poetry Poetry Prompt 14 – Ballade

[Aditus]

It's not perfect, but it's more or less blip free now.   I hope.

[totallyy]

I don't love it but https://www.gayauthors.org/story/totallyy/rhymes/19

 

I don't stand down from challenges. I also wrote this after a couple drinks so..... 

 

Still this style is way too rigid for my tastes. 

[Headstall]

Wow. I was eager to try this. Finally found some time. I found it to be a rigid but interesting form. I hope my meaning comes through. The cadence of it is stuck in my head... damn.

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/headstall/headstallspoetryprompts/17

[AC Benus]

It's not perfect, but it's more or less blip free now.   I hope.

Nice! The thing with a Ballade is, why come 99.9% of the way and not just grit the teeth and bring it on home. Thanks for trying this form, Adi - I think it's a great poem!

[AC Benus]

I don't love it but https://www.gayauthors.org/story/totallyy/rhymes/19

 

I don't stand down from challenges. I also wrote this after a couple drinks so..... 

 

Still this style is way too rigid for my tastes. 

Thanks for taking the challenge! I've left you a review, and I have to say, despite you thinking this form is 'too rigid,' you produced what I think is a very fluid and flexible poem. Besides, all forms are 'rigid,' that's what lets us be totally creative without fear. What would language be like without grammar - nothing anyone could understand. 

 

Thanks again!  

Edited October 10, 2015 by AC Benus

[AC Benus]

Wow. I was eager to try this. Finally found some time. I found it to be a rigid but interesting form. I hope my meaning comes through. The cadence of it is stuck in my head... damn.

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/headstall/headstallspoetryprompts/17

That's a phenomenal poem, Gary. Thank you for taking the Ballade challenge!

[J.HunterDunn]

Although a great admirer of Michelangelo, I'm no big fan of the Sistine Chapel. So I decided to have a bit of fun with the ballade prompt and keep it light and humerous. I used the spoiler option in order to avoid using too much space.

 

 

Renaissance Man

 

Hey, I am Michel the Angel and they say I am great

at sculpting and painting. But wanting butter on my bread

I jumped when Julius pointed at his ceiling and said: “Mate,

you see all that white ? I want it cover’d, so you go ahead

I will reward you, when colorful paintings you can add.

Make it biblical, for I am pope after all. A plan

will be needed, but I give you free rein.” To that I said:

“You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.”

 

How about I start to divide the main section in eight

or better still nine. Three trinities will do. I’ll embed

the creation of earth and man, Adam and Eve who ate

that apple, beginning of sin. Thirdly Noah, who fled

the rising tides. To complete I surround all by a spread

of naked young men. What’s left are four corners in which can

be painted apostles, or dramatic events instead:

You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.

 

This done, let me surround it by thirteen persons of fate:

prophets and sibyls, with predictions of hope and of dread.

In the remaining triangles  - there are eight - I’ll create

people known to me. 'Round the windows it can’t be misread,

for I will spell out, names of a bunch of people, long dead.

From Abr’ham to Joseph, with the whole lineage in a span

linking Jesus to popes on the wall. See whom I bestead ?

You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.

 

What nobody knew till today, is the pope was misled,

because on my scaffold, unseen by men, was none less than

Tomasso, who in between brush-strokes would give me great head.

You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.

 

Peter

Edited October 11, 2015 by J.HunterDunn

[Puppilull]

Peter, that's brilliant! Now I want to start over with mine! I'm never goin to get this done!

 

For some reason I had a song in my head when I read your poem. I kept hearing Mel Brooks and his "Hitler rap". The music doesn't match, but I got the same irreverent feeling from your ballade. And I love Mel Brooks, just so you know...

 

And if someone missed this little crazy comedy gem, here it is:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbKTdVpnGj8

[J.HunterDunn]

Thanks Puppilull. I tried starting a few reverent ballades, but they sounded insincere and ended their short life in the waste paper basket.

 

That you got the "Mel Brooks feeling" makes me happy, for that's the way it was intended

[Puppilull]

Thanks Puppilull. I tried starting a few reverent ballades, but they sounded insincere and ended their short life in the waste paper basket.

 

That you got the "Mel Brooks feeling" makes me happy, for that's the way it was intended

 

Insincerity... Yes, have been wrestling that myself...

[Aditus]

Thanks Puppilull. I tried starting a few reverent ballades, but they sounded insincere and ended their short life in the waste paper basket.

 

That you got the "Mel Brooks feeling" makes me happy, for that's the way it was intended

I have to admit I was a little shocked when I first saw the theme. Then I thought that Renee always says the anthology theme can be just a nudge, just the incentive, and I scanned this ceiling fresco for something I could live with and not rant. lol

 

The path you took, Peter, is perfect. You should have see me grinning at the computer screen. Those pictures in my head haha There has to be a melody for this...maybe a rap? lol I know, not your thing, not mine either under normal circumstances, but I think this calls for a melody, sort of, just as Puppilull said. Lol, just read her comment. A rap it is.

Edited October 12, 2015 by aditus

[Dolores Esteban]

@J.HunterDunn

 

I was laughing out loud. You found a unique solution to the Ballade problem and I think it's just perfect. Yes, it's rap.

[AC Benus]

Although a great admirer of Michelangelo, I'm no big fan of the Sistine Chapel. So I decided to have a bit of fun with the ballade prompt and keep it light and humerous. I used the spoiler option in order to avoid using too much space.

 

 

Renaissance Man

 

Hey, I am Michel the Angel and they say I am great

at sculpting and painting. But wanting butter on my bread

I jumped when Julius pointed at his ceiling and said: “Mate,

you see all that white ? I want it cover’d, so you go ahead

I will reward you, when colorful paintings you can add.

Make it biblical, for I am pope after all. A plan

will be needed, but I give you free rein.” To that I said:

“You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.”

 

How about I start to divide the main section in eight

or better still nine. Three trinities will do. I’ll embed

the creation of earth and man, Adam and Eve who ate

that apple, beginning of sin. Thirdly Noah, who fled

the rising tides. To complete I surround all by a spread

of naked young men. What’s left are four corners in which can

be painted apostles, or dramatic events instead:

You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.

 

This done, let me surround it by thirteen persons of fate:

prophets and sibyls, with predictions of hope and of dread.

In the remaining triangles  - there are eight - I’ll create

people known to me. 'Round the windows it can’t be misread,

for I will spell out, names of a bunch of people, long dead.

From Abr’ham to Joseph, with the whole lineage in a span

linking Jesus to popes on the wall. See whom I bestead ?

You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.

 

What nobody knew till today, is the pope was misled,

because on my scaffold, unseen by men, was none less than

Tomasso, who in between brush-strokes would give me great head.

You can leave it to me, for I am a Renaissance man.

 

Peter

It's great! You gave yourself a roomy syllable length per each line and that let you really tell a story. The refrain is effective, and like the refrain of a song, both ties up the preceding and stands on its own. That's nicely done, I think.

 

As for Tamasso...well...that's not what MA's number one, star 'student' - one Raffaello by name - said

 

Thanks for taking the Ballade challenge. I'm really glad you did!

Edited October 12, 2015 by AC Benus

[Puppilull]

I finally finished... I think I did anyway. Will be interesting to see how people read this. I honestly have no idea!

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/puppilull/puppilullspoetryprompts/12

[Puppilull]

I forgot a line! I forgot a freaking line! Ha! Well, it's in there now.

 

Thanks, AC, for alerting me!

[AC Benus]

I finally finished... I think I did anyway. Will be interesting to see how people read this. I honestly have no idea!

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/puppilull/puppilullspoetryprompts/12

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge. I really thought no one would be interested in the Ballade...I guess I did something right (for a change, lol)

[Puppilull]

I'm so moved you guys took the time to wrestle my ballade. I know it's not so fluid and seemingly effortless as I would have liked. It's more constructed. Still, I felt the challenge was very educational and interesting. To push myself like this isn't something I take the time to do very often these days. It feels like yoga for my brain, all that stretching...

[AC Benus]

I'm so moved you guys took the time to wrestle my ballade. I know it's not so fluid and seemingly effortless as I would have liked. It's more constructed. Still, I felt the challenge was very educational and interesting. To push myself like this isn't something I take the time to do very often these days. It feels like yoga for my brain, all that stretching...

"...yoga for the brain..." Love that!

[Puppilull]

And now I've written a sonnet in under an hour. A first draft, but still...

[Aditus]

And now I've written a sonnet in under an hour. A first draft, but still...

When I first considered writing a sonnet I thought Shakespeare and then never. After I wrestled with a ballade with 'e',  it was almost easy and I wrote several in English and German by now. Not that I would compare my sonnets with old man Bill's, hahaha. I still like the Ghazals, very fascinating. Thank you, AC for bringing them to my attention again. Love the poetry prompts. Yoga for the brain...well said, Puppi.

[AC Benus]

When I first considered writing a sonnet I thought Shakespeare and then never. After I wrestled with a ballade with 'e',  it was almost easy and I wrote several in English and German by now. Not that I would compare my sonnets with old man Bill's, hahaha. I still like the Ghazals, very fascinating. Thank you, AC for bringing them to my attention again. Love the poetry prompts. Yoga for the brain...well said, Puppi.

Thank you, Adi. The one I'm contemplating for November just may shock you....Intrigued...? Stay tuned *evil laugh*

[Aditus]

Thank you, Adi. The one I'm contemplating for November just may shock you....Intrigued...? Stay tuned *evil laugh*

After the ballade...

[AC Benus]

After the ballade...

It will be a 'different' kind of challenge -

[Puppilull]

Thank you, Adi. The one I'm contemplating for November just may shock you....Intrigued...? Stay tuned *evil laugh*

Maybe it's expressing ourselves with only very few words? Or have a go at surrealism? No, I know! We're supposed to swap poems half way and finish them in each others languages! Dibs on Gary! Tough for him perhaps...

[Aditus]

Oh yes! Let's swap poems!