pvtguy
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Everything posted by pvtguy
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Another chapter chock-full of activity. Thanksgiving will be truly that if Julie can make it. I have to admit that, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, when Becky asked what she could bring to the dinner, somehow I read 'pumpkin' upside down cake instead of pineapple...think I'm overloaded with pumpkin spice everything right now!!! Now on to the next chapter!
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I am concerned a bit about Chipper: while he is acting like a normal man of his age, he is making some choices which could have very negative impact on his future. I know we all make crazy choices when young (and old too, for that matter!), but I just don't want to see anything prohibiting him from the success he is working towards. I truly love how you are focusing so much into the thousand word limit, Carlos! Great job!!! Tony
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I love the intrigue mixed with the love story The closeness of all the family members gives this story an intimate feel that pulls in the reader. Thanks for continuing, Eric!
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It is really getting intense now. I am eager to see the developments! As a retired counselor, I must say that I enjoy how you handle the parenting and family working together. I am concerned about how the boys will handle whatever happens to their mother, but they have a superb support system already in place. Tony
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Thank you, thank you thank you!!! I love this story and I am glad you are finally able to continue it!
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I just want to see good things for Chipper. However, not path is completely without a few stumbles and/or side roads. And sometimes those detours provide great growth opportunities, painful though they may be. I trust he is smart enough to not totally lose caution! Tony
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Chapter 125 The Boy from Neverland
pvtguy commented on Dodger's story chapter in Chapter 125 The Boy from Neverland
Really wonderful chapter, Dodger! So much has been said in the other comments and I don't want to repeat. Please be quick with the next chapter. I really want to see Don getting a bit of karma! Tony -
Again, a lot packed into a small space. Well done!!! Adam's faith in Chipper is sure to pay off in many serendipitous ways! Tony
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A courtroom drama that involves drinking and driving, challenging perceptions of various groups (police and bikers), and wonderful characters. A definite worthwhile read!!
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Excellent story - very well written, serious topics but interjected with humor, and good characters. Tony
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I really ad The Pendleton Omens a while ago. Also Quabbin. I do enjoy your writing.
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Ah....much better closure with this chapter. It was an enjoyable read. Tony
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I guess this makes as good an ending as any....just doesn't feel fully satisfying.
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This format forces you to create a lot in a short amount of space, and you do not disappoint! One can feel the tension, excitement, and drama of the show. Well done! Come on, Tuesday!!! Tony
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It was good to see the planning for the Haunted House. It was very real with the near fight over who would be doing what. It was good to see the resolution. The parties were wonderful - very creative! Wonderful chapter!
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I really like the premise of this story: siblings who really don't know one another and only have their mother in common between the two sets of full-blooded sibs. I like the fact that the story is unveiling slowly. It gives a chance to feel present with them. My only constructive criticism is the rough grammar seen periodically. Need a proofreader? I would volunteer! Tony
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Wonderfully warm and very natural chapter! Though, as indicated, the content was known somewhat beforehand before taping, it still felt very spontaneous. In that Cristina has announced what is happening in her life, her husband is on notice that she has very powerful people working for her. Looking forward to Friday!! Tony
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ACH!!!! Just as you get to the solution, you give us a short chapter with a cliffhanger! Good job! Next chapter soon, please!!!!
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You make even the hum-drum, day to day experiences engaging. This chapter drops hints of coming events: the adoptions, the Haunted House, Julie's progress (or lack thereof), the kids growing up, and the continued comradery of the brothers/husbands as they continue the tradition of the Castaway Hotel. Wonderful work! Tony
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The final scene sums up a lot: Sue has been confronted in very plain language and it can only be assumed that her sharing this information with Don is what drove him out of the house. Robbie has heard himself referred to as a normal teenager - not one with serious disabilities or abnormalities. Thanks for posting...hope the next chapter comes soon! Tony
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I do understand this - I just mean that I am enjoying the story and its development.
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I love how you are taking us through the inquiring mind of the detective at heart. I am eager to see how this pulls together.
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Marvelous job, Carlos. Sticking to the 1000 word limit will definitely be challenging, but it does teach good lessons in precise writing. I applaud your efforts. As to the story, you are a master at creating wonderful characters and compelling stories. How wonderful that Chipper has the contacts to help immediately with Cristina's situation: not everyone who is in this position has those resources so readily available. I am eager to see how this progresses. I do like this format, though will admit I also enjoy your longer chapters too. Tony
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I am so glad you are posting another story. In focusing on one of the Squad, you still are keeping us connected to the family. It actually allows for a much more complete view of another individual member. I, for one (and I'm sure I'm not alone), appreciate your sharing your talent and feel a void when you take a well-deserved break. Tony
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Sometimes it takes something that interrupts one's normal thinking to begin to view things from a new perspective. I'm eager to see where this takes us...
