viv

... just me and my vanilla bean frappacino. So just for fun last night, I took this color quiz here... http://www.colorquiz.com/ Here were my results... Your Existing Situation Hopes to obtain an improved position and greater prestige, so that she can procure for herself more of the things she has had to do without. Your Stress Sources Wants freedom to follow her own convictions and principles, to achieve respect as an individual in her own right. Desires to avail herself of every possible opportunity without having to submit to limitations or restrictions. Your Restrained Characteristics Has high emotional demands and is willing to involve herself in a close relationship, but not with any great depth of feeling. Your Desired Objective Takes easily and quickly to anything which provides stimulation. Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics cleverly so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermined others' confidence in herself. Your Actual Problem Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others. Your Actual Problem #2 Greatly impressed by the unique, by originality, and by individuals of outstanding characteristics. Tries to emulate the characteristics she admires and to display originality in her own personality. Then Rich wanted to take it... here are his results.... Your Existing Situation Sensitive and understanding but under some strain; needs to unwind in the company of someone close to him. Your Stress Sources Resists any form of pressure from others and insists on his independence as an individual. Wants to make up his own mind without interference, to draw his own conclusions and arrive at his own decisions. Detests uniformity and mediocrity. As he wants to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions, he find it difficult to admit to being wrong, while at times he is reluctant to accept or understand another's point of view. Your Restrained Characteristics Feels he is receiving less than his share, but that he will have to conform and make the best of his situation. Unhappy at the resistance he feels whenever he tries to assert himself. Indignant and resentful because of these setbacks, but gives way apathetically and makes whatever adjustments are necessary so that he can have peace and quiet. Becomes distressed when his needs or desires are misunderstood and feels that he has no one to turn to or rely on. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Conditions are such that he will not let himself become intimately involved without making mental reservations. Your Desired Objective Hopes that ties of affection and good-fellowship will bring release and contentment. His own need for approval makes him ready to be of help to others and in exchange he wants warmth and understanding. Open to new ideas and possibilities which he hopes will prove fruitful and interesting. Your Actual Problem Feels insufficiently valued in his existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which he will have greater opportunity of demonstrating his worth. Your Actual Problem #2 Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations. Besides that, my son brought me a balloon yesterday and asked me to blow it up for him, so I did, but then he wanted me to draw a face on it, and hair... and I CANNOT draw, but I tried for him, and it actually doesn't look too bad. So then he wants to name it and wants me to write the name on the balloon. so he wants to name it what sounds like Mr. Nibbah.... so I ask him how to spell that and he says M-R-DOT-N-I-B-B-A so I write it and that's his baby now and he's a daddy. Now he wants a basket to put his baby in with a blanket, so I get him one from the closet and then his sister sees it and wants one too, so she makes one and names it Summer. So now we have two baby balloons, and Rich gets home from work and I say... Oh look, Grandpa is home and he but it was kinda cute. So then today, my son has evolved the baby balloons name and he is now Mr. Nibbusr. I finally got some X-mas shopping done, so that's good, and the cards are half done, also good, and the anthology is half done... not so good since it's due in 2 DAYS!!!! Better get back to writing.... Hope everyone is staying warm and smiling... Hugs, Viv

Well, I mean he DOES deserve his very own blog entry right? Okay so I know I already said this part... but Happy Birthday! Since I have 5 minutes left to celebrate it here... I guess the bonus is that we get to celebrate your birthday for 32 hours instead of 24... giggle! Anyway, you need the extra hours each year if you're gonna catch up to me right? You wouldn't let me turn 30 all by myself... would you? So, I could go on forever... and ever... and ever... and... well you get the point... about how much you mean to me, and the millions of ways I think about you every day. About the smiles you've made grace my face, and the laughter, and even a few tears, about the stories, and the freaky way things happen to us and connect us, about all the major things we've already been through in the short little time we've known each other, or how I can't even imagine a time now without you in my life. I could talk about the ways that being halfway around the world from someone so important to me is almost painful, or how I just know when something's going on, or how you're always there when I need you to be, even if it means we're doing it covert style on some crazy expensive cell phone call and locking ourselves outside of buildings we were really supposed to be working in. Like I said, I could really go on and on, but mostly I just wanted to take a minute to say... I love you. Everything about you, every quirk and silly little thing, the things I still learn about you every day, and how you just know when I need a smile without me having to ask. The way that you understand me like almost no one can, and the way you do that without me having to explain it, and the way you keep every one of my secrets and never judge me, the way you support me, no matter what it is I'm doing, the way you tease me, and the way I have to let you. Everything. I'm glad you had a great day, and I hope it will be a fabulous year for one of the most important people in my life... My Sweetie. My Davey. My Best Friend. My Twin Flame. Whatever I call you, you know it's only an attempt at finding something actually suitable and correct to define what we are to each other, but at least I know you're my... Love you, Viv

Kay so, just for ambience or whatever... it's 12:07 am, and I'm sitting here waiting for Rich to get finished building this computer so we can go to bed. It is SO DAMN COLD in here it's beyond ridiculous... I looked... 56 degrees... holy shit right?! So yeah, the deal with that is, a while back, MANY months back, the gas comany was out here to light a pilot light for us, and the guy told Rich that if we keep the furnace pilot light out, it'll save us money and then they'll come back and light t for us in the winter. Riiiight, well... that's all fine and dandy, but winter just decided to suddenly show up here in sunny Southern California. I mean just a week ago it was 90 degrees out, and today it was 60. So yeah I called and schedulled an appointment with the aforementioned pilot lighter man... who should be here sometime on Friday, you know, between 8 am and 7 pm... :wacko: My anthology entry is moving right along, so that's cool... I had some worries, some concerns, still sorta do, but it's turning out well, and totally sweet so far, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see. FBTE is still a little over half done, and as soon as I finish this anthology entry which does have a deadline, I'll finish that. Thanks for being patient guys! And then there's the Christmas cards to make and then sign and then mail to everyone... but I actually like doing that, so it'll be fun. So Rich brought home this DVD set... Season 1 of this show called Firefly. It's sort of a sci-fi meets country western meets Star Wars kinda thing and actually REALLY good, plus.. the guy who plays the captain, Nathan Fillion, looks crazy like Jason Bateman, which I just can't get over. Anyway, supposedly there is some movie that comes at the end called Serenity, so we'll watch that Friday night, can't wait! I'm gonna be loooonely on Saturday night... my angel and my luvuh are both gonna be out of town, oddly enough in the exact same place... coincidence? I think so but hey, it would be cool if they ran into each other right? And by the time I get home from work my sweetie will be fast asleep. But then I'll wait up for him like I always do, and then when I go to bed, he'll go take a nap... we have a system don't knock it alright. Did I mention I was cold yet? Cause I am... and it is CRAZY windy outside too! I wanted to go get my car washed today, but what would be the point really with all the sand blowing around Beeeeeeeed, I want bed, and coziness, and warmth, and snuggling, and... SLEEP! That would be nice! So yeah, this is me falling asleep so I'm gonna go try and coax Rich into bed with me since he has to be up for work tomorrow anyway... Stay warm and safe, Viv

... and closed the window. At least I was only one paragraph into it right? Okay so... to start again now... I'm waiting for Davey to get back, he went for food and I hope he brings me some cause I'm hungry and the kitchen is waaaaaaaaaay out there. So I'm in bed, cozy and warm, blogging, talking to Kev... who asked me to call and then got pissed off when the phone rang Lemme see now... to sum up... hehehe Took the kiddies to Disneyland, kicked Rich's ass at Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters laser tag, that's right 78,000 points! Go Viv! I worked like crazy last week for Thanksgiving and this week I have 3 days off so that's nice. Davey got his birthday present... I saw it in his cute lil hands I braved the mall on black Friday to pick up the Christmas presents for Davey and Chris and survived... but barely, managed to get out of there with the gifts I had already paid for, and another $68 bucks... not bad. Tony showed up for Thanksgiving looking like a sasquatch, and finally shaved on Friday... I think he just does it to bug the s**t outta me. Hmmmmm So I owe a HUGEMONGOUS apology to Steve for being so tardy on chapter 8 of Living In Surreality... which if you guys haven't started reading yet... you should, like... NOW! It's sooooooo good! http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=189 READ IT! So I had previously said that I might not have time to write an anthology entry, mostly because I have been trying to get FBTE 23 done first. It's more than half done, but I sat down and figured out what I'm gonna write, talked out my idea with my angel since I sort of have NO blizzard experience living in sunny So. Cal and I'm gonna write it. Hopefully I can get it done in 13 days, right? Anyway, just be patient with me, and I'll get FBTE finished, I promise. Also Rich is working on getting my site updated and thanks to Foxy for getting my stuff in the archive updated too. Here's the part where Viv thanks her team of men that help her... thanks guys! Kay, my doggie is howling cause she wants out and it's raining here today so ewwwwwww wet dog plus I need food and Davey is STILL not back... Jason, get better please... NOW! Mikie, congratulations! HUGE hugs for you, so excited for you! Hugs, Viv PS. In case you were wonderring, I'm Natey's Vivian

Okay so, as a bonafide purse carrier... I have a tiny one containing my wallet and a tiny makeup bag that holds a small tube of lotion, my contact lens case with and extra pair in it, eye drops, yes tampons... fact of life, and a bottle of Motrin. I have the kids immunization records and bandaids and maybe toothpicks, and I have a pack of gum always, and 3 types of lip gloss.. I know, I am a chick... deal. And then I always have my sunglasses and a brush in the car. Now Rich... bonafide non-purse carrier has a whole layout for his pockets... He carries his wallet in his back pocket, one of those long ones thatholds your checkbook too, and then he has his keys and his spare change, and always this coin he got at his Grandpa's funeral, a leatherman tool, and his cell phone, and his watch on his wrist. Here is the part where I take credit for buying him a real wallet, not some velcro one... and a real watch, not one of those rubber ones... My mom was one of those women that had every-f**king-thing you could imagine in her purse and probably never needed... and as a result I carry the tiniest purse possible. Viv PS. I also only have one purse... none of this changing purses and yes my wallet matches my purse... this is Southern California right?

Well, I know you Steve and I'm so glad I do! Hugs, Viv PS... Chapter 10 will kick ass, just like all the rest have so stop worrying

Kay so that's a lame title... whatever. I couldn't think of anything good... I think it's my lack of Davey time So i've been writing some. FBTE 23 is about halfway done and I have the plans for at least the next chapter also, so that's good right? I signed up for the anthology... which is due on December 15th :wacko: and I haven't started that yet... I may have to... not write something... but we'll see. There's still time right? I toured 27 4th graders around my store today and I will be doing that the next 3 days too... wish me luck! I bought a romance novel and read it... haven't done that in a while... it was entertaining and thankfully there were no heaving bosoms or burning loins... I always feel like telling them if they are burning, then they should really get that looked at It was sorta weird though because the main character's name was Shane... and Shane is a girl in the book, but I've always heard Shane used as a boy's name. Aside from that, it was a good story. The more I think about it, I would really love to do something like that... for real. I dunno though, that requires me to actually be good at this whole writing thing and people actually wanting to read it, and actually pay for my books. Yikes! So umm... can you all keep a secret? Are you sure? Okaaaaay, but I'm counting on you! *whispers* I mailed Davey his birthday present this afternoon! I hope he likes it... I do though, and that's what matters right? So Rich picked his bus up from the mechanics... and it has to go back cause it's leaking oil from somewhere... ugh! But my car is freakin awesome! and sooooooooooo pretty! I should be updating my site soon, Rich is almost done making all my graphics So I got this GREAT email yesterday from a reader... it was short and to the point, but amazing, and it made me... so glad I write and amazed that my words can have that effect on someone and their life. Alright... it's time to help with 6th grade algebra :wacko: Any volunteers??????? Pleeeeeeeeeaaase? Fine! *pouts* Hugs for my angel and his bff and his bf! Welcome home Jase! Ronnie is the man when it comes to pumpkin bread! Hugs! Viv PS. Sweetie... is it time for retirement yet?

Her face is a map of the world Is a map of the world You can see she's a beautiful girl She's a beautiful girl And everything around her is a silver pool of light The people who surround her feel the benefit of it It makes you calm She holds you captivated in her palm Suddenly I see, suddenly I see This is what I wanna be Suddenly I see, suddenly I see Why the hell it means so much to me I feel like walking the world Like walking the world You can hear she's a beautiful girl She's a beautiful girl She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember What you heard She likes to leave you hanging on a word Suddenly I see, suddenly I see This is what I wanna be Suddenly I see, suddenly I see Why the hell it means so much to me And she's taller than most And she's looking at me I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower A big strong tower Suddenly i see She got the power to be The power to give The power to see Yea Yea Suddenly I see Suddenly I see This is what I wanna be Suddenly I see Why the hell it means so much to me Thanks KT! and Davey of course for introducing me to her! Hugs, Viv PS. The anthologies were awesome! Freakin' fanastic! Also you guys should read the other stuff that came out around then, sort of hidden in the limelight it seems but too good to miss... http://members.gayauthors.org/dezlboi/letters.php#letter2 and http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...0&chapter=5

Happy Birthday pal! Hope it's a great one and a fantastic year too! Hugs, Viv

When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band. He said, "Son, when you grow up, will you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned?" He said, "Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made? Because one day I'll leave you, a phantom, to lead you in the summer, to join the black parade." Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me, and other times I feel like I should go. When through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets, and when you're gone we want you all to know. We'll carry on, we'll carry on, and though you're dead and gone, believe me your memory will carry on. We'll carry on and in my heart I can't contain it, the anthem won't explain it. A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams, your misery and hate will kill us all, so paint it black and take it back, let's shout it loud and clear. Defiant to the end, we hear the call to carry on, we'll carry on, and though you're dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on, we'll carry on, and though you're broken and defeated, your weary widow marches on and on we carry through the fears. Disappointed faces of your peers, take a look at me, cause I could not care at all. Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world, will never take my heart. You can try, you'll never break me, want it all, we wanna play this part, won't explain, or say I'm sorry. I'm not ashamed, I'm gonna show my scar, give a cheer, for all the broken. Listen here, because it's only... I'm just a man, I'm not a hero. I'm just a boy, who's meant to sing this song. I'm just a man, I'm not a hero I don't care, we'll carry on, we'll carry on, and though you're dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on, you'll carry on, and though you're broken and defeated, your weary widow marches on. Kay so, I'm weird too! But GREAT song! The whole album is awesome! It's like one big story Viv

I guess I'll blog. I was tryinig to... coerce... Steve into doing it for me, but I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen. I was trying to make a doctor's appointment cause... well... Rich is making me. I guess I should go, since it's my day off and I have nothing else at all I need to do, like the enormous pile of laundry or the dishes or go grocery shopping or... you get the idea right? So apparently we open at 8 means 8:20... whatever, breathing is overrated anyway. So yeah, STILL sick. I thought I was getting better, I felt I was anyway, maybe cause I never felt that bad to begin with, but now... I coughed all day and night and finally gave in at 11pm and took some scary Robitussin stuff that actually worked! So I slept instead of coughed, always a good thing right? See it started as some.. annoying sort of sinus thing, no cough, no fever, just a headache and a little congestion, but I totally lost my voice and I was doing that raspy, croaky, sexy thing... sexy right? It amused Davey anyway. So at work it was a few days of this: Me: Hi, how are you today? Customer: What? Me: I said, how are you? Customer: Oh.. I'm fine, how are you? Me: I'm okay... Customer: No, you're not. Me: Did you find everything okay today? Customer: What? Me: Nevermind Do you have your card? Customer: What? Me: CARD!! Customer: Oh yeah... Me: Your total today is... Customer: What? Me: (Points at total on screen and they pay) Me: You saved... today. Customer: What? Me: Go away... :wacko: In other news... I got my new car finally and it is SOOOOooooooo pretty! 2007 dark blue VW Jetta! I love it! So I hung my beads on the mirror from my old car and bought seat covers, moved my cell charger, bought a new hairbrush for the glove box. insured it, and now I'm trying to convince Rich that he shouldn't care what other people might think if they see him driving a car with some girly stickers on the window, I mean the guy has flowers on his own car for goodness sake! So it's red ribbon week again, you know, say no to drugs and all that. So my kids school has a theme each day to promote awareness and yesterday's theme was 'Tie one on', come to school wearing a tie of some kind. Well Rich doesn't wear a tie at work, so he only has a few I have made him buy or has managed to accumulate over the years. He has a Garfield tie he wore to our wedding reception, he has a dogs playing poker tie he thought was amusing, he has a clip-on maroon one from when he did security at The Pond for the Mighty Ducks, and a very nice blue satin Regis tie I of course bought. So he sends my son in the clip-on, figuring it won't matter if it gets ruined, and my daughter in the dogs playing poker tie. I get there yesterday to pick them up and I see her walk up wearing the tie with this smirk on her face, so when she gets in the car I do the usual 'Hi, how was your day?' thing and I ask about the tie. She tells me she just put it back on, so I ask why she didn't wear it all day and she says, " Mom! It's drug free week and the dogs are smoking cigars and drinking! I can't wear this!" So of course, the girl has a point, not to mention the zero toleance drug policy at the school, so I I pull out my cell phone and call Rich at work and when the girl answers I ask to speak to him, and when she puts me on hold, I hand my daughter the phone so when he answers, she let him have it... giggle! So then I talk to him and tease him and promptly let him get back to work. Oh yay! Doctor's appointment at 10:30 am! Breathing here we come! So let's see... I have to say thanks to Ronnie for my fabulous gift he sent! Soooooooooooo good! You're so sweet and this was so nice of you! So, thanks hun! Angel! Hurry up and get your cute lil ass home! I need some heavenly time So Davey told me to watch this movie, Beautiful Thing. I did and it was so, SO sweet! A lot like he is It was beautiful, so a fitting name for sure. WAY excited for the anthology to come out in... 3 more days! YAY! I started FBTE 23 now that my anthology is done and thanks to 'ex' for all the sweet things you have said about my stories! It means alot that you guys are so touched by my words. Anyway, guess I should go shower and go to the doctor since Davey doesn't want to share my germs while I'm sick. That's cool though, wouldn't want my sweetie to feel like this. Hugs, *cough* *hack* *choke* Vivian PS. Kevin, get better dammit! and I checked... you cannot be pregnant! And beautiful... if you can fix that clock maybe you can... fix my capability to breathe.. since you got me sick anyway

That might be because it's 3 pm now and so far today I have had a grande caramel apple cider from starbucks, a piece of bacon, a raspberry tootsie pop, an icee, and two cheese puffs I stole from my son I think... I'm more tired than hungry though since I was up for work at 3 am the past two days. Who does that? Oh yeah... me So I don't have long... since I have to leave in 40 minutes to go get Rich and then... MY NEW CAR!!!! for the third time this week :wacko: It's alright though, I'll consider those... test runs, but.. so help me I AM coming home with my car tonight! That dude does not wanna mess with me now. I have had no food and 4 hours of sleep in the last 36 so he better just.. behave! Or I won't be held responsible! I am feeling mostly better now, definitely sounding better. It was fun though... I got to entertain Davey with my... sexy, raspy, sick, hacking, voice? Tony is coming home tonight for Halloween Haunt, followed by a paintball tournament tomorrow and then a concert tomorrow night, only to go right back for his football game on Sunday... so I think I won't even get to see him since I'll be working. I started Chapter 23 of FBTE for all those pretendig to be interested and by started I mean I put the disclaimer on and wrote 3 paragraphs so... it's gonna be a bit still, but it's on the way. New song I'm in love with... Streetcorner Symphiny by Rob Thomas. It's morning I wake up The taste of summer sweetness on my breath It's a clear day In this city Let's go dance under the street lights All the people in this world Let's come together More than ever I can feel it Can you feel it Come on over Down to the corner My sisters and my brothers of every different color Don't you feel that sunshine telling you to hold tight Things will be alright Try to find a better life Come on over Down to the corner My sisters and my brothers there for one another Come on over Man I know you wanna let yourself go Some people It's a pity They go all their lives and never know How to love or to let love go But it's alright now We'll make it through this somehow And we'll paint the perfect picture All the colors of this world will run together more than ever I can feel it Can you feel it We may never find our reason to shine But here and now this is our time And I may never find the meaning of life But for this moment I am fine So Come on over Down to the corner My sisters and my brothers of every different color Don't you feel that sunshine telling you to hold tight Things will be alright Try to find a better life Come on over Down to the corner we can leave it all behind Never been a better time Come on over Man I know you wanna let yourself go on and on and on Wish that car dealer luck! Hugs! Vivian

Alright... she peed in the log? Which one? I think I might have too! :wacko: Maybe we all do and that's how come it's so damn wet on that ride! You should have some kiddos cause they'd be beautiful and have a great dad and just might learn something from ya too Hugs, Viv

I took the 'What Color Rose Are You?' quiz... You Are an Orange Rose You represent desire and enthusiasm Your vibe: Sexy yet familiar Falling in love with you: happens instantly - it's a fast ride I took the "What Kind of Flirt Are You?' quiz... You Are a Friendly Flirt! You are quite the flirt, but you don't flirt with just anyone. And you hardly ever get caught, because your flirting seems so friendly. You've got a good thing going. Tons of friends, both guys and girls. And if you do decide to flirt, hardly anyone's the wiser. Pretty trick! I took the 'How Girly Are You?' quiz... ***You Are 36% Girly*** You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit. Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way. I took the 'Are You A Girl Or A Woman?' quiz... Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman Inside you've got the passion and ideals of a teenager And your intensity for life is what attracts most of the men you date You also like to party - and quite often you're the life of the party You've brought the best of your younger years with you... at least most of the time. I took the 'What You Know About Your Guy' quiz... What You Know About Your Guy: Practically Everything You have gotten to know your man really well From his hopes and dreams to favorite things... You definitely have enough info to figure out if he's *the* guy In fact, you may know him a little better than you know yourself I took the 'What Scent Are You?' quiz... Your Scent is Pumpkin Pie Warm, comforting, and a bit old fashioned You've got what men want - believe it or not! I took the 'What Kind Of Flower Are You?' quiz... You Are A Lily You are a nurturer and all around natural therapist. People see you as their rock. And they are able to depend on you. You are a soothing influence. You can make people feel better with a few words. Your caring has more of an impact than even you realize. Anyway, enough of that... I finished my anthology and sent it in! Edited a few great ones too, so really looking forward to seeing what you guys have come up with. Hugs for my Angel! Survived another weekend I'm STILL sick, and now so is Davey. He said I gave him my germs and! we didn't even get to do anything fun like make out either. *pouts* Get better Sweetie Hugs, Viv

Happy Birthday Sam! Hope it's a great day and a great night too! Hugs, Viv

Welcome back! Missed ya and hope you're well! Viv

My friend just called and said her son is fine, slight fever and an irregular heart beat, but that's normal! :D So yay!

Yes, that's right, the refinance from hell is finished and as of Saturday I deposited a HUGE check into my bank account. Not that it matters all that much since it is all already spent, but in ways that are SO worth it! I am getting rid of my sister, fixing Rich's car so I don'y have to put the TAXI sign on top of MY NEW CAR!!! Paying off all my debt, and it feels great! PS. Thanks to all of you who got in the 'kick Viv's sis' ass and then moved on over to the brother's ass' line, and especially to my sweetie who, it seems, should be sending me his phone bill this month. My anthology entry is almost finished too! Hopefully by the end of today or tomorrow for sure and then after I get my Davey approval I can send it into Kitty! Excited, but still looking for a title, no worries though, I'm sure it'll come to me by the time I finish it. Okay so... I guess you all know I edit for a few people.. Davey Dezlboi Jason, occasionally a few others, and now Shdowgod... so welcome to the club Steve! An elite group of writers we are but seriously.. I am quite impressed by his ability to capture moments in time in the way that he does. Take a few minutes, I promise it will be worth your while and read his story, it's fantastic and as I get deeper and deeper into it, I'm so hooked and connected to the characters. Here's a link... use it http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewstory.php?sid=189 It's called Living In Surreality. So I was sick... still am a bit I guess, but nothing major. No fever or cough, just my head, feeling like it weighs a thousand pounds and not being able to breathe.. details right? But I feel some better today. Maybe it has to do with the two mornings I slept in until 10 am... or the whole day I spent in bed yesterday, except for when I had to go to work last night. My friend had her sons' 4th birthday party Saturday.. the same friend who just had the baby... so I got to hold the baby, and snuggle her, and feed her, and freak the hell out of Rich He was like... Babe, you need to give the baby back, I think someone else wants a turn, NO!!!!!!!! which was funny cause I really am okay with us being done having kids, I actually enjoy the TINY bit of freedom we do get. But I love babies! Her son, everyone send him your good thoughts though please, since today he is having his second open heart surgery of his life, after only 4 short years. Good luck little guy! More mail from Tobi! Still doing fine, but bored like crazy on the weekends and busier than heck on the weekdays. Congratulations to Kevin and the new car! Happy Thanksgiving to all you guys, Kevin, Jason, Conner, Dio, and anyone else I missed. So Davey made me about his anthology story... but still, it's very emotionally moving, grabs hold of you and won't let go till the end, and not even then! Don't forget to read that one for sure! Guess I better get back to the writing, but I thought I better update this thing... it's been a while! Hugs everyone! Vivian

I want you too Luc , and you don't HAVE to feed me either. Umm, I'd like to say that I'm proud of you... for trying and then trying some more, for giving and then giving even more, for protecting yourself and your feelings. For being the man you are, and putting him before you so many times, that what you do for someone you love. Too bad he's not able to be that person back to you, i'm sorry hun... Love ya, Viv

*Claps ecstatically* I'm so glad to be able to help you with this... it's an amazing story by an amazing guy and REALLY worth the read, seriously... go read it.. NOW! Screw all that self promotion stuff... Viv said! What more do you need right? Congratulations big time! Hugs, Viv

There is something to be said about that feeling... that one where you just know that you might be without that person that you loved so much, gave so much of yourself to, but... knowing without a doubt that you would never change one second of it, trade it for anything, because... it's real and you felt it, still do, and it's a part of your soul, always will be too. It's a memory, but more than that, because it's compounded by that feeling you get in your chest, tugging at your heart and your mind, it's a reminder of how much you loved, trusted, wanted that person, how much you were willing to give for that love. I think it's simply... beautiful! I'm glad you put it up here... Vivian

Ewwwwwwwwwwww! and yes, any time hun!

Grocery store worker here... and Kevin is right, btw... like almost every job. Okay so the expiration date deal... That tag they print and stick on your package says sell by, I bet, not use by or expires on, or do not use after... and the reason for that is... that is the only day they are allowed to sell it to you, the same day they sliced it for you. Certain products get a certain amoint of days, like muffins in your bakery might be allowed to be sold for 5 days and chicken breast from the meat department for 2 days or ground beef for 1 day. Now, I don't know where you shop, and I'm not gonna try and say that it's a bad place or anything, cause I haven't been there, but... I will say that I always do my best to make sure every customer I help leaves with what they came in for and feeling like they want to come again, while doing 4 other people's jobs, plus my own, and babysitting the bag boys, and keeping a smile on my own face. You could try asking next time what something means if you don't understand it... then again, I suppose you did that in a round about way here, and now you know. Hugs, Viv

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint

Okay, well not in that order exactly... but it sounded better. Actually, I came, I broke my panties, THEN I chatted... and had SUCH a great time! So... thanks you guys! It was awesome! So many of you showed up and I am still so surprised about that, I'll admit. Kevin AFF, Kevin Bard, Krista, Conner, Drew, Justin, Natey, Robbee, Grant, James, Tony, Steve, CJ, Kurtie, Joey, I'm sure there are more that I am so... horribly forgetting so I'll apologize for that now. But my point was.... OMG! you guys... thanks so much! I had a seriously phenomonal time! So yeah... the panties thing... They really did break! And no, it was not Rich's fault either. Just... I guess that happens from wear and tear but... these were the purple satin string bikini's and... they broke! The best part of the story though is... since they broke... I threw them out, and the next day Rich was doing some laundry and says, "Okay so something weird... your purple underwear are missing!" So I say, "Yeah, they broke, so I threw them out." So he says, "Broke?!" LOL! I think it's oddly... sweet that Rich is keeping tabs on my panties! So it's pink lemonade Jolly Rancher time now, while I am listening to KROQ online since SNOW PATROL is supposed to be playing LIVE in less than 10 minutes!! I heard from Tobi! He posted this as a comment in my last blog but I thought I'd put it out here again... So for anyone wondering where I was, I'm in England now, for 5 months, out of internet, but fine. Hugs to all of you guys. I miss you, Tob So, in better news... my brother has finally signed the refinance papers for our house and they should be arriving at Tony's house today for him to sign, and back here by Wednesday for us to sign again... I am SO getting a stamp this time cause OMFG! But whatever, it has to be done... I'll just pretend I'm signing my autograph or something. So, and a side note... this is the 4th paragraph I've startes with 'so'... but on with it, SO... I called home on my break yesterday, like every day, and yeah, we have caller ID, but when Rich answered he said, "Hello my lovely wife!" And then later he asked me to come home early cause he missed me. Eric is sick! Get better Beautiful! I miss your smooches... but I just can't risk getting sick making out with you so... hurry up already! So I stopped to get gas today... in my jammies I really should try putting on clothes when I leave the house... since I'm getting dressed anyway right? Okay, 5 pages into the fall anthology! Totally loving it so far... I hope it turns out well. Can't wait to see how it turns out! Okay, what else... I totally LOVE that song, The Kill, by 30 Seconds to Mars! HUGE bonus.. Jared Leto... VERY pretty! Okay so, I gave this guy I work with the address to my site so he could read my blog, before I realized that he could read my stories there too So now I'm nervous, but he's cool totally sweet and not judgemental so, I'm sure I'll be fine! Anyway, I'm totally freaking out too cause... well, no one but my family and all of you know I even write stuff... deep breaths! Waves hi to G from work! Alright... so thanks to Bard for all the amazing questions in the live chat! I don't know how long you spent coming up with them all, but they were fantastic! So, thanks Kev! Kay, off to edit!~ Write, and hopefully not break anymore panties! Hugs, Viv PS. My sweetie is snoozin' right now... maybe drooling all cutely, but I hope he gets some rest and comes back to play with me soon And, angel... ANGEL what can I say? It's just... one card OMFG! They are AMAZING! Snow Patrol, LIVE, singing Chasing Cars!