AFriendlyFace

HOOO HOOOO Happy Birthday, Jared!!! I hope you have a fantastic birthday and an awesome year!!

Actually, no. You've got that backwards. I was indeed thinking of Ethno-Centricity and Cultural-Relativism when I made that post, but I'm a cultural-relativist (in terms of their culture), NOT someone who approaches things Ethnocentrically (in terms of my culture). Ethno-Centricity is when you view other cultures (Ethno) from your own point of view (Centricism - centered around your culture). Cultural-Relativism is when you view others in relation to their own culture. I am a cultural relativist. I'm also a moral relativist. Since I view morality in a relative versus absolute terms (I.E. stealing might usually be wrong, but I'd look at the context to decide). I didn't use either term (Ethno-centricity and Cultural Relativism) because these are terms which should be applied when comparing two different societies, and while the society in which I live pretty much is completely different from the one in which Larry Craig inhabited, it's still theoretically all the "American Society". Contrary to popular perception I'm not afraid of stating my viewpoint even if it may indeed offend someone. Granted, I usually try to temper it a bit to take the sting out, and I don't offend people gratuitously, but if the situation calls for bluntness, I can be very blunt. From my moral perspective what Craig and Haggard did was wrong. Based on my best understanding of their values from their moral perspective what they did was wrong. However, I definitely think their were complex psychological and religious factors in play which overall serve to mitigate the degree to which they should be...Condemned(?)...Scorned(?)...JUDGED(!) As someone whose primary points of interest and study have been psychology, sociology, philosophy, and religion I simply cannot - and will not - reduce things to blanket statements or superficial evaluations of "good" or "evil". It would be great if we could simply say that homophobic Evangelical Christians are evil, but the truth (at least as far as I'm concerned) is that they are NOT. They are in most cases very sincere people who mean well but have been conditioned to believe something all their lives (I'm fine with using the term "brainwashed"), and who in many cases steadfastly stand behind their religion and the moral blueprints they've been handed because they feel that they'll "go to hell", "disappoint Jesus", or are otherwise morally obliged to "help the poor misguided sinner". They are not perfect people and their strict moral codes means that they themselves will often run afoul of them. It's tempting to say that when that occurs they should carefully evaluate its merit and discarded any out-dated views; however, unfortunately the concepts of human imperfection and grace/forgiveness/salvation run very deep as well. So instead of saying "this is a stupid rule" they say "I messed up because it's human nature" or "because I'm weak", and then they pray forgiveness. Lather, rinse, and repeat. It IS very sad that Craig (and millions of other gay conservative Christians) are unable to accept their own sexuality. It's a recipe for disaster actually. All their friends, all their family members, and their entire church community (which holds a great deal of sway) would be horrified and shun them (if you've come out before imagine all your worst fears. Now imagine that they're true). Everything they've ever been told about homosexuality is how evil it is. They feel an overwhelming amount of pressure to conform and to also castigate gays. It's further heightened by the fact that they feel those gay urges themselves. They "over-compensate" plain and simple. Then the pressure builds up and they let it out in a bathroom stall. Then they feel worse. Then it all starts over again ad nauseum. Sure, alot of people simply walk away from that, or aren't caught up in it in the first place (like me for example). However, that's due to individual differences in people's personalities, and usually also largely due to their unique circumstances. Yeah, some of us might come from that background and may have walked away from it, and I'm really proud of - and happy for - the ones who did, but that doesn't mean that everyone can, and it doesn't mean that everyone had the same unique opportunities to do just that. I never struggled morally with homosexuality, but I know a lot of people who did. Some escaped it. Some didn't. Tell me they're just evil, stupid, or weak. -Kevin

I have some thoughts on this: In my opinion, you're quite right to point out that that particular section of the article is flat-out wrong. I would agree that they and others have caused like them have caused a great deal of harm to society, civil liberties, and particularly gay people. However, even there I think we must require an asterisk to appear beside the word "harm". I don't believe "harm" is something objective, don't get me wrong, my personal belief is that hindering gay rights is wrong, but I recognize that that's just my stance, and just because I believe it doesn't mean it's right. In fact, since I am a relativist in nearly all matters, especially morality and cultural matters, I don't think it could EVER be objectively stated what is "right" and what is "wrong". That's irrelevant however, I'm content to say that "what they did was wrong" as long as it's understood that I'm simply saying it was wrong from my perspective, and not that I'm making an absolute moral judgment (which I don't with anything). Anyway, yes, they were wrong and they did a lot of harm, and they certainly aren't blameless. However, they were pitiable. I have very little doubt that they actually believed (and undoubtedly from a dangerous absolutist perspective) that homosexuality was wrong, and that their crusades against it were right. I suspect they did struggle with the idea that they themselves might end up going to hell, perhaps they even got some kind of crazy notion that if their "good" (fighting against gay rights) outweighed their "bad" (being gay) then they would be spared. They probably felt that they were entitled to any profit or success they might have enjoyed due to their suffering and/or because their public and political motives were pure, even if their private ones weren't. The author of this editorial makes two extremely relevant and astute observations: Exactly! This makes them extremely sad, pathetic, wretched people, but certainly not evil. What evidence do we have that they believed what they were doing was wrong, and that they felt a huge amount of social pressure? That would be the 2nd observation the author made: (although I wouldn't describe homosexuality as "offbeat") Clearly they thought that what they were doing was shameful, needed to be hidden and couldn't possibly be done in a more positive context (like a relationship). They were gay, they couldn't force down their deepest urges and drives, and the fact that they probably felt fundamentally hypocritical and messed up probably only made the whole thing worse (since being sexually celebrate really should be an option as long as one accepts and expresses one's sexuality in other ways). What would have been fundamentally "evil" (and even here I cringe to use the word), and hypocritical would have been if they'd been secretly involved in gay society, if they'd secretly belonged to forums like this, been involved in loving, positive relationships, had gay friends, etc. and STILL championed against gay rights. THAT would have been messed up and hypocritical. As it was they were, IMO, simply pathetic, and contemptible, one may go so far as to say poorly developed emotionally/religiously/morally, or even "stupid" and "ignorant". I would even agree that their actions are "hypocritical" from most people's perspectives (probably even my own), but I wouldn't call them evil. Their actions sadly make too much sense when viewed from the proper religious and psychological perspectives. They were our enemies, I'm not sorry they were "destroyed", and in fact from a "them versus us/greater good" perspective, I'm glad it happened, and might have considered doing it myself if I were in the position. But let us not over-simplify things or lose sight of the fact they probably were their own worst enemy. Just my thoughts, Kevin

Hi all, Whilst searching for the link to the article in the other thread that I just created about an 88 year old lesbian, I serendipitously came across this Newsweek My Turn article, One Son's Choice: Love or Country?, that I'd read a couple of months ago and wanted to start a discussion here about but had never gotten around to (well till now ). It's written by a mother about her son's decision to leave the U.S. so that he could be legally married. Once again it's here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16840018/site/newsweek/page/0/ Let me know what you guys think! Kevin

Hi all, I just read the article The Love That Will Finally Speak Its Name in the My Turn article section of Newsweek, and I thought it was so good that I was going to type it up. Then I thought 1) "That may be against some kind of copyrighting rule", and 2) "I bet I can find it online and link to it" And look I did! It's about an 88 year old lesbian who's finally come out. Once again the link is: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/20427661/#storyContinued Let me know what you guys think! -Kevin

Great song! I've listened to it within the last hour myself. Right Now: Just Breathe by Anna Nalick Current Favourites: -Famous - Puddle of Mudd -So Hott - Kid Rock -LoveStoned (I think She knows) - Justin Timberlake -Never Too Late - Three Days Grace

He's so popular right now! He is adorable though. I'm not sure if I said this earlier in the thread when it was first created (and I'm too lazy to look ), but I definitely think Jesse McCartney is one of the most beautiful guys I've ever seen!

WOW! Thank you, Old Bob! I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on this! You definitely helped give me some perspective and make me feel better about the whole thing! THANK YOU -Kevin

Hi all, I've recently been corresponding with a new friend online and his questions/comments inspired the following passages from me. I decided I'd might as well share them here: This one's poorly written, but the nature of the message was quick and casual, and I'm not going to edit it, because for some reason I instead feel that it's better to present it unaltered. Emotional Fantasy There was a companion "Sexual Fantasy", but I'm not going to post it here since 1) it's pretty graphic and IMO not appropriate for this blog, and 2) you guys really don't need to know all of my sexual proclivities I also made the following list of "random things about myself", figured I'd might as well post it. Some them most/some of you probably already knew, but the person I was sending it to didn't. It's also in its original, unaltered form. Random things about me Comments are welcomed, especially if you disagree about some of my viewpoints in the "random things about me" section. These are the kinds of things I really like to think about, and also discuss, so I'd be happy to have a debate about them. Take care all and have an awesome day!

It's a punching bag

Oh my gosh that rocked so much!! That's exactly my type of humour!

I didn't know you'd become a waiter, Jamie! I enjoyed those, Conner, thanks!

Aww , thanks! Oh my gosh! I wanna go so bad now! LOL, I mean I already did, but it sounds even more awesome!!

WOW! Mine's just a short walk down the sidewalk, and I'm still lucky to make it as often as every other day Awww That's awesome!!

no you don't want to be superficial, and no you're not plain. You're beautiful just the way you are, Ieshwar Contrary to popular perception I'm extremely camera shy, in fact I had an argument last night with someone because they took a picture of me when I wasn't looking, despite being a close friend who knew how I felt about being photographed (especially whilst unaware). So anyway, I'm unlikely to post pictures again, and it's amazing I did it once at all. Sorry Right exactly, hehe, and someone complimented my eyebrows yesterday! It was a waitress at a restaurant, she told me how lucky I was to have such a great arch, when women spend hours trying to pluck and perfect theirs. HAHA I've always thought it meant more like the person was taking a stand and demanding something (in this case sex ) Have a great day all, Kevin

I love that! Well, with equal success anyway. I would think. I agree that Dennis is unlikely to initiate the sex, but that doesn't mean he's necessarily the "passive" partner once the sex is occurring. I'm imagining something that boils down to: Travis: Let's have sex Dennis: ...well...okay...I guess. But I'm not getting F-d, I'll top. Travis: Whatever. (I'm sure Travis is versatile) An interesting evaluation. Seems plausible, although I still have a hunch that Dennis has thus far been topping. Actually I think in the end he'd be versatile too.

There was a whole thing with Reilly crushing on Aiden, Owen being jealous and insecure, and Reilly being scared of Owen because he thought Owen my thump him for crushing on his BF. From chapter 20:

I definitely agree, Sophie: Brandon is interested in Nels (and he sounds incredibly hot, and they'd make such a sexy couple!), but I don't think his intentions are at all honourable. In fact I personally think he put something in Nels' drink in the last chapter (if it was the last chapter, whichever one it was in which Nels got incredibly drunk and couldn't move).

I agree, Sharon! **stares at his door whilst hopefully awaiting Jude's entrance** VERY well said, James!!!

Yes, I can see how those two factors might trip you up a bit ahh, well given that there are only seven continents from which to choose (and few people seem to be lobbying for Antarctica anyway), coupled with the fact that you'll almost certainly be older at some latter point in time, it seems like your chances are very great indeed

Hey Richie Oh my gosh! That sounds so awesome! and you're definitely not screwed up!! Awwwwww That is really awesome! And I have to say it sounds like your interaction during the game was exactly what the game was focused on trying to create: Teamwork and Trust. What wonderful symbolism for your relationship in general! If I read the story correctly, just behind you on the tablecloth Hmmm, I definitely don't mean to discourage you from something you want to do, and obviously you'd know far better than anyone else what you need and what the situation is, but if this is something special, I wouldn't let it slip through my fingers without going after it. Perhaps I am mistaken but wasn't the no dating for a year thing supposed to be about clearing your head, being in a better place, and getting out of bad patterns (I am making wild suppositions here, that's just what I'd assumed). If you've done those things, and your time alone has helped you sort things out and appreciate that more then maybe it's already served its purpose. I am just guessing here and offering my opinion, as I said I'm sure you'll make the best decision. Awww, that's great! No, you're not!! Take care and have an awesome day Kevin

That was awesome, dude! Way to go!

Very Beautiful

Hey Richie! Oh my gosh! You just totally made my day! LOL, I think you're pretty adorable yourself Have a fantastic day and take care! Kevin

Hey Steve! Exactly! That's how I like to think about things too Thanks for the perspective! LOL! I did have some cake at a restaurant with a friend Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin