poetry Poetry Prompt 13 – Ghazal

[Headstall]

I can't get that scene from 'Bent' out of my head. I wrote another Ghazal, inspired by that same scene...

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/story/headstall/headstallspoetryprompts/10

[Former Member]

I can't get that scene from 'Bent' out of my head. I wrote another Ghazal, inspired by that same scene...

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/story/headstall/headstallspoetryprompts/10

Thank you, Gary! Somehow I knew this was a form you'd have a natural affinity for - you know how to write songs, and a Ghazal is a song of a special type. I hope you incorporate it into your repertoire.

 

As for the poem itself: powerful and beautiful! Please see my review for it.

[Puppilull]

I thought about trying this form, but I can't come up with anything really deserving of the scene depicted.  Not sure why.  

 

Great job to those who did!  I applaud you!!!

That's exactly how I felt for two days, thinking about this challenge and the scene. It's so perfect in a way, I felt I would ruin the feeling of the scene with my fumbling attempts at poetry. But then! I had my flash of inspiration and found the one word the scene meant to me and it all sort of fell into place. So don't give up! I thought it was like finding the key to an almost rusted through lock. With that word ,I could slowly unlock that ghazal.

[Headstall]

Thank you, Gary! Somehow I knew this was a form you'd have a natural affinity for - you know how to write songs, and a Ghazal is a song of a special type. I hope you incorporate it into your repertoire.

 

As for the poem itself: powerful and beautiful! Please see my review for it.

Thanks, AC. There is a natural rhythm to the form, I find. I hear and feel the cadence of it, and maybe that is because of my songwriting. I like, with the Ghazal, that a line can be a single thought, or flow on to the next and the next if needed to express something more profound or complex. When I first read of this form, I thought 'no way', but surprisingly, I find a freedom in it, despite the rules. If I adapt it for songwriting, I would ignore the 'bad form' of not repeating the final word in the first couplet, but other than that, I can see it working quite well.

[Aditus]

My personal project wrapped into a strict Ghazal.

[Former Member]

Thanks, AC. There is a natural rhythm to the form, I find. I hear and feel the cadence of it, and maybe that is because of my songwriting. I like, with the Ghazal, that a line can be a single thought, or flow on to the next and the next if needed to express something more profound or complex. When I first read of this form, I thought 'no way', but surprisingly, I find a freedom in it, despite the rules. If I adapt it for songwriting, I would ignore the 'bad form' of not repeating the final word in the first couplet, but other than that, I can see it working quite well.

Speaking of bad form, when I wrote a Ghazal for Bound & Bound, I must have misinterpreted the concept of 'couplet,' and thought that it meant a continuous a-a rhyme scheme. I didn't post it in the prompt, but here is Junayd's love song to his Ahmed.

 

See how the night sighs for the love we share? –

The moonlight strokes the skin we touch so bare,

 

And re-shines our affection everywhere.

'My love,' I whisper on your lips most fair,

 

'How will we live when dissolved in the air?'

'We will live,' you answer with smiling flare,

 

'To find and caress the great love that dare

live as one man, as though without a care.'

 

Thus sings the poet Junayd, while I stare,

  And moonlight strokes the skin I touch so bare.

[Headstall]

Speaking of bad form, when I wrote a Ghazal for Bound & Bound, I must have misinterpreted the concept of 'couplet,' and thought that it meant a continuous a-a rhyme scheme. I didn't post it in the prompt, but here is Junayd's love song to his Ahmed.

 

See how the night sighs for the love we share? –

The moonlight strokes the skin we touch so bare,

 

And re-shines our affection everywhere.

'My love,' I whisper on your lips most fair,

 

'How will we live when dissolved in the air?'

'We will live,' you answer with smiling flare,

 

'To find and caress the great love that dare

live as one man, as though without a care.'

 

Thus sings the poet Junayd, while I stare,

  And moonlight strokes the skin I touch so bare.

This gives weight to the old adage... rules are made to be broken... a fitting poem/song for Junayd and Ahmed... lovely.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Headstall

[Former Member]

My personal project wrapped into a strict Ghazal.

Your "Schwartz" Ghazal is really touching. I too love the image of a strand of the beloved's hair on the pillow; it's almost a love gift the donor did not know he was giving. Those gifts are always the best kind...  

 

[Aditus]

A slightly mistreated Ghazal.

[Former Member]

A slightly mistreated Ghazal.

It's a beautiful Pride poem...tender and bold too. I like it