Jack Scribe Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 In light of CJ's religious references in his current series story, here goes. Dear Dr. Laura, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God`s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them. 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1: 9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can`t I own Canadians? 5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don`t agree. Can you settle this? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24: 10-16. Couldn`t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God`s word is eternal and unchanging Your devoted disciple and adoring fan. Jim ______________ Jack Link to comment
The Reaper Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Jack, you just made my WEEK!! Ian Link to comment
Site Administrator Graeme Posted January 11, 2007 Site Administrator Share Posted January 11, 2007 I've seen it before, but it's still good. I seem to recall someone telling me that they used a similar set of question in an episode of West Wing where the President was responding to a question during a press conference. Can anyone confirm that? Link to comment
dkstories Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Yes, President Bartlett made a similar type response in an early episode of West Wing. Every time I see that episode I want to stand up and cheer. Actually, thinking about it more...that list sounds like it was ripped right out of the episode. Link to comment
The Reaper Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 (edited) I've seen it before, but it's still good. I seem to recall someone telling me that they used a similar set of question in an episode of West Wing where the President was responding to a question during a press conference. Can anyone confirm that? My mom could. LOL But seriously, Jack, you've made my week better. Ian Edited January 11, 2007 by The Reaper Link to comment
Kurt Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 That was very funny, thanks! Link to comment
C James Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 In light of CJ's religious references in his current series story, here goes. There will be more religious issues, and many of the quotes from that wonderfull list play a role, too. (thought that's a few chapters in the future) (The story is called "For the Love", and is linked in my sig if anyone is curious.). I've seen it before, but it's still good. I seem to recall someone telling me that they used a similar set of question in an episode of West Wing where the President was responding to a question during a press conference. Can anyone confirm that? Absolutely, one of my all-time favorite scenes because it was factually accurate AND devastating. I think, though, it wasn't at a press conference but rather Bartlett ripping into a Fundi lobbyist of some sort. Yes, President Bartlett made a similar type response in an early episode of West Wing. Every time I see that episode I want to stand up and cheer. Actually, thinking about it more...that list sounds like it was ripped right out of the episode. I think it is, he hit on many of the same Leviticus quotes. I'm not usually a fan of TV shows, but that scene in West Wing has got to be my favorite ever! Link to comment
Site Moderator TalonRider Posted January 11, 2007 Site Moderator Share Posted January 11, 2007 That was good. Thanks. Jan Link to comment
sumbloke Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 (edited) These and these are the words of the Living G-d. Noah wanted to post and I hope he will to explain that we are very religious guys but not gigots. Edited January 11, 2007 by sumbloke Link to comment
The Reaper Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 This is just one problem people get from taking the bible literally. Ian Link to comment
rknapp Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 I think this'll keep my mind off of the coming semester... lmao! Link to comment
Bondwriter Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 I've been plagued for months about the point raised in number 10, though with my cousin, not my uncle. It keeps me awake at night, my life has turned into a living hell. Anybody got an answer? Link to comment
DarkCrow99 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Wow, that's just insane . I wouldn't dare take anything that seriously much less the Bible!! *runs away* Link to comment
Tiger Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 We should dip Dr. Laura in honey and feed her to the lesbians. Link to comment
Nephylim Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Eeeew, no thank you. Is this part of your sinister sceme to rid the world of lesbians by poisoning us ? Link to comment
Tiger Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Of course not, Nephy! I just figure Dr. Laura needs to stop being a self-hating lesbian. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now