Ron

You don't go for the small stuff, do you, James?

"You should lay of the wine, dear sister" "I'm not drinking today, brother dearest." "More wine, anyone?" A classic used to good effect and a laugh out loud moment for me. The conversation and behavior on the walk home from Nick's on Boxing Day with Dave, Mellie and Jason brought on a chuckle. Good humor. I agree with Suvitar in part, as Stuart continues to be an unknown factor in just how he will influence events in the story. Excellent writing as usual, Sir.

The reviews on Amazon... Well, I originally thought the were fake but there are just too many of them expelling expressing the same symptoms. Some of those reviews like the one Mike posted are really quite eloquent.

Welcome Krzysztof! I hope you don't mind Chris since you included it. Otherwise I may put more z's in your name than required. It appears that you have much to keep you busy and admirable goals. You should have no problems making friends here on GA. Cheers!

I am a bit confused as well. Wasn't Mephistophilis a servant of Lucifer, the devil, Luc for short? Why would he be warning Brian. Unless the warning serves the same purpose as a parent telling a child, "I don't want you to see him any longer." In that case - tricky! and good job!

You use imagery in certain instances well. One thing that I would caution against is the overuse of " I ". Find creative ways to eliminate its use, especially at the beginning of sentences, as much as is possible. The sentences have a way of becoming repetitious regardless of content when nearly each one begins with it. Otherwise, the chapter looks good and reads well. Notwithstanding the awful subject matter of 'let's beat the gay out of the boy'. Cheers and good writing to you.

I am not one of the Starbucks trashers. Their Casi Cielo blend from the Antigua Valley (recently released) is rich and lush. It is a medium roast that comes round about this time every year. With the exception of one year out of the last five or six, it has been damn good every year. If you try it, do not skimp on the beans. I use 24 grams per 9 oz mug of coffee with an Aeropress. For anyone in the US, Matt's Coffee out of Maine roasts some mighty fine beans using a vintage Italian roaster fired with native sap and fruitwood from the Maine forests. Their Mocha Java blend of beans has been fantastic. The beans are roasted small batch and only to order. You can get the beans through mail-order at a very reasonable delivery cost using priority mail. For those of you that want to know what the Aeropress is, you can find it on Amazon. I make every cup using it nowadays. If anyone would like to try, I can highly recommend the Mocha Java or Bird Dog (supposedly espresso but makes a nice cup-a) blend. Matt's Coffee

You have a fine touch with personal interaction and it shows in this chapter well. The dialogue was excellent. There was a dryness to the first sexual interaction that prevented me from 'feeling' it, as it were. After Adam woke up and found Mikeal, the following conversation was emotional and marvelous. Mikeal's uncertainty in the scene was nearly palpable, and the sexual interaction that followed was right there believable in every way. I loved the analogy between questions and doubts, and dogs chasing their tails. It was both a vivid and accurate linking. So well in fact, that I immediately found myself imagining those questions and doubts chasing themselves round and round, never to find an answer.

I liked it. The story worked well with the prompt other than I wasn't aware that a psychic was to be included along with the horoscope. You see, Tina knew exactly what Randy told us about his horrible morning but didn't tell her at the beginning of the story. Hehehe. No worries, I knew what you meant.

I loved it! The ending is not at all what you would expect from the beginning. Very nicely told, Andy and the blending of the target words into the story was seamless.

I've been following 'The Less Than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal' on the web and have enjoyed it so much. The premise of a road-trip is not original but the reasons for each of the young men doing it are interesting and the dialogue is cleverly written. The author/artist easily conveys the everyday motions and quirks of two people getting to know one another in his drawings and progresses the story naturally with them. E.K. Weaver is a truly gifted artists. I purchased volumes 1 and 2, and they arrived today along with two prints that I liked. As good as it looks online, I think that it looks even better in print. There is the nature of being able to hold it, the feel of the pages, the ability to see everything writ large without scrolling up and down and of course - not having to click through pages. Volume 3 is out in a few months and I will buy that as well, because the print version is just that good, even though I will continue to read online. My buying the different works has the added benefit in my mind of helping to support an artist who generously offers his work for free. Very much as some of the authors here on GA do.

Ha! Too right.

I'll jump on the dance floor. Happy Birthday Tim! May you have many more.

May yours be much, much better.

Your enthusiasm about getting your story posted was contagious, Mikey. I kept looking for it to be posted but missed it anyway, so I did a search. This first chapter was an easy read from beginning to end. I liked it. I did think that Jen's response was overmuch but then again, she’s had Sarah’s negative influence for input. A friend’s advice is just that, but keeping the little doubts that creep in away from your thoughts can be difficult. Especially if Jen already had those doubts to begin with as reading between the lines indicates. TJ, as they say, doth-protest-too-much. If he were as homophobic as we are being led to believe, there would have been no, ‘let’s trade blow-jobs’ in the first place. He may be trying to convince himself (and Tony) through his words after the fact and his joining the service, but I am not convinced. I will not cover the other participants in this chapter but I will say that the nonlinear way the story is told, and I understand why you did it, prevented me from becoming attached to Tony. From this reader’s standpoint, each shift in time and staging had me more interested in the action of that moment than the necessary act of becoming attached to the protagonist. There were emotional cues aplenty but the shifting and pacing interfered. Apart from that last remark, I want you to know that I did like this first chapter – I hit the button. It is a very good premiere and I am looking forward to your words with enthusiasm. Aside from the story, do you prefer the full Mikeymike88, Mikey or Mike when referring to you?

This proves to show how much there is that folks aren't aware of, even when it may affect their health. Many continue to take herbal remedies right along with their medications, all the while not realizing just how those herbs may interfere with the meds. Best to list any and all vitamins, minerals, over the counter meds such as - aspirin, antihistamines, antacids and such, and herbs that you take for health reasons on your next trip to see your doctor. Or check with your pharmacist; the medical pharmacist, not the guy over on the next block that you have to meet at the back door for your herbal remedy. It's good to remember that if you eat a small bit of grapefruit in a salad that your neighbor prepared, it probably is no cause to rush to the emergency room. That sliver of lime in your gin and tonic is less than likely a reason to think that you may not wake up the next morning either. The gin on the other hand... If in doubt, check with your doctor or pharmacist.

Happy birthday, Cassie! Many happy returns.

Easy, peasy, Wayne. I like your idea of fun in the sun and lack of drama, at least nothing more than some aloe vera won't take care of.

Yes, yes, I am aware that it is a tool to be used just as any other but it is something to be mindful of conscientiously. I do think that I am getting better about certain things and I feel that there is progress being made at my skill level. Curiously enough, the story I checked was an emotionally driven one and people seemed to be moved by it as was intended. Check on the emotional. I get that it wouldn't do to suck the life out of my writing but even so, I'm sure there needs to be balance here as well. I probably shouldn't rely too awful much on emotion and if it is an emotionally driven story, as my writing trends toward, give it a semblance of balance at the very least. *sighs* Work in progress, my friend. Work in progress.

What happened, Mark?, you give a bite to start and a whole mouth full of words on the second go round. Did your finger get stuck? Much like my brain (apparently) as I didn't realize that both chapters had posted at the same time. This is a much better chapter - fuller, richer and more thought out. I do have a suggestion, and that is to step out of your characters and read your story as if someone else had written it, as if you don't who these people are what's going to happen. It's hard, I know but it will help you to find logic errors and nonsensical statements that you might otherwise miss. An example would be when the narrator(?) makes eye contact with Rob about a third of the way in. All told, this is a much better chapter in most every way.

That horoscope must of been for another location as this Libra did not have a day anywhere close to it. An enjoyable read, Kitt.

SmartEdit Lite is a hateful tool. After entering your list of no-no words and popping one of my prompt stories into it, I sat back and winced and grimaced and... I think you may be aware of other, more colorful, adjectives I used to describe my dismay. From one who is learning the craft - It's freakin' hard, Dude! This fella does appreciate the help, however much it may hurt and piss him off.

Happy Birthday, Matt. You old, Spartan! Many happy returns.

Hey, two for the price of one! Welcome to GA, Sam.

Thanks, Sly. That adds a certain manic emphasis that was missing from my remarks!