Jason Rimbaud

I can't believe I didn't think about that, me and my husband uses those, they are so much fun.

Oh no, you don't get to casually mention something and then brush it off! I know you are the author and I'm down to go on this ride. But fucking ketchup on pizza???!!!!!! What fresh hell is this? Where I'm from, this would get a bunny beat! 😛

Wow, It was my impression that his streaming porn was for money, and his first love was music. Otherwise why would he stay with the Mitches when they weren't really making any money or fame? I never got the impression he was looking for fame. Maybe I missed somethings, I do happen to devour the newest chapter in a frenzy, maybe I should go back and re-read things at a more leisurely pace. I was trying to hold off on that until you are finished but if I'm that far off in my understanding, its time to go back and see what I missed. Thank you for this wonderfully layered tale of a rabbit. J

So I didn't make the prompt deadline. Matter of fact, I didn't get much passed (pass) the outline. I think I'll let that story bounce around in my empty head for a while while I finish other projects. But I am curious to read how other, better, more talented writers, handled their prompts. J

As long as you can be a hero for purely selfish reasons! ahaha

So, um, tell me how it went? curious minds want to know!

As a business owner I get scammers calling all the time. And if I have the time, I will keep them on the phone as long as possible. My record is 37 minutes and I spoke to two different people. It was a blast, all my customers were listening as I get going around and around doing just enough to keep them hooked. sometimes its the simple things in life. If I can keep them tied up so they can't mess with someone else who might not understand its a scam, I feel like it's worth it.

Seeing as I know someone who was on a popular reality cooking show, there is not a lot of money in reality TV, unless you are the producer or creator of the show. If your show is popular, money can be made from public appearances. and in some cases endorsement deals. When it was all said and done, he actually lost money because he had to quit his job to compete. I hope the loss of revenue from Jamie's streaming show doesn't land him in financial woes If something is too good to be true, it normally is. J

It wouldn't take much to go back, move a few paragraphs around, add a bit more dialogue in place of the info dump in the first chapter regarding the friends and their "issues". That would tighten up the narrative and make the driving issues, growing up and moving on all the more impactful when you hit them with the gut punch of Eric and Jeremy breaking up. Anyway, that's just my editor hat talking. Because like I said, I really liked this story a lot. Thank you for sharing I want to read another one on my day off. Your stories, the two I've read thus far, are such a different take on familiar themes that I'm excited to see what else you give us.

This story had so much meat on the bone. It reads almost autobiographical in emotion. I don't believe it was ever stated but this feels like post college when life really starts kicking, not quite full adults but boys on the cusp of becoming men. Jermey picking up Eric's uneasiness, rationalizing those fears away, almost optimistically, wonderful emotion throughout that particular storyline. A few scenes where you could have shown a bit more (through interaction between characters) and told a bit less (internal dialogue) but overall a really wonderful slice of life when heartbreak is the only path forward. I really liked this one. J

This is the first anything I've read by you, and I won't bring up the different tenses as someone else already pointed it out. The writing, descriptions, and characters were all well written and I understand where you were going with this sweet tale between two lovers. There are things I could pick on but they don't take away from the story so I will say I enjoyed this and will check out other stories as I do like your voice. Good job!

Is The Christian God Of The Bible Moral? Part Four: The Exodus Hoax An InDepth Look At Morality From An Atheist Perspective Written By: Jason Rimbaud I remember as a young child hearing the story of how Yahweh freed his chosen people from the evil Egyptians. It was so exciting to hear about god performing all these miracles to prove to Pharaoh that he was the I AM THE I AM. And he had all the power to free his chosen people and lead them to a land filled with milk and honey. It was always told from the perspective of how wonderful and powerful god was to free over a million Israelites from bondage. But as I grew older and started reading the bible for myself and not just listening to what my pastor told me, I began to understand what I was reading and there was a bit more to the story than I originally thought. And that story was horrifying. The story of the Exodus was one of the main reasons I stopped believing that the christian god was moral and one I should be worshiping. THE EXODUS So we begin our story in Exodus chapter one. And for this story, I will be using the NIV version. So remember the Hebrews had been in Egypt since Joseph had been sold into slavery by his jealous brothers, where he rose in prominence in Pharaoh’s court. Then during a famine, Joseph brought his family into Egypt where they flourished for generations. They apparently lived side by side with Egyptians and everything was great until long after Joseph died, when a new Pharaoh came into power. Now the bible never says what this Pharaoh’s name is, but through historical documents it is believed to be Ramses II. Though that is only speculation as none of the hieroglyphs in Egypt mention any of the events described in the Exodus story. So this new Pharaoh, the father of Ramses II, who knew not Joseph, looked around at all the Israelites that had infiltrated his kingdom. And when he realized these uber violent people were so numerous he feared they would side with Egypt’s many enemies and work to overthrow him. So he came up with a plan to make them his slaves before they could reproduce so much they would become more numerous than Egyptians. At this time in history, in the entire land of Egypt, there were somewhere between 3 to 5 million Egyptians. Considering scholars say about 1 million Hebrews were supposed to be freed for their Exodus, that fear wasn’t that far off. So Pharaoh put them to work building cities for his empire. But the meaner he was to those poor Israelites, they more they fucked and popped out babies. So even being enslaved did not stop their reproductive tendencies, Pharaoh came up with a new plan. We pick up the narrative in Exodus 1:15, “The king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, whose names were Shiphrah and Puah 16: “When you are helping the Hebrew women during childbirth on the delivery stool, if you see that the baby is a boy, kill him, but if its a girl, let her live.” The bible leads us to believe that the Hebrews were so numerous that Pharaoh was fearful of them, yet they only had two midwives for all those Hebrews. Doubtful, but I’ll play along. 17: The midwives, however, feared god and did not do what the king of Egypt had told them to do, so they let the boys live The bible repeatedly says things like this, feared god, what does that even mean? Does that mean the god these Hebrew’s served was a petty, vengeful god that they did not want to anger due to the repercussions he would inflict upon them? Sounds like a good and moral god to me. And I’m not sure Pharaoh understood how babies are made. Because if he’s murdering all the male children, and one of those slips through, that boy could still impregnate a lot of girls. Just having one a day could possibly yield 365 new Hebrews in one year alone. However, if you kill all the girl babies, and one of them slips through, they could only pop out one Hebrew a year no matter how many times they get seeded. And knowing what I know of boys, if there were no girls to impregnate, they’d just start fucking each other and the Hebrews would eventually die out anyway. So after a period of time and the Pharaoh notices that there seems to be a lot of male babies shitting all over the bricks for his new towns, he summons the midwives back to him. 18: “Why have you done this? Why have you let the boys live?” 19: The midwives answered Pharaoh, Hebrew woman are not like Egyptian women, they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive 20: So God was kind to the midwives and the people increased and became even more numerous 21: And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families of their own So god rewarded the midwives for lying to Pharaoh. So much for number 9 and not lying. And he gave them families of their own, so why didn’t they kill their male children? I’ve lost the thread. 22: Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people, “Every Hebrew boy that is born you must throw into the Nile, but let every girl live” So even in their slavery, those Israelites just kept fucking away. No matter how much work those Egyptians threw their way, they’d get home with enough energy to throw a bone into their wives. Maybe making bricks all day made them horny, all that hot mud...hands mixing mud into molds…gross. The bible doesn’t really say how long a period of time this murderous infanticide continued. All it really says is one day a Levite woman popped out a male child, as the bible states, a fine child, so this woman hid the baby for three months. But for some reason, after three months she could no longer hide him, so she put it in a basket and left it amongst the reeds of the Nile river. And then out of some morbid curiosity, she sent the infant's older sister to see what horrible incident might befall the child from a distance. I’m assuming the Nile had crocodiles, hippos, all manner of birds, leaving the baby amongst the reeds was almost a fate worse than chucking the baby in the river. But logic, and the writers had to have a miraculous event for their soon to be hero. This was a much needed device to prove that this child was saved by god. It came to pass that on that very day, the Pharaoh’s daughter went to the river to bathe, apparently the Pharaoh’s palace and the slave quarters were across from one another. The daughter saw a basket floating in the reeds and sent a servant to fetch it. Much to her surprise it was a Hebrew male baby that her father had been hell bent on murdering for who knows how long. So she decides to keep it. Don’t think too long about what would happen if Pharaoh’s daughter suddenly had a Hebrew baby running around the palace and Pharaoh started asking questions. Pharaoh’s daughter sees the baby’s sister lurking about and calls the girl over. The sister offers to get a Hebrew woman to nurse for Pharaoh’s daughter. Of course Pharaoh’s daughter says yes, and I’ll pay you, so the sister runs and fetches her mother to be the nursemaid. Now I’m sure there was an Egyptian nursemaid that would happily do the daughter of Pharaoh a favor but let’s forget about that logic. Instead, Pharaoh’s daughter gives the baby back to its original mother and says to feed this child that I shall name Moses because I drew him out of the river. Well, technically the servant plucked the child from the river but why let semantics ruin a good origin story. The bible doesn’t say how long the mother got to keep her son before she gave it away like one would give an animal away. It had to have been long enough so Moses was old enough to understand that he was actually a Hebrew and not Egyptian. Maybe it was because he looked like every other Hebrew, or maybe because his mother told him all about his heritage, or maybe Pharaoh’s daughter told him about his miraculous birth. So the passage of time is a bit fuzzy. But the bible does pick up the story conveniently at the same time that Moses commits his first murder. Exodus 2:11, “One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hewbrew, one of his own people 12: Looking this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. So according to biblical scholars, at the time of this murder, Moses was forty years old. So he had been living in Pharaoh’s house, learning how to be a prince, warfare, political maneuvers, and who knows what else was taught to Egyptian royalty for forty years. Why did it take him so long to decide that murder was the best option? You can’t tell me this was the first time he visited the work site in forty years, he had to have known his Hebrew brethren were being abused before now. 13: The next day he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew? 14: The man said, Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian? Then Moses was afraid and thought, What I did must have become known So Moses was shocked that when an Egyptian disappeared on the job site, that a few questions were asked. And why was he surprised that other Hebrews were talking about the Egyptian prince that murdered someone to stop a Hebrew from getting abused. 15: When Pharaoh heard of this, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in Midian, where he sat down by a well. So Pharaoh, one of the mightiest rulers in the world at this time, couldn’t find a forty year old man that only ran away some 300 miles. A man can walk 300 miles in six or seven days. And if you search by chariot, a mode of transportation that can get up to 40 miles per hour, you can cover a lot more ground than if you were walking. So Pharaoh searched for this man and through all these searches, it was never known that a Levite man suddenly appeared in Midian one day. Not a single person mentioned that fact, oh by the way, a stranger appeared the other day and sat right over there by that well. And after a bit, some girls came down to water their sheep and some Egyptians were harassing them and this stranger chased them away. And then the priest gave this stranger his daughter as a reward. I wonder if we are to believe that Moses, a prince of Egypt, was unmarried at 40 years old. Or when he fled Egypt, did he just abandon his family? The bible conveniently leaves out some 35 years of Moses’ life. I guess they didn’t want to include family abandonment in their god freed the slaves story. In my religious upbringing, we all had the idea in our heads that Moses was an impulsive young man who in a fit of rage killed the Egyptian by accident. All the story books depict him in that manner and as a young man, the movies portrayed him in this manner as well. But the reality is Moses was an old man, skilled at life, who murdered someone in cold blood. Looks like number 6 just bit the dust. I am constantly amazed at the lengths apologists will go to warp events to fit into their modern morality. We can’t have our hero, chosen by god to be the mouthpiece for all of Israel to be a murderer, we’ll just portray him as a young man who killed someone by accident. And he felt really sorry about it and he had to flee for his life. His wife, Zipporah, after some time, pops out a baby boy who is named Gershom, meaning I have become a foreigner in a foreign land. And for a time Moses is happy herding sheep around the desert and banging his gifted wife. In verse 23: During that long period, the king of Egypt died. The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out, and their cry for help because of their slavery went up to God. 24: God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. 25: So God looked on the Israelites and was concerned about them. Not sure why in the two hundred years or so of slavery that the moans and groans of the Israelites didn’t bother god before but it’s nice to know that after some 400 years, god remembered that he made a pact with Abraham. For all the time Moses was off playing house with his wife, the Israelites continued to fuck like crazy, popping out babies left and right. They took the bible’s instruction to be fruitful and multiply to heart. And though birth control was known at this time, the Ancient Hebrew tradition was not to use it. They believed that semen is a gift from god, a view I hold as well, semen is the gift that keeps on giving. So male contraception was not allowed, though the bible mentions coitus interruptus in Genesis 38:9. Another little moral tale we can talk about. In Genesis 38, Judah, one of the founders of the twelve Israelite tribes by the way, had a run in with his merciful, just, moral god. If you read Genesis 38, in just ten verses, god murders two of Judah’s sons. One of them is murdered, because Judah instructed him to sleep with the wife of his dead brother, who was murdered by god for some reason. When Judah’s son refuses to get her preggers, when he was fucking her he pulled out and spilled his semen on the ground. Genesis 38:10 states, “What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight, so the LORD put him to death also.” Let that be a lesson to all of you that explode on your stomach while watching the Real Housewives of Ancient Hebrews. Stop spilling and wasting your seed, semen should only be for popping out another baby you can brainwash into worshiping this merciful, just, moral god. Back to those pesky Israelites bitching about how god promised to be with them always. But for some 400 hundred years, god must have been busy sulking somewhere because he was like a deadbeat father, nowhere to be found. But something must have reminded him that he had chosen these people. It wasn’t when Pharaoh was drowning Hebrew boy babies left right and center, or when they were being beaten by harsh task maskers. When that was going on he couldn’t be bothered. But something made him turn his gaze over to Egypt and suddenly he felt some good ole fashion revenge was in order. That was something he could get behind. Exodus chapter three takes up the narrative, Moses was out in the middle of the desert tending to some sheep when he saw a bush that was on fire but did not burn up. And we’ll overlook that Moses was in the middle of a desert, following some stupid sheep around, probably a bit dehydrated, maybe a touch of sunstroke, but no, there really was a bush that didn’t burn and had magical powers that relayed messages from god. Okay Mose. So god tells him he has seen the misery of the Israelites and decided to liberate them. He basically said that after 400 years, their suffering was harshing his buzz and he could no longer ignore it. He then proceeds to reiterate he will bring those Hebrews into a good and spacious land, a land that flows with milk and honey. But god failed to mention it was also the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites. And by the way, for you to have this land I promised you, you are going to have to murder hundreds of thousands of people along the way. So another time number 6th is ignored followed closely by number 7. And if you are wondering what it means for a land to flow with milk and honey, it basically means an abundance of nourishment and rich food. Though the Hebrew writers weren’t the first ones to use such terminology. A very similar term first appears in the ancient Ugaritic text referring to the Canaanite god, Baal. Just another example how the Ancient Hebrew writers stole phrases, saying, gods, creation myths from other people. Then the writers set up gods name, because remember, until this time, Yahweh, hasn’t really been established yet as the Hebrew god. The name in Exodus is I Am The Am I. I am because I say I am, yep, that’s logical. And totally something sheepherders would think sounds smart and godlike. Moses doesn’t like god’s plan at all and tries to worm his way out of being the spokesperson for I Am The I Am. Remember, he’s still wanted for murder back in Egypt. But that little fact doesn’t stop god, nope, he says go and tell the elders of Israel that I am the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. For 400 years, the Hebrews have been telling anyone that would listen that they are chosen people of this god. So by simply telling the elders this, they will automatically accept this old man murderer Moses. Hey god, they will never believe me. I was raised an Egyptian, for forty years I kept them in bondage, you should send someone else. Don’t worry Mose, just tell them I’m this god they already believe in. They’re only slaves, they’ll believe anything you tell them. It's not hard to fulfill prophecies when you know the history. Then after Moses kind of agrees, he tells him to go to Egypt, and take the Hebrews on a three day journey into the wilderness to offer a blood sacrifice to the LORD our god. Yahweh really needed to have blood spilled in his name because he’s a bloodthirsty savage. Or it was because humans who invented god were bloodthirsty and since everyone else around them was doing blood sacrifices, they just adopted the same practices. At least they weren’y sacrificing children to their god, like other people, they only murdered innocent animals, they were so cosmopolitan. This next bit is important so I will pick up from the bible in verse 19: But I know the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. 20: So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that he will let you go. 21: And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed towards this people, so that when you leave, you will not go empty handed. 22: Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians. These few verses are important for two reasons. One, god knows that the Pharaoh is not going to let the people go. He knows he’s going to have to go all cavemen shit on them. And two, he’s going to allow the Hebrews to steal from their neighbors and the neighbors are going to be happy to have it happen. He’s going to make sure they are happy, he has that power. Sadly that power doesn’t work on Pharaoh, just on the neighbors of the Hebrews. Why Egyptians and Hebrews are living side by side is rather odd, slaves don’t normally live amongst their masters. Moses is now back to trying to convince god to choose someone else. So god gives him three superpowers to convince Pharaoh to let the Hebrews go. Remember, right up there, god says they aren’t going to relent until I show my mighty hand. And so he gives Moses the ability to turn a staff into a snake, he can make his hand become leperous at will, and he can turn water into blood. Moses still doesn’t agree, he knows those superpowers are stupid just as I do. That’s the best you can come up with? And only a bunch of dumb sheepherders could ever believe in magic staffs, transmogrify, and sleight of hand. He’s all powerful all right. But that’s the average christian, they believe in this shit. So Moses says I can’t talk good, so god gives him a brother, A-a-ron to speak for him. Where the hell was his brother? Did he follow Moses to Midian? Why didn’t he get tossed in the river? Did his mother hide him as well? Was he better than Moses and she hid him all the way up to adulthood and just tossed Moses aside? Talking about mother liking him best. Well god, I can’t go to Egypt, I’m a wanted man because of the whole, murder thing. Don’t you worry, everyone who wanted you dead are now themselves dead. So god waited until everyone who knew Moses was dead. That’s a narrow scope of powers right there, I can’t free the slaves without murdering a bunch of people and I can turn your hand leperous and change water into blood. Magic. Go get my people free. In chapter four we again see the bloodthirsty side of god emerge. Verse 21: The LORD said to Moses, When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go. 22: Then say to Pharaoh, This is what the LORD says, Israel is my firstborn son 23: and I told you, Let my son go, so he may worship me. But you refused to let him go so I will kill your firstborn son 24: At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met Moses and was about to kill him… That took a dark turn. For this series, I am using the NIV bible because It reads better. But why was god about to kill Moses? Up to this point in the story, Moses was doing everything god wanted him to do. I guess it was Wednesday and god hadn’t killed anyone in a few days and was starting to get the itch I guess. I read multiple versions and all say the same thing, god was going to kill Moses because... 25: But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me she said 26: So the LORD let him alone. Apparently god doesn’t care what type of blood sacrifice he gets, he just needs that sweet sweet blood to flow, even if it comes from an infant's dick. So I guess we have Zipporah to thank for my parents allowing the snipping off the tip of my dick. PS: for all of you campaigning to stop circumcision, fuck you. Uncut dicks are ugly and they smell weird. So circumcision started when god commanded Abraham to cut off his tip as a sign of dedication to the covenant. Why wasn’t Moses’ kid already circumcised? Who knows, plot. But I guess god has always wanted blood. Chapter Five is a bunch of repeating motifs, let my people go. Who the hell is your god and why should I listen to him? Pharaoh has a tantrum and stops giving the Hebrews straw to make their little bricks and orders them to gather their own straw but they have to make the same number of bricks each day despite the lack of straw. The Hebrews complain that Moses has made it harder with his talk of freedom while god seems to be oblivious. Maybe he was still high from all that infant’s blood from the other day. This is what great storytellers do, they amp up the conflict right. Now they have to make the same number of bricks but they don’t have the supplies, so when god actually frees them, it will seem even more miraculous. Let’s keep building the tension. Let’s make it so horrible on those poor Israelites that future generations won’t even think twice about not believing. This is a not so subtle form of control. Exodus 6:1 Then the LORD said to Moses, Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh. Because my mighty hand he will let them go; because of my mighty hand he will drive them out of his country. This is narcissism at its textbook definition. Yahweh is so insecure he had to prove his existence to a people that can never be included in the covenant of Abraham. Remember the one that a fictional god chose the Hebrews to be the special ones. The rest of chapter 6 is trying to prove Moses’ lineage. They had to show that he was indeed connected to one of the twelve tribes of Israel. And since most archeologists don’t even believe this story is real, this entire chapter only serves to prove their guy is related to that guy which proves the divine influence. When you are trying desperately to justify one of the most brutal acts of genocide, you will do anything to relay those events in the best possible light. By tracing Moses’ heritage back to Abraham, that gives you the divine “right” to go into Canaan and slaughter everyone. Because they are the chosen people and Cannan is the promised land promised by an all powerful god that delivered them from slavery. See, we aren’t really monsters, we are just following our god’s whims. Archeologists also tend to believe that the Israelites had always been in Canaan, and the stories are nothing really but stories and probably never happened even close as depicted in the bible. Don’t forget, for most of Egypt and Israel’s contact, Egypt ruled over Israel. One of the reason’s in the 18th dynasty for Egypt’s wealth, is because many Israel cities were paying them tribute. Chapter 7:3 And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart and multiply my signs and my wonders in the land of Egypt. 4: But Pharaoh shall not hearken unto you, that I may lay my hand upon Egypt, and bring forth mine armies, and my people the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt by great judgements. 5: And the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD, when I stretch forth mine hand upon Egypt, and bring out the children of Israel from among them 6: And Moses and Aaron did as the LORD commanded them, so did they 7: And Moses was fourscore years old, and Aaron fourscore and three years old, when they spake unto Pharaoh For those of you that don’t know how old a score is, it’s twenty years. So Moses was 80 years old, and A-A-ron was 83. And notice for the second time, the writers purposefully go out of their way to say that god will harden Pharaoh’s heart. God is going to make sure Pharaoh does not let the people go, because god wants to stretch forth his hand and wreck some shit. And in case you are mansplaining that god wants to teach Egypt a lesson so they will never bother the Israelites again, in less than two hundred years, Israel will be completely ruled by Egypt and right after that it will be the Babylonians, then the Persians, then Alexander, then the Romans. And before that, it was the Summarians who ruled everything. At this point in history, Israel isn’t even a nation yet, and when they do become a nation, they won’t be ruling themselves for long. So the writers, who are making this story up, are just as bloodthirsty as their supposed god. Chapter Seven continues, Moses goes to Pharaoh, he says let em go, Pharaoh says na, so Moses throws his staff on the ground and it turns into a snake. Pharaoh calls his own magicians and they throw down their staff and they too become snakes. Superpower number one is matched by Pharaoh. It really doesn’t matter that the writers say Moses staff ate the other snakes, Pharaoh didn’t let em go. Verse 13, again god hardened Pharaoh’s heart, this is the third time. Pharaoh was circling around the idea of letting them go but god made sure he didn’t, why, because god wasn’t done inflicting destruction on the Egyptians. Maybe it was all those years they spent as slaves, and god wanted revenge. Though since he was god, he could have stopped them from ever becoming slaves but where is the fun in that. So being that Yahweh is a kind, loving, moral god, instead of reaching forth his hand and changing Pharaoh’s mind, he decided the best course of action is to inflict plagues on Egypt instead. This way he can kill a maximum number of people to try to cure his ever raging bloodlust. THE FIRST PLAGUE: WATER TO BLOOD EXODUS 7:14-25 The rest of the chapter is rather repetitive, basically Moses tells Pharaoh let my people go, Pharaoh gives him the finger, so A-a-ron waves his magic staff over the waters, the rivers, the ponds, the baths, and all the water is turned to blood. God took away all the drinking water in the middle of the desert for seven days. How many people died in that little miracle? The human body can barely make it three days without water and he took it for seven days. And everything in the water died, so all the fish, alligators, piranhas, I don’t know what else lives in the water but all the birds would be affected, the cattle, oxen, dogs, pigs, sheep. This little vendetta is really starting to take a toll on these poor Egyptians. And apparently he’s just getting warmed up. I like the fact that god didn’t decide to punish Pharaoh, instead he decided to punish all the other innocent people who lived in the land. The Nile river flowed a long way, so everyone downstream was affected as well, what about all those who weren’t Egyptian. Yea, god is a dick. Why isn’t that the end of the Egyptians? If there is no water, everyone would die. Why didn’t the water stay blood until everyone was dead? Then the Israelites could plunder everything and just walk out. Because god likes to hurt people, so we are onto plague number too. THE SECOND PLAGUE: FROGS? EXODUS 8:1-15 Chapter Eight has Moses going back to Pharaoh, supposedly after seven full days without water. Pharaoh still doesn’t relent, so does that mean god turned back on the water? I don’t know and the bible doesn’t say. Now god said I’m going to infest your entire land with frogs. A-a-ron stretched forth his hand over the river (I guess god turned the water back on), and frogs came everywhere. Then Pharaoh had his magicians do the same thing, and they brought frogs. And instead of getting an epic frog war, Pharaoh says remove the frogs and I’ll let the people go. Moses says give me a timeframe and Pharaoh says tomorrow. Moses goes back after the frogs are gone and Pharaoh says, fuck you, and then hardened his heart. This is the fourth hardened heart statement, we can only attribute two to god and two possibly to a diet with high levels of cholesterol. Maybe Pharaoh was having a bunch of mini strokes and A-a-ron was taking advantage. THE THIRD PLAGUE: GNATS EXODUS 8:16-19 Okay, so the threat level of the plague’s seemed to be lessening the further we go. Turning water into blood, evil, frogs, beside the noise and the pooping, not so much. A-a-ron stretched forth his hand and all the dust in the land became gnats. That’s a lot of gnats. But this time, Pharaoh’s magicians could not replicate this horrible scary feat. Once again, Pharaoh hardened his heart. I think any normal sane person, after the suffering his land and people had to endure to this god of Israel, would have said get the fuck out and take your dick of a god with you. But this is a made up story so the writer had to keep building the tension. THE FOURTH PLAGUE: LORD OF THE FLIES EXODUS 8:20-32 So this is where the story differs. This time Moses is asking Pharaoh to allow the children of Israel to journey into the desert where they will make sacrifices to Yahweh. He’s not asking to let his people all the way go, just go for three days so their sacrifices wouldn’t anger the Egyptians. He further explains that for this particular plague, flies would consume all of Egypt, all it’s citizens, its animals, but in Goshen, where the Israelites dwelled, it would be blissfully fly free. Does this mean that for the first three plagues, the children of Israel suffered through them as well as the Egyptians? Once the flies are doing their fly thing, and Pharaoh sees that Goshen has no flies, he relents, orders Moses to take his people and make his sacrifice. So Moses has A-a-ron turn off the plague of flies and then Pharaoh, you guessed it, hardened his heart and says I don’t think so. THE FIFTH PLAGUE: LIVESTOCK (or what I’d like to say, innocent bystanders) EXODUS 9:1-7 If there is one thing we know about Yahweh, he fucking hates animals. Remember we already discussed if a man fucks an animal, both of them should be put to death. And now, he attacks all the Egyptian livestock, horses, camels, donkeys, cattle, sheep, and goats, by giving them all a plague. But to the Israelites livestock, they are spared somehow. The bible says in verse 6, that all the animals died. All of them died. Not sure how many survived the whole no water for a week, but all of them died. After investigating that none of the Israelites animals had died, Pharaoh didn’t harden his heart, instead he just had an unyielding heart. Little different, I guess the writer saw the repetition and wanted to say it another way. THE SIXTH PLAGUE: BOILS EXODUS 9:8-12 Now god is getting serious. He’s already killed all the animals in the land, who knows how many people all the way down the Nile, but now he figures boils are the next best thing. A step up from gnats and flies, not as drastic as killing all the animals, but inconveniently painful. Exodus 9:9 It will become fine dust over the whole land of Egypt, and festering boils will break out on people and animals throughout the land. The people I can understand, but I feel like I am kicking a dead horse, see what I did there?, but why punish the animals with boils? And I thought all the animals were dead already? I can’t believe the bible has a contradiction, I am gobsmacked. Pharaoh’s magicians tried to duplicate the boils but couldn’t stand because of all the boils they had on their body. So once again, god hardened Pharaoh’s heart according to verse 12. That’s three v three. Many christian apologists offer as an explanation why god doesn’t come down today and reveal himself to the world, humanity would no longer have free will to serve him. But from the beginning of this story, god purposefully took away the Pharaoh’s free will at least three times in the story, maybe six times. Luckily the bible is infallible and has zero contradictions. THE SEVENTH PLAGUE: HAIL EXODUS 9:13-35 This plague is rather long, almost an entire chapter. And there are several verses that directly impact our pending question, is this god a moral god. So I will be quoting more than I have previously. So forgive me but I think it’s important as this story is the foundation for Jewish, Christian, and Islamic religions. Without this Exodus story, do we even get to either of those three basically ruling the world? 13: Then the LORD said to Moses, Get up early in the morning, confront Pharaoh and say to him, This is what the LORD, the god of the Hebrews says, Let my people go, so that they may worship me 14: or this time I will send the full force of my plagues against you and against your officials and your people, so you may know that there is no one like me in all the earth. 15: For by now I could have stretched out my hand and struck you and your people with a plague that would have wiped you off the earth. 16: But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. 17 You still set yourself against my people and will not let them go 18 Therefore, at this time tomorrow I will send the worst hailstorm that has ever fallen on Egypt, from the day it was founded til now 19 Give an order now to bring your livestock and everything you have in the field to a place of shelter, because the hail will fall on every person and animal that has not been brought in and is still out in the field and they will die. 20 Those officials of Pharaoh who feared the word of the LORD hurried to bring their slaves and their livestock inside 21 But those who ignored the word of the LORD left their slaves and livestock in the field I guess in this plague, god was feeling a bit peckish, maybe from all those deaths of the animals the plague before, so he warned everyone. But not before he said I could’ve wiped you off the face of the earth, but I didn’t. Hello, already in this tale how many people and animals have already died. All the animals in the land have died twice already. Not to mention the people from lack of water, having no food to eat because the damn frogs ate everything, the disease that must have spreaded due to all those animal carcasses rotting in the desert sun. Like this way was any better than killing them all out right. I guess they wouldn’t have suffered first and they also wouldn’t have known that Yahweh was the author of their destruction. And god really needs the wicked to know he’s the one punishing them. 25 Throughout Egypt hail struck everything in the fields, both people and animals; it beat down everything growing in the fields and stripped every tree 26 The only place it did not hail was the land of Goshen, where the Israelites were. 27 Then Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron, This time I have sinned, he said to them. The LORD is in the right and I and my people are in the wrong So I have a problem with the word sin. At this point in the story, Pharaoh hasn’t technically done anything wrong. He won’t let his property go having a burning man in the desert. As was the custom of the day, your slaves were your property to do with as you will. If anyone sinned it was those pesky bitchy Israelites. Because Ephesians 6:1 Slaves obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of god from your heart. I know that’s from the New Testament but since Jesus said he came not to change the law but to fulfill it, what’s right is right and since god doesn’t change, the Israelites were wrong. How’d you like that bit of mental gymnastics right there? So verse 28 Pharaoh is pleading with Moses, your god has beat us into submission. So Moses said I will stop this from happening even though I know you are about to fuck me again. But remember, all your animals are dead again, and all the people god bashed in the head won’t be coming back, you really should reconsider. It is even told that the flax and barley was destroyed though not the wheat and spelt (whatever the fuck that is). 34 When Pharaoh saw that the rain and hail and thunder had stopped, he sinned again, he and his officials hardened their hearts. 35 So Pharaoh’s heart was hard and he would not let the Israelites go, just as the LORD had said through Moses. And I could stop right here and my point would be proven. If god already knew before the very first plague that Pharaoh would hardened his arteries, then why all these plagues in the first place unless it was to cause as much damage as godly possible. He killed animals, fish, birds, people, who knows how many already and the worst of the worst hasn’t happened yet. The christian god of the bible has no morals, no sense of right or wrong, only vengeance and blood lust. Or the writers of this fairy tale had the morals of savages. To be fair, everyone had the same morals back then. It’s not like I’m picking on the Hebrew writers. They were no worse than any of their contemporaries. But remember, christians deem this book to be true, and that god is somehow moral. His wanton destruction of animals, needless cost of human lives, and catlateral damage to all living along the Nile is reprehensible. And it was all to prove that he has a bigger dick than Amun-Ra. Though to be more accurate, he was whipping out his dick not at Amun-Ra, but probably Hapi (god of the Nile) and/or Khnum (guardian of the Nile) since most of the plagues dealt directly with the Nile. But we’re only on number seven and the worst is yet to come. For those keeping score, 3 v 5 Can you imagine being an Egyptian in the furthest reaches of Egypt, like on the edge of the empire. You have experienced all these plagues and have no idea why or that there is a contest of wills between Pharaoh and god happening at the capital. All you know there was no water for a weak, frogs overran your house, you got gnats, then flies descended on your and your family, all your livestock was murdered from an unknown pestilence, you woke up with boils on your dick and now hail falls down and kills all your animals (again) and your two kids who were playing in the fields. THE EIGHTH PLAGUE: LOCASTS EXODUS 10:1-20 I’m only going to quote two verses from this plague. 1 Then the LORD said to Moses, Go to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his officials so that I may perform these signs of mine among them Again this plague is locusts, a form of grasshopper that eats every living plant, tree, shrub, tiny animals, bugs, they are particularly nasty. And the bible says they covered the ground throughout all the land of Egypt eating everything that was left, basically everything that survived the hail storm. Not only seeing the sky black with swarms of locusts, but they ate everything, this would result in hundreds of thousands of people starving to death. And god knew it would not get him the desired result. no result. Matter of fact he boasts that he’s only doing this so the children of Israel will know how much of a bastard he can be and that they should never forget that. 20 But the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he would not let the Israelites go. Fuck you christian god, right in the neck. 5 v 5 THE NINTH PLAGUE: DARKNESS EXODUS 10:21-29 21 Then the LORD said to Moses, Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness spreads over Egypt–darkness that can be fel 22 So Moses stretched out his hand toward the sky and total darkness covered all Egypt for three day 23 No one could see anyone else or move about for three days. Yet all the Israelites had light in the places where they lived 24 The Pharaoh summoned Moses and said, Go, worship the LORD, even your women and children may go with you, only leave your flocks and herds behind 27 But the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he was not willing to let them go 6 v 5 for those who are counting. Let’s not even get into the physics of how darkness could happen in one place but not in another for three days. Pharaoh relented, he said take your kin, your livestock, go worship your god. But god took away the man’s free will because he needed to kill just a few more hundred thousand. He wasn’t done proving his specialness quite yet to his chosen people. For some reason Yahweh has always come off as a very insecure god. It’s like he constantly needs people praising him, telling him how awesome he is and when you don’t praise him every moment of every day, he sulks like a child and smites you off the face of the earth. He might not have wanted to wipe Egypt off the face of the planet, but if you logically follow the results of all these plagues, Egypt should be doomed never to recover. But we all know that Egypt survived, and in a few hundred years, took over Israel again so god murdered all those people and animals for nothing. I can only imagine living in a world, in ancient times, when Rabbis would tell these tales and all the good Hebrews get little god-boners at the thought of all that death and destruction. I guess your god takes on the attributes of it’s worshipers, so the Ancient Hebrews must have been some blood thirsty killers. They were forever killing everyone and everything throughout their entire culture. Whether or not they gave credit to this Yahweh or not, they are the ones that did the killing. I am really tired of writing about all this pointless death. But we have one more left and it’s a doozy. THE FINAL PLAGUE: KILLING OF ALL FIRST BORN MALE CHILDREN EXODUS 11:1-10 This is the shortest chapter in Exodus, and the entire chapter deals with what god wants Moses to say to Pharaoh. The important part comes in verse 5: Every firstborn son in Egypt will die, from the firstborn son of Pharaoh, who sits on the throne, to the firstborn son of the female slave, who is at her hand mill, and all the firstborn of the cattle as well. What is truly horrifying about this verse, I get it, kill the firstborn of Egyptians, they are the one keeping you slaves, but to kill the firstborn of the female slaves as well, and the animals, though how in the fuck could there be any animals left in all of Egypt. Yes, the Ancient Hebrews who wrote this story, they knew the audience. The audience was this blood thirsty, they believed in this story about the big bad Egyptians getting their just desserts from this god protector. I’m sure when the common person heard this story their hearts swelled with pride and they felt some kind of national pride. It’s barbaric to kill the slaves, who had nothing at all to do with keeping the Israelites inside Egyptian borders. But god just bought a new sword and he really wanted to try it out to see just how many people he could kill in a single night. 10: Moses and Aaron performed all these wonders before Pharaoh, but the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he would not let the Israelites go out of his country. This chapter closed with yet another tampering with free will. I know this must be repetitive reading this but I want you to really understand the depths of this bastard. As he is orchestrating a mass murder, he goes out of his way to harden Pharaoh’s heart. To ensure that he would have to go through with his dastardly scheme of murdering innocent children. I think we have moved on from is the christian god, a moral god, and into the realm of fantasy. You must understand the Hebrew writers who probably combined five or six different Moses stories into one narrative for the Torah, they knew their audience. They knew the Hebrews would settle for nothing less than a persecution complex that lasts until this very day. All throughout the bible, it states over and over again, that everyone is against them and only god can save them from the entire world. The famous sermon on the mount, Jesus says that over and over, if life is hard, Satan is coming after you for believing, pushing this narrative of persecution that we hear today. Christians constantly say they are under attack when they can’t spew their hatred and bigotry to the masses. And it all started with the Exodus story and the expectation that if you just follow Yahweh, he will deliver you. The next two chapters deal with the Passover feast, a celebration once a year that commemorates the mass murder of Egyptians. They still do the passover feast, they eat their bread, tell of the time when they dripped blood over their door and the angel of death passed them to kill Egyptians, slaves, animals. Just the imagery alone is disturbing, Yahweh is as blood thirsty as they come, Egypt will be swimming in blood and yet he demands more blood over the door. So in place of killing Hebrews, to be spared they still had to offer blood in the form of animals. This is just more killing in a story that has an insane amount of killing. who had to slaughter animals to get the blood to put over the door, more killing in a story that is nothing but killing. Exodus 12:21 Moses summoned all the elders of Israel and said to them, Go at once and select the animals for your families and slaughter the Passover lamb I guess baby sheeps taste better than adults sheeps. Exodus 12:29 At midnight the LORD struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh, who sat on the throne, to the firstborn of the prisoner, who was in the dungeon, and the firstborn of all the livestock as well. Now it’s not just the slaves, but the prisoners as well. One of the things I had not mentioned, but during the passover instructions, god commanded them to also offer up to him the firstborn of animals every passover, so the slaughter can continue year after year. And is it every firstborn? So an old man, who was the firstborn, did he die, as well as his firstborn? If that is the case, a boatload of people died that night because god hardened Pharaoh’s heart. Exodus 12:37 & 41 38 The Israelites journeyed from Rameses to Sukkoth. There were about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides women and children. (so about 1,200,000 million Hebrews left Egypt 40 Now the length of time the Israelite people lived in Egypt was 430 years So after god’s blood lust was fulfilled, and he sat lazily with a belly full of blood, the Hebrews gathered their flocks, livestocks, and the silver, gold, clothing, they “borrowed” from their Egyptian neighbors, they took off into the desert, six hundred thousand men, so easily over a million people took off into the sunset. I do find it an interesting fact, that in this forty year Exodus, it is estimated that over a million Hebrews die in the desert wanderings. Of course the bible says they wandered until the entire generation that fled Egypt was dead, punishment for their lack of faith and for worshiping a golden calf. I will touch on this later in the series. Exodus 13 is more instructions on how to kill animals in remembrance of killing Egyptians. And when the narrative finally picks up after they left Egypt, there is an interesting verse. 17 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. (remember they are on their way to Canaan, only 480 miles away) For God said, If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt These chosen people, who had just been freed after 300 years of slavery, seen 10 miraculous plagues, saw animals wiped out numerous times, finally on their way to a land that was promised to them over 400 years earlier, might stick with this divine being for longer than a day before they rebelled. Passages like this makes one realize this story never happened and was written as an origin story for their religion. And we actually don’t know what the contemporary people thought of the Torah, though some scholars and in particular Judaism scholars did not believe they took the Torah literally. Instead they looked to it for moral guidance, (I think I am kicking that door down rather easily), behavior traditions rather than historic document. That would make sense to me, as the evidence supporting this event is thin at best and non-existant for most. Yet even if they did think of this as a guidebook on how to be good Hebrews, it doesn’t forgive that the moral systems they were learning could never come from a divine god as it is corrupt at its core. Thus written by men, brainwashing an entire people to think and behave in a certain manner they thought was righteous, just, moral, and divinely entitled. Oh fuck, I’m not even finished with the story yet, there are a few more hardened hearts and about 1.5 million more people to murder before we reach the end. I soldier on so you don’t have too. Exodus 14 1 Then the LORD said to Moses 2 Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. They are to encamp by the sea, directly opposite Baal Zephon 3 Pharaoh will think, The Israelites are wandering around the land in confusion, hemmed in by the desert 4 And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD. So the Israelites did this The christian god of the bible, after already killing hundreds of thousands of people, ruining Egypt for years after 10 horrific plagues, still needed fucking attention from a group of people that he never chose, never wanted to choose, and wouldn’t allow into his embrace anyway, couldn’t let them be. Pharaoh already relented, god had won. But he’s like, I don’t think this group of people who have already acknowledged my superiority learned that lesson quite good enough. I need to ensure that they never forget who their fucking with and from now until eternity they will let my people alone. They learned, for about 150 years, then they forgot and kicked the shit out of Yahweh and his people and ruled over them. 9 The Egyptians–all Pharaoh’s horses and chariots, (bible says 600), horsemen and troops–-pursued the Israelites and overtook them as they camped by the sea near Pi Hahiroth, opposite of Baal Zephon The bible is a bit vague as to how many Egyptians pursued the Israelites. But I know if I was chasing 1.2 million Hebrews into the desert, I’d have a force big enough to recapture them and escort them back. Our best guess of the total Egyptian population during this timeframe is between 3 million and 5 million, so 350,000 soldiers seems like a reasonable number of an army that could have been fielded. Though it would be rather hard to supply that large a force seems like a reasonable number So who knows, let’s say for argument's sake, Pharaoh’s army was 350,000, that would be hard enough to keep supplied. All we do know is when Mose dropped his hand, the waters came rushing down and drowned man and animal alike. This would have been the death nail into their proverbial coffin if the events of the Exodus really happened like the bible describes. When scholars say there is not any evidence of these events in the historical record, a good portion of that assumption is because Egypt grew in political power and amassed a great deal of wealth during this period. Egypt was also known to not be keen on slaves, the modern thought being skilled workers constructed their cities, monuments, and pyramids as opposed to forced labor. As this is an in depth look at morality, I will not get into the evidence either for or against this story from being accurate or true. Though I think the case was made rather easily by just reading the texts. This was probably based on several real events that had been passed down orally for hundreds of years before someone sat down and decided to make sense out of all of them which is why you get the weird chapters of just repeating narrative. You have to remember that for a time, even Israel worshiped several different gods alongside Yahweh. There are passages in the bible where prophets would get angry and Hebrews worshiping other gods, seemingly turning their back on I AM THE I AM. It’s no wonder that Rabbi’s needed to keep the Hebrews on the right track, and that is where the Torah came into play, which is also why Yahweh is portrayed as such a monster. Fear is a strong tool to keep the populace in line. As a propaganda tool, the bible is the most successful book ever written. Israel and Palestine are still fighting to this very day because Palastians are descendants of the Amalekites that god promised to fight against from generation to generation in Exodus 17. And if you don’t think that’s the basis for hatred between the two peoples you are fooling yourself. For continuing murder thousands of years later, the bible is the book that keeps on giving. We end our great Exodus story with an amazing 1.2 million more deaths by the hand of Yahweh. And this time, it was the very people he chose to protect. Because of their wondering how they were to be fed and watered in the desert, because they chose to make a golden calf to honor god, he cursed them to wander around the desert for 40 years so that every Hebrew that came out of Egypt would be dead before they made it to the promised land. To bring it back to would you kill 210,000 to save a million, Yahweh killed a million to save a million and then decided to kill the million he saved. I have made myself sick realizing that anyone who claims the christian god of the bible is a moral god, is just doing mental gymnastics because it makes them feel good about what happens after they die. I just spent the last two months researching this story and had many conversations with theists, atheists, and agnostics about the morality of the Exodus. If we based our modern morality and ethics on the christian god of the bible, our world would be a lot more violent, more suffering, and all out war as we take whatever we wish from our neighbors. I’ll leave you all with just a few more questions to ponder. Should we believe the bible to be the divine inspired word of god? If so, with all the immorality inside its pages, if it is divine, is it a good blueprint for us to follow when it comes to deciding our own morality? Should we even give a shit about the christian god of the bible, especially if it's true? The final count where god took away free will—8 v 5

Thank you for commenting, when I re-read this piece I cringe. Not because of how poorly it's written, it is, and not because of all the formatting issues I run into when posting to GA, it drove me to drink. It's about the subject matter, it is no longer something I struggle with not like when I wrote it back in 1996. If I were to write this story today, it would have a different ending. For what it is, it will be here for me to look back at and wonder when I was ever so naive. J

You might be right... I think Cottontail has a good chance at being John Smith. But John Smith is too on the nose to be a real name. If Jamie denounced his family name, Cottontail could have done the same thing distancing from the name Hearst. And tame isn't the word I'd use for this chapter.

No one is going to mention that Cottontails brother calls him Hearst?! J