result was that the resentment on my part grew...I went through a period of blaming myself which i finally figured out was ridiculous...and that is time I will never get back...cheers...Gary

[Headstall]

I am curious about something. Brad and Wade tested negative...but at least in 2002...not enough time has elapsed in the barebacking connection between them and Matt for them to be considered in the clear. That would require a six month time period. Am I wrong?

[Kitt]

Wouldn't that depend on who infected whom and when?  Brads last time with Cody was right after 9-11 so was about 9 months back.

[Headstall]

Wouldn't that depend on who infected whom and when?  Brads last time with Cody was right after 9-11 so was about 9 months back.

 

Yes...Brad is in the clear on Cody...It is the Brad/Wade/Matt bareback connection I am curious about.

[Kitt]

As I pointed out in a review a chapter or so back - the believed progression of potential infection was Cody > Brad > Wade > Matt. But somehow at least one link in that chain has been broken, possibly two pending Wade's results, so we are right back to the big question. Who could have infected Matt if this is not a false positive?

[Headstall]

As I pointed out in a review a chapter or so back - the believed progression of potential infection was Cody > Brad > Wade > Matt. But somehow at least one link in that chain has been broken, possibly two pending Wade's results, so we are right back to the big question. Who could have infected Matt if this is not a false positive?

 

OK so Cody is out. Matt is positive and he barebacked Wade, I am assuming a number of times...as did Brad. In my figuring it may be possible that Brad has the required six months (although I don't think so) but I don't think it's possible that Wade does...he and Matt slept together at Alex's two weeks ago and while they may not of barebacked then it is highly likely the barebacked quite recently.

[Headstall]

OK so Cody is out. Matt is positive and he barebacked Wade, I am assuming a number of times...as did Brad. In my figuring it may be possible that Brad has the required six months (although I don't think so) but I don't think it's possible that Wade does...he and Matt slept together at Alex's two weeks ago and while they may not of barebacked then it is highly likely the barebacked quite recently.

 

Upon checking...on june 7, Wade and Matt barebacked each other in the shower with no issues about barebacking...didn't check earlier than that. On June 14 Brad barebacked Wade after Wade told him about barebacking with Matt. This would surely indicate that if Matt is positive, then neither Wade or Brad are yet in the clear as only a couple of months have passed.

[Henson]

Don't get stuck on the six months. That's just a long enough period for the certainty to approach 100%. Most infected people are producing detectable antibodies within a couple weeks.

[Henson]

I'll be a little more clear about the whole issue of Wade's behavior. I'm not excusing it. I still think he's acting like a shit. I'm just happy that 1. He realizes it, and 2. The other characters aren't excusing his behavior.

 

For him to continue to be held in the same high esteem he was, for his judgment to be highly regarded by the other characters (especially Will) would strain credulity. But if he's just decided to give himself license to disregard duty and act selfishly for once, AND he's paying a price for it (both internal and external), I can accept that. He's human. Maybe it's about time his pedestal cracked. JP was never perfect, but is the most compelling character in all of their lives.

[Headstall]

Don't get stuck on the six months. That's just a long enough period for the certainty to approach 100%. Most infected people are producing detectable antibodies within a couple weeks.

I don't know about now but that was not the case in 2002 when I was getting an in depth education from ACT (Aids Commitee of Toronto) . The minimum time from exposure to detection was three months and that was totally unreliable. That info was seconded by the Hassle Free Clinic. If you got a clean bill at three months it meant nothing at the time and this info was really pushed and even advertised in bars by different organizations. You couldn't stand at a urinal with out getting a lesson to read about safe sex and testing .

[GLH]

Having worked almost 30 years in an environment where exposure was possible, our HIV/AIDS education was generally current and pretty extensive. If there were even the possibility of exposure, we were immediately tested and put on the cocktail, then retested at 3, 6, 9, and 12 months. Only after the final test at 12 months and five negative test results were we considered clear. Unless something has changed since 2010, I'm thinking that that is still the policy.

[Mark Arbour]

I'll be a little more clear about the whole issue of Wade's behavior. I'm not excusing it. I still think he's acting like a shit. I'm just happy that 1. He realizes it, and 2. The other characters aren't excusing his behavior.

 

For him to continue to be held in the same high esteem he was, for his judgment to be highly regarded by the other characters (especially Will) would strain credulity. But if he's just decided to give himself license to disregard duty and act selfishly for once, AND he's paying a price for it (both internal and external), I can accept that. He's human. Maybe it's about time his pedestal cracked. JP was never perfect, but is the most compelling character in all of their lives.

 

I really like how you referenced JP here, because as you noted, he certainly wasn't infallible, and could be quite vicious when he felt that his family was threatened.  I took your point to mean that Wade's actions, which were undeniably selfish and possibly cruel, will blemish his reputation, but it is possible for him to recover.  I'd agree with that.

[Timothy M.]

It's interesting to see how high expectations are concerning Wade and how harshly he's condemned for mistakes and uncharacteristic behavior. Even when he's shown to realize and regret it fairly quickly. I cannot think of any other character in CAP, who is so aware of his own failings, so honest about them and so quick to acknowledge and apologize and correct his behavior or take action to repair the damage.

 

Yes, Wade behaved selfishly for a few weeks due to his infatuation with Alex. How about Matt behaving selfishly and badly for MONTHS after 9/11 ? Or JJ being a selfish brat for years ? Or shall we talk about Claire and Marie being snobs and disregarding Will's feelings and being unable to admit they were at fault ? And I'm sure lots of people can point to instances where Will was wrong and unable to admit it. I'm not even gonna start on Brad and Robbie...

 

For my part I find it refreshing to see Wade being shown as a human being who loses control and does spontaneous and maybe stupid things. I still consider Alex to be more likely to end up as a long term friend, and I hope Matt will realize this and give Wade time to work things out. In fact it's probably good they each have something they'll need to forgive each other for (Matt has Brad and Alex, and Wade the whole period after 9/11 - in fact most of college).

 

I'm actually impressed at how well Matt has handled the situation so far, he's almost redeemed himslf in my eyes. Plus if Will can forgive him and come to like him, I'm sort of bound to do so as well.

 

Thank you again Mark, for giving us a Wade POV chapter.

[Kitt]

There is a fine line point here that no one has looked at.  Yes, it probably is a good thing that both Wade and Matt will have to forgive each other before moving on, no matter whether that is to friendship or a more meaningful relationship. But there is a big difference between forgiving, forgetting, and trusting.  My gram used to take great pleasure in taking my dates aside and telling them to be very careful when considering actions that might hurt me. Her exact words, and I know this because each and every one of them came back with the same thing, "Kitt will probably forgive you a stupid hurtful action, she may even trust you again after, but she will never, ever forget it."

[Bucket1]

I've kept my council and said nothing to this point, but Wade's a bastard.

 

At this stage, I have to agree with you 100%. I posted my first review and Mark told me to wait until the end of Flux before I write off Wade - so I will wait.

 

However the insights in Chap 38 only made things worse for me - Wade is not a love struck puppy - he knows what he is doing, he knows it is hurting the two most important people in his life (Matt and Riley) and still he does it. People are not perfect and there are still a few chapters left for Wade to come to his senses.

 

I have thought about this a bit more and wonder if Wade is actually frightened of a grownup Matt. Since 9-11 and throughout Flux, Matt has really grown as a person. Wade dumped him because he was not "life-partner" material, not grown up enough, not "presentable", too difficult to deal with. Matt was and did act like a college student. He has changed - a lot. If Wade met Matt now, he would have the ideal partner - sexy, smart, loyal, selfless and dependable without their baggage. I think Wade is scared of a real relationship with Matt. Not the Wade = Brad, Matt = Robbie issue but that Wade might turn into his mother and truly stuff up the relationship with his soul-mate.

 

This still doesn't address the Riley issue. I'm surprised Wade still remembers he has a son. Boston was supposed to be about being free of Matt and living with Riley. He got half of it right.

[Headstall]

Hey Bucket,

This post is well thought out and well stated. I think you may have hit the nail right on the head. I have thought for awhile that seeing the new, vastly different Matt may have caused some panic in Wade. It seemed to him he had it pretty much figured out only it turns out he was wrong...about Matt not being partner material. This is why I would be able to get over his actions, if he came to his senses and admitted to himself what this is all about. People make mistakes and do imperfect things that can cause great pain to themselves and others. What's important is how they handle that damage. Wade has a lot of stellar qualities (he said this to Brad about Matt in a moment of clarity not long ago) so I am still able to have faith in him (I did see a glimpse of the old Wade in the last chapter). I have no idea what he will do, but if he stays with Alex, I think he will be avoiding some pretty big issues that would probably haunt him for a long time. Relationships take a lot of hard work and commitment and there are no guarantees but even so I think it is a mistake to take the easy way out. I think on most levels, that is what Alex would be. My opinion is that Wade owes it to himself ( and in some ways , to Matt) to take the chance. The proof that the risk is not that big is right in front of his eyes. I would hope that the logical part of Wade would reassert itself and get him where he needs to be. I am glad you mentioned Riley because in my eyes Wade AND Matt both have a son and that needs to be acknowleged. In the last chapter Matt mentioned going to see Riley and Maddie which warmed my heart and gave me further proof than even with the positive result over his head, Matt is continuing to come out of the fog. Cheers and welcome to the forum...Gary

[Mark Arbour]

There is a fine line point here that no one has looked at.  Yes, it probably is a good thing that both Wade and Matt will have to forgive each other before moving on, no matter whether that is to friendship or a more meaningful relationship. But there is a big difference between forgiving, forgetting, and trusting.  My gram used to take great pleasure in taking my dates aside and telling them to be very careful when considering actions that might hurt me. Her exact words, and I know this because each and every one of them came back with the same thing, "Kitt will probably forgive you a stupid hurtful action, she may even trust you again after, but she will never, ever forget it."

 

I think that 'forgetting' is a bad way to frame these kinds of relationship problems, because I think you're right, in that it's difficult to truly forget harmful things, but I think it can happen.  A better way to say it may be to talk about minimalizing them.  Having said that, I tried to remember some of my more hellatious fights in the past, and I'm having a hard time doing it.  I think I minimized them to the point where they became irrelevant, and largely vanished from my memory.   So I do think it's possible.

 

At this stage, I have to agree with you 100%. I posted my first review and Mark told me to wait until the end of Flux before I write off Wade - so I will wait.

 

However the insights in Chap 38 only made things worse for me - Wade is not a love struck puppy - he knows what he is doing, he knows it is hurting the two most important people in his life (Matt and Riley) and still he does it. People are not perfect and there are still a few chapters left for Wade to come to his senses.

 

I have thought about this a bit more and wonder if Wade is actually frightened of a grownup Matt. Since 9-11 and throughout Flux, Matt has really grown as a person. Wade dumped him because he was not "life-partner" material, not grown up enough, not "presentable", too difficult to deal with. Matt was and did act like a college student. He has changed - a lot. If Wade met Matt now, he would have the ideal partner - sexy, smart, loyal, selfless and dependable without their baggage. I think Wade is scared of a real relationship with Matt. Not the Wade = Brad, Matt = Robbie issue but that Wade might turn into his mother and truly stuff up the relationship with his soul-mate.

 

This still doesn't address the Riley issue. I'm surprised Wade still remembers he has a son. Boston was supposed to be about being free of Matt and living with Riley. He got half of it right.

 

Only one thing I want to correct here, and that is that Wade has never had an issue with Matt being presentable.  Matt can be a classy guy (he's got a prep school background), and he knows which fork to use.  Granted, he's not at an "Alex" level, but he's not boorish enough for it to be an issue.

 

Hey Bucket,

This post is well thought out and well stated. I think you may have hit the nail right on the head. I have thought for awhile that seeing the new, vastly different Matt may have caused some panic in Wade. It seemed to him he had it pretty much figured out only it turns out he was wrong...about Matt not being partner material. This is why I would be able to get over his actions, if he came to his senses and admitted to himself what this is all about. People make mistakes and do imperfect things that can cause great pain to themselves and others. What's important is how they handle that damage. Wade has a lot of stellar qualities (he said this to Brad about Matt in a moment of clarity not long ago) so I am still able to have faith in him (I did see a glimpse of the old Wade in the last chapter). I have no idea what he will do, but if he stays with Alex, I think he will be avoiding some pretty big issues that would probably haunt him for a long time. Relationships take a lot of hard work and commitment and there are no guarantees but even so I think it is a mistake to take the easy way out. I think on most levels, that is what Alex would be. My opinion is that Wade owes it to himself ( and in some ways , to Matt) to take the chance. The proof that the risk is not that big is right in front of his eyes. I would hope that the logical part of Wade would reassert itself and get him where he needs to be. I am glad you mentioned Riley because in my eyes Wade AND Matt both have a son and that needs to be acknowleged. In the last chapter Matt mentioned going to see Riley and Maddie which warmed my heart and gave me further proof than even with the positive result over his head, Matt is continuing to come out of the fog. Cheers and welcome to the forum...Gary

 

I wonder if Wade sees this vastly different Matt as clearly as you think he does?  I think that he's starting to, but I'm not sure he's that convinced.  We probably saw his evolution on his view of Matt beginning in Claremont on the Fourth of July.   He's probably getting a better picture after the deal with Alex, and how Matt jumped in to support them as a couple.  Those are all clues, but I don't think Wade has finished putting the puzzle together so he can see the whole picture.

[Kitt]

Mark has a point!  Sometimes it is hard to appreciate walking through the forest when you are beating your way through the undergrowth!

[Bucket1]

I wonder if Wade sees this vastly different Matt as clearly as you think he does?  I think that he's starting to, but I'm not sure he's that convinced.  We probably saw his evolution on his view of Matt beginning in Claremont on the Fourth of July.   He's probably getting a better picture after the deal with Alex, and how Matt jumped in to support them as a couple.  Those are all clues, but I don't think Wade has finished putting the puzzle together so he can see the whole picture.

 

This is a real problem for Wade - he is running from "old Matt" (and playing games with Matt's heart whether he realises it or not). Wade has been spending a lot of time trying to isolate himself from Matt, to start his new life and I take your point that he has not actually seen how Matt has developed and grown. Matt has put Wade's happiness before his own twice (with Brad and Alex) - I'm not sure I could have been as noble. Both of these incidents have caused Matt great heartache and yet he has continued to put Wade's happiness before his own. Wade however is still acting like an undergraduate and hurting the man that he says he loves (and putting his relationship with Riley at risk - when will he do something about the bloody house?).

 

The Europe trip should have given Wade the opportunity to see past the undergrowth but instead he raised Matt's hopes and then crushed them. He wasted the chance to get to know Matt, the adult Matt. Hopefully its not too late.

 

And I do have concerns about Alex. I know we haven't really had his POV yet but he just doesn't seem to be as invested in the relationship as Wade. Wade is head over heels in lust (well at least he was until they had sex) but Alex is just seems to be tagging along for the ride (and free accommodation in Boston). That might be a bit unfair but we shall see.

 

BTW when I said the Matt wasn't "presentable" I was really thinking in terms of Wade's possible political career - Matt would know which fork to use but might say things at a party that Wade would rather he didn't. I would like to see Matt launch a political career with Wade as his partner - then we could really see if Wade is turning into his mother 

[Headstall]

I think that 'forgetting' is a bad way to frame these kinds of relationship problems, because I think you're right, in that it's difficult to truly forget harmful things, but I think it can happen.  A better way to say it may be to talk about minimalizing them.  Having said that, I tried to remember some of my more hellatious fights in the past, and I'm having a hard time doing it.  I think I minimized them to the point where they became irrelevant, and largely vanished from my memory.   So I do think it's possible.

 

 

Only one thing I want to correct here, and that is that Wade has never had an issue with Matt being presentable.  Matt can be a classy guy (he's got a prep school background), and he knows which fork to use.  Granted, he's not at an "Alex" level, but he's not boorish enough for it to be an issue.

 

 

I wonder if Wade sees this vastly different Matt as clearly as you think he does?  I think that he's starting to, but I'm not sure he's that convinced.  We probably saw his evolution on his view of Matt beginning in Claremont on the Fourth of July.   He's probably getting a better picture after the deal with Alex, and how Matt jumped in to support them as a couple.  Those are all clues, but I don't think Wade has finished putting the puzzle together so he can see the whole picture.

I  agree with you...I think he has had glimpses as you said, andI speculate that that scared him. So far, no matter what he may know down deep, he so far is not allowing himself to fully recognize how amazing the changes are in Matt. It really shouldn't be so hard for him to believe because people generally do grow up after college. I am saying that all the clues are there but Wade needs to come to his senses and allow himself to look at the whole picture. As you said, I don't think he has done that yet which is why I said that i hope that the logical part of Wade will reassert itself to stop his agonizing and get him where he needs to be. If you are referring to the scene in Claremont on the fourth of July where Matt says that they would be the only two going up to the elevator to his apartment above Spartacus and Wade says that Matt has changed a lot since college, then I agree with you...I thought that was a watershed moment. Since then the clues to Matt's evolution have mounted up...putting Wade's happiness first with regards to Brad...letting him off the hook in London and then that horrible day in Paris, doing it again for Wade's sake...calling Alex and telling him he was behind them...trying to control JJ for Wade and Alex's sake...and maybe the biggest of all, after being diagnosed as positive, his only concern when he called Wade was that Wade was negative, his relief being palpable...and he followed that by owning his slutty college ways and took total responsibility and recognized what an ass he had been. As I said I don't know what he will do but the whole picture is there and the clues are obvious and real. The question is whether Wade will be able to take the leap and see the whole picture or if he really wants to. He may already have made the decision to stay with Alex and this is all moot.

[Headstall]

I  agree with you...I think he has had glimpses as you said, andI speculate that that scared him. So far, no matter what he may know down deep, he so far is not allowing himself to fully recognize how amazing the changes are in Matt. It really shouldn't be so hard for him to believe because people generally do grow up after college. I am saying that all the clues are there but Wade needs to come to his senses and allow himself to look at the whole picture. As you said, I don't think he has done that yet which is why I said that i hope that the logical part of Wade will reassert itself to stop his agonizing and get him where he needs to be. If you are referring to the scene in Claremont on the fourth of July where Matt says that they would be the only two going up to the elevator to his apartment above Spartacus and Wade says that Matt has changed a lot since college, then I agree with you...I thought that was a watershed moment. Since then the clues to Matt's evolution have mounted up...putting Wade's happiness first with regards to Brad...letting him off the hook in London and then that horrible day in Paris, doing it again for Wade's sake...calling Alex and telling him he was behind them...trying to control JJ for Wade and Alex's sake...and maybe the biggest of all, after being diagnosed as positive, his only concern when he called Wade was that Wade was negative, his relief being palpable...and he followed that by owning his slutty college ways and took total responsibility and recognized what an ass he had been. As I said I don't know what he will do but the whole picture is there and the clues are obvious and real. The question is whether Wade will be able to take the leap and see the whole picture or if he really wants to. He may already have made the decision to stay with Alex and this is all moot.

 

Just to add to my post...I want to say that I think Wade was almost there with regards to Matt's evolution when he had his conversation with Brad during the phone call about HIV. Brad warned him that the Matt he would be thinking about was already gone. Brad made his points about how Matt handled the conversation in Paris as well as what he did in putting Wade's happiness first in saying he wouldn't stand in Wade and Brad's way...and then Wade himself added that last year  Matt would never have made the phone call to Alex to give his support...which seemed to indicate he was getting there...but I guess he wasn't ready because he seemed to pull back...but that still tells me that the wheels are turning and that he is capable of arriving at different conclusions about Matt as a life partner...

[Mark Arbour]

To celebrate Bastille Day, Chapter 39 will be uploaded sometime tonight (probably), so check back. 

[methodwriter85]

    To be fair with Wade on the Riley stuff...it's a soap. Little kids are pretty much seen but not heard, and if Mark put in parental moment after parental moment in the story, it'd get boring. And we've only followed Wade's POV for one chapter in this story- we can't even really judge what kind of parent Wade is.

 

    It's like what Sharon said to me one time where I said that I didn't think JP and JJ had a close relationship- she said something to the effect of, "How do you know that? For all we know, JP and JJ have weekly lunches where they discuss everything under the sun. We're not privy to every moment in these character's lives."

 

    Mark did say that he doesn't see Wade becoming the "at home at 5 p.m. and playing with the kids on their lawn" type because Wade's a bit too ambitious for that. I can clearly see that with Will, but Mark's got a point about it probably not being the type of parent that Wade will turn into.

Edited July 14, 2014 by methodwriter85